New year, new change, but still havent done shit. Like the last half a year since I got laid off from work. Problems was I had zero social life besides work. Finally I had a place with some nice people where I could do some good work and I felt confident. Then for what ever reason, I honestly dont believe the talk I had, I had to stop.
Live sucked, confidence dropped to zero. Seeking for a new job was unsuccesfull. I didnt really care either. Somehow I still havent given up because I somehow believe I still can turn it arround and make cool stuff. I have tons of Idees and highs of motivation and confidence. But mostly it drains away.
I am sad and lonely :( I am always waiting for that one moment that would turn everything arround and make my life great. But I fear that is never going to happen :(
I keep setting deadline, like today on the 10 day of the new year I should leave everything bad behind (to much gaming, tv/films/internets, beer junk food, wanking, self destruction) and do what I need to do. Just like the movie: Limitless :(
Help me please, give me that pill :P
I hear you senpai.
I'm in a similar spot. It's called apathy or "stuckness".
When we feel stuck, it's mostly because we've been doing the same unproductive things over and over again for a long period of time. It won't change just because you cut down on the things you want to avoid (tv, drink, junk, fap), unless you replace those things with more fulfilling and exciting activities. You can test this by catching yourself next time you're getting ready to do any of the beforementioned, and instead just snap out if it and do something productive. Fix that birdhouse, do those dishes, work on that bike, get ready for a better future! It helps to have a list of things.
The important thing to notice is that your feeling of being stuck is exactly that - just a feeling. It's not a program that needs to continue to run in order for you to be who you are. Let go of that feeling and search yourself for any reason to get up and do something creative. Your motivation should be that for each little thing you do that is not a product if your vices, you will be gaining something that leads you on a new and better road.
Set a time limit, try it for a week, and then see if you want to continue doing it. You got no obligation to anyone else beside yourself.
Thanks Wise One, for the concrete advice. I already wrote some things down. Some of them are: less gaming, less drinking. I heard sometimes goals like that arent the best since they have nothing concrete you can achieve.
Other are: reading and making a game. I always wanted to make a game or atleast learn to make something like a game where you could just play with, adding stuff creating new things. But on low moments there is always the doubt. Now you see kids making games, how can I compete with that?
How are you doing? Tell me more please!
Writing down things in a negative form won't help.
Write down the things you would like to do, not the things you'd like to do less of.
Make a list of things you'd like to read.
My advice would be books that will inspire you to do more.
>Biographies about people you admire
>Motivational books, "How to achieve..."-books
>General knowledge, topics that if you were to learn about them, you could hold interesting conversations, and become a more interesting person yourself
>work on a something like a game
What type of game? Board game? Practical gimmick game? Card game? Computer game?
Your list should include stuff you need to look into. Do your research. Understand what type of creation you'd like to make, and see if there's already something similar on the marked already. If you just need a craft project, get inspired by maker videos. Look up Make Magazine on YouTube, or similar channels with videos of construction and creatively as their main content. There's loads of fun and inspiring people out there!
Important to note, don't criticise yourself whenever you're moving to slowly. Just remember to count your gains, and be proud of the little things you achieve in a course of a day. Think more about what you've done with your time that will help you progress, and less about what's holding you back - that will dissolve more and more, the more you focus on being productive. Your gains should serve as a reason to get up in the morning and work on something that gives you joy.
Don't compare yourself to other people.
Thanks for asking. The past weeks I haven't done much else than giving advice on this board, so no, I don't always practice what I preach. As I said, I'm in a similar spot.
I write lists of plans and gains, and do research, but I haven't been very productive the last month or so. I'm an artist (painting, installation, poetry), and my main focus has recently been to seduce women.
I was moderately expressed one year ago, and started to pick myself by learning to let go of unwanted thoughts and emotions. I've managed to feel pretty alright over the course of 2015, and my goal now is to get out of the feeling of being stuck, so your OP suits my situation quite well. I've decided to stop drinking as much (xmas took its toll), and now that I've layed three women in the last couple of weeks, I can shake that urge a bit and start getting back in my studio practice. I've recently assisted a fellow artist with an exhibition of his, so my year so far has already included new work, albeit not my own.
If I do feel down, I just accept the feeling and see if I'm ready to let go, or if I want to sit with it and ease it out. If I do want to let it go, I just go through the procedure of something called The Sedona Method. It's helpful in any situation when something in life is holding me back. You can find a seminar video about it on YouTube, just type in 'letting go Sedona' and look for a video with a running time of little over an hour. It got me out of depression, and it will get me out of my apathy.
tl;dr be open to acceptance. Welcome the issue, welcome the urge to change the issue, welcome the notion that it's personal. Answer three questions:
>Could you let it go?
>Will you let it go?
