I'm living it, baby. No, seriously. I've got a job as a Night Stocker (Introvert, can't really deal with people for very long). It's tolerable, but a job is a job. Don't make much money. I know I want to eventually learn a trade. Perhaps, welding perhaps electrician. I need a car to get the nearest trades around me. I just feel like I'm going nowhere.
literally knowing you failed to fulfill the prophecy all the jedi were counting on, your wife is dead, your skin is burned to a crisp and horribly mutilated, your last memory as a normal man is your best friend slicing your legs off, you can't take your suit off except in a tiny ass room. plus your own son is trying to kill you, the guy who made you kill all the jedi and your wife is just your master who treats you like shit.
Darth Vader's life really fucking sucked, it was a black abyss for at least the last 3 decades. the happiest moment of his life was just before he died and finally got to see Luke with his own eyes.
Depression, so I already live it half the time. >that feeling of everything being absolutely hopeless and feeling like you are sinking into a black pit of despair as everything you care about crumbles around you I don't even worry about hell I know what to expect.
I'm afraid of becoming bitter. I'm only 20 so I have plenty of time left to find a husband and have a family, but if I don't end up finding someone by the time I'm 30, I could see myself becoming bitter and angry at the world.
Being 21 kissless no relationship virgin on my last year of classes, realizing I've given up trying to be social since it never brought me happiness, college friends have stopped talking to me, fucking up my confidence, caring less about school and falling on my face with procrastination issues, seeing grades slipping and no one seems to car,e getting depressed, and then constantly looking for the smallest pathetic bit of enjoyment I can on a day by day basis whether its scraping resin out of my bowl or buying four 99 cent jack in the box tacos and then driving around a block in circles. Questioning what the hell could be worth this depth of fucking loneliness.
That was last semester, it only lasted a few months but I doubt I will ever experience anything worse.
>>16671220 There's nothing that I want more than a loving husband to spoil and children to raise. That's what I want more than anything. If I don't end up getting it, I can see myself becoming jealous of women who do have it.
>>16671265 But you don't have to be! I've learned we have something better to fight for than all the normies. True happiness anon. It exists, I won't say I've found it but I've come close and, holy shit anon. Words cannot describe. Just know it's an elusive motherfucker, but if you want it enough you will find a solution.
The last seven years of my life...a forced realm of unwanted defamation, made only for my personal and psychological torment. Most of my friends, family and community had stabbed me in the back and left me to my fate.
Seven years, still endured and unable to prove a shred of it.
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