>gf is online on Facebook pretty much all day
>like, really all day
>ask who she talks to in there, since we only talk on WhatsApp
>she sends me a screenshot of her messages
>she doesn't have one active chat, the last message from a guy was from december 30 and she didn't even open it
>that would mean no one on her Facebook wished her a happy new year
>she has over 2.000 friends
>I have 300 friends
>I received at least four messages on New Year
The odds are she's lying to me and deleted some conversations in order to throw it in my face, right?
I mean, it is IMPOSSIBLE that someone with 2000 friends would get NO messages on New Year's eve, more so when it's a woman.
Not really. I have a thousand friends on Facebook I never talk to as well, because we text or use group me. Your relationship isn't going to last long if you worry about stupid shut like this and you never should have asked her who she talks to to begin with.
then fuck off and break up with her, there is no point to be in a relationship with a person you don't trust.
You won't be able to oversee her all life and activities on social media, I'm surprised she was even arsed to send you screenshoots, after all it's not your business why she spends time on facebook.
Of course I should have, what I shouldn't do is let something that bothers me eat me up so much to the point I become resentful or whatever. The frequency of response is what bothers me, as in, she's always online on Facebook but takes like 30 minutes to respond to a text. I wondered what she's doing, so I asked, because of all the honesty shit and so on. I didn't even ask for a screenshot, she just chose to send it to me.
This is so mild it's funny. I have friends who literally demand their gfs Facebook password and oversee it every minute.
>What makes you think she's not doing work or anything else on the internet or something?
Because whenever I go there a thousand things she liked pop up on my feed. None related to work.
I've learned from experience that not being cautiously paranoid in a relationship is asking to get fucked in the ass. Trust as in 100% trust comes over time, we've been dating for two months, there's no reason for me to be stupid and stop thinking about everything.
You have shit friends. And it's not about how mild it is it's the fact that your insecure about what's she doing. Like a anon said earlier in this thread if you honestly don't trust her then break up with her. Otherwise just be confident that she respects you enough not to cheat.
I know it hurts and that it's scary, but the posters on here are spot on. You will never ever be able to know 100% what goes on in her head. The feelings you are going trough right now comes FROM YOU and you will experience them trough your WHOLE LIFE if you do not learn to let go and trust. No matter who you are with you will try to find reasons that she does not love you. Thoughts are powerful if you belive in them.
And who knows, the relationship is going to end in one way or another. You need to learn to enjoy things while they last.
This is for your own sake, for your own satisfaction with life.
That doesn't make sense. I for one never assumed she was cheating in the first place, that was your thought, I just asked her who she talked to, because whenever I personally open Facebook I'm talking to somebody, I rarely spend time liking stuff.
Also I don't really trust anybody very much, I'm actually very paranoid and it's a huge flaw, but I trust her a lot more than everyone else currently, so I don't see the breaking up argument. It's just full, blind trust.
I know, I've been trying to do that. Obviously I didn't mention I thought she had deleted some convos to her. I mostly try to keep myself pretty cool.
I was never able to turn my brain off though, I'm very pessimistic.
Not OP, and i do agree that if there's no trust, you should break up. But something like this is quite weird. Not that he should have asked who she talks to, and maybe he did it in a friendly, non-threatening way , differently than what i believe some are thinking. It makes no sense to blindly trust someone you've only been dating for 2 months. If trust is a recurring issue in a relationship, then you should breakup. But an isolated episode like this isn't. It is something to be analysed. I'd find it weird this circumstance was happening with me aswell. There is a difference between jealousy, insecurity, and being skeptical about a rather shady situation. Specially
>not a single Happy New Years
Dude, I don't know how old are you, and what kind of women do you gf, but something is wrong if you are 2 months into a relationship and already feel like you need to police how/why your gf spends time on fb. I don't know about the girl, but you certainly are not a dating material.
No fucking shit. He clearly meant 2,000 facebook friends and not friends in real life.
Yes, exactly. Not a single one. It's very, very weird. It's really rare that I get emotionally invested in subjects, mostly I'm just wondering what makes sense or doesn't, and that didn't make much sense to me.
Like I said, I'm not a very popular guy and I'm very quiet, always keeping to myself, but I still got a few even from friends I do have on other apps.
