There are both men and women on this world that are shy. But like you picture already showed, it's less socially accepted for boys to be shy then girls, so that's probably why more girls will be open about their shyness as compared to boys. (before you start feeling sad for yourself, girls have other issues).
>>16647964 >>16647965 This. Besides, we're talking about normies. You can't compare an average girl with a basement-dwelling wizard, their female equivalent is equally as foreveralone and a shy normie guy will still manage to get a girlfriend without settling.
>>16648027 Yeah wait until one obsesses over you and acts like a fucking stalker man you won't find that so funny desu. And it's worse when you're a girl because you probably can't overpower them if it comes to worst
>>16648041 Relationship material guys get hit on regardless of how extroverted they are. A quick scroll through /adv/ shows how pushy girls can be when they like somebody. you're better off without the mind-games and not-that-into-you types anyway
>>16647826 I've been pretty shy my whole life. I was selectively mute up until third grade. I only had one friend until 7th grade. After that, I had other extremely shy acquaintances.
Came out of shell a little in high school because I joined a sport. I remember when my teammates asked me to hang out with them. I turned red as a beet and had tears in my eyes because I was never asked to hang out with anyone.
Now I'm 23. Still have about 3 close friends. Still turn red as a beet if anyone asks me something. Still get horribly choked up if asked questions on the spot. Still don't approach people and spend most of my time at home.
I dunno, I've been this way for life. I usually don't tell people "I'm shy by the way." because that seems weird.
I think the difference is that you are talking about occasions where a guy and girl meet at a birthday party or some other "normal" event. And he's talking about getting some action in a club. In that way you' re both right.
>>16648079 I was thinking more in terms of acquaintances and people you somewhat know then complete strangers. As far as strangers, the only criteria you're going off is looks and possibly a shared interest (both jogging, a concert, whatever), this is definitely a very unlikely scenario for a girl to make the first move
I'd describe myself as "shy" because I don't feel the need to speak or validate myself in front of people I don't know or have no interest in knowing I guess that's more reserved than shy If I'm around a guy I'm really attracted to or have significant interest in then I will be "shy" mainly because of nerves and not wanting to embarrass myself, low self esteem etc.
Isn't this obvious shit
I guess some girls would describe themselves as shy to sound cute "Lolz hehe I'm shy :p ok fine lets do anal c: "
>>16647826 This picture speaks the truth, I'm shy and spent 7 years as a shut in but also really cute, I'm 22 but I started my first job in October last year, everyone notices I'm shy even if I deny it. People (women and men) are really nice to me and understand my autismal behavior, try to be friends with me, etc.
I don't know how it is with men, but confidence is easier to build than good looks (which is what women are worth for and good looks don't last for long)
OP should stop being a fag and build his personality instead of expecting for women to fall on his lap.
>>16648246 Fine, men have it easier to look good and for longer, they can also get really rich, women only have looks than don't last. That guy should go on a diet, taking care of yourself is being confident.
Shy as >>16648101 described it is socially acceptable. Crippling shyness like >>16648073 is a personality flaw holding them back from enjoying life and a deal-breaker when it comes to the opposite sex. A certain amount of confidence is necessary to talk about needs and problems with your SO
>>16647826 >Why do women describe themselves as shy or quiet? Oh, Christ; you just HAD to come back, didn't you. This board was a noticeably better place during your hiatus.
Women call themselves shy or quiet for the same reason men do: to try to put a positive spin on their social phobia. And while it does seem to work slightly better for women than men, the difference is slight at most and shrinking quickly, as the old gender ideals fall away.
>>16648322 Few people are so ugly that they look below average at a normal weight, good hygiene and clean simple clothes. Not so much effort. Being extremely shy is not a static trait like height or the shape of your nose, it's a problem that can and should be dealt with. If you're starting at the bottom of the ladder you're gonna have a hard time in both situations
I'm interested to hear examples of situations where being shy or fat can't be fixed. Where an effort was made and they failed. Fatty going on a crash fad diet is not a good example much like just trying to talk to people without addressing social anxiety issues isn't going to do much good.
>>16648290 Usually around people I'm comfortable with, I'm very bubbly and confident. I am very slow to warm up to unknown people. It's never really gotten in the way of my relationship. I've been in a healthy relationship for 4 years.
It's hard to make friends and talk to acquaintances, it was actually easier to date my boyfriend, but I think we had good chemistry from the start.
I wouldn't call the shyness a personality flaw. I also have general anxiety disorder. But I wouldn't say "social anxiety" because to be honest that sounds stupid (in my opinion) because social things worry me less than other things. I don't know why I choke up and turn red, it's like an automatic response when I'm caught off guard.
>>16647949 Man I'd never need attention again if this were really happening.
I'm actually legitimately shy and though I smile a lot, I have a tendency to come off as cold because I will withdraw into myself.
But one of my nervous tics is talking a bit excessively, so I go from one extreme to the other. Guys I like really intimidate me, though. I'll stare at my phone for an hour trying to figure out how to respond to a text.
>>16648852 No you fuck. That's the point. You "coming off as cold" means there are people that are with you and at interact with you for you to come off as cold too. Your talking means you talk to people, presumably. And there are guys you like who text you for Christ's sake.
