Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
>Who is Brandon/Female Brandon?
A shitposter who's convinced he's ugly. He keeps posting his picture to ask if he's ugly and to ask for dating advice, only to rebut or ignore any responses he gets. Female Brandon is a girl who pulls the same shit.
Also piss off.
Are you looking for an argument? Like 90% of women are destined to be stay-at-home moms. Or maybe get a part time job AND be shitty moms. You wouldn't believe how fucking hard it is to find a career-minded woman who likes sleeping more than children. Really, man?
Fuck you, I'm not that guy, nor am I looking to be in an arguement, but do you really know how hard it is to find a woman who wants to live a traditional gender role, nuclear family, american dream life with him?
I have this fetish. I like pounding on a womans cervix and her screams only make me pound harder.
Current gf doesnt want to have sex with me unless shes ontop but I cant really get off to that but shes too scared of me on top.
I'm not the guy you're replying to, but I like gender roles because I'd honestly have a hard time finding a woman who will make more money than I will. Too many women convince themselves that they aren't any good at STEM subjects. I might as well bring home the bacon while she tends to the cooking and cleaning.
I'm sure in a marriage, the husband and the wife will come to some sort of consensus on division of duties. And isn't paying 80% of the bills and doing 50% of the housework preferable to paying 100% of bills and doing 100% of the housework if a guy is living alone anyway?
I'm sure you really just want a nice boy, not just an excuse to rebel against society because you cant get a girlfriend
I really don't know why you're replying, and this is from a shitposting asshole who gets a kick out of being the devils advocate.
If you had a choice, would you choose:
>tall and skinny guy
>short and muscular guy?
Also, please add some other details, as difference between just a hookup and a long term relationship, how tall are you, etc.
Either, to be honest. For me, it depends on how nice his face is, his personality, etc. And this is for hookups and long-term relationships, although I've never put myself in a position to hookup. It's just not for me. If a guy has large, glaring character flaws, I just don't find him sexually attractive, even if he looks great.
If my only options were those two and assuming everything else is different, short and muscular. Not because I like muscles, but because I'm 5'0" and I'd rather have someone closer to my height. Medium height with medium build would be my idea.
I'm really into the hungry skeleton type, but I don't like guys that are too tall, since I'm 5'0". Ideally, I'd like a guy around 5'8" and skinny.
And you know, personality trumps looks but I know that's not what you asked.
Yes but that's not exactly a fair concept; I personally do not like dating someone who wants really nice shit all the time and doesn't want to put in the 40 hour work week or some kind of equivalency counting for school. Like I'll work that 60 hour week against your 40 consistently, but if it feels like I'm the only one who stays busy I'm out
Well if you've gotten to the marriage stage, you clearly wouldn't feel like the relationship is unequal. I'm still not really seeing the appeal of a partner who stays at home while you work. I don't know if I could sit back while they did all the housework, even if I was the one earning all the money. That's just not in my nature, and I'm sure many people would agree.
Girls (and boys):
Should I ask a girl directly if there's something going on between us? We get along really good and can talk openly about anything.
I don't pedestalize her or anything, just don't want to waste my time...
If she really got sick, you should call her and check how is she and stuff.
If that's an excuse, well, who gives a damn about her.
But since she invited YOU out, I would think that she really is sick. So call her man, ask her how is she, if she lives alone ask her is she needs anything etc.
Yeah, just fit it into the talk. Get in the situation where you can just casually ask "So, would you go for a coffee with me?". It usually works for me, and I'm the "nice guy" kind of person, at least people see me that way.
I think that the marriage factor shouldn't really be relevant, what we're looking at here is at point of sharing expenses and living together what appropriate balance is, I guess what I'm saying is I just have an expectation of effort, and that I'll always match that effort.
For example: If im making 100$/hr I don't assume it's ok for me to just work 4 hours a week and expect my partner to work 40 hours because she makes 10$/hr, I mean we both work full time. I guess I've just seen too many a time where people move in together and the woman immediately starts cutting back her work hours, and having been a breadwinner in all my relationships I think that's an awful thing to do to your partner unless you talk about it first. I mean I don't expect the inverse that I can just cut my hours, even if I lowered my concept of fair to I just have to make as much in dollars per month as my partner, I wouldn't dream of just doing that unless I had like a medical need or family obligation that was the result.
TLDR my generations women suck ass at work ethic
I feel weird because I think the supposed "positives" in both choices aren't really things I'd want. I'm short (5'1"), so someone being tall is awkward and not really something I'm looking for. Never really liked the muscular look and sounds uncomfortable to cuddle with, so not really appealing either.
Hard to judge just with that. If I go with your actual picture I'd probably choose the guy on the left. He looks more playful and fun, which would be better to me. Guy on the right certainly could be nice, playful, and joke around too. But it doesn't come across in the picture.
I'd be looking for a long term relationship. Not into the idea of hooking up, especially if my options are between someone too tall for me and someone uncomfortable to lay with.
Yeah, but we're already going on coffees & lunches between lectures (she invites me to go with her). Thing is I'm not sure if she just wants to be friends or if there's something more going on. I've flirted with her before, but I'm also terrible at reading signals.
then you should escalate it a bit. if you can't read her signs, make sure she can read yours. be more flirty, touch her arm, ask her out for a proper date - you don't have to call it "date", but make sure it is not hanging out. but make sure you have a plan, i.e. you know where you want to take her (e.g. coffe, then go for a little walk), when you'll pick her up and so on. oh, and be prepared to be rejected, but then at least you know where this is going.
I have a gf and I attract a lot of women
whenever I start befriending a girl I start getting major hints they're into me
what do I do to stop it? I don't want to get on some serious talk bullshit because that jsut feels really akward
I was going over a schedule with a coworker. We were both facing each other, pretty close together, heads turned slightly towards a paper. We ran out of things to say but stayed where we were.
Is this sexual tension?
I ran into a chick 2 years my junior dec. I went to see if this lady at a university near me needed any help since I was free and it happened to be the chick's last exam day. We hit it off and ended up going ice skating about 2 weeks later. Went to a sushi place and I ended up feeding her b/c she can't into chopsticks.
I actually know her from hs and we were fiends then but I got caught up with work and shit is only now balancing out so I haven't been able to speak to her till now even though she lives real close to me.
We both want to work on/build a relationship that will last but her parents are really against her dating. Not sure why but I hope the obvious most people are shit thing.
How should I go about talking to them so they know who I am? b/c regardless of me wanting to hang out with her and such I'll also be tutoring her/helping her study since I know the majority of the material for the field she's going into. Also I'll be 21 next month so I kinda expect some bullshit regardless.
My gf's ex keeps messaging her on fb saying they should meet up. She replied 'my bf wouldn't like that' and ended up ignoring him. He keeps asking her, she said she would ignore him but I asked her to delete him off fb. She reluctantly deleted him and is now angry at me saying I am controlling (I've literally never been controlling ever in this relationship). Was my request unreasonable? Why would she be reluctant to delete him off fb?
you dont do anything and if theyre ballsy enough to ask you out, which they probably wont be, but even if they do you tell them you have a gf sorry.
and then your girlfriend wants you even more knowing others girls desire you as well
if they were that forward it would be easy
but most just be suggestive
e.g had a hickey on my neck and one girl suggested that should should put one on the other side to balance it out
kind of shocked me and i just laughed it off
how do I casually without sounding like a buzzkill that I have a gf
You are controlling. Chances are, she wasn't reluctant to delete him because of anything that he did, but because you demanded it. It's like kids who don't want to do something because their parents told them to do it.
I doubt I could deal with that kind of baggage.
What should I do with a friend who consistently ignores text plans until after the planned date/time? By the time they give their sorry "no", whatever event I had planned has ended already. I'm left hanging all the time.
why do you feel the need to disclose this? the girl is just letting you know she's interested, you don't have to pursue it. if and only if she asks you out, or asks if you have a gf do you respond with that line.
I do trust her. I just feel like the guy is being disrespectful so she should delete him. That's the thing I don't understand, his intentions are clear, why would she keep him on fb?
She asked I delete all girls I ever dated number from my phone. Which I did out of respect for her. I asked her, I didn't demand it
>muscular otter build
>able to easily flirt and make girls laugh
>only take science classes.
How the hell am I supposed to pick when at parties Im the only sober one.
