My story begins on the 18.12.2015. I started to date this Italian/German chick and as we date - eventually - she starts to love me.
Loving me doesn't stop her from cheating and whoring around with multiple guys since then.
Now, a couple days ago she told me that she thinks she's pregnant (feels sick, weak stomach, hungry all the time, can't sleep well) and of course she told me I'm the only one who could be the father.
I'm in my early twenties and in college, I have no job and no own apartment and a child would effectively ruin my life.
Why do I tell you guys this? Should I really freak the fuck out and get me an unregistered gun to die a hero or is this just a psycho chick that doesn't want to lose me?
Note: This Thursday she wants to go to the gynecologist with me to see whether or not she's really pregnant.
Guys, I know, but the thing is that this whole "I may be pregnant" thing started after I told her she can go to hell and now she kinda goes to all kinds of doctors and I freak out about becoming a father.
She took a pregnancy test at home = negative.
Took a blood test a few days back = negative.
And on Thursday she wants to make another one at the gynecologist with me.
I mean could she even be pregnant from me (ofc she could be from one of those other guys)? We only had a few times sex without protection and I never came inside her and the total time we know each other/have sex is three weeks tops.
She told me "I love you" and she told her WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY about "us".
The "maybe baby" thing is kinda taxing on my mental m8.
If I know for sure that I'm not the father or she isn't pregnant at all, I'll tell her right away to fuck off.
Don't let some chick you met a month ago ruin your life.
Op, you are worth more than this. Will you really be happy this way? She'll continue to sleep around behind your back, even if you help her raise the child.
If you feel pity for the child- there are millions of children who are in the same position because of their mother's careless actions. You do not owe this woman anything, and you do not owe the child anything.
All that being said IF THE CHILD IS NOT YOURS. If there's a chance it's yours, do some DNA tests and confirm.
Op, if it is your child, then you should stick around and raise it, or at least offer to be there for the milestones.
But if it's not your kid, then you have no ties to her
That's what I'm talking about and what I wonder.
I mean could she even be pregnant by me when we only had unprotected sex a few times without ejaculating in her and know each other for not even a full three weeks?
You should literally tell her that the only way you'll raise that child is if there is DNA evidence that you are the father.
Otherwise you should completely cut all ties with this chick.
Not only is she disrespecting you, she is literally trying to ruin your life to make hers less shitty.
She's probably not even pregnant, and just doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions.
Y'all should go on Maury
I'm on my phone so I can't write a longer reply for a few mins, but I want to save you some suspense: if I'm understanding you right, she's almost certainly not pregnant. Not from you, anyway.
How do you know she cheated? If you're just assuming this because "there's no way it can be mine", that seems like bullshit to me.
Otherwise if you actually know, I would get this woman out of your life now. Tell her to fuck off, that she can go the the gynecologist by herself, and that if she's pregnant to call you when she gives birth so you can get the child tested for paternity.
OK, so I'm a little confused. Why does she think she's pregnant if the tests (two of them!) came back negative? Is her period just late? It really, really sounds like she's bullshitting you.
Look, if you only had sex with no protection a few times, even if she is pregnant (I don't think she fucking is) it's very, VERY unlikely to be yours. People like to spread scary shit about how ineffective the withdrawal method is, and they're not wrong, but that's largely because it's by far the easiest method to fuck up -- if you have sex with your girlfriend one hundred times and rely on pulling out every time, there's a good chance that a few times you'll fuck it up.
It's true that, as you've probably read, there's trace amounts of sperm in precum, but usually not a lot, and you need a lot to get somebody pregnant. There's a reason you produce tens of millions of sperm and even men with 10+ million can be functionally infertile. The odds of any given one fertilizing the egg are VERY low. It's possible for there to be enough sperm in precum to get somebody pregnant; it does happen sometimes. Assuming perfect use, the withdrawal method has about a 4% failure rate, which is pretty comparable to what condoms have. That's among people who use it regularly -- the odds that there will be one failure resulting in pregnancy. Having had sex with her w/out protection just a couple of times ...? Very unlikely. Not impossible, but very unlikely ... and since she hasn't even produced any evidence she's pregnant ...?
Don't go to the gynecologist with her. Tell her to only to contact you again if she has proof she's pregnant, and even if she does, you're going to demand a DNA test.
Let me tell you this. I was raised that people's eyes don't lie and I just needed to look her in the eye and that was it. I asked her. And she confessed.
She did a pregnancy test a day after vomiting about a week ago. That test was negative.
Then she went to the doc last (Thursday?) and they took blood and the results came back yesterday. Negative.
And this Thursday is the third test.
I'm no expert in this matter, but I mean even for her "symptoms" it's too early, when the 1st time we had unprotected sex was in the 1st week we got to know each other, ergo about 2 weeks ago.
It wouldn't be completely impossible for someone to have symptoms like nausea at this point, but they'd be unlikely. The most I'd really expect would be spotting and some cramping.
Actually, I take it back. I misread your post. Those symptoms wouldn't be unheard-of NOW, potentially around two weeks after conception, but a week ago it'd still have been too early -- they'd be unusual even now.
Anyway, it's all moot, because I have never, ever heard of somebody experiencing symptoms like that and not testing positive. Sometimes home pregnancy tests can fuck up, but if she got a blood test?
She's not pregnant, man. I rarely make definite pronouncements on this board, since, you know, weird shit happens, and I think people are too quick to make up their minds ("she's DEFiNITELY cheating" ... no, no, sometimes she's not) but in your case I'd stake real money on it.
Relax. She's not pregnant. You're fine. Use protection next time.
I swear to god that I will pray to god for you when this shit is over with a happy end!
Could I ask for a definite explanation of your statement? I know I sound like a total faggot, but my heart and nerves are about to explode from nervousness and stress.
You can always just bail anon
Rrmember, there is ALWAYS a way
Sorry it took so long to reply, I didn't see this at first! I hope you haven't been getting anxious.
I wrote up a pretty long post that explained the actual hormones and biological processes involved at length. I've saved it and I'm happy to post it if it'll set your mind at ease, but first I'll summarize.
Basically, all the early symptoms of pregnancy are caused by the same thing -- the implantation of the developing embryo in the wall of the uterus (which causes spotting and sometimes cramping), and the subsequent hormone spikes that occur (which can cause, among many other things, nausea and vomiting.) False negatives on pregnancy tests either occur because the test itself is defective/not sensitive enough (possible with a home pregnancy test, exceptionally unlikely with a blood test) or because the embryo hasn't implanted yet. So it's possible to get false negatives when you have a fertilized egg within you, but you NEVER experience symptoms from that, so her vomiting couldn't possibly have been caused by pregnancy. Which means that neither of you has the slightest reason to believe she's pregnant.
Is that clear enough? Does that set your mind at ease, or would you like me to go a little more in-depth? I'm happy to, but I don't want to just spit information at somebody past the point where it's welcome.
That should say
>So it's possible to get false negatives when you have a fertilized egg within you that has not implanted yet (or implanted very recently)
But if her hormone levels are so low that they're not showing up on a blood test, then it's utterly impossible for them to be causing nausea. What I'm getting at is that there's no scenario where that was a pregnancy symptom.