I don't understand /adv/.. I don't understand how one of my friends can convince a girl to come over to his place, EAT FUCKING CHINESE FOOD AND WATCH A FUCKING MOVIE AND THEN APPARENTLY HAVE FUCKING SEX.
I don't get it. I am not even after sex. I am 27 and never even had a fucking relationship. Its driving me nuts because no one can give me the correct fucking answer. I am convinced dating is just one big RNG SHIT FEST and that nothing you really do matters.
You could walk around flashing your dick at women and eventually one would say yes. Its just a matter of fucking time!
Nothing makes any sense and nothing feels correct. For example, if I talk to a woman on the bus, is that innately wrong? Like when is it okay to talk to women WITH INTENT to date. Assuming I don't go out to bars and shit(I don't).
What the fuck am I missing? I feel like I don't even have any dating prospects, like where the fuck are all the single 27~ year old women(with no kids, not fat and not crazy)?
I am starting to feel that the older I get.. the less likely I will find a woman with no kids.
WHAT THE FUCK am I doing wrong? I have tried to talk to women and I have been on a few dates but they always feel like pity dates. The woman never seems enthusiastic about it. Makes it seem like they pity me in some way.
It depends on your culture, the set-up kind of formal dates look a bit crap. In Asia it's largely arranged or friends, in Europe it's friends, in North America they pounce strangers creepily, in the Pacific they date friends.
What are you doing with your life? It seems that dateless people on /adv/ don't get the whole "having a life thing" and seem to be stagnant with no progress or achievements. That being the case they get confused by the whole "knowing people" thing.
Second question, do you have full conversations with female friends? Because first, that's how you get a friendly female buddy to have food and sex with, and second you can ask things like this to them and they will give you personal answers.
I don't have full conversations with female friends because I don't have any that I am in consistent contact with.
I also don't get the whole having a life thing. I work, come home, maybe work out and play video games. Its not very exciting.
Usually people have a lot going on in their lives, hobbies to get to, random projects, friends, parties, and families who want to go on holiday etc. For those who aren't busy and don't have a big interest in something there's ambitions. That could be work if the goal was the quickly climb the corporate ladder, but if work left to be monotonous it would be something else they do on the side. Doing nothing but ground-hog day is just wasting away days. Doing stuff comes with plenty of rewards, it's interesting, you can talk about stuff later, you'll meet people and open up opportunities etc.
Hopefully you'll find a good female friend along the way too. Also as an aside, the ones that look up to you (maybe you were better than them at something, a leader or whatever) and sometimes excited that you would think to talk to them. You can message those randomly and get nice replies.
If I live with an ex, should I wait to invite someone else over or just go for it?
She's talking to someone online which is different then my scenario and it'd be just cuddling on the couch no sex at most.
Well I would invite this girl over just to bullshit with when I was with my ex.
My ex says she doesn't care, but then went on a speech about how she feels it's fucked up I'm going after a girl that was constantly over here.
I want to make this work, would having a guy friend over too make it a little less awkward?
Honestly, unless you're willing to be selfish and make women uncomfortable for your own gain, there is no way but waiting until a woman thinks you're worth approaching on her own accord (desu, the only morally sound option)
If you're a good man, suck it up. Affection or intimacy is not something you're owed. If women do not outwardly show interest in you, you do not have the right to romance.
Female attention is meant for the exceptional, and sometimes also gained by sociopathic disregard for women's feelings and social coersion.
If you want to be somewhat righteous, accept that you do not deserve affection and will not get it. It's what I did, and there's some calm in that.
>How am I supposed to talk to women?
Pretty much the same way you talk to men. You do have to dial back the crude sexual humor, if you're into that sort of thing, but that's the only difference of any significance.
Uh women don't outwardly show interest at anyone.
How it's done is you make a move and if they are interested, you pursue, and if they are not, you respectfully back off and/or try again at some other time, within reason.
That you feel like you are hurting a woman just by approaching her is why women have no interest in you.