>anon have a drink
>oh youre one of those guys...
There are girls who want to date me but I just want a quick lay. Not a relationship what do?
This is more for both genders I suppose. If someone that is interested in you as a lover straight up told you they suffer from recurring depression, would you even consider them from that point?
I'm with someone with depression and anxiety
and it's fucking hard
like to begin with you can empathize and support
but they're trapped in a cycle, they have problems which depress them and they cant do anything about it because they're depressed so you just watch them sort of do nothing
I think if I was a weaker person I would've walked way a while ago
Dancing, singing, arts, drugs, politics, charity work. basically any activity that is visited by women. Could also be a cooking class or yoga but Team activities are better for connecting with them.
Girls have perfected how to deal with unwanted flirting/comments. Next time someone says something like that, look slightly offended or like you just think she's being creepy.
Or something like "Haha I'll tell my girlfriend to balance it out next time." Also standard tactic, dropping in that you're taken without having some long serious talk about it.
depends where you are on the spectrum, if you cant look me in the eye or respond when we talk, you wont even have a shot.
but if you can carry a convo, understand basic personal space and have your own friends, maybe I'd see where it goes. Also I've known a few aspies, so I know it doesn't automatically make you the stereotypical "retard" for lack of a better word. A lot of people don't realize that.
So, am I like the backup plan/only girl he coukd get and thats why hes texting me after months of nothing? Srsly I am po because i'm not a fucking backup.
We were gonna meet up again to hook up when he no showd and messgs me 11pm on friday that 'work was long' i was like 'oh no :(' then i blocked him because thats a shitty lie and i dont get ivolved with idiots. That was 2 months ago and then today i get this
All of those are working ok for me, I am definitely not very far down the spectrum (still waiting for my diagnosis) but I broke up with my last GF after 2.5ys because the misunderstandings were unbearable
It was like the "men are from mars and women from venus" taken to a painfull level.
I could comfort her, when I caused a swing of emotions in her and she made up for not beeing able to talk directly to me, but in the end the substitution could not replace what was missing. Now I am looking for a woman that might be closer to the asperger spectrum herself, who might fit better. But I have never really encountered any girl like that in real life or online dating.
Do those kind of girls exist?
This is sounding more and more like she's abusive, emotionally. Do some research, please.
The masculine gender identity
Friends, clubs, internet
I cant tell if this is bait or if youre just an idiot
You want to fuck him or not? Wtf are you asking for advice about?
Do you believe if you spent a year on a dating website to no avail that it just doesn't work?
I've tried match, okcu, pof, and anonidate
the only one I actually got a date on was anonidate. should I just delete my other accounts or unsub from match?
Isn't yelling or physically hitting inanimate objects also lack of control? Anger is an emotion too. Men can be just as irrational as women, it just seems more likely men will say "well he doesn't count as a real man, he was acting like a woman!"
It's a convenient way to always be right. But if you truly "rationally" believe men have differently wired brains, you should also rationally support transexuals 100%. Because they might have been born with the wrong brain wiring, and literally have a woman's brain in a man's body. That isn't a weakness then, it is 100% biological. You don't just overcome how your brain works. And it stands to reason it could happen the opposite way too. Women could be born with a man's brain wiring.
If you don't believe it's brain wiring, then it's just assigning genders to characteristic traits and choosing the ones you like more as men, the ones you don't as women. Like rational vs emotional. And even then, it's choosing specific emotions as "bad" and picking out the ones you like as normal.
My SO developed depression and I've stayed with him for years, but I probably wouldn't knowingly enter a relationship with a person with this condition. It's horribly draining, kills our sex life, and overall makes the relationship more work when it could just be enjoyed.
He does live an hour away, and I cannot drive for medical reasons. also we've only actually met 1 time. So i'm like 'ok am i somehow that amazing that after 1 date that lasted 2 hours, and no contact for 3 months, he still wants to pursue this??'
>Men can be just as irrational as women
Some times but no where near as often.
>Isn't yelling or physically hitting inanimate objects also lack of control?
This is what crazy people do
>Anger is an emotion too.
This is a result of testosterone. Men are allowed to feel aggressive.
>well he doesn't count as a real man, he was acting like a woman!
if you understand this then why are you asking
>But if you truly "rationally" believe men have differently wired brains, you should also rationally support transexuals 100%.
> Because they might have been born with the wrong brain wiring, and literally have a woman's brain in a man's body.
>Women could be born with a man's brain wiring.
The differences stem from a brain doped up on different hormones. Estrogen vs Testosterone. Of course theres other things but this is the difference between how emotions are displayed. Trannys literally try to portray themselves as the opposite sex and take hormones. Its not the same.
>Like rational vs emotional.
Women generally have a higher 'emotional iq' than guys. Furthermore test vs est.
>And even then, it's choosing specific emotions as "bad" and picking out the ones you like as normal.
test makes men act dominant, aggressive, sometimes hostile. You as allowed emotions that support those. Crying like a woman is not one of those.
It'd be really easy for someone else to take your phone/hack your email/whatever and post them. It's no longer about trusting you, but everyone you know as well. People are getting smarter and realize the cons outweigh the pros.
I could talk to you every day for a year and still not trust you to not spread my pictures around. I might actually have sex with you and still not want to give you lewds.
I'm even reluctant to give lewds to my long term boyfriend considering how many ex-girlfriend threads I've seen.
Hmm, ok. I guess i'm too black and white about stuff and. I take a long time to make decisions but i rarely change my mind after
Thanks anon, i think i'll let this one go. Hes not what im looking for and anyway he likes panic at the disco and i just couldnt
As that friend
Hes probably a serious introvert/depressed
We make plans when we feel good
Day comes and all we want to do is hole up in our house and binge our hobby/cry
What can you do? Invite your friend to plans with a group of people, so you will hang out with them anyway.
So again, it's all biology. If men aren't acting "manly" enough, their body just isn't producing enough testosterone. It has nothing to do with strength or mindset, it's all about how much of a hormone you have in your system. Any guy acting "weak" should be seen as having a medical concern that is very easily fixable, and means nothing about him or his character.
So still irrational to label as weak, or to see not showing emotions as a "strength". But hey, we adapt and evolve over long periods of time. As people socialize more and express themselves more, maybe nature is starting to see emotions as beneficial. Some people are just still stuck on the mindset that crying = weakness because it sounds like a wounded animal and could alert predators.
>Any guy acting "weak" should be seen as having a medical concern that is very easily fixable
No one went that far. Youre just acting far outside of what is expected of you. You dont get to act like someone doped up on estrogen as a man. If you are in fact doped up on estrogen then why the fact are you. Biologically speaking its damaging to your reproductive system to be if its natural.
Theres multiple factors that go further. Men feel less pain so when a man takes an injury hes expected to tank it.
>see not showing emotions as a "strength"
emotions are for the weak men. Its expected of a man to be aggressive and doped up on testosterone because this is what test does to you.
>maybe nature is starting to see emotions as beneficial.
its been said many times that theres no longer a need for people to evolve so dont expect evolution to work based on natural adaption principles.
>crying = weakness
Its does. Its conceding to defeat. letting your emotions take control. Youre not a woman doped up on estrogen.
Its like a man lactating. It happens and its weird as shit. Usually the man has been intaking estrogen too much from things like soy which has a lot of that.
>its been said many times that theres no longer a need for people to evolve so dont expect evolution to work based on natural adaption principles.
How many threads has it been said in and which board? I've actually never heard that before.
GG but I'm done playing when it takes two seconds to google that pretty much the opposite of what you said is true.
Um...you're taking things a bit far there anon. ' testosterone does x and we should act like x' 'showing emotion is weakness', but why does it even matter now. We dont live in the jungle anymore. You can cry or dont cry it just doesn't fucking matter and you can't twist scientific shit around to suit your views of the world
You guys are being ridiculous, and fairly simple. If Matt Damon cried, no sane person would think he was weak, they'd think he was emotional. Ditto for the Rock. I swear to god, if Dwayne didn't cry after seeing a kitten get hit by a car ... that'd be far more upsetting for me.
There's nothing weak about emotions, or of men expressing them. Believing otherwise is why men commit suicide at a tremendously higher rate instead of seeking help when they're vulnerable.