Thanks for sharing, never heard of The Sedona Method. I think I found your video:
Will give it a try to watch it.
Sounds like you start 2016 pretty good :). And women dont get me started :P. I am a huge sucker for them, but only had sex with my first and only GF who was really shy and scared (i think) so only missionary :( ;)
How did you go about that with seducing?
What I sometimes have with reading all those advises/knowledge is I keep reading and reading and eventually the feeling of doing anything has passed.
I used to draw/computer art a bit but havent done so for years. Not really sure why :(
Yeah, that's the one. If you just look past any cringeworthy moments in the video, its message is very sobering, and as I said, it has helped me out a lot the past year.
2016 is a fact, new year, but nothing changes unless we put the effort in. That being said, mastering should become effortless, and you'll become greater at what you try to do as long as you keep on doing it and always look out for new opportunities. If you detect any hesitation on your part, that means there's an opportunity there to let go of what ever is holding you back.
The key is to be aware of what ever is going on in the moment, and compare that with whatever outcome you'd like to see. In my instance, I've been cleaning my room since my last post. I realised that if I were to meet a girl tonight, I wouldn't want my room to be a mess in case she wanted to come back with me, so cleaning becomes something productive I do for my own sake, so I don't have to worry about a shitty, embarrassing problem later on. Obviously there are other reason to keep a tidy room, but I work with what works best, and sleeping with beautiful women is a high motivator.
Which brings us to the subject of seduction. In recent years I've delved into the wonderful world of text game, and learning how to consciously build attraction with women. To put it in context, I've mostly been using it on my +5 year lover, who used to be my girlfriend back in 2011-12, but broke up with me early 2013. I wanted to continue to sleep with her, so instead if showing up at her work and forcing myself on her social circle, I became her dirty little secret she was seeing behind everyone's back. We had a slight falling out before Christmas, so I texted a girl I knew was going to be in town, just reminded her of the last time she came over. In other words, two of the women I've been sleeping with the past weeks, I've fucked before, one of them hundreds of times, the other one only once.
The third one I've noticed been eyeing me for the past year, and one night during xmas break I saw her sitting at a club with three dudes. I went over and captured her attention, had a real nice conversation which lead to her wanting to see my studio (where I also happen to live). Showed her my paintings, had a few beers, and suggested we go and sit on my bed. It's all about knowing how to hold a conversation like a man. Not long into our conversation she admitted that she finds me very attractive, and them she kissed me. Less than five minutes later she was naked and I have her a couple if orgasms going down on her and fingering her. Fortunately for me she isn't used to guys being able to make her cum from oral, so basically she's been all over me since, and I slept with her three times during xmas and spent New Years at a party at her place. A few days after I last saw her I figured my ex had cooled down, so I hit her up. She was hesitant at first, so I hit on her emotional triggers, explaining how I can take it or leave it, but that I'm ready when she is. She called me up the next day and wanted me over at her place. Spent a nice evening with her, not pushing for anything, but complimented her body and told her how I never want to stop being close to her. Lead to her wanting to take a shower together, so naturally I fucked her up against the wall.
Idk why I'm typing all this out. I guess my advice is to look into the pickup community (Tyler RSD on YouTube) and take with you what you feel might resonate. It takes practise and I can guarantee that you will get rejected more often than not, but the more you expose yourself to approaching girls, the better you'll get.
As for reading too much advice. Try and recognise when you're starting to form your own ideas. Write them down and then start doing something. Move around, don't get stuck in front of the computer. Your ideas will get more fruitful if you pull away from the screen, no matter what else you do instead
Well for typing all that :) I find it always nice and interesting to read other people experience's.
Will save this tread so I can read it back later. I posted sometimes on 4chan but your the first to take this much effort to reply. Thanks allot!
From what I read, you got your life pretty much on the rails. And having sex with women makes it much better :D Haha :D
Dude, I appreciate helping out. I got my life figured out, but at the same time it's a total mess finacially. Trying to work an art scene in a city where not much is happening has meant that I've ended im a lot of dept, but NOW is never a good time to give up.
My philosophy is that every day you can wake up to new and better ideas. Whether we act on them is up to us, one moment at a time. But we ain't getting any younger. At 28 you are entering the prime of your life, believe. Make sure you serve yourself right, and live a life you won't regret. When it comes to women, it actually only gets better IF you never stop learning.
Extra bonus, check out this guy, he knows where it's at
Its a nice philosophy. I will try to take your advice to heart. It is indeed the moment to turn my life up. Getting out of shape, being poor, being a neckbeard ;) isnt something I want to keep doing :P
I hear you mate, fincially I am in the shits also. It sometimes freaks me out when I realise I have no income :(
Where you from?
I live in the Netherlands.