i got married on christmas day. i've known my wife for over 2 years prior to the marriage. we have fought constantly but always make up and everything gets resolved. should i be hating my wife this early in the marriage? i seriously cannot stand the thought of her. this is probably the 4th or 5th fight that we've had since christmas day and i'm sick of it already.
because i really do love her. we split up for two months and both tried separate relationships. after both relationships ended we got back together. it's a love/hate relationship, quite literally
unfortunately i'm in the military and am at school for two months. she has already lived with me for over a year and i'm sure we will get over this argument just like our other ones. it just sucks right now.
That's not a good sign. People break up for a reason.
You're not even a month in and you're already tired of it. It's not like things ate going to change now that you're married. I honestly feel bad, it sounds like you both are going to be miserable together.
Maybe try a counselor?
she tries to tell me i need to talk to "someone" because apparently i have bad human relations, but i cringe at the thought of seeing a psychiatrist or therapist. it's not for me. but maybe down the road marriage counseling wouldn't be so bad. something's gotta change.
Why is it not for you?
Don't wait until down the road. Don't wait until you want to kill each other. Do it now. Do it before you have children. It will let you know if you truly want to stay together.
I am at a school with fellow soldiers that i haven't seen in years, and served with way back in the day. we arranged to meet up at a local bar to eat wings drink a beer and catch up. i didn't tell my wife that we were going to a bar. i told her we were going to eat at a place like buffalo wild wings. i tell wife the name of the bar and she looks it up. wife gets pissed that i didn't clear it with her before i went. so wife begins to blow up phone by calling/texting and demanding that i turn around and go back to my room and i do not submit lol. i have never asked permission to do anything and feel that it is silly for me to have to get permission from anyone to spend time with friends that i have served with and have that bond with.
because that's for people with real problems. i've been deployed twice and been blown up a few times but came out without any scars or anything. i have the best evaluation reports from my supervisors and was selected for promotion. i think if this shit started affecting my work performance then i would really have to sit down and schedule an appointment.
this is my second marriage and i would HATE to end up in divorce. i'm almost 28 and ready to settle down(obviously), my days of chasing pussy are long gone. now it's just figuring out how the hell to live with this woman for the rest of my life that's hard.
pic related, OP here. drinking beer as we speak
You might have real problems.
From what you're saying your little more than a week long marriage is not going well. Don't wait for your shitty personal life to affect your work. That's the worst thing you could do. Nip it in the bud before it gets worse.
Please get some sort of help before you have kids. I've seen too many couples have kids hoping it would solve their marriage problems. Protip - it doesn't.
i probably do have some real problems, but have never spoken to any professional "doctor" about anything. I get along with most people at work. I suppose I should nip it in the bud and take whatever advice I can from a marriage counselor. i know it would make my wife happy if i said "oh hey i signed us up for counseling".
i can't help but feel she is going to bring that up later in an argument though like "THIS IS WHY WE WENT TO COUNSELING" lol.
and we don't want to have kids to fix anything, we both really want kids and i agree we do have to be better to each other.
but shit, i can't be the only person who fights with their wife all the time
why did you guys break up the first time?
Tell me when the relationship first went sour, how long did you try to make it work.
I think with marriage problems either dated a woman with too much baggage to begin with, the wife eventually got super repulsed by her husband's passivity or the husband got too comfortable and started neglecting his wife, which is really bad because women do indirect, childish or subtle things to show you they are being neglected.
>i probably do have some real problems, but have never spoken to any professional "doctor" about anything.
That's not something to be proud of.
Fix your shit before children. You don't want to raise them in a hostile household.
>I can't be the only person who fights with their wife
I married a woman that I really get along with. We fight over some stuff, but always easily make up and fix the problem together. We never go to bed mad at each other. A good relationship takes both of you. You have to both be willing to work with each other, both be willing to help the other. If you both make every effort to put the other one first, things go well. But if either one of you chooses not to, things can go to shit.
Wow well man, she can't force you to talk if an argument starts, she can't force you to do anything. Work on your discipline, if you let her know she can't get to you she may "MAY" come around and submit. Takes a looot of discipline and you may go sexless for a while but it'll be worth it if it works. All men need that kind of discipline anyway when dealing with any woman.
Don't give her any kind of affection or romance for a week to a month, don't answer her unless it's important. If she's acting like a child ground her butt.
really? it's not something to be proud of? i have a hard time believing that everyone has spoken to a doctor about their problems.
hmm, my wife and i go to bed mad at each other from time to time. i think we are both stubborn and don't want to show humility. even though i try to after i give up and say "you're right" she keeps pushing and pushing, making things worse.
No, choosing to not get help for problems that you are having trouble dealing with is not something to be proud of.
Don't get me wrong, she sounds just as much to blame, bit that's just all the more reason to get outside help.
I guess we both need someone to talk to about our problems. i hate admitting if or when i'm wrong and my wife has her problems. it's frustrating when i feel like i'm doing everything fine in my mind and then she calls and makes a huge deal out of a small thing.
That does sound frustrating dude. It honestly sounds like you're both pretty stubborn. The problem is that relationships built on stubbornness and spite don't work. You're supposed to be a team, there to support each other. If one of you fails at that, you both fail. I understand your frustration, and that's why I'm suggesting some help. It might be good for the both of you, or it might show that you're just not compatible. You both need to put forth the effort to make it work.
op, just because you're 28, doesn't mean you have to settle down. if you do, your life will flash by your eyes in an instant.
i'm 27 and have no interest in settling down. i don't chase pussy. i have higher interests that demand as much of my time as possible. no time left for compromising with a wife.
don't do things just because everyone else is doing them. around this age millions of our peers are settling down and will regret it when they see their lives stagnating on a steady course towards death.
find something more important than your wife and hotwings.
Me and my wife had our wedding 3 months ago, we haven't had sex once since (make that 6 months really)
No fighting just don't feel any spark - I know this is the norm for long term relationships but I kinda feel jealous of people who are having more fun while young (I'm 25).
To be honest I think I'm just not that attracted to girls beyond a certain age (around 21) so I don't have much expectations for marriage
>I know this is the norm for long term relationships
That's a myth.
It varies by couple, but while you don't have as much sex as when you started dating, it doesn't normally grind down to a halt.
Is there a reason you stopped having sex? Have you talked to your wife about it?
We've only been through 36 condoms in the last 6 years and since we started living together it doesn't feel very exciting
She doesn't really have that much of a sex drive and just thinks I'm a weird pervert, mostly just lies there during sex, doesn't really try that hard to be sexy (barely exercises).. just feels too dull to bother anymore..
Also the fact that other guys I know are getting sexy girlfriends lately kinda bums me out
Lately all my wife does it decorate the house with our pictures and rewatch our wedding video with her girl friends or mother
Anti-social or not sociable? There's a difference.
Just work a shitty retail job. Grit through the interview and try not to be a total asshat and at least be REASONABLE with customers. You might get a meh review but you probably won't be fired for not being incredibly enthusiastic.
I'm surprised you're still in that relationship.
>2nd marriage before 30.
>But that sounds like a problem you should have been aware of before your marriage, right?
Yeah, but I didn't have much confidence in myself so figured I wouldn't be able to do any better
Lately my salary has become about 3x of hers, been working out and paying attention to looking good more than I used to. Just wish she would pull her weight a bit more
Trade up bro
Op ditch your wife she's a bitch
Everyone that married should at least have sex 2 twice a week. Or once
If you aren't there's an issue
Guys either put more effort or jump the bitch and fuck her rough.
when she divorces you'll lose half your shit might as well use her.