My parents won't let me go to the college I want to go to. I want to go out of state to be close to my girlfriend who went out of state. My mother thinks I'm going to be too busy "socializing". I have enough money to go to this school and they have the major I want and its honestly not a bad school. The think is my parents have a college fund set up for me and they're not giving me the money to go to this school because they want me to stay in state. What do I do /adv/ Im going fucking crazy
Does your mother not understand that socializing is part of going to college? You don't go there just to earn a degree, even if that's the main goal. You also go to college to learn how to function as an adult, to learn how to take care of yourself and learn how to deal with other people and, yes, socialize.
Stop being an entitled cunt. Your parents don't have to pay for shit and it's up to them if they want to only pay for a school in state. If you want to go to the other school suck it up and do it. Maybe if you show your parents your dedication, get good grades and are still respectful to them, they may end up helping you pay for it then.
I have enough with my college fund yes. But my parents are controlling what college I spend my fund on. And the money is in their account so I cant touch it without their approval.
Is it money you've earned while working? If not then it isn't your money. It's money they've set aside for you to go to college, which is still their money. It's probably in their account because you're a whining, entitled high schooler who thinks he understands the world.
The only real reason they see for you choosing this school is because you want to follow your girlfriend. Basing your college decision on a high school relationship is childish. Unless you live in New York, it's unlikely you'll pay less than twice as much to go out of state.
TL;DR: You're a whiny high schooler who thinks he understands the world and will fail in an out of state school if your girlfriend broke up with you (which, by the way, she will).
No, it was given to your parents by your grandmother, with the intention that it would be spent for your college.
Why else would it be in your parent's account you ninny? Maybe your grandmother knows what kind of an entitled baby you are and hopes college will help you get some perspective instead of just helping you chase your high school sweetheart.
What you're saying here is "if little whiny high schooler doesn't get his way, he'll just work McDonald's tier jobs to spite his parents."
Is everybody in here siding with OP actually retarded? Please tell me this is bait. He's only picking this school to follow his high school girlfriend, which will inevitably rob him of an actual college experience and be, at best, be a distraction.
You are an immense retard, you know that? Going to the same college as his girlfriend doesn't mean he's going to spend all time inside with his girlfriend. I sincerely doubt that having one person he knows and can turn to for support if he needs to will make him lose out on, as you call it, "actual college experience" (which more often than not includes dating anyway). I can't help but wonder why this thread triggers you this much, but if your only advice is "don't do it because you're just a dumb kid", then I don't see why anyone should listen to you.
Just consider yourself lucky that your parents even HAVE a college fund for you, you entitled richkid fuckhole.
I never said he would spend all of his time inside with his girlfriend. I said following a high school girlfriend is a childish way to pick an ~$80,000 investment. If I had a kid who was picking a car that was twice as expensive as comparable, if not better, alternatives I would question that. Especially when they didn't earn a single cent of it.
> I sincerely doubt that having one person he knows and can turn to for support if he needs to
Because you know how stable those good old high school relationships are. If the feelings in the relationship were reciprocated why wouldn't the girlfriend have made an effort to find a college with OP? Have you ever heard of somebody being glad that they spent their first year in college in a relationship with their high school partner? Nothing better than stunting your socializing and then seeing your ex around campus. Even best case scenario with them staying together, he's squandered twice as much money because he knows the relationship wouldn't work without constant contact.
Yes, college does involve dating. Dating isn't what he's doing. Dating involves socializing with new people.
What triggers me about this thread is how childish OP is acting. He's the archetype for an entitled brat.
Would you please explain what extra expenses there are tied to going to college out-of-state? I don't believe that transport alone would double the price. Also, i would like to hear from OP what the actual price difference is.
You seem to confuse dating with casual one-night-stands. Generally, the goal of dating is to spend a lot of time with one person, not to socialize with a bunch of different people. Furthermore, having a girlfriend does not preclude one from socializing with new people. It might even help with it, as he is bound to interact with friends that she makes and vice versa.
I have no idea for why the GF is not going to the college OP's parents want him to. Perhaps he might shed some light on that as well.