Guys who are shy, really shy, don't have any of that. They literally don't go anywhere but home to supermarket down the street for 6 months at a time or (some) even years. They work from home on their computer. They have a panic attack when the cashier asks them how they want their groceries bagged.
You don't fucking have this. You aren't shy and you aren't getting it because you're a women and it doesn't occur to you that a lot of men actually life like this.. Your life is so much easier than you realize.
Good God it's like when a 10 year old living in a suburban neighborhood with 2 parents and a functional family tells you how bad and depraved his life is, but it's not a ten year old, it's women who are supposedly adults. Fuck off you haven't got a fucking clue what you're talking about.
>>16648006 Who should I pick and why? Option A: >party animal >flirts openly with a lot of girls in front of me >drinks heavily >has my number but never calls Option B: >only calls after he breaks up with someone >hit me once >emotionally manipulative and abusive >gets chewed out by his ex for talking to me Option C: >borderline alcoholic >only recently employed after a job drought >26, no car no license >lives with an enabling mother Option D: >cook at a local restaurant >lives right around the corner >not sure if car/license >self sufficient >seems legit Option E: >self proclaimed prolific cheater >parties so much he misses a bunch of work >gf finds out about cheating >he starts acting like he wants to be my man >nope.gif I don't want to get cheated on >wtf am I doing with my life.jpeg >typical hypocritical woman.gif
These are my "viable options". It's obvious who I should go for, but that's a taste. Two options are ex boyfriends, can you guess?
>>16648896 Sweetie, what you're describing isn't shy. It's fucking anxiety. Seriously what the fuck. I'm really fucking shy and quiet at first but once I trust someone all bets are off.
People who are how you describe have a problem that needs to be addressed because it is not shyness. Shy doesn't mean you don't understand social cues, or you have a panic attack because your fucking cashier asked you if you want paper or plastic. That's goddamn social anxiety, and I fucking overcame that shit.
I seriously had to talk myself into going into a grocery store for thirty minutes because I thought everyone was staring at me and it scared the hell out of me. I had a panic attack in line because it was taking too long.
I got therapy and figured out how to deal. Because one more time, that shit isn't normal, you special fucking snowflake
>>16648223 >be me, male >depressed in highschool cause problems at home >became shy >got bullied >learned to defend my self verbally and physically so no bullying at the end of hs but still no confidence >got into college >be quiet and shy >men ignore me, many women too, but I think the women were kinda understanding >feel like an outcast >eventually gain confidence and become outhoing again through martial arts, liftan and new friends >acuire girflriend >she's shy, even more so than me back then >people think it's adorable, are very giving and understanding towards her
the only difference is i'm a 5/10 male and she's a 7/10 female
>>16648006 >a guy would be happy if he had ANY 12 girls lusting after him.
Nah, that's bullshit. As long as there's no-one, people tell themselves "oh, I have no standards, I'd be happy for anyone at all ;_;", because they can't see their own standards because they haven't been used yet. But as soon as someone who doesn't meet the standards gets interested in them, the standards suddenly appear.
I've seen a lot of guys complain about it, how they're a bit shocked since they always thought they'd be happy with anyone, and now someone is interested, they're not a disgusting landwhale, so the guy should be happy, right - but instead they can't bring themselves to get interested.
No human is happy with "just anyone". Everyone has standards and aspirations. It's human behaviour, not "female privilege".
>>16648246 The vast majority of guys don't look that bad though. Le confident meme is very accurate because for most guys, it's confidence and how they act (and of course general appearance, hygiene, etc) that'll really decide whether their average but okay looks will appear creepy and loserish or attractive and dateable.
It's lack of confidence, among other things, that's the downfall for most perfectly average guys. That's why it's repeated so often.
>>16651252 Are you American? In many areas in the US, a car is an absolute necessity to moving around especially in the suburbs, because there is no functioning public transportation and there are no sidewalks or bike paths (except maybe in the city centre). So you either have a car, or get driven around by someone with a car, or stay at home.
You know that 1. being shy kind of makes you hate attention unless it's by very careful and gentle people, and 2. the shy women you mention probably find the idea of being sexualized and infantilized as "cute shy girls" pretty fucking revolting, and 3. it means they are probably very prone to emotional manipulation and have a high chance of ending up in an abusive relationship that turns their life into utter hell?
>>16652653 There is a huge difference between the Nice Guy meme and a nice person. No girl wants an abusive, manipulating asshole or finds those traits attractive. Chads get more girls not because they are more attractive but because they have a wider social network, spend more time surrounded by large groups of people and hit on girls constantly.
>>16649486 Option D is who I'm going for. >>16650588 Yeah, only I'm not that bad, I'm just too busy in my career to really put myself out there. >>16651252 Like other anon said, it's only a point in two options. And I've had a license since I was sixteen, and cars almost solidly since then.
>>16648955 Either C or D a part of me says C because in your position i would stwp out of my udual role and try to help c out oh his alcoholism, which is most likely how he copes with some situation, but i like trying to help harmed people a bit too much and that sounds doable, the cheaters and people eho party, fuck no
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