Is there really any point in coming out as ace to family?
"Hi family I've gathered you all here so I can tell you all about my sex life or lack there of because I'm sure that's what you all care about."
If they don't leave you alone about dates, maybe. Otherwise no. No one should ever bring up their sex life without a good reason. It's like barging into your parent's house while eating dinner to announce you laid some bitch last night. It's awkward and nothing people would like to know.
I don't consider myself "asexual" because it feels like another one of those LBGT labels.
Plus, I clearly experience sexual urges, but some asexuals tell me that's just my biology and not a measure of asexuality or lack thereof.
I'd say I have a phobia of sex more than an aversion to it coupled with a general distrust of women. The thought of sexual intimacy fills me with too much shame and fear that I think it's better for me to just avoid it.
In other words, if my family asks why I'm not in a relationship, I tell them I don't want one, am not ready for one or I'm just blunt that I hate women too much to fuck them even though I'm not gay (though I'm probably bisexual, but then I think everybody is somewhat bi anyway).
The thought of self-castration is actually more pleasing to me than sex and I can often kill my sexual urges by imagining being castrated instead.
No I quite litteraly have no sexual attraction my relationships and for lack of a better word "crushes" are based near entirely on personality and how well we get on together, my relationships and up being like a really really close friends kind of thing
Get over yourself. Sex is a natural feeling, and truly having sex with one you love (truly love) is one of the best feelings out there.
Just relax, connect with people and you'll see sex is just not that big of a deal, but more for nice, punctuated moments.
My family is the opposite of religious....so, not religious, but they are invasive and if they did somehow discover I was ace they would be so upset that I didn't feel the need to inform them...
People sure jump through a lot of mental hoops just to be able to label themselves something quirky and unique.
>oh I get attracted to women and get hardons, and I masturbate a lot, but I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, i-i-it's just biological!!
>Sex is a natural feeling, and truly having sex with one you love (truly love) is one of the best feelings out there.
I don't think it's wrong to have sex or anything. It's just for me, I feel more comfortable with myself and with others when I'm able to push away those sort of thoughts. And rather than considering myself "asexual" I think I'm just genuinely afraid of having sex or distrustful of women when I think they are interested in me in that way.
Life seems a lot easier for me when I just forget about having relationships like that. Maybe it's different with other people, but I'm not the type that thinks everybody deserves a good relationship along those lines. Maybe some people aren't meant to breed. If that's the case with me, I can find a certain peace with that. It's better than having to suffer through all the drama of a relationship I'm too immature or just mentally unstable to handle.
You don't sound asexual you sound like your trying to be a unique person which you are not, just suck it up and try things. you sound like you tried to get with people but failed so many times that you gave up. Hang in there OP your not ace
Are you too immature or have you matured beyond the primitive need for a sexual relationship? The reason people take pleasure from it is because of the end goal of continuing he population. I'd like to think we've evolved so that sex isn't required in relationships, it that's my personal opinion, anyone can have sex in a relationship idc it just ain't for me
>Are you too immature or have you matured beyond the primitive need for a sexual relationship?
I don't think it's right to consider sexuality "primitive" or evil or anything like that. That seems like it's a bit self-righteous or self-absorbed. Like you need to put down people who can have normal healthy relationships just because you can't.
Just because I don't think I'm fit for a sexual relationship doesn't mean I think I'm somehow better than people who are.
Okay that's what I was afraid if, hence the bit at the end, what I'm trying to say but it's too late for me to think we'll is;
I think we've progressed enough ord relationships to exist when sex is not involved, I couldn't care less of someone does have sex, it's just not for me
i ended my last relationship bc i stopped wanting my gf. She would get really upset and think that i was cheating on her, but in reality, i just didnt want to have sex anymore.
More than a year has passed since i broke up with her, and i had many chances with different girls, but i still doesnt feel the urge so i turned them all down.
Now, i found a girl who im really interested in, i think i could love her. Problem is, she already tried to have sex with me, but i dodged it saying that i dont want to rush things, and she accepted that.
But next time this wont cut it, and i dont mean to hurt her. what should i do, just fuck her anyway?
If i could, i really would just remove this aspect of the relationship, but i know that wouldnt work with her...
You sound exactly like my ex. He spent more time justifying selfish behavior than actually relaxing and enjoying things. Things eventually came to a head when I figured out that he didn't hate me and my body, but he hated himself and who he was. Being with him destroyed part of me, imagine someone you love announcing their asexuality, and how that made me feel. Maybe repulsive is too strong of a word, but I felt like he was trying to enable me to feel his self loathing.
Its not like i did it to hurt her. I ended the relationship to be fair with her. Actually, when i explained to her the situation, she wanted to stay together, to work trough it and shit. I knew inside that it wont work, and it hurt me a lot but i rejected her offer.
So i dont think i could have handled the situation any better. Its not a choice, it just happened.