i really want a relationship but i don't want to be hurt by love. i was hurt a long time ago and i still feel it.
i know i'll be hurt again, relationships always end somehow...unless you die before it's over; but who is that lucky?
Relax. Humans are not meant to have long term relationships. We grow and change far too quickly and diversely to remain compatible with each other over time. Learn to enjoy the time you share with any one person whether it be one minute or ten years. A new and more compatible person always comes along if you are open to it. The only reason long term relationships worked in the past is because women had no options and were forced to be what their male partners wanted them to be. Let yourself grow, let yourself change. Find the person who is a match for you in the here and now.
>humans aren't meant to have long term relationships
I disagree. I think that is exactly what they are meant to do, and studies show people who have many relationships are unhappier than those who have fewer.
getting hurt is an inevitability in relationships. whether it's a breakup or just the things people inadvertently do sometimes to hurt each other. only way to truly prevent it is to never get close to anyone, and then you just wither and die inside.
the best thing you can do is to make it worth the pain. commit yourself to making your relationships as worthwhile as possible, and seek out people who are committed to the same thing. make the absolute most of it. and whatever pain comes, I can't say if it will be lessened or not, but at the very least you will have no regrets to add to the pain.
that is all you can do.
idk man, it's some evo psych thing I think. at least that's what people always seem to say when you put the screws to them for an explanation. I mean, I get that we're apes and apes generally don't form lifelong pair bonds. but they do form lifelong friendships. and if you form a pair bond with your best friend, why shouldn't you be able to make it last - if not for life, then at least longer than the duration of "poop out a kid and raise it til it moves out"?
Probably the same reason people ask personally relative questions on 4chan. None of us are able to answer these questions in any way other than what our life experience has taught us. In my experience, what I have said is true. As in all aspects of life, your experience may vary.
Your wording implies what I said and I don't mean that in a "Oh I understood but I'm being picky" way, I'm only giving you the benfit of the doubt now.
Everyone I know shits in bathrooms when a working one is available, doesn't mean that humans are meant to shit in bathrooms or that everyone does or should.
Some activities persist because they are functional. Shitting in a toilet provides a large benefit to society, especially those who live in large cities.
Just like those who have adapted to living in large cities have adapted to using more sanitary methods, modern humans must now adapt to the idea that women have many more options available to them than they had in the past. They can grow and change just like men. As a result, men must put more effort into maintaining relationships and we must accept that women will outgrow our personalities
>the best thing you can do is to make it worth the pain. commit yourself to making your relationships as worthwhile as possible, and seek out people who are committed to the same thing. make the absolute most of it. and whatever pain comes, I can't say if it will be lessened or not, but at the very least you will have no regrets to add to the pain.
thanks man, this makes a lot of sense