For the record though, because I know this post is just bait.
It's not bait, it's how I was taught to live and how I still live to this day.
Women do occasionally show outward interest, and it happens when a man interests them.
You say a man needs to make the first move but what if the woman in question didn't want you to, or has a reason to be repulses by you?
You can't say it's okay to make her feel bad just for you to find out what you could be worth to her?
I am not owed female attention, that attention is theirs to give as they see fit. If I go around forcing women to pay attention to me by talking to them, I am infringing on their freedom to decide for themselves who gets to talk to them.
And yeah, women have no interest in me, that's a fact. Especially because of that I know I don't have the right to make myself noticable. They don't expressedly want me to exist, so to respect that I'll have to minimize the effects of existence.
It's just what a person should do.
>but what if the woman in question didn't want you to, or has a reason to be repulses by you?
That isn't how it works.
The way in which you were brought up to view women is idealistic and backwards and damaging both to yourself and anybody else who is naïve enough to be infected by your verbal poison.
You feel like you're not 'owed' female attention because you're a sorry self-effacing low self-esteem cunt and it is an evil thing to do for you to, inadvertently or consciously, cast that mental poison onto others.
Women do not have a freedom 'to decide for themselves who gets to talk to them'. I feel like an idiot for actually typing this out because it's quite clear you're just a fucking troll.
I doubt if even he could give a REAL normal answer. With that i mean, maybe even he thinks he told you how to do it [ in case you would talk about it ]
but he probably do it naturally, as in he is just being himself, he probably picked it up somewhere by someone, his father bought another girl home every night , or his friend did ... whatever
what i mean is thats not something you can just learn like :
STEP 1 : Check on witch side of your car the tank is
STEP 2 : Go to the pump thats on the side of your tank
and so on, you have to feeeel it, or how to say it. But its not just some thing you just do and gg = automatic girlfriend
you, have too ..find, yourself.. i guess? i mean its different for everyone. Maybe it sounds good from his mouth and totally creepy from your. You probably get what im saying.
Oh sure be an asshole etc etc.. aha okay, how? You ignore a call from her? so what after that..? so no, its not just that try to hang out with ppl who go to clubs or something and talk with girls, you just gota get into that lifestyle,, or find your type of girl.
I just don't get what would be damaging about a world where people do not have to be bothered by undesirables.
And yes, I have no self-esteem because I have not earned it. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you are.
Some men are born valueless, I am one of them, and the amount of attention you are naturally given more or less determines your value as a person.
Sure, it hurts, and sure, my quality of life is not particularly high that way, and the same would be true for OP.
But judged by his past, and mine, we simply aren't good enough people to become happy, and that's fine.
Women do not think like men. When a woman more or less insinuates that a man is 'undesirable' it isn't anything really other than a passing remark. Nothing which sticks and indeed something which is quite subject to change.
When a man calls something or someone undesirable, he means it, he means to speak towards its prescription.
Women do not do this.
Get that through your very autistic head.
No man is born valueless unless he is stupid enough to believe that he was.
I can answer this.
He can because he isn't a beta fag like you
He has his own place
He knows a good chinese place
He is after sex, he makes his intentions clear without being a little whiny beta faggot ass bitch candyass motherfucker like you
He is confidence and doesnt give a fffff
The women I do know in my life all complain about how annoying and/or worrysome it is when an ugly/poor/maladjusted/badly timed man looks at them or starts talking to them.
They would not be complaining if it wasn't something that has to change.
And your value as a person is determined by the value people give you. If nobody needs you for whatever reason currently, then you have no value in life. Value in men is the measure of your usefulness to others, nothing else.
1. What I said still stands those are passing remarks and not said in the same way as when a man observes something
2. Majority of it is map-adjustment and flawed timing which can and should be ameliorated.
3. Value is NOT given by others. You fucking twat. You generate it from yourself by BEING valuable.
4. You are a complete cunting autistic shithead and you need to snap the fuck out of it or kill yourself.