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What is the best way to kill myself without...
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What is the best way to kill myself without drawing any attention to it?

I'm a PhD student and I had a massive mental breakdown last year. I have barely been able to leave my house. I teach online and took one class last semester that I ended up needing to drop because I was hospitalized for self harm and ended up having to stay for 3 weeks in a recovery facility because I was still super fucked up.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD from shit that happened in my childhood as well as genetic bipolar disorder, and general anxiety disorder. I also see a specialist do cope with agoraphobia that I've developed over the last year.

There is this one girl in my phd program who I went yo grad school with and she always makes up horrible rumors about me for no reason other than because I was a "freaky nerd kissass who cares too much about this stupid field".

The faculty love her because she's very two-faced. I have done better work, but knowing she would be following me into the phd program horrified me.

Anyway, I want to take another semester off because I still am so fucked up I can hardly leave my house. I was JUST put on lithium and it makes me more suicidal than ever.

My family and husband both know how fucked up I am and are always watching me because I had 12 hospitalizations from serious suicide attempts in 7 months. The problem is that someone always finds me, even when I try my best to hide it.

I doubt my department wants to deal with all my fucking shit anymore and I'm too afraid of going back to school.

The problem is how do I kill myself without anyone finding out and trying to help me?
But its not?
1. pick up phone
2. dial 911
3. tell them you want to kill yourself
What the fuck? If they always find you then you haven't really tried.
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Take benzodiazepine pills from your grandma/mother/whoeverhasit, or find someone who deals them. The stronger the better - Ritilin or Xanax should do well.

Buy a bottle of liquor of your choice - you know yourself so choose the one you tolerate the best. You don't want to throw up.

Go to some abandoned building where nobody comes, find a nice place to hide, and get drunk.
That will get you reasonably loosened up, so when you feel that you're well intoxicated, take 10x the normal dose of benzos which you stole/bought.
Do some research to make sure you won't wake up, because alcohol + benzos make people do crazy shit and remember nothing in the morning.

You will fall asleep soon and never wake up.

If you're not really into it, then check out cyanide.
>pic related.

Good luck man. See you on the other side.
Why would I do that? They'll just fucking take me to the hospital again and keep me there for 2-3 days until I say I'm not suicidal anymore, which is a fucking lie.
then don't lie about it
Are you looking for the motivation or the method?
shotgun blast to the head works quite well

i wouldn't be too concerned with people finding your body since by that point you'll be incapable of feeling anything, just go to a forrested area so no one has to dispose or clean up your body. And besides you've been eating animals your entire life, isn't it time you gave back?
They took and sold my car and my husband watches everything I do.

I've tried many different pills, cutting major artries in the shower, walking into traffic. Somehow it always gets fucked.
There is no way I could buy a gun anymore. I'm heavily watched by everyone.
Just 3 days ago I tried taking 10mg of ativan, which is a benzo, and I just threw it up.
In which caseems they will just keep me in the hospital until they move me to a psych facility. I've been there, done that.
>There is no way I could buy a gun anymore. I'm heavily watched by everyone.
then buy a rope and hang yourself
I have tried. My husband quit his job and is basically a fucking nurse to me. If im.alone in a room for more than 5 minutes he will break down the fucking door.
I remember a bpd person i met in a psych facilty tried killing herself with bleech you could try this just drink a bottle and it'd be good cos once its swallowed you cant go back
You do know that means he loves you right?
If you die it will break him too
Then quit trying to kill yourself. It's obvious that everyone around you knows and cares about you and doesn't want you to die. YOU'RE FUCKING MARRIED YOU SELFISH DUMBASS. If you don't want to live for yourself, love for your husband who loves you and was willing to quit his career and potentially destroy his future just to keep you alive.
Don't kill yourself you faggot

<copy pasta about doing something extreme instead>

Why don't you go volunteer and help someone in neeed instead of being a self centered faggot?

Why don't you go remove kebab?
PS, people who want to kill themselves do it without asking advice. It's pretty obvious how to kill yourself.

So since you don't want to kill yourself, refer to above post and do something extreme and good
go buy a shotgun and clean out a drug den, you worthless faggot

i guarantee you wont succeed but you'll take at least one of them with you
PPS, read thread and apparently you're married?
>wah, someone loves me and wants to take care of me, I want to kill myself
You know how much shit other people have to deal with, and deal with it instead of wanting to kill themselves? Go read the bible or something
Basically this.

OP, you don't have the right to kill yourself. Sorry. You're married. Your life isn't solely your own anymore. It actually never was, but definitely not now. You don't have the right.

What you need is hospitalization (again) and to be truthful with the doctors this time. Nothing we can say will be able to help you, but they actually can. This can get better -- and don't fucking correct me, I've had to check more than one person I was close to into the hospital to keep them from killing themselves, and with time and professional help they did slowly improve. They're still alive today and not in pain anymore.

Tell your husband you want to go back to the hospital and actually work with the doctors this time. Then go back to the hospital and actually work with the doctors this time. Even if you don't give a flying fuck anymore about yourself, you owe it to your family and husband.

This can get better. I've seen it happen.
you have a husband thta you are willing to leave behind because some bitch is making up rumors about you?

ok op, when i was in middle school i was heavily bullied, not just some fucking rumors, but fucking beat up. you know what i ended up doing? standing up for myself. i had enough of the bullshit and lashed out. i was never messed with again.

if you really want advice on how to kill yourself just jump off a fucking building. there are ways to do it.jump in front of a car. jump out your window.

this just sounds like a slight cry for help. you know you can kill yourself if you actually wanted to. cutting your wrists isnt the most effective way to do it. take a break from school, destress yourself, and fucking stand up for yourself. stop being a doormat and just call her out on her bullshit.

i believe you can be better op, we all have it in us. i had a gun to my head ready to pull the trigger when i had my moment of clarity.

seriously though, you need advice on how to kill yourself? there are a million ways i can think of. off the top of my head you can od off tylonel or drink fucking bleach. i dont beleive for one second that you are looking for genuine suicide advice though.
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