Been messaging grill
Last were exchanged two days ago
They seemed shorter / blunter then usual
Arranged a meeting (as we have before) but response only Yeah sure instead of usual enthusiasm
Not sure if being aired out
Normally talk every two or three days
Should I wait or carry on
It depends on why youre crying obviously. A kitten No. Hed be laughed at for eternity for that.
>There's nothing weak about emotions, or of men expressing them
False. Men dont feel emotions the way women do. Theres no reason to cry except weakness (barring the extreme).
>Believing otherwise is why men commit suicide at a tremendously higher rate instead of seeking help when they're vulnerable.
Were you supposed to make a point. All I read were emotionally unstable people afraid to act emotional act emotionally unstable.
I'm a guy. I make a lot of money.
I'm also a generous type.
This puts me at a certain disadvantage. How can I be myself without seeming as if I'm flaunting, but also not attract someone whose feelings are not genuine?
Yesterday i didn't write my bf back after about 2pm. Simply because i haven't had a single minute to myselfe and the moment i got into bed i fell into coma. We usually text very sparsely and we both take half a day to answer from time to time, so longer periods of no text are common. As soon as i woke up tis morning i wrote him, explaining that i had a very busy day and fell asleep as soon as i could. He did rext back in the afternoon, but his answer was very "one answer"-style and had a rather cold undertone. Is he mad? What should i do? Did i do something extremely wrong? I know i should have took the one minute to atleast send a good night text, but still...
What do you mean by generouse?
My bf's a bit like you and i definitely don't date him because of his money.
He's simply the most lovely and attentive guy ever that happens to make good money. I guess you will have to use your ability to read people... A good indicator would be if they pay for stuff too. I don't have a lot of money, but that surely doesn't keep e from spending some on him. I might not be able to spend as much as he does, but i still try.
Is shyness considered the biggest turn off to most girls?
I literally feel like I could be ugly, fat, smelly and dumb and still had better relations with girls just because of being more confident. Damn, I even know real life examples of such guys.
I've been even approached by girls several times, but as soon as they noticed that I'm shy and not witty from the begginning, they would lose interest immiedietly. If every girl is like that, I wiil never find one because they"ll never even give me the chance to beat my shyness. I also don't have this problem when talking with males - I always had at least few good male friends and not even one female friend, ever.
Never admit that. I didnt get a girl till I was 19. Lied about everything. Said I was a virgin though but that I had done everything else.
Dont categorize yourself but the kissless virgin group even if you are. Just lie and say you arent. First kiss was awkward as hell but I just copied her form and picked it up relatively quickly and she only laughed a little.
Yes. Guys have to be confident. Youre competing with 10 guys for 1 girl. not the other way around.
Girls end up picking the bad guy because they are more fun to be around. You could be a great person but are you really fun to be around to a girl.
If you like someone and they didn't give the best sexual performance would you still stay with them ladies?
I'm currently having some dick problems from some medicine I've been using and I'm waiting for it to blow over so I can give it to her proper...
Thats what I sort of figured. I'm only 25 right now, but by the time I graduate secondary school and start my job (lawyer) I'll be 27. I imagine that regardless of how I look or my personality, it raises serious issues as to what I've done in the past and why I've never dated.
Well if you arranged a date, just wait until the day and go on the date. She might send you off or maybe even just look bored on the date. Or she might enjoy it! You will know where to go after that
I have. But more chubby than fat, really. If you are acutally obese, I'd recommend losing weight if you are young and in the dating scene. Harsh reality, sorry.
Personally, I would. And I would appreciate the honesty as well. It really depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for.
It is true that it would be a deal breaker for some women, so lying would overall be the statistically better choice.
But is that really the kind of relationship/girlfriend you want?
There are plenty of shy guys on this planet. Most people end up in relationships at some point in their lives. Most people in my company are married in their mid-30s. That includes all those shy ones.
Just pretend like you have. Girls will wonder why you never have and assume something is wrong.
My girl kept questioning why I was still a virgin. I told her I didnt want sex until marriage which was true and she thought that was cute and let it go. Ended up banging anyways though.
You are me, I even thought this lost is what exactly I wanted to write. I can't overcome my shyness, it seems like I get an invisible barrier in front of me and at some point I even starte to fear the relationships, because my confidence has always lead me to fail.
Maybe it will help you. For me, it didn't.
That's sort of what I was thinking. I realize that >>16676601 has the more practical advice, but I really don't want to have to lie to someone about something so stupid like that. Besides, I feel that if the relationship did progress anywhere, it would eventually come out (definitely through one of my family members making a joke) that the person I'm with is my first girlfriend. I don't want someone to think that I'm a habitual liar
If she is your gf EVERYTHING is allowed, as long as it's positive comments.
If she's not your gf use common sense. Don't talk about her vagina. Saying "You have a very attractive figure" should still be fine with 99% of women though.
I'm my boyfriends first girlfriend and he's 29 and I'm 27. There's NOTHING wrong with him at all.
I've never seen this as a problem. I also suspect, he has simply been very bad at reading the signs as I also think he is very handsome.
I hope that helps.
It's better to have a specific event you want to attend.
It can also be something like "I've heard good things about the Indian restaurant down the road. Would you want to go with me?"
A non-specific question to simply go out will sound heavier than it is and she might say no based on that.
Basically, it's the tension that builds up when both know there's something sexual going on and it's only a matter of time until somebody escalates things. For example when you sit on the couch, watching a movie, your legs touch and you would like to just make out like maniacs. She would be dtf but your friends are still lurking. That's sexual tension. A rather obvious one, but still
Alright I have a question for girls if there are any who want to read the following pile of text:
I had a crush on a girl in uni, first time I ever really had a crush on anyone my age who I could talk to. Just before Christmas break I start talking to her. She's really friendly too me, we flirt quite a lot, she starts the conversations with me, smiles a lot, more or less tells me she likes sitting with me in lectures and stuff.
We go on Christmas break, she invites me to do a bunch of stuff with her once we get back. In fact we even sit watching a show in her room on her bed UNDER A BLANKET for 4 hours.
I stupidly tell her at this point that she was my only good friend on the course. That seems to deject her a little bit. All throughout the week we don't talk, she doesn't show me any interest at all any more.
We wouldn't see each other for another 2 weeks after this week and she doesn't want to meet alone again (always says she's busy at whatever I suggest). I get frustrated and tell her how I feel via text. She rejects me brutally, tells me she's aromantic.
I don't think that's true though, I definitely think there was a time where she did like me. All in all we were 'friends' for about 2 months or so, maybe longer and I had a crush all that time. Did I wait too long to ask her out? What mistake did I make?
I posted my question in it's own thread, but it's dying with 1 reply and I think this thread might get my question some more exposure. In my defence I really, really want to know the answer.
My boyfriend's put on a bit of weight in the relationship. I'm finding myself staring at his belly more often and he doesn't want to do missionary anymore. He's said he wants to lose weight and has had a gym membership for a year that he hasn't used once. I know exactly where his weight gain is coming from and I could go to the gym with him and help him fix his eating in no time.
However, I feel horrible for it. I keep finding mismatched couples (fit girlfriend, fat boyfriend) and thinking "See, they're not a bitch. They're okay with it, why can't you be?". Plus I was fat going into the relationship and I lost weight throughout. Wouldn't this make me a hypocrite?
Would you want your girlfriend to butt into your life and help you with diet and exercise or would you see it as too pushy and bitchy?
Depends completely on the guy.
Me, personally, I''ve been pretty fit most of my life, but am starting to pack on a bit of weight (I'm still skinny, but def becoming skinny fat) so fuck yeah. It'd give me the extra motivation to drag my ass to the gym, join another martial art, or start a new sport and keep doing it (plus, I know my my gf has wanted to lose some weight for a while anyway, pushing her while she pushes me would just give me more motivation in general).
But that's just me.
I got married when I was 20. My wife died in a motorcycle accident when we were both 22. I'm now 27 and am ready to date, but I still do love my deceased wife very much.
If you (female) got involved with a widow, would you be understanding if he visited his deceased's grave every now and then? If he was active in her family's lives?
I'd want a girlfriend who stands up for her preferences instead of silently stewing in resentment for my not having fulfilled them. I'd also want a girlfriend who is proactive on that topic and willing to contribute toward what she wants. Don't just "could" your way through this. Do. Do go to the gym, do stock the fridge(s) with good food, etc. And no, this doesn't make you a hypocrite. You're attracted to what attracts you. I liked slim girls when I was fat too. It had nothing to do with me apart from my own dissatisfaction with my own body.
