How many Ativan do I need to take to kill myself?
I'm a PhD student and everyone in my department thinks I'm a piece of shit because of my mental issues. Thete ate no accomodations for mental health issues; ive even heard some profs say PTSD isnt real. All the other phd students mock me and I feel like an enormous burden on the department because of my agoraphobia and panic attacks.
I have a large amount of ativan. I want to take enough to kill myself but not vomit up. I can also combine it with liquor or cough medicine.
Literally more ativan than you or anyone you know has.
Mix in alcohol and opiates... maybe, you'll get somewhere. But it's certainly not a graceful way to go. Nor is it a sure thing.
You try and OD on ativan, chances are, you'll wake up in a week or so to find that you've completely destroyed your life and then all of the sudden the problems you have now will seem quite miniscule.
If you do honestly want to kill yourself, I suggest a firearm or a helium tank thing.
I mean, if you actually WANT to die, that's a permanent thing. And you're only going to do it once, so you might as well wait the day or two it'll take you to procure a proper exit strategy.
Ive looked online and seen that it can be lethal in actually fairly low doses, but of course no one wants to go into details. Also that way it wouldn't be suspicious as I already have it prescribed.
I don't have a car right now so I can't ask my husband to drive me to get other supplies to kill myself easily.
If you're funded, I say stick with it. If not, or not too well, try to transfer. Either way, don't kill yourself, especially with pills since the success rate on that is pretty low.
You can't really transfer in PhD programs as far as I know. So I'm stuck with these people who terrify me so much that the last time I talked to one of them, I actually fucking pissed my pants.
Come on, anon, please do not kill yourself over a bunch of mean asshole students. You won't be at this department forever, and for lack of a better reason, think about how scarred your husband (and other people who care about you) will be. Think about the person who has to find your body.
Just please don't do it. One anon to another. If you're able to become a phd student, you're clearly a smart, valuable individual. Have you tried talking to your professor? These other students are clearly stupid bullies.
That was my advisor I pissed myself in front of out of fear, though.
I would feel bad for some people, but I don't make almost any money and it would really be a financial relief on everyone.
Anon, truth is, if your peers don't even think PTSD is real, then they're fucking idiots who you shouldn't even be looking for approval from.
You're a successful person -- you are working on your PhD. I see underlying issues here. The problem isn't that your peers are assholes, or at least not to the extent that you'd want to kill yourself.
I could tell you how to kill yourself, having a few attempts myself that would have been successful if not for untimely interruptions, but I see someone who probably has a bright future and has a juvenile understanding of why he/ she should kill themselves. Talk it out with someone and figure out exactly why you feel like this. You probably already know.
I'm on meds and see a therapist. I've slso been through multiple types of therapy. The only thing left really is ect. I can't take time off to get healthy even if I could get better.
Video games, I guess, but I've been binging on even old favorites and I feel nothing.
I just got hired to do some art and that can chill me out too, or it used to. Not anymore though I think.
If a PhD student is asking 4 chan how to kill themselves, then you have more issues than what you're originally dealing with.
I don't want to come off as a dick, but seriously dude, go seek professional counseling. Once you lay everything out on the table to someone then you can begin therapy and take it on one at a time. It is then you'll realize that life is actually an awesome thing. Fear is nothing but a construct.
Best of luck to you.
I've been in therapy for years. I asked here because no one else will give me a straight answer die to the stigma of suicide.
I've been through cbt and emdr as well as traditional counseling. I just am tired of being alive.
Considering I can't really get away from my husband, I was just looking for honest answers on how to effectively kill myself. I need to do it before the new semester starts.
It's not you anon, your department sounds like a real douchebag-fest.
Could you complete your PhD in a different uni or at least do it overseas? You don't need to kill yourself to escape the cunts in your department.
Don't hurt yourself. If your colleagues are so bad that they terrify you, just stay away from them. Even if it means dropping out of school or losing your job or calling student services about a hostile work environment - all of that is better than dying.
C'mon anon, don't do it. Fuck those people for being assholes but they are not real friends. You just need some friends and it's gonna be alright. I'm up for playing some vidya with you if you want or something or we could start a d&d group with other fags from here, tabletop games with friends helped me when I was depressed. Anyway, I believe in you! You can make it!