What're good ways to get a girl to orgasm without sex or oral?
I'm currently in a relationship of about a year; both of us are each other's first sexual partners. Neither of us are planning to have sex any time very soon, we don't feel ready yet, but we do have sexual encounters fairly often, about once every week.
He's easy as hell to get to orgasm but no matter what we've tried, I don't get a thing. I barely get much pleasure really, except for when he tries oral, but as I've said he doesn't want to do that. We have mutual friends in a relationship the same age as us and the guy has been able to get his girlfriend to orgasm with less than what we've tried, and I don't know why I can't cum. It's beginning to make me frustrated.
Any advice on what we could try?
So before I offer my advice I need to know a couple of things.
When you two have your sexual encounters, what do you do? How much do you do compared to what he does? Have you talked about his unwillingness to go down on you? If he doesn't go down on you, what DOES he do?
Practise on your own and then guide him properly to the right zone. Unless he's a total fuckup he should get to somewhere pleasurable eventually, if you just relax, visualize. and allow the feelings to flow. If not, just insist on the damn oral or do it yourself.
I have given him handjobs, let him dry-hump me (this is his favourite), and came close to blowing him once but I don't feel ready.
He fingers me, attempts oral because he knows I want it but he doesn't like doing it, and tries use of toys, which is the closest I have gotten.
I don't get any pleasure whatsoever when I try to touch myself, whether I use toys or my fingers. I don't know if I just don't get turned on or I'm not hitting the right spots or whatever but masturbation's not really any option.
It sounds like you guys are lacking in sexual experience, which makes sense considering that you're each others first partners. So unfamiliarity is normal.
On top of that, comparing yourself to your mutual friends girlfriend isn't healthy. Everyone is different so what works for her may not work for you.
I would suggest trying out a no-pressure sexual exploration day. Meaning when you both have time, get together and just let him explore. If something feels good, remember what he did, or where it was and then tell him that it feels good. If something doesn't feel quite so good, do the same thing. Relationships are all about communication and understanding.
On top of everything that i've said I have some more questions too.
1. When you guys start your "sexual encounters" are you both in the mood? I know for a fact, starting off when someone isn't ready, or isn't feeling it makes it almost impossible to reach orgasm. Make sure you're in the mood when he's doing his thing. There's a world of difference between when you are, and when you aren't.
2. May I also ask why you don't feel like you're ready to go down on him? Just curious.
Thanks for your advice.
1. I'll be honest, a couple times either he or I haven't been totally in the mood, but not usually. However, I've started feeling 'in the mood' less and less often and sometimes I look back on what we did after a date and feel like it felt like sort of a chore. I am open with him about these feelings btw.
2. I just don't really want to. I won't say I think it seems gross or something but I never really feel like I want to do it. Also in my opinion oral should be a mutual step in our relationship
The only possible reasons why people would be in a sexless relationship is if they are religious or if they are teenagers. Since you have to be 18 to post on this site, and I assume you are following the rules, I just can't wrap my head around this line of thought.
Sex is part of a healthy relationship. Why are you actively avoiding it? It's fun and strengthens the bond.