A guy I've been crushing on for a year, and talking with for ~1 month asked me on a date a few days ago but he was too busy to go (got called in to work, I believe him). We rescheduled but that day I was too busy. I had a genuine reason but I guess it looked like I flaked because he hasn't texted me since when he usually texts a few times a week. When he texts we flirt a bit, talk about personal stuff, make jokes and get along really well.
I'm scared I lost him or that he isn't interested any more.
Guys, when you like a girl, how quickly can you lose interest? If this were you, what would you think?
What do I do iyo?
Both genders, do you believe in the zodiac signs stuff? Not horoscopes, but the personality descriptions based on your star sign.
My cousin is really into it and she can draw up some really accurate descriptions of us, and guess what people are like and for it to turn out true. And it doesn't seem like confirmation bias.
It wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, though I'm sure it could be for some.
I find shy cute. I like shy guys. However, I might not get the message that you're interested depending on how shy you are.
Guys AND girls:
1. What race/color are you?
2. What religion (if any)?
3. Would you date anyone of another race/religion, why/why not?
4. How much shit would your parents/family give you for it?
Putting myself in his shoes, there might be two things running through my mind. The first is, yeah, you flaked. I missed a date and now you're doing it too just to balance some bullshit power dynamic. I hate those games so I'd lose interest. The other is that you were legitimately busy, which makes us both somewhat busy people. I know that busy people need love too but our schedules don't seem to lend enough combined reliability here. Imagine what our future dating plans will look like. It could take us months to have even a handful of dates that stick. I know it sucks because I'm half of the problem here, but what that means is that I need to date someone with a very flexible schedule. I can't date someone like me. Literally. We'd always fail to keep the date.
I think the way to resolve both of those is to reach out to him ASAP with a date invitation that's as casual and flexible as you can make it. Try to mitigate the chances of failure. Above all, demonstrate sincere enthusiasm. You should be chasing him as hard as he chases you. (I know that makes no sense with the word chase.)
Nope, it's bullshit. Are you telling me that everyone born within a certain one month period all have similar personalities? Because I know for a fact that it's not true
Why can't you ask him out?
A guy who wants that can fuck off. I have male friends, and if a guy can't trust me then I don't want to date him
That's really not something I'd want to deal with, if I'm being honest
Agnostic, raised as Hindu
Sure, I'm doing so now
Some, but they're slowly getting over it. Extended family doesn't know yet, but I don't really care what they think because I'm not close with them
dood, chill. the fact that youve even had a relationship and kept it for so long, most likely means you'll do fine finding another girl.
i could be wrong about this, but i think Aspergers in females presents itself differently. if also you and your ex couldn't communicate, why would another person with poor communication skills be any better? sure she may understand where you are coming from but it isn't a solution in the slightest.
idk, maybe go for a super damaged girl that will listen and empathize and try to work.
I'm a white atheist guy who has dated all sorts of women. No black girls yet though, but I have nothing against the idea. My family would have all sorts of shit to say but that's why I don't involve them in my business. They can do whatever they want and I'll do whatever I want.
>Are you telling me that everyone born within a certain one month period all have similar personalities?
Surely not, but from experience a lot of people share certain characteristics that are from the same sign.
Also your personality depends on a lot of other factors. It's not just star sign, but other things like the alignments of the planets on that specific hour you were born. That's what my cousin says anyway.
Logic says it's false, but it's still fun to think about.
Not really. My gf does (and can do the same thing as your cousin) though. I just think whatever and kind of roll my eyes whenever she says shit like, "Oh of course he does, he's a scorpio".
It's not that bad though.
I once went on a date with a girl who in the first 15 minutes asked what I was, and her response was, "I've never slept with a asian or an aquarius before". aaaand I was just like... Yup. Time to bounce.
non-religious but raised Protestant Christian
Nah, my boyfriend is the same as me (except raised catholic) and I love it. I think it makes us very compatible and I'm very attracted to all of that.
My parents would probably only have a problem if I dated someone who was vehemently against Christianity and Christian ways, like a practicing Muslim, satanist, or militant atheist.
>from experience a lot of people share certain characteristics that are from the same sign
One of the most introverted people I know is a Leo. One of the most extroverted people I know is also a Leo. Being extroverted is supposed to be a hallmark of a Leo.
My dad's a Virgo and is super disorganised. I'm a Virgo and I'm super organised. Being organised is supposed to be one of Virgo's main traits.
See what I mean? In my experience, it's absolute bullshit. I agree it can be fun, but don't take it too seriously.
I would have no problem with being with a widowed man as long. My only fear would be of being constantly compared to the previous wife, and I doubt you would feel the need to do that (at least out loud).
The idea that a woman would have a problem with you visiting your deceased wife's grave is horrible to me, and regardless of their relationship to your deceased wife's family, it would be wrong for someone to ask you to disconnect from people who support you.
Don't be afraid that we'll be heartless!
What traits are women biologically attracted to? Physical? Social? I'm aware culture influences attraction to an extent, however I'm curious to what draws a women to a man on a deep biological level.
I honestly didn't understand what you were asking. I don't have backups or exes, and I don't regularly talk to any guys other than my boyfriend. Of course I have male friends, but they are all his friends too, and he's even closer to them than I am. Ultimately my boyfriend is my absolute best friend.
So you can definitely find someone like that, but she'd have to do it out of her own volition. I don't think that's something you can ask of someone who doesn't already. I doubt that would go well.
The thing is, we really can't give you an answer.
It is possible that you waited too long, of course. It's similar to arranging dates. If you ask someone to meet you tomorrow, they'll likely agree.
If you ask someone to meet you in one week, they have one week to mentally dissect all the reasons why they shouldn't go and why it's not going to work out anyway, etc.
So there's a chance she had so much time to rationalize that dating you is a bad idea (maybe because she sees herself as aromantic, etc.) that she basically talked herself out of liking you.
But there's also a chance that she never did have romantic feelings for you and then realized that you might have those feelings for her and thus decided to put some distance between the two of you as she didn't want to friendzone you.
There's a chance it's something completely different. I know it's not easy but unless she directly tells you, you'll never be able to do anything else than speculate.
I'm a white female. I'm areligious, but was raised in a protestant home.
I've dated black and hispanic guys before, but am currently dating a white guy. Never really had religion brought up. Race doesn't really matter, but I think I would find compatability problems with certain religions. I'm not 100% against the idea though, if I really liked a religious person I would give them a chance.
My family is from the southern US, and while I'm sure my parents wouldn't care, my grandparents would lose their shit if they found out. Luckily I don't care.
Strong, dominant. Confident, assertive. It shows signs that you can provide for a girl and her family (theory of evolutionary psychology).
This might sound a bit weird but what I find so attractive a man is how despite their complete capability to kill me with just his bare hands, he chooses to protect and love me.
So it's normal for a woman to have beta orbiters, male friends i don't know much about and exes that she used to do.. And masturbates to porn while proly thinking about someone else... can't really get over that...
>1. What race/color are you?
Mix. Half-asian half-latino.
>2. What religion (if any)?
>3. Would you date anyone of another
race/religion, why/why not?
Sure, aesthetically just tend not to be attracted to african-american girls in general and also I hate most Chicana and korean girl's personalities (there are exceptions though.)
My girlfriend is some weird mexican/indian/white mix that I have no idea (amusingly she speaks better Korean than me though--all dem K-dramas)
>4. How much shit would your parents/family give you for it?
Absolutely none I'd think. Would be kinda hypocritical of them, but then I think the one thing that I could think of that would on some level make my mom squeamish is if I brought a black girl home (she's Korean). It's kind of funny, she tries to be super liberal and open minded, but I could tell she was kind of squeamish about it the first few times she met my best friend (who is a lesbian).
Basically what >>16676901 says. My social psychology textbook said statistically people end up marrying other people that are similar to them in attractiveness, height (obviously in relation to gender) and social status.
That's really not a surprise but maybe it needs to be said in case you visit boards like /r9k/ that say only 5% of men have any chance to have sex with the bottom 5% of women anyway.
