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I need the advice of some femanons here
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I need the advice of some femanons here

"I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore"

What the fuck does this mean? Gf of 2 years left me and took our child. We still talk on a daily basis. Im a mess. This is absolutely destroying me.
How do I get her to miss me? How do i get her to fall in love with me again? Im so confused.
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>>16657163

She still cares for you a bit, but she's romantically done with you.

All you could really do is give her some space and hope she changes her mind on her own, but you can't force it.

Just let it go and worry about taking care of your kid. Better to have amicable relations with your child's mother than to go fucking it up trying to rekindle a pile of ashes.
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>>16657163
That means she's in love with someone else.
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>>16657163
She's sick of you because there is no spark anymore. The best thing you can do is give her some distance. She will come back when she realizes how comfortable her life was with you.

Do you think she may have cheated on you? I'm not saying she absolutely did, but one time I told my boyfriend this same excuse when I was interested in someone else
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>>16657195
No. I dont think so.
For the past year ive really been a massive douche. Neglecting her, acting like she doesnt exist. Been to concerned with gaming/ my friends. I didnt start really growing up until about a month ago, but apparently it was too late by then. We had a really bad fight and she left. I regret everything. By giving distance, do you mean cutting her off completely? or still maintaining contact but just not trying to converse?
I will do anything it takes to try and make things work. Im a wreck without her.
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>>16657234
This is important context. She's done with your bullshit, you waited too long to change and the resentment killed the love. Honestly, I'd say the relationship is dead at least until the resentment fades, and that could take a while if it happens at all.

But if you're really determined to get her back just be patient, not pushy, but when you talk to her make it clear you still care for her. Remain active in your child's life, if you can.
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>>16657189
This x1000
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>>16657195
>>16657234
Cont:
And currently, I'm trying to stay strong and become the man she fell in love with again. Not the man I am now. Before I got the job I have now, i was never able to afford internet, or games, or any luxury really. And it seems like that was when she loved me the best, is when I had no distractions from her.
I cant believe I let myself turn into what I did. Its not fair to my daughter. and it sure as hell wasnt fair to her.
I'm trying to show confidence, and show that I'm changing into the mature man i was when we first started dating, and not the immature kike I am now.
Even selling my computer and everything.
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She's just trying to placate you because you're emotionally volatile
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>>16657280
does your gf work? she might of done this to grab your attention and scare you because you have been neglecting her
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>>16657313
She used to. Not anymore.
Shes staying with her parents right now.
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Lmfao "I don't have a high schooler crush on you anymore so I am taking away MY child from the sperm donator."
Feminism, ladies and gentlemen.
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Let her come back to you on her own time. Just keep bettering yourself until then. If she decides to never come back, just try and see your kid.
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>>16657317
i think you have a right to play video games and chill with your friends as you work so you deserve leisure time. You should try showing compassion towards her whenever you get a chance and she needs to understand that you're tired from work and dont always meant to neglect her etc (i assume you are). the fact that you work and she doesn't gives you the upper hand. i mean you are the one providing for her and your daughter right now and she should appreciate it. she has it easy atm.
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>>16657346

what upper hand?

If she leaves, OP is on the hook for alimony and child support and visitation is at HER mercy

Soon he will be working 80 hours a week paying for her Gucci bags and manicures
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>"I love you,
She still cares about you, your happiness, and your wellbeing.

>I'm just not in love with you anymore"

She has, for whatever reason, lost attraction for you both physically and mentally.

It sucks, but you can't control the way she feels anymore than she can control no longer being in love with you.

For the sake of your child, please don't become bitter or let her, or yourself, use the kid as a weapon.
Put your child above your relationship right now and think about what is best for them. Even if she had stuck with you, it probably would have become bitter and you two either would fight a lot, or she would simply be miserable, neither of which is good for your baby.

It's going to hurt for a while, si take it one day at a time and always make your baby the priority, not the two of you.
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>>16657357
i was referring more to past tense and the assumption that they stay. i should of stated that. sorry. if she leave him then yes she will most likely get the child.
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>>16657346
This wasnt even a thing that i would just do after work. Even on my days off it was constant. I never payed attention to her at all. Even during her pregnancy, i probably made her feel so alone. It's not fair to her, how i acted. She deserved the world. Whenever she was working, she never spent a dime on herself. she spent it all on me and our daughter, and things we needed. I hate what i've done. she was the sweetest person in the entire world.
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>>16657384
Why did you ignore her?
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>>16657384
sounds like you have fucked up OP. how didn't you realise you where pushing her away?
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>>16657395
Because i was an immature cunt who didnt care about anyone but himself.
Like I said, i didnt realize this until it was too late.

>>16657398
I dont know. Whenever she would beg me to come to bed with her, so we can sleep and such i would just play it off as endless complaining. She even told me how she felt about this before. I never listened.
I never listened until about a month ago, but by that time it was far gone. she left about 2 or 3 weeks ago. It hurts like no other.
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>>16657384
Well, good news is that you sound like one of the rare people who realize their mistake and are willing to change it. Bad news is that you treated her pretty badly during a very important moment in a women's life-pregnancy and the year after the babies born.

If you are to win her back, you can't tell her. You're going to have to show her. Show her you got rid of all your distractions, shiw her that you will be there for that baby EVERY DAY, and WHENEVER she might need you. Nothing should stop you from being there save being stuck in the hospital.

Apologize to her over and over with where you went wrong, even if she tells you not to. And, if it doesn't work, be enough of a man to respect her enough to back off and let her find her own happiness, then never do this to someone else again.
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>>16657163
Update:
I have poured my entire heart out to her. I apologized for everything. After I sell my pc i plan on spending every dime that comes from it on her and my daughter.

I'm determined to change myself. I eventually asked her that once I'm confident in myself that I've changed if she would give me another chance, she said maybe. so there might be hope.
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>>16657507
Good. Now just don't fuck it up and I honestly hope it works for you guys.

I'm glad that you understand you fucked up, but I just want to re-iterate that you basically abandoned her during her most vulnerable moment. If she takes you back you have to make that up to her.
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>>16657163
This means that she just isn't feeling it anymore. She's done. I know because I feel this way about my husband but I haven't told him. I want out, man. I'm miserable, and if I continue this then I'll be miserable forever. That's probably how she feels too. Sorry anon
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>>16657163
>left me and took our child
>We still talk on a daily basis
Jesus, that's fucked up. I'm so sorry you ended up in that situation.
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