>In a relationship for a year and a half
>She is bipolar, but on meds and never seemed to bother her much
>Still goes to therapy and stuff
>Turns out her new therapist -thinks- she may be borderline, but can't make a diagnose one way or the other yet
I looked up the 9 symptoms, and what it takes to be diagnosed which is displaying 5 out of 9 of the symptoms, and she does in fact display 5 out of 9 of those symptoms, all in different levels of severity. She isn't like overboard on any of the symptoms, but they are definitely all there.
I'm pretty worried for our future. She seems to have been stable to this point, but I can tell she has been really struggling lately with shit going on in her life, and those symptoms really became apparent. They say that borderline's often get destructive towards their own relationship, but she hasn't done that yet.
Anyone have experience with this sort of thing? I really don't know what to do
Yeah, I have a family member with BPD. I do believe that there are borderlines out there with so much self-awareness and dedication that they can rein themselves in. If I had to guess I'd say they're about 1 in every 100 though. So maybe with the right diagnosis and help she can get a grip on how she acts. That having been said, the family member I was talking about is now estranged from literally everyone else in her life at a personal level including us and all of her former acquaintances. (She never really could hold down friendships.) We've all come to grips with the fact that she's never going to get better.
Fuck, that is not encouraging.
When she isn't stressed/overwhelmed she seems to have pretty good control over it. But I really don't know how I'm supposed to handle this.
I really do love her, but our future is looking grim.
Mood swings hard. Gets incredibly depressed (used to self harm, hasn't for a while), has anxiety attacks, gets terrified of me leaving her for no reason, and then gets paranoid.
Doesn't happen often, but when it does, it happens all at once.
My family has a lot of history with BPD too. Seems like the sooner you get the help you need the better off you are in the long run. If your girlfriend is already getting that help and has been stable for a while then I'd say things look pretty positive. Really it seems like you and her have just now realized the scope of her problem. Which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending partially on how you treat it. I would say the most important thing is not to let this freak you out or let you become too distant. Panic is the enemy here. Stay strong and supportive. I hope it works out for you OP.
There are therapies for BPD, DBT is very successful if she's willing to put in the work.
Everyone has issues and this is just a label. It's your call whether you want to stay or not. Try to picture what she'd be like 10 years from now, or how she'd be like as a mother. Might also help to talk to a counselor.
Alright, I'll look into those things. Mostly for now just going to wait and see what her therapist has to say, and whether or not she can confirm.
But I'll be staying in the meantime. I have no idea what a 10 year outlook would be, it could really go either way right now.