I am a Slavic immigrant in Germany and my boyfriend (we're 29, so marriage is likely at this point) is German.
We are 8 children.
My sisters all married Slavic men. My brothers are all in relationships with German girls.
I think it's quite interesting that it's totally cool for men to date outside of their culture but when girls do it, the family becomes a bit uneasy.
My grandparents who don't live in Germany are very unhappy with me but have no problems with my brothers.
How to convince Eastern European parents to let me be with a (not really practicing) Muslim guy?
My parents are against Muslims in general. My country hates them and they're constantly making racist comments when they hear about Muslims on tv or the newspaper, good or bad news.
I fell for literally their nightmare! He's not practicing, he's just sort of raised into a Muslim family but is atheist/agnostic. He's just a good regular guy but I know they'll be furious just because of his name/religion.
Once-Muslim apostate here. Oh man, I have NEVER had a good experience dating a girl whose parents were staunch anti-Muslim. Mind you I just said that I've long abandoned the religion and spit at its name. Still I got so much bullshit. It's like I had the mark of the devil tattooed on my forehead.
You either never tell them or, in truth, just move on from this guy. At least that's what I can say in my experience. Fuck me it was such a nightmare every time. They just wouldn't get out of these girls' ears and it spoiled everything.
I should also add that I'm over 18 but still live under their roof, and family is important where I'm from. We live in England though.
What a shame. Where was she from?
For the ladies:
Shaved dick and balls or trimmed/wild?
Strong and muscly or skinny with a round ass?
Shaved legs a turn off or a turn on?
Is feminzing a very fringe fetish? Am I doomed to have to be manly to get a girl? (Not a trap btw)
(DISCLAMER: i'm an austrian guy, english isnt my first language)
I had a crush on this girl 3 years ago. Back then I used to be an awkward fck around girls and since she was (and still is) pretty shy we just left it at that and lost contact.
About a month ago i coincidentaly met her on the train with a bunch of her uni-coleagues and we talked about stuff, made each other laugh and had a really good time.
So she gave me her number and we texted... alot. She made it super clear she likes me (she constantly sent me pics of her and we flirted and all) but everytime i ask her to hang out or go somewhere together (cinema, zoo, etc.) she says she is either busy, too tired or generally dodges out of it.
This went on for 2 weeks until we arranged to meet up on new years eve with all our friends and go out drinking. Her friends turned up and she stayed at home. I didnt text her ever since a few days after that.
I know she is super shy but how do I handle this? Any suggestions?
Yes. I literally have always just wanted a home with my own family. Preferably all males. Sons and a husband. Be able to go to every little league game, school event, or meeting. Always make sure they are happy and not worried about little things.
Its pretty common nowadays. The shitty part time moms are usually women that feel like they had to have children and dont actually want them. More women being upfront about not wanting kids is pretty respectable and awesome to me. It breaks my heart to see a kid that knows they aren't wanted or feels like a burden. Get with the times.
tall and skinny.
usually their movements and speech is very feminine if its obvious
Just ask her then?
Stop talking to them or be really clear without direct that you aren't interested in them. Like talk about how you'd never cheat on your girlfriend and think people that do are pretty shitty. She'll get the hint.
I don't think so not if he knew she had a bf and it made you uncomfortable but he continued to pursue her anyways. Just reassure her its not that you don't trust her but that he is being a bit too pushy for you to be comfortable with. Then ask how she would feel if the situation was reversed.
yeah I dont usually have sex until I have been seeing someone and if they arent particularly great its not as important as liking them. Good sex can be learned.
She made it super clear that she likes your ATTENTION. Nothing is clear about her liking your COMPANY. Do you think a relationship can survive on attention? Have your parents spent years giving attention to each other? No, they spent years TOGETHER. In person. In each other's company.
It doesn't matter if she's shy or not. What's more important is that you have self-respect. Why are you so focused on a person who cannot give you what you're looking for? Don't tell me that you're sure she can. She surely cannot. Look at this story.
>Shaved dick and balls or trimmed/wild?
>Strong and muscly or skinny with a round ass?
Strong and muscley. I lift though so I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't. It's a once you go muscular guy, you don't go back sort of thing.
>Shaved legs a turn off or a turn on?
Turn off. Trim if you're too hairy, but if you're a man be a man.
>Is feminzing a very fringe fetish? Am I doomed to have to be manly to get a girl? (Not a trap btw)
There's a match for every fetish. Personally I like manly guys tho.
So i have a female friend. I developed feelings for her. I told her and her response was that she cares about me, but isn't looking for a relationship at all right now.
I kinda want to ask out of curiosity if she was open to dating in general, if she would date me. How should I ask this? It's like one of those things I just want to know. I like her a ton. But I just want to know if I should turn off any hope that I have for a relationship for her, and just set myself into a friendzone mindset. So I want to ask if she likes me like that, just doesn't want any sort of commitment thing.
>How should I ask this?
You don't. You don't know if her response was a way of letting you down gently, and asking her would put both of you in an awkward position. Keep the autism to yourself.
Yep, seen it happen.
You don't need to ask her. The answer is obvious. If she liked you A LOT, she would be open to dating you anyway even if that isn't part of her life plan at this moment.
What she means is "I'm not looking for an average relationship right now".
That hurts.. I would rather just hear the truth. Like, she's always texting me. Nonstop. We skyped for 4 hours today. And she is just overall very caring toward me.
I'm gonna suggest you to ask her, very explicitly, if she likes you/will ever date you, then you will know. People are gonna call this bad advice, but what's worse than rejection is uncertainty. At least when you know you have no chance you can move on. But when you are uncertain you might want to move on, or know it's for the best, but don't because of that possibility that you still have a chance.
Girls can be confusing. Sometimes I can click with a guy and want to talk with him for hours but don't have romantic feelings for him.
>uncertainty is worse then rejection
That's how I feel. I would rather just tell me "look, I really care about you. But I don't like you in that sense". I would much rather that then not know the truth. I will still be as much of a friend to her as I am now regardless of the answer. But not knowing is like eating me inside in a sense I guess.
>1. What race/color are you?
>2. What religion (if any)?
>3. Would you date anyone of another race/religion, why/why not?
Yes, Im dating an asian girl
>4. How much shit would your parents/family give you for it?
They know her and they seem to love her
Young men: will this work?
Can I post an ad asking for just hugs and cuddling? I just want love without being friends or sex or anything lewd. I don't want to be friends because I realized I have nothing to offer. Nothing to step up to the plate with. Nobody could ever want me. And I have a lot of issues that I'd rather not burden anyone with. I can't take care of dogs. No time/spare money for them. And I don't like cats.
So, I just want to hug with boys or a boy. Unfortunately because I spend virtually all of my free time in solitary confinement (like when I'm not working), I fall in love super easy. Like all you have to do is be nice and friendly to me and I'll fall for you hard. I don't have a lot of real relationship experience.
im sad to say that I bring this up because things aren't going too well with my LDR boyfriend. We're seeing each other less and less as time goes on. But I'm so loyal to him that I'm basically saving myself for him, for when we meet, but we're both suffering greatly. Finally, something that sets me off is when I think I'm being ignored. I'll go apeshit with depression if I think he's ignoring me because I don't like to be alone.
So yeah I just want to hug... I hope it's not cheating, sorry... Can I ask that the boy have a certain facial hair arrangement?
From experience, you'll probably still be uncertain and question things anyway. Closure is a myth.
But if you feel like this is something you gotta do for you, go for it. Just don't trick yourself in to thinking it will bring you "closure"
I'm worried that when I'll finish high school my social life will die completely. The 90% of all social life I have now happens on school breaks and non-strict lessons. How do I make my social life not die?
I hardly ever go to any parties and I don't even like them, I just like talking and shits and giggles. I'm going to study at university of technology, so I suppose there won't be many girls and not many occasions to talk with people. Living outside the house isn't the case because I'm living close to this university, so my parents won't allow me to live somewhere else, it would have no sense.
tl;dr How do you socialize in your twenties if you don't like parties?
that's kind of strange to me. Um, I don't think I'd just want to hug a girl I don't know. It would be awkward for me to cuddle with a girl that I don't have a connection with. But maybe you can find some people who will
What you think will happen won't necessarily happen. If I rejected a guy using that line and he pressed me to admit I didn't want to go out with him, I'd start distancing myself in case I was leading him on or in case he started to get hope that he had a chance. You're not the only player in this situation
I hear you. So what do you suggest I do if I don't ask her? It's hard for me to just turn my feelings off from her. And like I said, she's always talking to me. So I'm not going to ignore her
Guys 20-25, what meals would impress you? Want to cook for a guy but don't know what would be best. I guess I'm looking for simple but not so simple that he thinks I took 3 minutes to make it.
