>Have transgender feelings since 8
>become publicly out at 16 to my mom
>get things started at around 19 (present)
>mom keeps thinking it's a phase
>says she doesn't really see it in me
>it starts to get into my head
>well, maybe i don't see it either?
>i'd always liked girly things, played girl characters, drew women, etc.
>but on the outside or as most people know me I was rather masculine, a confident boy
>i didn't dislike being the confident boy
>wonder if this is just a phase..
I have my letter ready to start HRT, but this is a huge decision on my life. I know I can just wait and think, but I have been with no conclusion on my own. I also don't want to suppress it til my thirties and have a midlife crisis where I'm some hon with kids..
Please help /adv/
How do you know that after you transition you won't have a midlife crisis and identify with your original gender?
If you're on the fence about something this serious I wouldn't transition.
I think most transgender people commit suicide after they transition because they later identify with their original gender and wouldn't really be able to transition back. I forget the exact statistics.
This is also a good point. Like when I was a kid I always played with trucks and dinosaurs and stuff but I'm pretty much entirely heterosexual female.
Just because you don't fit into a stereotype doesn't mean you're not that gender.
I'd wait at least 5 years on it maybe even more.
But what if it was vice versa?
I'm trying to get *out* of the "what if" game.
But I think I enjoy being perceived as female. I have naturally female features on my face, from my mom's side. I always enjoy when I'm mistaked as female, almost as a confidence booster.
Even online I would use female names or characters not to trap, or trick anyone, it would just make me more comfortable being referred to as "she" and so on.
I fear it's not the inside-out changed, more... the outside-in?
>I forgot the exact statistics
Oh, you forgot this bullshit you invented and/or took off someone else posting on 4chan?
The only reason why transgender people kill themselves is because they can't suffer living on a planet with people who make them feel like shit.
I mean, I'm cisgender but basically just a punch in the dick away from killing myself and anyone present
Also the fact that SRS, hormone replacement therapy, and so on, are unfortunately still pretty crude procedures. This isn't to fault the doctors and surgeons who perform them, there's just only so much we can do with current technology (I think FtM bottom surgery in particular is still pretty iffy.) Apart from the discrimination, trans people kill themselves staggeringly often because the condition is inherently very painful and surgery can't completely fix it. Doesn't mean the surgery doesn't sometimes still help.
Also, we have no reliable statistics on what percentage of trans people who don't opt for treatment end up committing suicide (because we don't know how many people like that are out there) and anybody who claims otherwise is misinformed or a damn liar. It's such a bullshit fucking myth that sex reassignment leads to this massive spike in suicide rates.
>wonder if this is just a phase..
A lot of transgender people say that they just "know" they are the wrong gender. Some don't. You may find that trying to make your body "female" doesn't actually resolve whatever body issue you have.
Have you talked to a therapist about this?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with trapping it up.
If you choose to wear women's clothing, it's not going to make one bit of difference if you have a schlong down there or not.
By going through this instead, your midlife crisis will consist of balding and growing a beer belly, resulting in the realisation that you're a freak. You will probably kill yourself then, like plenty of trannies do once their youthfulness is gone.
>liked girly things, played girl characters
define "girly" and "masculine".
do they really mean anything? you know full well that what society considers one or the other is completely arbitrary and meaningless, so why are you so damn hung up over it?
you like something someone else thinks is associated with having a vagina... this means you need to change? so fucking what? why are you concerned about what the masses might pin as normal? why should you have to go through a "gender crisis" because society hints that your interests don't fit your dick?
stick it to the man, do whatever the fuck you want, like whatever the fuck you want, dress however the fuck you want, AND BE DOING IT LIKE THE PROUD GOD DAMN MAN YOU ARE.
>most transgender people commit suicide after they transition because they later identify with their original gender and wouldn't really be able to transition back
>The only reason why transgender people kill themselves is because they can't suffer living on a planet with people who make them feel like shit.
These are two opposing viewpoints that are usually espoused based on political concerns, not because you actually give a fuck about the individuals. Claiming that everyone has regret is bullshit. So is claiming that someone's mental fucked-upness is because "society isn't supportive enough".
Depending on the study cited, regret rates are either about 2% or about 20%. Given that 20% came from a more comprehensive review as opposed to a single study that may be biased towards "see this shit works, everyone should do it", I would tend to assume that's about right. Rates of attempted post-op suicide may be as high as 40%. The rate of attempted suicide for people who have serious body dysmorphic disorder (not just transgender) is also quite high.
People with BDD are often suffering issues deeper than "just" being in the wrong body.
Plastic surgery addicts have a compulsion to "fix" perceived flaws, with the logic that fixing it will make all their problems go away. For some people, getting a minor fix may change how they feel about themselves entirely. For people who chronically need plastic surgery, it doesn't. So they decide oh, well, it's this other thing that needs to be fixed too, because the underlying issue is never addressed and can't be covered up by physical alteration.
Not saying that this is what's going on with OP. I don't know him. My general feeling is that if you're not absolutely sure that you are going to be physically altered to be what you want to be, it stands a good chance of not being able to "fix" whatever it is that's making you unhappy.
i don't get it.
i like girly things, draw women, play girl characters
and i'm cis/straight.
there's more to being a man/woman than liking girly/boyish things.
this right here is my actual problem with the transgender movement.
i don't get why you have to label or relabel yourself to explore these feelings.
wear girls clothes, date men, play with barbies; you can do all of those things as a boy.
unless there's something you NEED to do that a boy can't do; i don't see a reason for you to reassign your gender.
Can't you just be a pretty boy?
