How do I get rid of my wife without it costing me an arm and leg?
I cant take it anymore, Just today alone she hasnt gotten up once like literally not even once. I went to go get a piece of chocolate from one of those giant Hershey bars which was meant to last a week or more and she grabs the whole bar with her fat sausage fingers and just eats the whole thing while laying down. I tell her not to get chocolate on the floor because if it melts into the carpet I have to clean it so instead of sitting up she just lets it get all over and just lays in her own mess. when she finishes the big ass bar of chocolate she just throws the wrapper on the floor and goes back to sleep.
So as you can see just from that small glimpse she is completely useless and really just cost me money. Im tired of working and then coming home to her sleeping or doing nothing and just a path of waste and mess from her and the kid. She claims she down and upset all the time and I can understand that every now and then but everyday for six years straight? nope, Im not buying it anymore and I should have stopped buying it three years earlier. So what do to get out of this with minimal loss of time and money?
Was this what your mother was like? Poor baby. Good thing 4chan lets you write letters pretending to be married with children when you are actually home alone cruising /adv/ after fapping to women you wish you could marry.
No, we have a few other pending things going on on top of the fact that she is huge into guild wars 2 and has given out her picture there. If somebody her id's and lets her know what im planning then I will have to deal with that hell plus it will give her and her equally useless mother time to gather money for a defense attorney
Divorce isn't a criminal charge, and if you're divorcing her, lawyers are going to get involved anyway. Keeping this from her isn't going to help you in any way, you can't divorce someone without them knowing it and agreeing to it
I wish that was true. While you think that's pathetic I would take that life over the one I currently have. Not having to deal with a wife and kid and their mess after working all day would be great.
Whatever I just want out. I do know you dont have to have an attorney when getting a divorce since its a civil matter. So yes I cant keep it from her forever but I can keep it from her up to the point that have protection orders in place for my son and I, I place to move to and an attorney retained. All that said I dont want to go that route and wanted to see if there was a cheaper quicker alternative.
I tried that actually. she bitched to her therapist that I was starving her to death and her and her bitch therapist teamed up on me and tried to have me arrested for neglect. Sheriff came to the door and I said she is an adult woman with a drivers license and the car is down in the parking lot, she can got to the store anytime she likes. He agreed with me and told her that, she threw a huge shit fit and he told her to calm down or get tazed and then taken to jail
Im not paying a dime. She has medicaid, nothing i can do to stop it. I did continue doing it for a while but the cops got tired of getting called out and said they would arrest both of us for disturbing the peace
I dont have the money for divorce attorneys in my area. There arent any cheap saul goodman types. They are all the the $500-$100 just for them to talk to you for an hour types. I have googled it and I have made calls and i wanted to see if there was another way. I looked into mediators but they are expensive too. I mean i dont want anything other than my kid, thinkpad, surface pro, my clothes. She can keep the rest of it.
You can get arrested in your own home for disturbing the peace if you live in an apartment and have neighbors (plus her calls) below you and to the side of you who keep calling the cops.
Then clearly this doesn't matter enough to you. Look, you can go to court on your own, but she's the woman in a VERY biased court system, she will screw you so hard on "transitional support" and shit like that if you aren't represented by someone who knows what they're doing.
When I first met her her apartment as very clean and she was fun and outgoing. I did over time find out that she was like said spoiled and lazy as a child from her own mother. She even had a job at target when I met her. So im not sure what happened other than she got comfortable having somebody else pay the bills and worry about life problems for her. It did slowly start to come out though when she would call her mom for something or me if she didnt get her way she would lash out as you said.
Sounds like a legal grey area. And OP said her car stays in the driveway, so he probably has his own house.
OP, here is an idea. Don't divorce her, just leave her. Do this in this order
>start collecting evidence if she has broken any laws or is neglectful of the child
>sell her car if in your name
>sell house if in your name
>move out with kid
>she will probably move in with momma
>you will be granted custody since she is such a worthless human being.
It does matter to me enough but i recently lost my business and Im working a shitty $9 an hour job till I can find something in my field. I still have a 6 year old and bills to pay I just cant take a whole check and hand to a lawyer just for him to go ok youre fucked.
I know its absurb and thats why my father and the rest of the family wont even talk to me. This is totally real and I have let this get totally out of control. I mean even her own mother wants nothing to do with her craziness anymore
Idk OP...I know you're incredibly miserable and less than thrilled with your relationship, but this doesn't sound like "comfortable", this sounds like depression.
She was outgoing and cleanly before, and now that she's married to you, she's stuck on the couch, gaining weight and sleeping all day? These are key hints to depressive behavior.
Have you guys actually talked about it? Or do you just communicate through a therapist
I do believe that this is real. I know people irl in situations like you - every single part of it, including calling the police, etc.