Uhhh... If you were someone I knew and just asked for a hug, sure no problems. Not sure I'd respond to an anonymous ad though... Maybe someone would?
Honestly, I'm not sure a "hug" is all you're asking for, and I'm not sure anyone responding to an ad for a "hug" would just want to give you JUST a "hug".
You obviously need to work on yourself and on your issues, because you are the most important person in your own life, and without liking and taking care of yourself, it's hard for other people to get close to you.
You sound lonely anon. Hugs won't change that. Fix the things that will.
Oh believe me, I care about her feelings a ton. It's just, I feel really confused. Like when we skyped she could tell I was really tired cause I worked all night and slept like shit. So after we got off Skype she texted me "I want you to go get some sleeeeeeeeeppp!! Please! You need it! If I was there, I'd cuddle you to sleep! :) "
She told me that she doesn't want a relationship in general right now. But she talks to me like that. She cares about me, but this is confusing for me. And she doesn't know it, but it's playing with my emotions.
I get that you care about her. But pressing her about whether she'd be open to dating you in the future is not going to preserve your friendship. Take what she said as a solid no for now, and if she ever opens up to the idea of being in a relationship later on, ask her out again. Give her the benefit of the doubt that she's telling the truth, but don't put both of you in a potentially awkward position.
/soc/ meet up threads
If you post on Tinder, guys will want sex
If you post on Craigslist, weirdos will message you
If you post on POF/Okcupid. Both of both worlds.
That varies. But i think it would be very nice if a girl made me Meatloaf with gravy, mashed potatoes and corn. There's tons of foods Tbh. It depends on what that individual likes. But the one thing I think all of us will agree on is if you can Bake. Then you're golden.
All guys like Cake, Cookies, and Brownies
I hear you. How exactly will I be able to tell though he's opening with the idea? Like her saying she wants to cuddle me to sleep but not looking for dating right now is conflicting to me at least. Then again I've never had a real female friend. So maybe girls just love to cuddle with everyone
Most guys will be impressed with a steak or burgers I'd think.
Personally, I'm a foodie who can cook (Like my version of that that i've cooked, is grass-fed prime rib roast beef and bulgogi burgers with homemade kimchi slaw), but even so, I'm just happy if girlfriend cooked me anything really (my girlfriend once just made me a quesadilla out of left overs out of the fridge one random morning and I was happy)
Unless your boyfriend is an asshole, It's the thought and effort that counts more than anything else.
Food that you had to make from ingredients, rather than pouring sauce A onto pouch B. It doesn't need to get too crazy; there's no need to roll pasta from scratch. Just break out a knife, a cutting board and some basic ingredients to make the food happen. Create rather than simply assembling.
Girls, is being literally 6'5 with broad shoulders and a semi-deep voice going to work against me by intimidating girls?
Because I remember last semester I got 15 girls numbers and not one of them was ever responsive over text or phone, even though I wore nice clean clothes, showered every day, brushed, flossed, and didn't act like a sperg while talking to them.
Like this guy >>16677171 said, a hug won't fix your loneliness. It will make it worse because it will give you a taste of what you're missing.
>I realized I have nothing to offer.
You do. Company, laughter, understanding, etc, is something every person can offer.
>Nobody could ever want me.
There are lots of people who will want you, unless you are severely disordered or a bad person.
>I have a lot of issues that I'd rather not burden anyone with.
I have seen people fall for and be with someone who has issues. From the way you're talking, is it depression? Anxiety? Me too, but there are people who still want to be with me and be my friend. Be willing to accept help and love, be kind and honest, and someone who will always want you.
> I can't take care of dogs. No time/spare money for them. And I don't like cats.
Millions of people feel the same. It's not required for a relationship.
Thank you all for talking to me. I realized my pipe dream. There is a lot in me that needs to be fixed. Sorry. I hate talking about myself. I'll come back later. I always use this trip if I post so you'll know it's me
You sound really self-deprecating and depressed. I used to be EXACTLY like that to the t.
I can't tell you to just lighten up and go meet people because I know how hard that is. But start with realizing that despite your flaws/problems, temporary or not, you're not a lost case.
If they were actually willing to seek help for it and not just use me as a teddy bear when they're sad.
I don't know. Consider that one of my closest friends is Belorussian Orthodox. I get along wonderfully with his entire family. They don't make negative assumptions about me because of my heritage or former beliefs. Evidently it's not a mandate in the faith to hate on me, especially not when I'm sitting at their table eating ham and drinking wine.
I really don't believe the problem those aforementioned families had was that I'm a camelfucker in denial or something. I'm a white dude born and raised American. My name might as well be John Smith for all it matters. No, I'm quite sure the problem was simply that I wasn't like them specifically. They looked down on everyone who wasn't from precisely their background and their heritage. Everyone else, no matter how white or heretical or westernized, could only be at best an impostor. Religion could probably do just fine if xenophobia would disappear, but I'm not sure those two ideas are wholly compatible anyway.
>guy and a girl on a date
You have a crush on each other, you can feel the sexual tension, flirting, etc
>guy and a girl hanging out
It will feel much more relaxed, because it's a friendly meeting. None of that sexual tension. Attempts at flirting unsuccessful or shot down.
You can usually just feel it when it's a "date" even if you don't call it that.
Maybe part of why you get along better with his family because he's a guy. Parents are usually more critical of the people their daughters date as opposed to sons.
> I'm quite sure the problem was simply that I wasn't like them specifically. They looked down on everyone who wasn't from precisely their background and their heritage. Everyone else, no matter how white or heretical or westernized, could only be at best an impostor.
Shit, this sounds exactly like my parents.
Look for women at places gold-diggers would never go. Hide your wallet's power level. Wear shit from walmart when you go.
Try volunteer work at different places/times till you find some with qts. Go to interest groups for w/e you are interested in, even if you only end up going for a few months, and play the field there. Don't bring them to your place until you know them well enough. And take transit if you have an above middle class car.
as long as you dont hide behind not dating and feel ashamed about it. just be like: 'the right person never came along.... untill now'
Meh, he and his siblings date all over the place too. Perhaps they're really great at hiding their dirty laundry but I think it's more likely that they're just not asses about it. They're proud of their heritage but respect everyone who respects theirs in turn. Pretty simple stuff.
>Shit, this sounds exactly like my parents.
I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck trying to not get stuck in their Tolstoy-esque delusions about class and culture.
Cheating is all about agreements. Would your boyfriend be surprised and upset if he found out? Then it's probably considered cheating to him.
The issue here is that you will fall for your cuddle buddy. There is no way around that. And when you have someone here in the physical realm for you, are you going to want to stay with your concept of a boyfriend?
>I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck trying to not get stuck in their Tolstoy-esque delusions about class and culture.
Literally the only people they like are others from our country, Germans and Russians.
They hold so many stereotypes. All they need to know is someone's name and they can diss that person so brutally. Just obliterate them with their retarded stereotypes. I feel scared to bring anyone home.
So jelly of my English friends or friends with westernized parents. Would be so happy if mine weren't so old fashioned.
>So maybe girls just love to cuddle with everyone
Some girls do. When I was younger and less socially aware, I would cuddle my male friends along with the female ones. Now I know it causes confusion like you're having, so I don't anymore.
I miss platonic cuddles. But I suppose they were never as platonic as I thought they were.
Your friend might be similarly socially incompetent.
What about guy and girl walking through a beautiful, historic city, laughs and joking with each other. just like pic related. Then when we parted ways, we hugged, I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. When I released the hug she gave me a adorable smile, pulled me back in and held a kiss on my cheek for about 2-3 seconds. Then released, smiled and waved and walked off.
That was our first time meeting IRL. She adores me, but that was a hangout to her as far as I know..
I'm a guy, I was taking walks with this girl, I don't really had anything to talk about but she talked all the time about how evil her ex was, a stalker psycho or something, also some stuff about her brother being addicted to video games, that he supposedly got anxiety disorder because of them. We also did some writing over the internet, that's where we arranged walks.