I had a negative feeling torwards it because I thought I'd be upset if she was talking to somebody there, even friends of hers that I know, all day yet taking her sweet time to answer me. Sometimes like an hour. Conversation can be sluggish.
How did I try to police her?
This isn't about being right or wrong anon it's about not being insecure. If life wants to hit you with something you let it hit you because it's going to happen anyways, you do yourself a huge disservice by letting it eat you up on the inside. Plus insecurity is a huge turn off for people in general.
How did I try to police her?
well, let's see:
>omg my gf is on fb but we don't talk on fb???
>message her who she talks to in there
>she proves she doesn't talk to anybody
>ay vay that must be a lie!
That's absurdal, it's what it is. Maybe she just likes scrolling through shit and giving likes and reading statuses, or maybe she talks with her friends but doesn't want you to know because she already know you would get jelly hissy fit and assume some random dude from whom she took notes once is ramming her. Whatever gives I do hope she dumps your sorry, paranoid ass, boyfriends like you are worst than common thugs.
So because I asked her a question, and then we changed the subject, but I had a thought inside my head about it, I tried to police her and I'm a thug?
You really are very dramatic and clearly you haven't seen many relationships. I hope you're not in one yourself.
You should work on reading comprehension: you are worse than a thug because you are so insecure that you dissect maniacally things like how much time she spends on fb and jump right to the worse possible conclusion, that is
>ergo she might be unfaithful
I'm not the dramatic one here, anon. You get your knickers in twist because of some trifle shit like that. My prediction? You will destroy this relationship with your paranoia and mounting insecurity.
Just have you know it's a couple of snobs responding to you not just that guy. What you did isn't that bad man I wouldn't worry about it, but in the future follow this
Makes life simple.
So let's dissect this.
>I'm not the dramatic one here, anon.
"you are worse than a thug"
"you dissect maniacally things like how much time she spends on fb"
"You will destroy this relationship with your paranoia and mounting insecurity"
"That's absurdal, it's what it is"
"you would get jelly hissy fit and assume some random dude from whom she took notes once is ramming her"
>and jump right to the worse possible conclusion, that is
"The odds are"
>You should work on reading comprehension
Now on to more serious things, you actually are a very dramatic person. As soon as I asked her the question she sent me she screenshot and we continued the conversation as normal. I made observations in this thread about how often she is on Facebook and how long she takes to respond to me, all things I'd assume someone notices from the person they're in a serious relationship with, someone you're dealing with on a day-to-day basis. Not hard stuff to pick up on.
Furthermore, I know dozens of couples who either share Facebook accounts or look through their partner's phone, or are openly very jealous, and my gf herself has some insecurities about the fact that I go to the gym and she isn't my first, but I'm suddenly Hitler because I asked her a question. You're not very bright. I'd rather be able to ask one stupid question than be in a relationship where I have to be a robot and never honestly say what's on my mind. That doesn't feel like honesty.
Is there anything else you want to say?
Just try to adopt what>>16663892 says. It's true. If she cheats she cheats, not that i believe you're only worried/skeptical regarding cheating, people think that's the biggest issue. Ignore the retards. A lot of dumb faggots here like to think that IF YOU EVER FEEL INSECURE OR A MOMENT OF DOUBT WITH YOUR GF/BF YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH THEM YOU'RE INSECURE BLABLABLA, they forget life isn't just black and white, and not all problems are dealt with by terminating the relationship or other drastic measures. Advices can be given in manner of possible courses of actions or ways to viewing the situation. Just learn to filter the information and replies you get here and absorve whatever you think fits your situation better or looks more logical, otherwise you'll just get angrier and people will get more retarded, since retards like to be bound to angry retards.
Also, your situation is objectively weird. There is no counterpoint, your worry/skepticism is absolutely justified.
Trust is important, but both extremes of it (not trusting or trusting too much/trusting blindly until shit hits the fan)is a huge problem.
I'm on Facebook a lot during the day, and I hardly ever talk to anyone on there except maybe two people every few weeks. I jusst browse looking at pet videos and seeing what people are up to. Sometimes if someone messages me and I don't want to talk I'll just delete it so I don't have the notification (having notifications bug me) and so its not marked as read, I dont want them to see it and hassle me about reading it and not replying. Not all females are constantly messaging dudes. If my boyfriend made a deal of it I'd get annoyed too.