Anyone here have anxiety about sex and any recommendations on how to deal with it?
>look at porn when i'm bored
>jerk off like once a day
>every time i cum tell myself it's the last time 'cause i have to "store up" some cum for my next sexual encounter
>dry spell for the last like seven months but still wanna hose down the next girl i fug because cum fetish
Now here's the latest example of this affecting my life.
>fap day before i go to a strip club 'cause i lose it edging
>girl is grinding on me but i'm not really getting hard
>afraid i just blew $150 for nothing
>continue to fill with anxiety and don't get a boner
>afraid this will happen next time i have sex
>now terrified i won't be able to perform unless i've had like three days to "store up" for it
So basically it boils down to the fact that I probably watch to much porn, fap to often, and am filled to the brim with anxiety if I've fapped within a couple days of my next time being around a sexy female. It may be tied to my innate desire to cum a lot when I'm with a girl, and since I know it'll probably just dribble out and not be impressive if I've finished recently it kills my confidence. What does/adv/ think? Sorry if this kinda choppy but I'm in a hurry. I can answer any questions if I need to clarify anything.
Honestly I'm not sure of the source, anon. I'm sorry. So once or twice a week, huh?
Pretty much solely for the purpose of how it looks and feels. I love the amount, being able to really paint a girl in it. Enough that she can feel how much is shooting into her and clinging to her pussy.
To put it simply, yes. I'm also afraid it could be due to anxiety brought on by not being "ready" to produce a huge load. Or the anxiety brought on by the concern in general. Or the anxiety caused by me expecting anxiety (like a weird placebo). I'm probably making it way to complicated.
Find a hobby that distracts you from porn. The more you fap the more you're going to want to fap. Eventually, you'll leave yourself in a state of desensitization from jacking off so fucking much where, even if you can get a boner from fucking yourself, you'll probably develop issues getting it up during sex and probably not even get full on boners masturbating.
The less you jack off, the less you'll want to jack off over time.
I have a solution to both your problems.
First look up "edging".
It's when you masterbate and stop when you are about to climax. Everytime you do this your body stores the cum shot like a bullet in a revolver. Repeat this 3 times before meeting up with your lady friend. You cum buckets when you finally release.
Secondly go buy some Viagra. Not even playing with you bro, for a first time hook up if you want to make a lasting impression pop a 50mg Viagra and your dick will be hard as diamonds. Takes all the anxiety out of first time sex and you can concentrate on destroying her vagina.
Depending where you live you can buy Viagra without a script online. Just remember 50mg is the normal dosage for able bodied young people.
I have a hobby, but it's just so easy to pop open a lewd board waiting for a loading screen, on the toilet, on break at work, even if not to fap it's fun to look at. You're right though, I need to find another hobby to fill those microspaces between normal hobby/work activity.
I've considered something in the vein of viagra before, but I've heard Cialis is better because it doesn't numb your dick. I already have trouble getting off outside fapping (go figure) and I'd prefer this not be compounded on. As far as edging, what constitutes edging? Do I have to feel like I'm about to start spasming and releasing cum and then just clamp down my muscles? Or get reasonably close and stop? How far is far enough?
The hobbies you probably have aren't major hobbies. I would suspect that, if your hobby has so much down time to look at image boards and stuff in between, that you're not fully engaged in it or that the hobby inherently wasn't meant to be fully-engaging.
Take up martial arts. Take up working out. Find something you're passionate about where, even when you're not doing it, you're reading about it, researching things for it, getting active in some sort of community (online or in person), ect.
Besides, if you're active, you're going to increase your sex drive and overall health (and therefore easier and harder boners). I'm not a doctor but I would suspect that since you're physically active, your body would be producing more hormones and increase semen production.
Fucking go bike riding if lifting or MMA doesn't suit your fancy. Hell, learn sword fighting at a HEMA club.