Did she liked me?
Arm and arm with an extended cheek kiss at the end? If she didn't consider that a date, she really needs to talk to some of us girls who have learned how to avoid confusing a guy.
I think the real question is: are the girls you find interesting interested in shy guys.
Analyze yourself and find out what that shyness is from? Is it that by the time you think up something to say, the time to say it has passed? Are you afraid of them? Some mean girl traumatize you when you were a kid?
Keep analyizing that shyness and find out -why- it's there. Whatever that small thing is, work it like a muscle, to either get good at what you're bad at, or to overcome w/e the obstacle is.
>I missed a date and now you're doing it too just to balance some bullshit power dynamic.
I'm scared he's thinking that, I hate playing games and have tried to avoid that. He just replied with an "ok" to my "flake" message so I done fucked up I guess.
He is extremely busy and so am I, but our schedules are compatible enough.
>Why can't you ask him out?
Scared he'll think I'm desperate or something, or that he's moved on and he'll shoot the offer down.
>The US, why?
Where in the US?
If you were in France or Italy, the kisses could be normal. I'd also consider them different in Big East Coast Cities vs Deep South vs Casual West Coast
That invisible barrier is the fear of failure.
The only way past it is to fail without fearing the fail. Every time you fear it enough to stop going through with it, that invisible wall gets bigger. And everytime you hate yourself or the wall when you try anyways and still fail, gues what, it still gets bigger. Just expect to fail, but give it an honest attempt anyway, knowing you will fail but pay attention to why you failed instead of just blaming the universe for cursing you with fails. Pay attention. review the mistake and then practice with the aim of removing that one mistake. Do this again for each mistake untill you get to the level where you can laugh off mistakes. When you can turn awkward into funny, mistakes are your friend.
Maybe, if you tower over them. But I don't think girls would reject you for that. Girls sometimes give their numbers to guys just for the sake of it and don't plan on texting them.
Or like >>16677399 said, if she's short she might find it inconvenient. Get yourself a tall chick!
It's not on guys to not want sex constantly, its on girls to get with the program and feel the same.
Used to be this was enforced with raw strength and legal systems whether the girls agreed or not, now all the guys are cucked, so maybe someday.
Considering it's sad that they're unlikely to ever change--if living in England hasn't opened their minds, what would?--then your happiness might have to be a compromise which doesn't favor your parents for a change. Again speaking only from my experience, I got along with those girls pretty damn well outside the influence of this retarded mindset. Maybe it's just the honeymoon period talking but I saw a lot of potential. I knew what their families refused to believe, that we had fully compatible values and perspectives. I don't have to be Ukrainian or Catholic to respect their ways of living. A culture with which I'm no longer affiliated also doesn't burden me with untenable demands. It could totally work.
But that doesn't matter to their families and probably not to yours as well. To them disaster is an inevitability, the stain of inferior cultures is genetic and the cause of any problem is self-evident. But if you acquiesce to that, even in the smallest degree, that is what will stand in the way of your happiness. You don't have to let them linger where even their judgments will influence your future so negatively.
I have to be the one to say this to you because the guy you've fallen for cannot. To even say this to you would "prove them right," demonstrating that he really does want to tear you away from your family and steal you away to Raqqa to forcibly birth the next generation of ISIS fighters. They could even say the same of me but I can take it. I'm not the one who's at risk of throwing up his hands and nope-ing the fuck out of there because your family are bigots.
What can happen is that life depicts art. When media says men act this way, a guy might look at that and say, "This is how I'm supposed to act."
I know several guys who pretend to be tough uncaring players, but they cry from a breakup just as easily as anyone else.
Well the average guy is 5'10, and I think the average girl is 5'4
So I'm pretty damn tall, I might be 6'4 though, either '4 or '5 but it doesn't really make a difference.
>Girls sometimes give their numbers to guys just for the sake of it and don't plan on texting them.
I fucking hate that, just tell me "no" instead of leading me on.
>inb4 a bunch of reasons why your too chicken shit to do it
If you girls expect us to be straight up with you and out right ask for numbers and dates and shit, then you need to be straight up with us and not bullshit us when we do.
White/black (I look 100% white)
christian upbringing, i believe in good, but no religion now
> Would you date anyone of another race/religion, why/why not?
Race, hell yeah. I am with an azn girl now.
Religion? Meh, the more serious they were about it, the more inclined to No i would say.
> How much shit would your parents/family give you for it?
None, already broke away from my very religious family. My parent and I are already black sheep.
I'm 5'4 and my ideal man would be anywhere between 5'9 to 6'2, more would be too tall.
So that gives a 4-5 inch window. For you, you'd have to look for a 5'9-6'0 girl I guess. Congratulations. Your kids are going to love you for being so tall.
Now is this avoidance of super tall guys just a person thing that you two have or is it common amongst other girls?
Because if so that would explain the majority of my rejections.
>I think the real question is: are the girls you find interesting interested in shy guys.
Of course I'm dreaming of those wonderful, popular girls, but I would be cool with any girl. I'm not even talking about dating, just about having ANY contact with them at all.
> Is it that by the time you think up something to say, the time to say it has passed?
Yes, I generally have problem with talking fun things from the very beggining. It still doesn't explain why have I developed good relations with guys.
>Are you afraid of them? Some mean girl traumatize you when you were a kid?
No. I just can't connect any positive feelings with them, because all I always got was disappointment and unfullfilled lust. I always felt underestimated by them as a miserable, shy and poor boy, not worth of any interest. Maybe I have partly became a misogynist now.
Women love tall men, but not too tall. We don't want to feel like children when out with you, and we want to be able to kiss you without having to get a ladder or jump up.
You're probably not getting rejected because of your height though.
All of the female friends I've ever had have been above average height for women, who are thrilled to find a guy that is taller even when she is wearing heels, so I don't really know.
>We don't want to feel like children when out with you
Shit see that's exactly how I view most women, physically speaking, it's like I'm around a bunch of kids, and even the guys are more like younger teenagers (physically) relative to me.
>You're probably not getting rejected because of your height though.
>Most women don't want me because of my height
Well which is it?
Occasionally I run into a person who has watched enough Fox News and YouTube to have heard the word "taqqiya." It's this doctrine in Islam where all manner of deceit is permissible toward an enemy in external jihad. That includes violating any and all tenets of the faith to keep up appearances. So naturally those people insist that I'm still a Muslim who is just putting on a show to infiltrate western society and bury their daughters in burqas.
And yes, this comes about because of my name. I make no secret of my ethnicity anyway.
Height is not such a big dealbreaker. It might mean a bit to some, but there are probably other factors in why you're not getting these girls. Never have I heard a girl say "I don't want him, he's too tall."
Also girls are massive flakes. It might just be them not you.
This girl keeps flirting with me but she has a boyfriend. She does stuff like asking me about a math problem or talking to me on the bus, but I try not to respond to much because she has a boyfriend, so we haven't really talked for longer than 10 seconds. She also does stuff that's more daring like touch my neck and write on my with pen. She's kind of awkward though. That's about all I know. Is she just trying to make sure she is still attractive? Does she actually like me but isn't sure if she wants to break up with her boyfriend or not? And if so how should I go about asking her out?
I've tried to not be like that forever, but i can't.
I don't keep in touch with female friends when I am with a girl. I do this because I am a horny guy and I want to fuck every girl I know.
I also am forced to assume that every other guy is a horny guy much like myself because I don't know one who isn't.
Why can there be no reciprocation for this? Should I just keep all my fem friends and temp my dick x 100?
If we're boyfriend and girlfriend and I am willing to stop being friends with other girls to keep me out of trouble, shouldn't she also be willing to prevent trouble from wandering penises?
So when my girl has friends who are dudes, I cannot reason with myself that they are only friends, because even if she has 0 interest in his dick, his dick would not be disinclined to be in contact with her.
Good going, at least my country has one thing to be proud of - hot girls.
Don't know if you can answer these since you left the religion, but:
- How is the typical muslim family with accepting their son's christian girlfriend?
- Are middle eastern muslims different to asian muslims (around that pakistan/india/bangladesh area)?
