>depressed since few years
>thinking about killing myself 24/7
>small uncut dick
>mild stutter/speech blocks (hard to start or keep conversation)
>no close friends,just one mate but we only see each other to drink or smoke weed i don't consider him as a friend desu
>lose motivation quickly
>no idea what to do now
I lost all hope.I hate myself so much. I can't even communicate properly,can't even order pizza by phone or call to someone because of my speech blocks.sometimes I can't say a specific word no matter how hard i try.i have the word in my brain but it won't come out so i gotta change the word and often i sound like completely idiot..also im tired of looking everyday in mirror and see my ugly face.
Recently I met really nice girl from twitter,we are texting since few months..everything would be great and we would be probably in a relationship right now if not my stutter+me being not attractive.
I wanted to go to gym but I lost motivation quickly..same with my driving lessons,I don't think gym would help me anyway.I just wanna die.Nobody will cry after me anyways...my family doesn't care about me..mom threatening me everyday to kick me out if I don't get a job..but I have 0 life experience and never worked anywhere.
I just wanna die.
Im not looking for attention,I don't really know what I expect I feel hopeless and i just wanted to share this with someone.
its me x_x
don't really care since i will probably kill myself soon..meh
Sounds like you have one problem; a sort of inability to pull the trigger. In a way, this is a good thing since if you can find the correct meds, your life will massively improve.
Kid you look fine. Just smile.
As for failure at education. That's impossible. You don't fail at learning. You either learn or you don't. Difficulty is subjective and has a lot to do with your attitude, and failure is only possible when you're unable to do anything about it.
Don't tell me you can't do anything about it either. That's bullshit and you know it.
At any rate; picking yourself up is vital, and once you're up you can stop looking in single moments of the past and start living in the true moment. If you need to talk to someone talk to someone who will tell you how it is. Be ready to feel a bit shity cuz that's unavoidable. It's necessary to feel good again.
On the other hand, you may be one of those people who commit suicide when given the meds because the meds allow you to stop procrastinating.
Yeah........ I think you're pretty cute. And I'm not terrible looking myself.
I don't want to belittle shit, but you're being a bit ridiculous. I promise things won't stay this shit. Some of my closest friends I met at my shittiest job- it's fun. And everyone at shitty jobs are typically in a similar situation as yourself. Misery loves company, and it can be a good time. A job would really help you out socially and maybe mentally. Give you a reason to wake up, even if it's to flip burgers.
In any case, just try to keep in mind that your brain chemistry is not you. It's not your fault.
No idea but i will probably need a recipe for those meds which means i need to see doctor or w/e.I don't like this.
Well,im hs drop out and can't really get back to school right now even if i wanted to,maybe next year.
Im trying to pick myself up but life isn't fun when you wanna die all the time and i have nobody to talk with beside my internet friend.
Thank you anon,you are first person that said that even when its not true x_x I will have to find any job or i will end up homeless so yeah.
Sorry for english its pretty terrible but its my second language and I learned it from online games pretty much.
You need to reorganize your life.
Top priority should be to get your education done as quickly as possible. Time will not wait for you.
Regardless of what you may think about yourself and everyone else, you should go to school. I waited four years after hs and regret it. Was 20 when I finally decided to get something done with my life.
Organize yourself and stop making excuses. You could probably apply to some sort of adult education program for this year. Look at your options, get informed on these choices, and ultimately form a plan for yourself.
If you don't want to see a doctor, then you have to get healthy without medications.
Try exercise. And going outside more.