I'm 24, she's 23. So, I finally gf'd my friend with benefits of 3 years. For the first year of our agreement let's call it, we'd have sex once or twice a week and maybe watched a movie and smoked a joint. I had no interest on pursuing a relationship and given she initiated the friends with benefits but it was safe to assume she didn't either.
This persisted for a year and a half during university
After we graduated we saw each other way less often but still had sex maybe once a month. We work in the same city but I live outside the city.
Last summer I had a pretty serious surgery and she was there for me throughout recovery, after work I'd go to her place a couple times a week.
New years eve I went to her place and we got drunk and went into the city for the count down and fireworks
That night I kissed her at midnight and I stayed at her place, the first time we shared a bed.
I saw her 3times last week and Friday night we saw phantom of the opera at a theatre, after that we went back to her place
That's when I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She didn't directly say yes but we kissed and had sex and I stayed over again. Yesterday I called her and we talked about it some more, and I'm seeing her again tomorrow
My question is, now that she's my girlfriend, what changes from a fwb? What should I do to be a good boyfriend? She was essentially my best friend I had sex with before I gf'd her, now she's my gf what should I do differently?
Would it be appropriate to invite her to family dinners with my parents? She's Italian her parents were immigrants
My family is Anglo as Fuck been in Canada 200 years, and we do waspy shit like Anglican church and nice family dinners once or twice a week where my sister and grandpa come over
It might be, or it might not, it really depends on a lot of factors.
Personally, I'd wait at least a couple of weeks to better understand her stance, but it's up to you.
Since you're putting her in a bad position in case she's not happy with it, I'd just mention it without making a formal invitation, and gauge her reaction
Maybe this week I should take her out for dinner and we can talk about our relationship and what changes from being friends? Is that too formal or should I just let things develop?
Again, depends on her personality and how you pull it up.
If you act concerned and do a very formal "ok lets define what changes with us being commited" its gonna be awkward, unless she's a formal person herself.
Honestly, I think you just need to chill. Definitely keep talking, but don't pressure it, rules and expectations will develop on their own.
If at any point you're not sure you should be doing something (hanging out at late night with friends, clubbing, whatnot), just ASK beforehand.
You got a nice thing going, congratulations man
Thanks anon, I'll keep that in mind. I'm the one who initiated the relationship so I feel like my responsibility to make it work. I think I'm feeling a mix if excitement and anxiety over it
Also, stop worrying about social rules and expectations of a relationship, just enjoy what the fuck you have, dude. There's no need to pressure yourselves into meeting your families and shit... Just drop it someday, as a casual thing "we should meet each other's parents, don't you think?"
I agree don't put pressure on yourselves, just let it develop organically and don't smother her with rules and being there 24/7. Seems like the only things that might change in the short term, is that you will hang out more and not have to leave, ala one night stand and Fwb type rules and may develop the relationship and closeness more.
Don't be too casual or to pushy about meeting the parents. Better to wait till you settle in the relationship a bit and just be honest and upfront and ask her whether she wants to meet and hang out with your family yet. She will say if she's ready for that yet or not, and don't take it personally of she's not ready to meet yours or have you meet hers and you should be fine to see where it takes you both.
I figure a relationship should just be "I have sex with my best friend" so I think you're all set. Maybe you'll want to spend more time together but other than that no need to rush into meeting parents or whatever. Just let things happen and try not to stress.