My dad's an alcoholic, and I hate him.
I feel trapped because I can never hate him completely.
Does anyone understand this feeling?
Does anyone come from a similar situation?
Honestly, I could probably write an essay about everything that's going on but I'll leave it to those four sentences.
Go to an Alateen / Al-Anon meeting. It's a support group for relatives of alcoholics.
I hated my father until I stopped feeling anything for him at all.
I had more reaction when I ran out of cereal than when someone told me he died.
I don't regret it at all. I still think he's a total scumbag.
Don't worry too much about it anon. Whatever you do is probably fine. Though it might be more difficult if you have pleasant memories of him as well.
Just a quick note on this, it was only 2-3 years ago that he died, I have no idea if I'll feel the same way in 10-20 years, but as of now I definitely have no regrets.
I've probably not helped too much, sorry. At least I bumped the thread for you though!
OP here. I think that maybe I might have needed to hear that it's okay to detach myself.
I don't want to regret anything, but I think it's a little late to try for a real relationship with him.
Since you seem to have some experience with this, I do have one more question.
How do I know if something is abuse, or if the man is just a bastard? Any advice on this?
Not that knowing will make a difference, but I can't stop thinking about it.
I have similar feelings too op, my mom has narcissistic personality disorder and has been abusive since I remember, but sometimes she can be really sweet, and I know she had a shitty childhood. I can't hate her completely, but I can't love her normally either.
You aren't alone