My psychiatrists say that I have bipolar disorder and nothing else, but I feel as though I have schizophrenia instead, and I'm very depressed because of that.
The reason why I think I have schizophrenia is because this diagnosis was made during my first hospitalization (when I was 17 years old), but was scrapped during the follow up, and replaced with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
Do you that I'm right to think that I have schizophrenia and be depressed because of it? Or is it just my bipolar disorder manifesting itself?
I do. I believe I have it, and it usually leads to a permanent and continuous deterioration of personality and intellect. I wouldn't like to live this kind of life, hence the depression.
>The reason why I think I have schizophrenia is because this diagnosis was made during my first hospitalization
Is this really the only reason you think that, OP?
If so, don't worry about it.
I was diagnosed with both years ago. I got my life together and now I'm a very functional person with a great social life in a really good college. I never have any symptoms of either.
Partially, I think my symptoms were caused by being in a completely shit environment. By getting away from the people I was surrounded by and the shit city I was in, and having a stable route to somewhere I felt happy, everything literally changed.
Basically, if you can make enough of a change (which is admittedly difficult), the shit doesn't matter.
You probably are not. Depression and anxiety fucks with your brain and makes you think you have illnesses causing it when it's actually just depression and anxiety. Even if you hear voices occasionally (I do, especially when I used to take stimulant medications) or find you are completely apathetic it's still likely not schizophrenia. The voices have to be a constant, clear thing before you will ever get a diagnoses and that's for the best.
I have a family member with actual, diagnosed schizophrenia and he's opened up to me about his experience. If you have any questiosn I can answer them.
However, remember that bipolar disorder can also cause psychosis, without it meaning that you've got schizophrenia. That's good, because bipolar generally doesn't become worse over time.
I know this fear. I know there's not much we can do to assuage you but try to remember that bipolar disorder can cause psychosis. If you still think you have it then try going to a different doctor to get another opinion
>the shit doesn't matter
It matters, though. Schizophrenia is far, far more debilitating than bipolar disorder.
>try a different doctor
I've been followed up by many doctors throughout these years, and all of them came to the conclusion that I have bipolar disorder - even the ones who doubted it at first. They said that based on the course of my illness, I most likely have bipolar disorder.
Then I wouldn't worry about it. They would've looked closely at when you became psychotic and obviously decided against schizophrenia. It's common for bipolar disorder to be mistaken for schizophrenia especially early on in the disorder.
Also plenty of people with schizophrenia get by just fine, it's not the death sentence it used to be. I'd focus on your symptoms and getting those better before worrying about a diagnosis of schizophrenia (which probably isn't what you have anyways)