this is a long post
sorry for the green text
sorry if sounds like autistic
Not asking you to read this but thank you for anyone who reads just need somewhere to vent out
>Be me 29. at the office while writing this.. not thingking straight anymore
>browse and see many them feels stories
>thought maybe if i share mine i will feel less (whatever it is im feeling)
>No spagheti No dinosaurs here
>this is what really is happening to me now
>bit of background
>6/10 maybe 7/10 guy me.
>Confidence 9/10...so add it up roughly 8/10 me
>never remembered that i was a beta since i started liking girls
>can easily talk to them..like breathing
>(not main story but i think somehow someway she had an effect on how or what i am now)
>call her 'cool'
>cool is my first 'real girlfriend' (serious girlfriend)
>Me and the gang where always hanging out and somehow Cool ended up hanging out with us which is a bit odd since she is a grade older than us
>cant recall it really so fckit
>tomboyish , short hair, petite, 'one of them boyz type'
>but she's a cheer dancer of the school, and boy she can move!
>she's also a womens varsity player of the school, and boy she can move! (but of course not as good as my crossovers!)
>She's my first fck.. it was the best!
>ofcourse i thought it was by that time since it was my first!
>Im also hers so its quite tight (even though my "energizer bunny" is not that big lol!)
>yes i named it that but not because its that small but it can go on and on and on!...or maybe its that small? hahah fck it enough bout me
>life is good, weekly f*ck at her place
>long story short thought she was the one
>i can trust this girl
>how dumb of me
>after 2 years she goes to college and me still on highschool
>one day thought about suprising her going to her place without telling her
>quietly sneaked at the backdoor
>slowly opened the door
>found her on top of a guy
>first thought was deymn she does have moves!
>F*CK IT! i stormed inside
>grabbed a baseball bat which is conveniently lying at the side of the backdoor i came in. raised it up my head and shouted on top of my lungs while briskly walking towards them!
>i kicked my girlfriend in the face immediately knocking her off
>i promise that i can sense the last thing she was thinking was 'what the hell hit my face?"
>she was out cold on the floor now
>then with all my strenght i gripped the bat and smashed that m*therf*ckin guys face maybe a couple of hundred times before i realized that there was a pool of blood covering the floor and half my vision is looking through a stream of blood.
>Then i came in to my senses
>like stepback from reality
>apparently it all just ran through my mind
>thats what i should have done!
>but i did not. instead i froze like a stone cold statue
>COld sweat running down my neck but i can feel my ear slowly warming up like its in an oven
>I literally dont know how to feel. I know im angry. I know i want to cry
>Im a pussy so i just channeled my anger down my fist and thrust it down to the marble floor while crying
>a loud thud stopped them from what they where doing
>they see me now
>they immidiately dressed up
>the guy dashed quickly out
>honestly this is the feeling that i would never even wish towards someone i hate. thats how bad it was
>thought i could trust you! i said. sh*t thought you were the one i said!
>sorry was all i can read from her mouth but that word did not register to my mind the way it was meant to mean.
>she somehow convinced me that she did wrong and somehow convince me that we should f*ck
>stupid that i was, i oblidged
>i was crying while doing it
>like a dirty whore is what im feeling. maybe even worse coz i continued the deed that was not finished by that guy coz i interupted
>i realy felt sh*t
> i remembered that guy! he was the one you introduced to me the other week as friend of your older sister who came by that time to borrow something!
>but I was too emotionaly and physicaly weak to even say a mumble
>it took me over a month to think thinks over and made up my mind to breakup
>I felt strong. I feel that i am invincible
>hey what else can hurt me after seeing what i saw and feel what i felt right?
>holding my head up high feels good man!
>she cries says shes sorry. (cue in Justin beieber's too late to say sorry song)(F*ck you justin shut the f*ckup)yes bitch its too late
>went separate ways
>she went on to have a boyfriend and eventually found a husband
>occational bootycalls with her. now im the 'other guy' of the relationship (still do it while her husband was away and her kid is watching but still too young to remember) coz i thought that time that she owes me that much and she agrees with it.
>bootycall gets less frequent as time passes
>then we went seperate ways
>not really coz we are on the same cirlce off friends
>still civilized and friendly towards her
>almost a year passed. i went out to date
>though im totaly over the hurt im still not ready for a serious relationship
>many girls come and go but will not include them in the story since they are not relevant
>call her 'Game'
>now college freshie. still in the prowl for college girls and still me not wanting serious relationship
>Game was the sh*t compared to the girls on my college easily 8/10 to 9/10
>great rack, witty,always the life of the class,
>always "game" to drinking till morning
>but a country girl, goes back home almost every weekend
>but has boyfriend, 3years going steady in fact
>inner barney in me says 'challenge accepted!"
>i dont know but for me it comes natural
>my philosopy then was it was easier to get a girl which is currently in a relationship since they are already tied down to their bfs
>the boyfriend stays at the country and visits Game at the college from time to time..they are in a long distance relationship i guess
>pfftt LDR dont work!
>started out the new semister crosshair locked on her
>started asking her out. ofcourse with her friends so i wont creep her out since we never talk then suddenly i just ask her out so i make it to a point that it will always be a group thing
>hanging out became almost daily routine
>after a week of innocent hanging out with her as 'just a friend'i started to make my move
>while sitting across her, i stare. i mean a fixed look direct in her eyes so long that i really meant for her to catch me looking.
