Hey guys, mid November, at around lunchtime at school, I get a text from my mom. My dad was taken by the police for something. We didn't know anything at the time, nobody in the family knew about it either.
(Some info, we're a lretty big family in the town we live in, and we have connections)
6 hours later, our lawyer calls us.
My dad has been arrested. (I also can't tell this because it would be super duper easy to pinpoint me with it, but I'll narrow it down to not being a violent crime) There is also a video of this crime being commited. However, I have not seen the video yet, as I don't want to. It'll make me worse, I know it.
Ever since then, even with the lawyer saying he's confident in this case, and the extreme support from our town, I'm scared out of my mind. Not only is my dad middle eastern (Lebanese) , but he's also a scary looking guy. I really don't know if my dad will make it out of this, and if he doesn't, I'm even more scared of the harm that could come to him in jail. (Being hurt, killed, ect)
How do I
A) calm the fuck down
B) help out my old man
C) stop being a faggot
Well, not only are you not telling us what happened, you haven't even looked into it yourself apparently.
So, next step would be to actually watch this video, I guess. Go from there.
Beyond that, you're giving us nothing to work with here.
Connections aren't that important if he's prosecuted. The most it'll get him is a good lawyer, but if it's before a jury and you're a wealthy family, there might be some resentment and inherent bias in the jury members, working against him.
What was the crime, anyway? Was it pedophilia or drugs? I don't really know what else it could be if it was serious but non violent
Sadly, can't disclose crime
Would be too easy to ID me, but I will say it had to do with cash. Dad was also in a small position of power. Nothing too big but he was kinda powerful. Plus, we aren't rich, middle class, so maybe the resentment won't build up.
first off - it happens. this sounds like something i could have wrote in college (lebanese family from east coast, lots of family, father, brother, uncles, cousins in jail all at some point).
Jail isn't as bad as the movies make it sound (guessing he isn't going to Riker's Island or anything).
Just be there for your family, don't be rough on your pops, and hold your head up. When my dad went in I was younger and had to carry that burden (lots of people gave me shit) but i think in the long run i gained lots of humility from it and can relate to things in ways that people who haven't experienced that can, if that makes sense
If you're middle class, then the influence that he could have isn't going to be as effective. Honestly, if there's a video then there's no much you can do. It's literally an open and shut case and he has to face the consequences of his actions
OP, it makes it really difficult not knowing the actual crime but I'll start anyway
> A). How do I calm the fuck down?
Just stop overreacting. What could possibly go wrong? Your lawyer has it in the bag, and like you said you have huge support from your local area. Seems like the most your father could ever get is a fine.
> B). How do I help my old man?
What can you do? You can talk about how your father isn't a violent person, Ect. Really, most of this question is answered with your first question (cont.)
Just to add, the people who have trouble in jail are younger guys, typically blacks afaik.
Older guys and especially guys there for non-violent and non-gang related crimes usually go in, get a prison job, and do their time. Guards don't want to deal with that shit and prisoners aren't going to get extended sentences or risk loosing teeth over fighting random people.
Thanks man, I appreciate it. Hopefully it all turns out well. Good to know jail isn't as scary as it looks.
That's the thing, we don't know how much the video contains. Lawyer says its extremely out of context, and pretty short, so I dunno.
Shit, thanks anon. I feel like this while thing is like a sucker punch that won't stop stinging, you know?
Nothing physical, thankfully. Related to money, can't say more.
Check my dubs.
One more thing.
How old are you? If you're still in high school - don't worry about anyone giving you shit, you'll be out of there and none of it really matters in the end.
>That's the thing, we don't know how much the video contains. Lawyer says its extremely out of context, and pretty short, so I dunno.
The fact that your lawyer is being pretty vague about this is pretty concerning IMO. Is your father on bail, or is he being held in remand?
Bail, and yeah, it does seem concerning. However him and my father are confident, so until I see the video (and post it for more anon opinions) I have no clue dude
And to all anons reading, how to prep for the worst? Going into college, so any ideas on how this might affect me? I know cash wise I might be boned, but I can't think of more.
Let the lawyers do their thing, are you planning on college? Will this have an effect on your funds for college potentially?
That needs to be your focus. Talk to counselors if you think there may be an issue. That's what they're getting paid for.
I think it will, what with lawyer fees and all.
However, I am pretty fit, and I may join the military for the college payment, was thinking about going anyway, so might be in my best interest.
Depends on how much your parents have saved up, how much the lawyers drain, and where you're planning on doing school.
Lots of kids go into school with NO money saved up, so at the very worst, you'll have to start there. But it really isn't the end of the world, just make sure you start asking questions now (not necessarily on 4chan - ask your school guidance counselors or college planners or whatever they call them).
You may need to do two years at a community college or smaller school (which is actually a good idea IMO [wish I had done that]) but it depends on what your parents have saved and the other factors I outlined before.
Honestly, we would be able to give you a lot more advice if you told us what he did. I don't get it - you're willing to post the video once you see it, but you're not going to tell us what he did?
Cuz I had friends in the army. Not sure if it's the best call. Especially for lebs. If your reason to go is for college money, you should seriously reconsider. I can go into detail if you want. My best friend enlisted when were graduated and he went to afghanistan. he filled me in on the whole program and at least how it worked out for him
You can't give OP any advice. You aren't the fucking lawyer. Legal shit is confusing and there are a number of different variables at hand which surely you can't comprehend (local laws, lawyer fees, priors, etc)
Supposedly around 10-20k, don't remember
Lawyer and my dad say there was money, it was supposed to be for a school renovation project like he's done before.
Same guy who accused him had also donated to said projects before too.
So my friend enlisted in our junior year and got deployed after we graduated. He is really bright but he lacked "direction" and felt that enlisting would give him time to decide what to do. To add to this, his family didn't really have much money so he took that into consideration.
I took the more traditional route to a degree so just to give a comparison of how things turned out:
We both graduate in '09. He spends like 4 or 5 years in the Army. He makes some money but when he gets back, he's now 22 or 23 and is starting college. So add 3 or 4 years and he is in his mid/late 20s with no debt and a college degree. Not bad, except for the fact he had to be in the army for 4 years. They own you. You will move where they say, eat when they say, your MOS will essentially be what they choose. It works for some people but it's something to consider.
On the other hand, if you take a more traditional route, you can work part time and go to classes. You may need to take out some loans but if you are smart about it it is manageable. You may find yourself doing internships and when you graduate at 22/23/24, you'll be able to get a real job and start paying back your loans. At 27 you'll be a little farther ahead than where you probably would end up if you were in the army. Plus your time spent was probably more productive.
Of course YMMV. It's hard to go into detail over the web and I'm sure others will object. I'll say one thing though - do not completely trust your recruiter. Read everything like 10 times if you do choose to go that route because they LIE LIE LIE.
You're in a vulnerable spot. Definately not the best timing but people have dealt with much worse. Just keep your head on your shoulders, start your college search or whatever ASAP (meet with your school councellours!) and if you do think of the army/navy/airforce route - PLEASE do not just trust what the recruiters tell you. They paint a very rosy picture but I can't say I know many well-adjusted guys who came back from the army. I think it's beneficial for certain people but there can be better routes