I can't get it up, guys. Like, with a girl. Am I broken? Watching porn, boners come easy. With a girl, maybe I'll get hard initially, but then she's grinding on me, and honestly it just kind of hurts my balls because she's got her thigh pressing up in my crotch and I go limp. Then for the next 20 minutes or so I'm trying everything, and my dick is just fucking sleeping there. Honestly this probably ruined a good thing I had going with this girl. Help.
I'm going to try cutting back on alcohol. I'll also be doing kegel exercises more regularly, but past that I'm not sure what else there is. Masturbate less maybe?
Maybe once every other day on average. I made a point of not doing it that day, although I did watch porn and I guess "edge" for a bit without cumming. I thought that would help get me in the mood but nope.
1.) Stop watching porn, especially the whack ass commercial porn. But just stop.
2.) Do something active. You'll be surprised the immediate effects it will have on your libido & circulation. Weightlifting, running, rock climbing, stretching, etc.
3.) If a position isn't comfortable for you just tell her. Don't make it awkward, but at the same time don't try to power through physical discomfort.
Thanks. Is your advice to just stop watching porn or to stop masturbating altogether? Because the latter is a no go.
I will definitely start being more active. I usually run and stuff outside when it's warm but winter is a kind of hibernation period for me. I should try to change that I guess. :/
Just curious: do most people usually go straight to hard grinding during sex or do they kind of stroke each other and "build up." It seems like all the girls I've been intimate with (sample size: 2) go straight for grinding on my leg. I've gotten boners spooning before easy but that's never led to sex.
Masturbation is fine but you should be able to use your imagination. And if you can't get off to the thought of fucking this girl then how can you get off to fucking her?
Porn is poison. Cut it out and you'll notice your fantasies start to slowly drift toward more realistic scenarios with the girl you like.
Jerking off to whatever is in your mind's eye is better than doing it to porn.
And, in my also somewhat limited experience, there's always a buildup in some form, but that buildup period can be very, very brief, depending on enthusiasm and whether or not it's meant to be a quickie.
This sounds like a psychological problem and not a physiological one. I bet you are thinking about not getting it up while she's on you rather than how sexy the situation is. Need to clear your head and not focus on it. Its very difficult. Need a practice GC outside your friendship circles