I don't know what to tell you though. Everyone who got a divorce got fucked bad. Lawyers are as expensive as you think they are and often useless.
How long have you lived together? Is your education level similar? The fact that you make $9/hr might save you a little bit in court, because pmts are usually based on what her "previous standard of living" is, but unfortunately you have to talk to a lawyer.
An acquaintance I mentioned did settle out of court, but he is paying his wife $25,000 a year for 15 years, so...yea, I am guessing you need a laywer.
I don't believe she can be reformed. Knew too many people like that. They are just to used to being spoiled trash.
I am with this guy: >>16669959, but again, without a lawyer you don't know what's useful information and what's not, etc.
Again, you are so beyond fucked, it doesn't even register to me, but I do feel for you on a logical level and wish you luck.
My education level is slight higher than hers but she is going to community college for a degree in medical coding right now ( online classes so she doesnt have to move very much). I honestly dont think she'll finish it because she tried getting a degree in 2013 and dropped out half way through the semester. I had a business making $65 an hour and lost everything due to a series of reason and as I said Im working a desperation job till I hear back from some of these places I interviewed with. We have lived together for 6 years
I don't know how bad your previous income will fuck you. You absolutely need to keep/find all her college bills if you are paying them. This is one of the things I know they look at - the fact that you supported her while she became/attempted to become more qualified.
Try asking on "Law Stack Exchange" - google it. I am not saying it will help, but sometimes actual lawyer fags hang around there. You will need to compile all relevant information into one post though - your education levels, reported income for each of the six years, all assets, etc.
It sounds like depression to me too. It's fairly common after having a child too. If you can convince her to get a job and start taking meds that work for her she could improve immensely.
OP I know it's easy to be upset because she's not contributing, but this sounds like textbook depression, possibly post partum, and you may be exhausted by it but if you loved her and took true vows, you'd be willing to try and help her instead of jumping ship at the first opportunity.
Medication is probably cheaper in the long run than divorce desu, and if she comes out the other side of this the way she used to be before this became an issue, wouldn't you be happy with that? being back with the woman you married?
Or are you doing this because you want to get out and get poon.
She has been like this for many years now. 6 years in fact. She does take meds and I have supported her as much as I can but its now gotten to be too much for me to handle. You get to a point that you just feel like you are spinning your wheels and wasting your life.
Getting out is the right decision. I just don't know how you can do it without being in a similarly fucked situation. The longer you stay with her, the more spousal support you will be paying too.
>She has been like this for many years now. 6 years in fact.
Depression isn't a short term thing. I was depressed from 6th grade through a year after university. That's a decade of being miserable, wallowing in self pity, unable to get out of bed on some days and never really enjoying life.
>She does take meds
For what? how often does she see a doctor and what is the diagnoses?
>You get to a point that you just feel like you are spinning your wheels and wasting your life.
Go for it if you want to, I can't offer any resources on divorce. But like I said helping the depression and helping her enjoy life and be productive is much cheaper and less damaging than a divorce with a 6 y/o involved
But would you rather have the old her back? I know it probably seems like it will never happen. But don't you want that happy family you've been working so hard to build?
Also how many different medications has she tried? Sometimes it's hard to find the right one. And she needs more than just meds. I obviously don't know the whole situation but I think maybe it's worth another shot
>So what do to get out of this with minimal loss of time and money?
That dpends on whether you want to save money now or in the future. If you want it cheap right now you don't even really need to divorce her - just toss her stuff out on the driveway and tell her to go and be a hamoglobulous someplace else. Doesn't cost a penny and you could have it done in an hour if you put your back in to it.
The problem with that scheme of course is that you're going to get proper fucked in the long term. It sounds like she's entirley dependant on you, and when the judge finds out you ended the relationship with the romantic equivalent of "GG no RE" he'll have you paying alimoney out the wazoo for the next decade or so.
Your best bet would be to hire a specialist divorce lawyer. He'll work with you to create a case that's as watertight as a mermaids brassiere, a case that paints you as an angel, that proves the breakdown of the relationship is entireley down to her. You get custody of the kid and are freed from your obligation to support her cellulite-riddled ass.
It's going to means spending several thousand now, but over the years it will save you tens if not hundreds of thousands, so it's a pretty good investment imo.
Yea, I know. The problem is money. My dad is talking about maybe seeing if he can co-sign on a loan for me to end this mess. I dont know any other way to end this. I mean hell we just spent the last 30 minute arguing now about her srtaing a schedule tomorrow morning and she bitched about having to get up at 10am to in part clean the house she lives in as well. I would love to get up at 10am.I have to be up at 5am and bike to work!