>Then at the moment of eye contact i immidiately look away as if 'oh sh*t she caught me looking!' look
>then she smiles
>case you dont know, its a good sign that if you are caught starring but the girl did not give a 'whatda f*ck you looking at!?' look and instead gave you a smile with a blushing face. Its Game on brotha!
>so i know i had Game hooked to me
>Noooo you cannot unlatch my charms and cute jokes!
>a month of flirting and few drink overs shes mine
>of course she still has her boyfriend
>its cool with me, i said im not the jelous type. im the 'other guy' again
>boosts my ego like sh*t
>thinking they are so happy with their relationship but why do they still end up hooking up with me?
Jesus Christ man. Can you sum it up in like 2 sentences?
>ill just gonna play you up bitches till i find another prospect and move on
>thats how i think, thats how i roll!
>im the 'other guy' feels good deymn!
>about 3 months into the relationship, Game is getting all serious
>saying she wanna leave her BF
>"pffft go ahead, since im still having fun with you do what you want ill just dump you when im bored" is what i said to myself
>one time Game and I where out (i dont remember the place) eating then she suddenly hands me over her phone.
>just answer she says. "okey"i said
>it was her boyfriend.
>i was dumbfounded why the hell she hands me over her phone knowing that she was talking to her BF?
>Then the guy asked
>"are you realy with Game now?"
>"are you realy her new BF?"
>"do you know that she has a BF?"
>i blurted out just one word to answer all his questions. it was a crisp YES
>then i hanged up
>gave her back the phone while giving her a confused smirk
>saw her eyes feeling sad a bit
>but immidately turned into a wide smilling eye
>'were legal now' she says
>i smiled back but thinking 'im not the other guy anymore'
>no biggie. will just continue to do my sh*t
>didnt really think about that im in a serious relationship now
>but i go around the college with her like a trophy since all the people close enough to us new that i snatched her from her bfs arms like stealing a candy from a baby
>proud about the bad thing i did
>still go around flirting with other girls
>but no sex. not even kiss
>just flirt text and calls
>Game knows about it. Knows how i roll
>Game didnt care much since she knew better not to get jelous
>or so i thought
>she lets me do it anyway
>second year in college i decided to work part time coz being a playa cost a lot
>notice that most of the money i earn was spent towards Game and going out with her
>no biggie i said.at least im still having fun
>one day i received a text from her early morning
>'happy 2nd anniv love!'
>im in a 2 year relationship with Game!??
>that was quick!did not see that coming!
>am i in a serious relationship now!??
>i sit up but still in my bed
>recalled all the things weve done
>i felt happy, i felt love
>she stayed even though i put her through lots of bullsh*ts
>She stayed even if i flirt with other girls
>maybe i like Game, maybe i like game a lot?
>maybe im in love with her without even noticing it?
>went straight to shower to git fresh before going to the college
>when i arrived i immidiately saw game
>she is more beautiful than i remembered
>shes walking towards me with arms wide open
>gave me a kiss on the lips
>her lips is softer than i remembered
>i love her
>i changed my ways, i no longer do flirting
>i dont look at other girls anymore
>we made to our 4th year aniv
>im so happy. i think shes the one
>but by that time i lost interest to continue college
>desided to dropout
>found a new full time job
>ask her to move in with me... she did
>unlimitted love making
>this can go on forever
>she still goes to college. i go to work
>im on a night shift schedule
>when i get home she is just about to leave
>barely got talking time
>so whenever theres an opportunity we f*ck
>at weekends we go out with my usual circle of friends
>friends since highschool
>considered them as my brothers and sisters
>since im mostly at work and Game gets bord at home she goes out with my friends
>no biggie. they are my brothers. i trust them i trust her
>things became 'regular'
>nothing special...but i loved her everyday
>almost nearing our 7th year aniv
>can you believe that? 7 years?
>ill cut to the chase
>found out she was f*cking my best bud
>damn it hurts.
>thought she was the one
>but didnt hurt as much as it did with Cool
>i guess my heart without me noticing created a barrier to protect me from future hurts like i felt before with cool
>it hurted for an hour
>but then i easily got over it
>as in easily got over it
>no crying no drunk nights no nothing
>i just focused on work
>lets call her 'Main'
>petite, cute, loud, out going, easily 8/10
>she my team mate at work
>team is not that big round 30 people
>be with her everyday but just as a friend since she just got married
>knows what happend between me and Game
>feels sorry for me. no biggie i say
>the team always go out after shift almost everyday to drink two bottles of beer
>ofcourse we always go over 2 bottles and went home dawn then back to work at noon
>we are now on mid shift
>curious that i was i asked how come Main why is she always with us
>i mean does her husband know that she always go out with us drinking till morning
>she says its okey since her husband is on night shift and she will be waiting for him anyway before going home so might as well kill the time drinking
>her husband is working on the same company as us but different business
>cool i said
>so months passed this team drinking sessions continues
>Main and me gets close, close enough that teamates taks about us
>we shrug it off coz we are not anything but friends
>deep inside i like her already
>shes so smart, in fact smarter than me in everyway (Im mean this girl has skill when it comes to work, love and life) i know she will up the ladder
>so were close now
>she was lying to me
>not really lying but just being secretive
>turns out the reason she was always with us is that her husband has broken up with her 6 months into getting married
>turns out her husband is having an affair
>were so very close now
>we hooked up
>though theyre not yet divorced due to financial
>i thought to myself im 26, im not getting any younger. i need to get my sh*t together
>since whe both came from a recent breakup we should know better
>no more games
>things are pretty serious now
>i loved her she loved me
>i wont give her hurt the way i felt it before
>i wont do stupid things anymore
>shes my life