I'd date other Christians, maybe an agnostic or a Jew. I wouldn't date someone outside those groups, though. I want my children to be raised in my religion, and anything else would be pulling away from that. There's also the whole issue of the girl in question having a completely different basis for morality and truth than I do.
Unrequited love is endless pain, in my experience its been better to lose that friend than to keep that pain.
"Typical" is hard to pin down. Religiously it's permissible for him to have a Christian wife. It's only Muslim women who are forbidden from marrying outside the religion. The idea of a girlfriend is generally not cool though. Culturally it can be less acceptable for him to date outside of the religion (or even the ethnicity in particular) but with more or less tolerance for pre-marital relationships depending on the culture in question.
Every group of Muslims has significant diversity, as you could likely guess from the answer I gave above. Even in the Middle East it varies from one population to the next. Jordanians are different from Syrians, Syrian Shi'as are different from Syrian Sunnis, Syrian Sunni Hanafis are different from Syrian Sunni Salafis...and for all of that, each individual may act in a completely unique way in the context of life in western society. That includes how much his or her family adapts to (or even adopts) local customs. It's all over the place and highly unpredictable, especially over time.
Nope, if you get hugged (by me), you gonna get groped too(by me). You said yourself that you fall in love super easy. So hugging would lead to more than hugging and would just end up twisting your emotions around.
If you are depressed and you know you are depressed, then know this: I was depressed for 8 years, couldnt even motivate myself to work. But until I decided I didnt want to be depressed anymore and that I wanted to be different, I felt similar to you. That I had nothing to give to anyone and could only take things from them. If you want a hug that will help, find a good doctor who will get to know you, listen to your darkness, still offer to help you help yourself and then hug you.
interest groups. look at something like meetup.com, find a group that does something you like.
I think the huge height gaps are fun as long as you don't mind me wrapped around your waist like a kid.
I'll tell you that you can't have my number if I'm not interested, but I'll tell you that doing it got me followed home once. I can't blame girls who feel afraid to.
What are good ways to break the "touch barrier" with a girl?
This is what i mean by unrequited love, the whole 'cuddle you to sleep' bullshit is just her manner of speaking nicely. She's being nice to you. as in. She doesnt want to be a mean person. If she could be mean to you, she would have been mean to you already. So all she can do is kill you with kindness.
At some point the pain of only being 15% with her instead of 100% will get to you and cause you do or say something stupid that will allow her to end the relationship without being a 'mean person.'
Sometimes when a person is just being nice, it's because they don't know how to be mean, or can't stomach being mean.
>girl thats a good deal shorter than me
>is into it and likes that "big protector" thing
>as long as you don't mind me wrapped around your waist like a kid.
>but I'll tell you that doing it got me followed home once.
Shit, well anyways what sounds like its the opposite of the norm so girls should chill out honestly
i don't do anything except watching movies, reading books, going to the gym and studying. i have no interest in working because inheritance and will probably get a job in academia.
am i too boring for girls
I guess it doesn't really matter who answers this or what gender they are. Here goes: I feel dull and lackluster on an emotional level. I wasn't always this way.. in fact, I was quite the opposite. When I felt emotions, I felt them very strongly, and it was easy for people to tell what I'm feeling just by looking at my face alone. When I was happy, I laughed and danced and told everyone how I felt. When I was angry, I screamed, I would punch a pillow, that sort of thing. When I was sad, well, I cried. In a way, I was sensitive, but at least I expressed my emotions most of the time.
Now, at almost the age of 25, I just feel so deadened on the inside. I mean, I still feel emotions, but I really hold it in on the inside almost 100% of the time now. I'm almost fearful of expressing my emotions now. I became like this when my partner made me feel terrible for having such emotions. We are still together, and we are mostly fine... but emotionally, I'm dead.
I don't know. Is this just me growing up and letting things go? Is this what maturing is supposed to be like? I just look at my past self and I kind of miss the intensity that my inner life used to provide for me. I suppose I am missing my fleeting youth, I don't know.
When I was in HS i was obsessed with this one girl. I wouldnt talk about it to my friends ofc, cuz guys y'know. But I could literally go to bed and fade to sleep while saying her name over and over in my mind, feeling nothing but bliss everytime i thought it.
ofc, it never worked out in real life. friendzoned.
>>but I'll tell you that doing it got me followed home once.
>Shit, well anyways what sounds like its the opposite of the norm so girls should chill out honestly
I'm a dude but I get it. It makes perfect logical sense.
I'll put it to you this way, You know that saying that guys trade around, "You don't fuck around with/put your dick in crazy"?
maybe 9/10 times you're perfectly fine and get away with it. But there's that 1/10 times that the girl is actually batshit insane and will (like literally happen to my friend) run out of house in a bathroom to smash you across the back of the head with a random block of wood she picked up, or poke holes in your condom so she can "trap" you in to the relationship.
This shit makes perfect sense.
not a grrl, but my cousin is 6'7, and he is married to a shortie, like A SHORTIE, she's easily 4'5
their daughter is grown now, shes tall for a girl, about same as average guy
so somewhere out there, some little tiny woman wants a giant to pick her up and......do stuff.
I'm 5'2 and I adore tall guys, my ex was 6'4. Love that they can pick me up, make me feel extremely protected etc. Most of my shorter female friends feel the same, never experienced they rejected a guy because he was too tall, only too short. Not everyone LOVES tall guys like I do but it's not a thing they'd reject someone over!
If they were otherwise interested, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker, and might even be a plus. Most girls love tall men
I think other things explain the majority of your rejections, sorry man.
I've read that the majority of guys are incompatible with the majority of girls due to factors that are outside of their control, and the whole "a sufficiently alpha or whatever guy can get the majority of women because he is good enough at it" isn't true.
So is 15 rejections over 6 weeks that out there or is it normal?
I regret my behavior towards him and want to apologize as I have matured since, but i dont know if i should just let it go as it has been a while?
>4 years ago, we are both freshman in uni
>hes head over heels and we date for 2 weeks
>he is a legit upstanding good guy
>i had drug problems and was kind of psycho and treaed him like crap/broke his heart basically
>no i didnt cheat on him or anything i was just not nice
>not a messy 'breakup' he just knew it was the end, avoided me and i think blocked me on fb
>havent seen him since except one time when we just said hi to each other in passing
>Fedora tipper but raised catholic
>Catholics and protestants at a push. I would not get into a serious relationship with anyone who is not Irish because they would be too different.
>None unless they were Muslim.
Yes i think he may have trauma. I was so horrible.
Are you saying 'no' as in 'dont contact him even to apologize'? I dont want to reconnect. I just want to let him know that i'm sorry
But what would that change?
He might be nice and respond "Okay, no problem" but in reality he will remember what he went through.
"Good/Nice guys" tend to crumble over failed relationships, especially if they were doing what they could to be a good partner.
Trust me, leave him alone, you will have to live with it.
>1. What race/color are you?
>2. What religion (if any)?
>3. Would you date anyone of another race/religion, why/why not?
sure, i have.
>4. How much shit would your parents/family give you for it?
like a bit of shit if she's full-on black
I always felt that apologizing heals the other persons wounds, and if the wounds were already healed, then at least they just might appreciate it. I dont even care if he never responds.
Ironically i have a diff ex who traumatized me worse, and if that ex apologized to me i would cry but still feel healed finally. hence my wish to apologize to this man
>1. What race/color are you?
Weird Mediterranean mix from my mothers side, French/English from father. In other words I'm white as shit.
>2. What religion (if any)?
Atheist in a Catholic family. Everyone gets along well enough.
>3. Would you date anyone of another race/religion, why/why not?
Sure, but not culture. White washed anything is fine, but I'm not interested in someone fresh off the boat.
>4. How much shit would your parents/family give you for it?
Minimal to none. Reminds me of how it was apparently a big deal when the Portuguese married into our family though. It was a big deal back then apparently.
Personally an exercise buddy sounds like a grand idea. I find it easier to stay on top of that stuff if I'm accountable towards someone else.
I'm a cheap slut for casseroles and oysters.
Ive been dating this girl for 3 months. Its all going good, but im wondering if it would be weird to give her pepper spray or have her get it herself. We both live on campus, and unfortunately i worry alot.
Is there there a lot of sexual assaults at her campus? There is nothing wrong with being prepared, so if there is cases of sexual assaults, it should be easy to explain your point.