And to answer your question: This is anecdotal, but a friend of mine has dated his now-fiancée since middle school. So, yes, I have heard of somebody like that
>Would you please explain what extra expenses there are tied to going to college out-of-state? I don't believe that transport alone would double the price.
You're actually retarded or just not from the United States.
I'm not confusing dating with one night stand. I think you're confusing dating with it being an admission that you want to marry the person.
Maybe in your idyllic world having a girlfriend doesn't inhibit socializing in your freshman year of college, but out in the real world it is common knowledge. It does not help you socialize. When was the last time you've heard anybody say 'Wow, ever since anon got a girlfriend he's been super active in our social circle and in the community!' Nobody can be this naive.
Your anecdote is the exception, not the rule. Surely you aren't daft enough to think that it is anything close to significant evidence for OP's case.
The latter is correct, but thanks for the explanation.
Dating IS admission that you want to marry the person.
Unless you want to add anything to calling me wrong and naive, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one.
And you asked me for an anecdote, so I gave you one. Don't ask for a Twinkie and then complain that yopu wanted a steak when you get a Twinkie.
>Dating IS admission that you want to marry the person.
I don't know what ass backwards country you live in, but here your first date with another college student probably involves a $10 a plate dinner together. Going to a fucking Olive Garden to get to know somebody on a date doesn't mean you want to marry them. It means you thought they might be interesting and wanted to get to know them more. "Hey, I know this is our first date, but I'm wondering what our five year plan looks like. Pass the bread sticks."
I'll add that you sound pretty spergy.
>And you asked me for an anecdote, so I gave you one.
No I didn't. To carry your shitty analogy, I never asked for a Twinkie and some autist tried to force it down my throat claiming it was worthwhile dietary intake.
So you love being sarcastic, because it makes you feel smart. That's neat. However, when I say dating, I don't mean dating around. I mean actually creating and maintaining a relationship with one person. I realize that the modern culture of total degeneracy makes you think that the only possible way of "dating" is trying to fuck as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time, but that's really not the case.
Also, might I direct your attention to this >>16664153 post, specifically the part where you say "Have you ever heard of somebody..." and so on? Seriously, lying about what you said is only a good strategy when other people can't immediately show to a record of what you actually said.
I haven't mentioned a single thing about sex. Feel free to scroll up.
Also, maybe English isn't your first language to rhetorical devices are lost on you. That's cool, but when somebody asks 'Do you like eating shit?' they don't actually expect a response. And being married to your middle school sweetheart says nothing about it not being a mistake and that their time (assuming they had any) in college was preferable.
Out of curiosity, when you've been dating somebody for a month, you're already thinking about marriage with them? That doesn't seem a little odd to you? You don't even know what cereal they prefer in the morning.
You can't separate casual dating from sex and you can't separate a relationship in fledgling stages from a marriage prospect. Is your brain broken, or can you just not handle more than a few things at once?
To the point though, OP is just a child who has no concept of money that he clearly never worked or did anything to earn.
You're wasting tons of resources and money that are available to you at in-state colleges because you're chasing pussy. Unless you're on a scholarship or have far more money than you probably have and want the prestige, there is no reason to go out of state.
Are you going because you're afraid of losing her, infidelity, or you can't stomach the idea of having to use your hand for the next two-to-four years? Skype exists, vacations happen. Stay local and get a good job and a decent car so you can make weekend trips to visit if you're actually serious.
>being married to your middle school sweetheart says nothing about it not being a mistake
So the fact that they managed to make the relationship work for long enough to actually get married means nothing, but that they met in middle school is an automatic guarantee that it was a mistake. Good to know, I'll tell him that when I see him.
The end-goal of dating is marriage, just get over that. that doesn't mean that it is the obvious goal in the early stages of a relationship, rather the goal in those is just to see if the two people are compatible, but the implication is that success here will set the relationship on the path where marriage is an obvious goal. Incidentally, the reason why this explanation sounds spergy is because this should be obvious to you by now.
On the other hand, casual dating IS related to sex. If the end goal is not staying together, then it really only can be fucking. You can insult me all you want, but unless you can give an alternate explanation, then you're just admitting you're wrong.
