>Be me, 24 yo girl
>Start a new job in finance
>I'm one of the youngest people there
>Most of my colleagues are 30 something males
>These guys are huge arrogant assholes
>They keep teasing me all the fucking time
>I answer back jokingly at first
>I feel like I'm the butt of every joke
>Gets annoying as fuck because I feel they only do it because of my gender and age
What can I do to make this constant banter stop ? Is this what harassment is like ?
First thing is to think about this from their point of view. You're just a little girl. You don't need to be taken seriously. Anything you do needs to double-checked, and that means they could have done it faster themselves anyway. At best, you're entertainment. If you're not that, you're useless.
No, it's not fair. Deal with it.
What NOT to do: Call it "harassment" and report it. Now you're not only useless, but they don't like you either. This is how you get nowhere.
-CAVEAT: If you're ever touched in any way that makes you uncomfortable, ask for it to stop, and it does not - report it immediately. Same goes for blatantly sexual remarks. You might be a joke, but don't it be about your gender.
What to do: A good job. A damn good job. When they check your work, leave them nothing to correct. When you turn in a report, make sure it's one that will impress them. Show them you're capable of being more than their entertainment and they will begin to respect you.
Everyone starts this way. Not just females. New guy, new girl - doesn't matter. You're all equally useless and quite honestly a pretty huge burden until proven otherwise.
Assert your dominance. You're getting ganged up on because you're an easy target. What you should be doing is pulling no punches: call them limpdicks, call them over the hill, call them dirty old men, get under their skin in any way you can. You are the alpha girl and the world is at your feet, and your job is to be so awesome and make them feel like such shit that they rally around you as a leader.
Yeah I knew I shouldn't report it. It wouldn't achieve anything really.
I haven't been touched physically and the jokes aren't really sexual. It's like the teasing i used to get from my older brother when we were younger except it's all the fucking time.
I can't really insult my colleagues anon but I see what you mean.
Men operate on a different plane from women in this respect. Men don't think of it as insulting.
Women (normal standard average women, I mean) can't handle the bantz, either giving or receiving. They fear they'll look "mean" when giving and they'll get furious when receiving because they believe you're being "mean" to them. But men don't think that way.
When men banter, they're teasing. They're not insulting you. They're not trying to make your life miserable. They're trying to make a joke at your expense, yes, for their own benefit, and that gives you the right to do it back at them, and if you're successful, you win. Game over, roll credits.
If you're not willing to tease and be teased, how can you expect these banker guys to trust you? They'll think you're icecold and unapproachable, and that's absolutely the worst situation for you to be in, to be not "one of the guys."
Good luck, make us proud.
I would have to second this.
Gotta say, I was in a similar boat. I'm at 21 year old girl, licensed and working full time as a funeral director. Funeral service is very much still a male-dominated industry. While there are several other women working at our various locations, I'm definitely the youngest out of everyone by a large margin - both men and women alike. A couple of years ago, when I started my apprenticeship, most people's reactions were along the lines of "aww, you want to be a funeral director, that's cute." Can think of quite a few instances off the top of my head. Sometimes hinted at, sometimes out rightly said to my face.
Now, over two years later, I'm at the point where I'm taken seriously. I've proven my worth and earned my keep. You just have to press on, try to not let the comments get to you, and shine.
I get it. And yeah, it's fucking annoying. Thing is, they're more or less prepping you to be "one of the guys". You might be a pretty cool person - usually they're cold as hell for a good while before they ever get to that point. Seems like they took to you right off.
Like I said, show them you're good at your job. Only way you're going to get respect, only way you should. If you can out-drink them, that's a plus too.
(I do hiring.)
I'm a man and I don't agree with this at all.
I mean, I don't disagree with your analysis of their behavior (although it's also possible they're just sexist pricks.) I completely disagree that it's appropriate. When you go into work at any job that's not in an auto body shop, you put your professional face on, and that means behaving civilly towards your colleagues, even the newer ones. Teasing, bantering, and so on are fine when both parties are on-board with it, which in this case, they're not. You have an obligation to be courteous to your coworkers; whether you treat them like your buddies and allow them to speak to you as though they are is up to you.
Personally I'm happy to be friendly with anybody who initiates it, but if I had to constantly be on my guard and be thinking ahead to the next bit of witty repartee, I'd be exhausted by the end of the day and I'd never get anything done. That kind of behavior isn't endearing, it's tiresome. If anybody at my workplace treated me like that and refused to stop after I politely asked them to, I'd complain to HR and feel completely justified in doing so.