My dad hit my mom yesterday and my mom told me she is going to press charges tommorow and wants me to tell the cops what happened. However my dad is the only breadwinner in the family and we would be fucked without him. Should i support my mom or lie to the cops so i can eat?
They won't necessarily divorce just because your mom presses charges. However if you lie now your mother will forever loathe you. She'll see you as a traitorous liar who won't mind her getting beaten and who will take the side of the man who beats her up, even lying to the police.
Tell the truth, and if they divorce you can stay with your violent dad if you love him and his wallet so much. You both seem like cold-hearted scumbags, so maybe you would have a happy household together.
If this is true and you're actually considering lying to the police and hurting your mom even further, you're truly a horrible, heartless, dishonorable person, anon. Absolutely disgusting.
Then you'll get a fucking part-time job to help her support the family you useless little shit. Or again, why don't you stay with your dad. Also your dad won't go to jail for hitting a woman once, are you retarded
You're not only a traitorous piece of shit who won't even stand up for his OWN MOTHER, you're dumb as fuck as well. Dumb and evil. Nice combo
>she's big into enforcing the law
Um, it's against the law to hit people, no matter how much money either party has. That's not a feminism thing.
Probably not much will happen to your dad to be honest.
Gotta say, I am deeply impressed with /adv/ for casting angry mockery and insults at a 16 year old kid legitimately scared about the ramifications of his father being arrested for a violent act on his mother. Bravo, guys, way to go.
But then, I guess this site is, in theory, for 18+ only. So fuck 'im, right?
Anyway, OP, be honest about the situation, lying about it won't fix shit. Let the adults sort it out from there. Your dad isn't going to get the death penalty and you're not going to starve in the streets. You're right to be worried, but backstabbing your mother isn't the way.
violence against women is a much bigger deal now then it was back then and i don't want to save my dad as i want to save my mom and i from destitution, we don't have any family that can support us either
if people dont care about women then why has there been all these anti dv ads and all the ray rice crap with the nfl. I am disgusted by what my dad did but he is the only source of income we have and we are in for big trouble without him
Everyone needs to lay off you a bit you're not being selfish you're scared and dont know what to do torn between your mam and dad. Honor and survival.
But i gotta say even if he is the only source of income you gotta side with your mam and i know the idea of no money if one is scary but it's a much worse idea to have an alcoholic draining away at the money especially if he's beating your mam, it's very hard to face the cops when in an abusive relationship and she needs your support right now.
More info required
Home owned , morgage, or renting?
More than one car?
Family close by is....whose? Mom dad or both
Part of a church?
for every ad or article you see online there are probably thousands of rape and violence cases that get dismissed or never make it to court because no one cares or believes them. Nothing is going to happen to your dad.
Anon OP is an upper middle class pampered brat who literally watched his drunkard dad beat his mom for only asking where he's been - and is actually considering lying to the police (thus not only betraying and hurting his mother incredibly, but also communicating to both his parents that yes he believes mommy should be beaten up lel, and also causing his mother to have a reputation for false alarms and lying to the police) only because he doesn't want to experience a drop in his lifestyle. So what if his mom gets abused and beaten, and gets betrayed and backstabbed by her own child? The important thing is that OP gets a nice, comfy life.
That's INCREDIBLY fucked up and cold. Even from a 16-year old. Fuck I feel bad for OP's mom
OP, forget these the dumb fucking whores in this thread telling you to turn in your dad.
You mom is fucking useless, doesn't work and she's into feminism, she is worthless and your dad busts his ass to put food on the table and he gets bitched at for letting off some steam, my mother in law is the exact same way.
Here's what you do, tell your dad that you're worried about him and that he should seek some help, maybe AA and tell him that your mom wants to rat him out to the cops, tell him to hide his finances, hide his money, get a lawyer ASAP ect, so he can prepare for the divorce and thus be two steps ahead so your whore of a mother doesn't rob him blind.
When the divorce comes, side with your dad so you guys can grow up together and have a good life while your broke ass mom can fend for herself with feminism or whatever.
Trust me, I'm a child of divorce.
> letting off some steam
There are other ways to let off steam than punching your wife. Even if it was the wife coming home drunk and beating her husband, I'd be against it. People should not hit people because they're angry someone only asked where they were.
So struggle. What will you lose?
> bawww I'd have no cable/phone/internet/video games/designer clothes!!
But you'd make enough for food and gas/water/electricity/etc and that's more important.
How did he hit her. Did he slap her face or did he punch her in the ribs.
The distinction is in his intentions. If it was a slap on the face send them to couples therapy. Your mom is just butthurt. I wouldnt be surprised if she slapped your dad before.