To add on that, I'm not being sarcastic to mock you or anything. You're just entering college, fresh out of high school. You're so full of hormones and lack life experience to really make these seemingly cold and purely logical experiences.
Both of you want to set yourselves up for later in life, to do that you, you're gonna want to take advantage of the in-state resources. At least until you qualify for a transfer. I got My AS at a local community college, got a paid internship that payed enough for an apartment in Berkeley Hills, the most expensive fucking place in the Bay Area outside of San Francisco, before I could join my SO. It took two years and a lot of work an resentment for my parents because I was too selfish to realize the financial burden I was demanding of them.
>The end goal for dating is marriage
No it's not. Most of the time It's for sex. The people who adhere to this legitimately are either older and ready to settle down or are religious conservative.
>So because my friend won the lottery, that means OP should play it too! Statistics are for nerds!
All you've done is restate what I just told you. You can't discern shades of grey. I hope the world works out for you.
Socialization is not some all important aspect of college you need to consider. It's a natural consequence of just being somewhere, the same as work. So throw that notion as justifying going out of state in the trash.
Even if you won't concede socialization isn't important or detracted from by his girlfriend, fiscal responsibility is important.
I actually feel bad for OP's parents. Every night when they go to sleep they have to think about what an idiot they raised. Maybe for once they need to put their foot down since he didn't learn anything on his own.
>get out of college
>can't get a good job at your field because instead of making connections you were sperging out over how to get a perfect grade in calculus I and being cheap
>work shitty job for years without taking advantage of nepotism
what a faggot
Sorry, I'm not OP. I agree that if the cost of doing this will raise the price straight through the roof like you said in >>16664263, then it's very likely to be a bad idea. I'm mainly arguing about the other points because I hate leaving threads hanging.
Did you miss the part where I go over the difference between casual dating and long-term dating?
So dating from middle school will never work out, even when sometimes it does, therefore you should just abandon your relationship the moment you graduate?
The socialization angle was not an argument OP used to go to the college he wanted to, it was his mother's argument NOT to go there.
Because schmoozing it up with the boys in the white male student hunting lodge, doing line after line of coke off of an impoverished asian transfer student and using her face as a cum-rag is gonna net you job. Just like 1980's Hollywood cinema said so.
I can be pedantic too. The reality here is you're bowing tens of thousands of dollars trying to chase after a girl instead of a couple thousand dollars locally. You're not going to succeed without money and grades.
Wow, you did it! You pointed to two things on a gradient. We're all very proud of you.
And his mother's argument is correct. You're just too ignorant of how relationships actually work.
Sorry, I think you are the OP.
>Sorry, I'm not OP. I agree that if the cost of doing this will raise the price straight through the roof like you said in >>16664263, then it's very likely to be a bad idea. I'm mainly arguing about the other points because I hate leaving threads hanging.
At least you understand the logistical side of chasing tail now.
>Did you miss the part where I go over the difference between casual dating and long-term dating?
We don't know your actual situation but general at that age, relationships are unstable and are the result of hormones and lust more often than not.
>So dating from middle school will never work out, even when sometimes it does, therefore you should just abandon your relationship the moment you graduate?
Nobody is saying that, we are however saying that statistically, kids in your age range have unstable relationships and they don't have the ability to realize the difference between passion and a relationship built around a mutual goal of settling down.
>The socialization angle was not an argument OP used to go to the college he wanted to, it was his mother's argument NOT to go there.
And she's right. You're wasting a ton of money for a relationship. Go long distance, break up or whatever. Regardless of what happens, it'll be better for your long term stability regardless of whether or not it's just a casual flame or a serious im gonna marry her relationship.
Either go to a college in-state and have it paid for or go out-of-state and figure out how to pay for it yourself. Those are really your only options if your parents are holding your college fund hostage.
As messed up as that is, going to a college because your girlfriend is close is a horrible idea. Don't even try to hide behind "b-but they have my major and it's a good school!" You know the real reason you want to go is to be with her.
This is your future. This is you investing in an education that will hopefully open doors for you for future employment or other opportunities. Maybe they have the major you want now, but what if you end up wanting to change majors? What if you and your gf break up? Where do you eventually want to work?