Look at all the ugly, unfeminine women you see every day on the street - is being a woman that great? If you just want to be very pretty and "feminine"-acting you can do that as a guy
you have to be happy with whats on the inside before you can accept
let alone be happy with
all the stuff thats on the outside
take some time to clear your head
maybe get totally wasted for a week straight if it helps
just get some perspective on yourself
i dont think anyone is comfortable in their own skin
at the core theres something that just doesnt sit right about being a person
its okay to want to change
physically and spiritually
do what makes you happy
just be sure that it will actually make you happy
It's not that I feel I should look female and like female things to match up. In fact even growing up a guy I was known to be super confident and comfortable with the feminine things I like.
It's like how I posted earlier in this thread, I just feel more comfortable being viewed as a woman, in almost everything I do. I just dont know if I'm sick, or would this make me happy at all?
Besides. I like dresses. But if I'm going to put one on I dont want to see a 20 something cis male, something more feminine. V
>like dresses. But if I'm going to put one on I dont want to see
most cis women aren't happy with what they see when they put on a dress either. I don't mean to tell you what to do re:hormones because I have no idea, but don't assume you'll ever think you look good in a dress.
Is there any correlation between your apparent gender-dysphoria and your sexuality?
There's nothing wrong with being gay, and feminine. I personally like it a lot, although I'm more masculine myself.
No, I actually have a girlfriend whom goes out with me when I publicly crossdress.
She's more than supportive, and we go out to get a feeling of how it might be, or if it makes me more comfortable. So far I've kind of enjoyed it.
But no, I'm hetero.
As I said I dress up now, and when I straighten my hair, put on some make up, etc. and look in the mirror, I do like what I see. When I look at myself before all that, just some guy with a dress on I hate that.
You are a guy in a dress. Very few MtF trans 'pass' well as women, even with makeup. So if you look good in makeup even you're lucky. Honestly I'd wait for some years before you decide to take hormones or whatever, at 19 your brain is not developed enough to make such a decision.
In the meantime, just keep cross-dressing if you want to, maybe even go to drag night at some clubs or something. Go on the internet and find local groups of like minded people.
>But I think I enjoy being perceived as female. I have naturally female features on my face, from my mom's side. I always enjoy when I'm mistaked as female, almost as a confidence booster.
you're being perceived as female stereotypes, which are harmful to men and women.
there is nothing inherently female about "girly things". Even if I have a square jaw and a robust body, I'm still female. And a boy with soft features is still ultimately male.
we'd do less damage to people's psyche if we understood that more. If you want to paint your nails and wear a wig and a skirt go for it, but you aren't a woman ffs and taking hormones won't make you into one
That's one thing I've noticed about the "tumblr" crowd regarding gender notions.
They want them to so totally not matter, but exclusively define the traits of masculinity and femininity through stereotypes, to the point that transgendered people become these cruel charades of what it's like to be *insert sex they are not and will never be* by trying to flanderize those stereotypical traits.
There's a reason you don't see transgendered people acting typical of their natural sex, while there are plenty of men and women on a sliding scale of masculinity and femininity without any insecurity regarding the matter. A "manly" woman doesn't fear not being seen as a woman because she is, inherently and permanently, a woman.
Her masculinity is a secondary descriptive factor to her state of being. Same goes for feminine males.
But for transgendered people, a "manly" man that wants to be a woman would never be thought of as a woman, so they have to do mental gymnastics.
take blockers or something, or anti androgens. you could also be nonbinary and feminine. don't listen to everyone who's telling you UHH YOU SOUND X TO ME, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A GIRL?? theyre fucking normies
lmao do you have any idea how many trans women are killed for ""tricking"" others or simply fucking existing. no sjw but its not an option to be just a nonconforming cis man if you aren't okay with being seen like that, but at the same time you can't live as a non passing woman, it suddenly is absolutely not okay because you're not some extremely flamboyant gay funny cis guy that others can accessorize themselves with under the pretense of being totally accepting of The Gays, you're a subhuman circus freak with tits to everyone around you and stick out like a sore thumb, because the appearances of women are constantly gawked at and scrutinized
its mandatory for one to perform those roles if they want to be taken seriously, regardless of how THEY feel about it.
sometimes you get 40 something hyperfeminine hons, which is uncanny and fake as fuck, but don't let that speak for everyone else?
It's a phase stemming from philosophical deficits. Gender is a concept based in cultural ideas, it doesn't tangibly, or meaningfully, exist.
If you want a different body so people will treat you in a different way, admit it and move on. If you want another body because you'd rather have that body, admit it and get over it. You've got what you've got, and no amount of "transitioning" will change that.
Sorry for the harsh opinion, but this transgender nonsense is absurd and destructive. It is a philosophical matter, and if you don't agree, ask yourself what "male" and "female" even mean in a behavioral context. What is it to be truly male, truly female? Where do genetics ends, and environment begin? Is it meaningfully viewed that way, how can you even tell?
Skip to the end. You can't. You can't tell. When I was 19 I was entertaining the whole identity deal. Saw it was a spectrum and that I was many things, some inclinations what I knew as "feminine", some masculine. Some neither. Thought it might be neat to try having a female body. Eventually tried to become nothing and strip away all sense of culturally influenced identity to see if I could find my truest of "true self". I could not. This pure representation of myself, and my genes, was no more "me" than any of the others.
People who pursue sex changes, as far as I'm concerned, are making a terrible mistake. It's better to reconcile your real issues. If you truly another body, then fine. But you don't sound like you udnerstand yourself at all. I fear culture will make transgender nonsense a function of group identity, and more people will fuck the rest of their lives up doing something they cannot ever take back.