Need some serious advice here..... Not sure how good 4chan is it doing that....
So, here goes.....
I met a girl, I fell in love, she still loves her ex boyfriend, who is fucking dead.....
I ended up going round her house and she still has pictures of him next to her bed.... Does anyone agree this is fucking stupid?
She tells me she will never love anyone the same, of course she won't if she continues to hold on to him, when he isn't even there.
I have given her loads of chances to start coming around to her senses, and she always tells me she doesn't want to lose me, but she doesn't want anyone else but him.... I love the girl, it's difficult to let go....
Should I keep trying? Or should I just say fuck it....
>I have given her loads of chances to start coming around to her senses
dude, she's in love with somebody else. you're a consolation prize, either you need to man up and be okay with that, or move on.
It takes women a long time to heal and in some cases many years before they can move on. If you truly love her you will give her comfort and be there for her and sometimes that can be stressful on you too but just remember if u really care about her that much you will have patience
I have not told her how to live or feel.... I have just said it's wiser if she attempts to let go.
He has been dead for over a year, and they were together for 8 months I believe.
The worst thing is.... She was telling me she loved me, that she sees so much with me and wants to spend her life with me.... And then a couple of weeks later she starts talking about her ex..... So fucked up.
You can't compete with someone who was dead before he could do something wrong. After 8 months you're still in the "honeymoon" phase, and they were probably happy. She will always think "what if", and she will never have closure.
It will need time to let go. She should go to therapy. You should stop obsessing over her or expecting her to let him go and fall for you any soon.
>Does anyone agree this is fucking stupid?
the only stupid here is you, she doesn't need to instantly move on from somebody who she loved just because of you, if you're good enough for her(which probably you're not), you will take his place over time and she will let him go by herself, stop acting like a spoiled brat and respect the girl feelings or you will just push her away.
Stop being a selfish prick demanding that she just let go and forget her ex boyfriend. He died you idiot. Havent you ever lost someone before? The pain is out of this world. It's something that until you experience, you'll never be able to know.
It's conflicting and confusing. Healing isn't just something you magically do, it'll take years. It's not like replacing a dog you dipshit, it was another human being that she was deeply in love with. That trauma will follow her for the rest of her life. She'll always be looking up thinking about him, hoping he's looking down on her smiling.
Again, until you lose someone you love, you will have no idea what she and others like her are going through. You sound like a self absorbed ass-hat who's putting his own wants of bedding her ahead of her emotional health. Leave the poor girl alone. She's endured enough. Don't add more pressure and pain onto her.
It's ironic you say that.....
And what about her respecting my feelings? What about all the bullshit she has said to me and then out of the blue she starts talking about him again.... It's difficult for me, man....
And I think she is holding on too hard...
When you lose someone you love and someone else walks into your life, you feel guilty. You feel bad for moving on. You feel like you're not respecting their memory if you have feelings for someone else. You feel horrible, as if you were cheating on them.
She's not talking shit, she's feeling bad. If you love her, be by her side, support her, and take her to a therapist. If you don't love her, just let her go: getting over the death of a loved one is horrible enough without someone pushing you to do things you're not ready for.
Whatever she told you, it's not like she doesnt mean it.
But she's fucking confused. You would be too.
She shouldnt be in a relationship at all until she's finished healing-which has to be at her own pace, not yours.
Well I hope everything works out for u. I'm currently in a relationship and I still think about my ex because he fucked up my life and so on and so forth so it's really hard for me to let go but maybe one day she will realize that she needs to move on and live her life. Its just hard to let go. Just be there for her that's all I ass and yeah she was in a honeymoon stage still so she is gonna have those what ifs which just kills her emotionally right now. Take her out on dates and get her mind off of it it's always gonna be there in the back of her mind but just make sure u make her happy and maybe she will come to realize that she has a life to live I hope this helps u
She is the one with problem here, you should understand that, you should help her, not presure her, again, stop with this spoiled kid mindset, if you don't love her enough to go trough it, leave her and go find someone else free of drama.
Here's some advice; stop that. It doesn't make your posts any more dramatic, convincing or deep. It just makes you look like a self absorbed oblivious teen that watches a lot of dubbed anime.