Pick the college that's right for you regardless of where your gf is. If you two believe your relationship is that strong and want to make it last, distance won't change that. If you really think an out-of-state is right for you, then you're gonna have to figure out a way to pay for it yourself. If you choose to put yourself thousands in debt just to be near your gf rather than taking advantage of having your college paid for and putting off living with her for a few years... well, I wish you the best of luck.
Please explain to me why would I lie about being OP. Seriously, you're basing your argument on talking down to a kid when that's not what you're doing. I concede the point about the price because I didn't know that these insanely high out-of-state student fees were a thing. I'm saying that "because being with your girlfriend" is a horrible reason to NOT go to a certain college, and if the college was in-state, it would actually be a good reason to go there, but in this case it wouldn't be sound. In regards to his mother's argument, I have a problem with the phrasing, because "socializing" is more of a "meeting new people" thing than "spending time with your girlfriend". If it was phrased differently, I'd probably not argue about it, but saying socializing is a reason not to go to a college is stupid, since socializing is pretty much expected from a college student.
Because you're on damage control and you're hoping that if you pretend to be some one else taking your side you won't look like a fool and get people to echo chamber you about chasing after a girl, which we all know is your motivation.
Nobody is faulting you for pursuing a relationship. We are calling you out of jeopardizing your future over a girl.
The thing is, your points have been refuted.
Anybody who would jeopardize a paid education for a relationship that is incredibly more likely to fail than succeed is an idiot.
I almost admire your bright-eyed view of the world. Sadly, we aren't all still in high school.
>I want to go out of state to be close to my girlfriend who went out of state.
If you do this, you are a fool. She will leave you and suck more dick than what she thought she could.
Your parents want the best for you, listen to them.
No, it isn't retarded.
As a general rule, you aren't going to win the lottery. That's why the rule of thumb for a lottery is that you won't win. Are you retarded for thinking you won't win when buying a lottery ticket?
You acknowledge that anecdotal evidence is worthless but it is the spine of your entire discussion. I think you're both foreign and retarded. I regret making it seem like the two were mutually exclusive before.
What this rule of thumb implies is that you shouldn't even bother with trying to maintain a relationship until you go to college, which is retarded. The two outcomes is either the much less likely (as you call it, "winning the lottery") keeping the relationship going forever, in which case, great, or it breaks down. That is also good, because it still teaches you valuable lessons about relationships. Avoiding relationships until whatever age you deem appropriate only helps to stunt your growth as a person. As I said, I agree it is not worth pursuing these relationships when doing so would screw you up in other venues of your life, but treating it as a general rule of thumb no matter what your situation is is absolutely retarded.
>or it breaks down which is also good
>in a college environment where you need to focus on studies and socializing
>It's good for an emotionally volatile age group to be under emotional stress at the end of a relationship
I'm also just going to assume you don't know what rule of thumb means, or that you assume it's just a colloquial term with no actual meaning anyways.
Either way you're an idiot. Better luck next time.
Oh also, nobody says avoid relationships. We say avoid the ones detrimental to the overarching welfare of our existence.
That's why you date to get to know people and have experience. Not just to get married, you fucking autist.
Any more brain busters?
It isn't bad to face adversity, it is stupid to impose it for no real reason, especially when an 80k a year education is on the line. At that point it isn't adversity, it is self-flagellation. .
Maybe we should have a rudimentary English course before continuing?
Kill yourself please so OP can have a chance to get a better job with his degree instead of also spiting his parents by working at MickeyD's postgrad.
What part of "that makes it a non-issue" did you not fucking understand? I'm talking about a hypothetical in which the out-of-state tuition is not an issue. Why else do you think I would be arguing this "rule of thumb"? You truly are retarded.
Also I'm pretty sure your parents are trying to convince you not to spend all your money on education, or are planning to slowly steal it from you like I heard one of my friends parents did to save their shitty house from foreclosure.
You can't 'steal' your own money.
If they decided that buying equity in their home was more important than paying for some shit's college (wise) then it;s their money and they can do what they want.
Very smart people will be successful if they go to college or not.
Stupid people will go nowhere, college or not.