If he hit her with the intention of hurting her than they dont need to be together. I wouldnt support your mom here. Tell her that youll only help once she tries couples therapy.
Why is she going to call the police when they can talk it out? He was drunk. Yes that's not an excuse but bringing the cops won't solve the problem either it'll only make things worse talk to both of your parents before it escalates.
Has he hit her before? How is their relationship?
The thing is that no-one goes to jail for one beating like that. He probably won't also lose his job unless it's a very delicate job where a flawless reputation is important, I don't know maybe working with small children or something. Most likely not. What will happen is that he'll get a small fine or something like that.
However, it will leave a minor note in the police files. So if it happens again, and again, and gets worse, your mother will be able to show that the violence has been ongoing and consistent. It's what everyone in violent relationships should do, file reports as soon as problems arise so there's evidence of how things progressed. And seeing as how your dad punched her in the stomach too - that's bad, that's real malicious intent, no longer just being a bit upset. Your father is dangerous. he will become more dangerous if he believes he can get away with it and that you support him.
But, if you lie now, you will signal to both your father and your mother that you think this violence is okay, that you accept it, that you believe your mother deserves to be beaten and that you will lie to cover it up. Your father will be emboldened, thinking that it's perfectly fine to beat your mom like that since you'll lie for him and also support him, so it's not so bad. Maybe he'll start to beat your mother more because of your wordless support and approval.
Your mother, too, will know that you believe that she deserves to be beaten in her own home. She's a housewife, so she makes your laundry, prepares your food, does the chores, and every time she sees you from now on she'll know that you're not to be trusted, that you betrayed her, that you so strongly believe she deserves to be beaten you even lied to the police to protect the person who beat her and to make herself look bad in front of the police. It's a knife to her heart.
How do you feel about your mom? Genuine question.
It's important to react to things like that seriously, and show that there's consequences to behaving as such. Also if the violence gets worse, (as it almost always does since people who hit once like that tend to do it because they think it's okay, and will thus do it later again) it's important to have official proof that it's happening consistently and is a pattern, which enables the authorities to do anything, otherwise it'll each time be just this one isolated incident.
However this one time won't ruin the man's life or anything, but it might be a wake-up call.
You don't "let out steam" by beating your family members, anon.
i love my mom and want her to be happy but i know this could put her in a very tough situation financially and i am going to college soon so that might be an extra burden if i dont get a scholly
Look their marriage isn't going to automatically end just because she presses charges. Your dad also won't be thrown to jail - unless he's been consistently beating her seriously for a longer time. I think that it'd need to be so serious she'd have needed to go to the hospital in order for him to get any jail time and even then it'd be unlikely.
What you should do though is talk with your mom about this, and tell her to start preparing to support herself if things go south with the marriage and she needs to divorce. It's bad if she has zero skills.
But if you love her, don't ruin the relationship between you and your mom because you want to shield your dad from a measly little fine or a little slap on the wrist. He won't go to jail or lose his job if you tell the truth, probably they won't even divorce - but you will lose your mother's trust and respect if you lie.
Has your father beaten your mom before? Has he beaten or threatened to beat you? How is he, in general? Is this the first time something like this happens, or has he been acting threateningly before?
Were you surprised he'd do something like this, or did it fit the image you have of him, of your parent's relationship?
>he slapped her and then punched her in the stomach
Alright he falls into the category of seriously trying to injure her. For now they need to be separated. Pressing charges might be a bit extreme but he demonstrated his desire to cause physical trauma. Couples therapy would probably be the best decision. But she wont decide that until her butthurt calms down.
If you don't get a scholarship... then work, and go to a community college for a year or two and get requisites done, get great grades, then get some grants and scholarships (and keep working) and transfer out to college. If you're poor you'll have a better chance at financial aid and scholarships anyway, especially if you depend on a single mom.
fuck dude. Money is not worth selling your mom out. You can always work your way around money, but you only get one family.
Well if it's the first time and your mom didn't get seriously injured he won't even get arrested, definitely won't go to jail. They probs won't notify his job or anything like that.
All it'll do is leave some official notice somewhere that yes, this happened. Not a criminal record, just a case file. It won't affect anything, except if things get bad and your mom needs to be able to prove he's been violent before. Essentially it'd just be a small brick in a potential wall of evidence, and if your dad is decent at all he'll get a wake-up call from having a small chat with the police now, and won't keep beating your mom and the evidence will never ever be needed.
Why do you think of your own mom as a ho anon, pretty cold
>Mom is a parasite who apparently doesn't know when to stop running her mouth
>Father provides for you like boss, is your FATHER, you have his name ffs
>You actually have to think about who to back
You're a special kind of ungrateful, you know that anon? Your dad probably got tired of being treated like a meal ticket and had to remind your cunt mother the order of things.