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>be me in late 2014
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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>be me in late 2014
>some guy randomly messages me
>talk for hours right away, gosh he is amazing
>meet up, everythings cool, he's nice but tells me he's broken up w his girl 3 months ago
>"don't overthink it, i'm over her"
>have a wonderful thing developing for 2 months, everythings cool
>shortly before christmas it's his birthday
>"i got a nice gift for ya, it's 2 tickets for a show to your fav rapper in a city u love"
>his reaction doesn't go as planned
>christmas, i ain't gettin no gifts
>he's away for the holidays, i miss him, he tells me he's gonna be back and i shouldn't stress it
>he comes back, we make love, he calls out another name, tells me it's a girl he's become friends with
>i found out she's 7 years older than him and relatively well known, best friends with celebrities
>me sad af, he starts the whole "i ain't ready for a relationship" bs
>i leave in the morning, we decide to be friends
>he still sends me qt messages, kiss emojis, all kinds of stuff, but starts rarely texting me
>all of a sudden he is away in another city, and posts pictures with that girl
>of course i stalk her page, she posts a ton of pictures with him and yup, he breaks my heart
>i confront him, he tells me he just needs his time off and he'll message me


next time i hear from him was about five months later, tells me he's sorry
we decide to meet up, but that never happens
i always get caught up in my emotions, told him i missed him over again, he tells me he always wanted to see me again. forgot something at his house and he "doesn't want to throw it away"

about 3 months ago i deleted him, blocked him, wished him good luck and told him i didn't wanna continue this bs
i met a new guy and i'm happy af
but why is it so hard for me, he's just that kinda person i thought i belonged with, that i could grow with. we have/had so many things in common and i learnt from him. really he was the first guy i could trust, but he just shattered it.
Hit me with ur opinions /adv/
>>
I'm in a very similar situation and although I know how hard it is to accept, we have to realize that we weren't as important to them as they were to us. All we can do is move on and try to meet someone who returns our feelings.
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>>16647756
i know, i know. i feel you. and i can assure you that finding that person will be great. actually,
i'm in a really nice relationship right now with a guy who just fits my personality incredibly well.
he handles me at my worst and i appreciate that to the fullest. we too have a lot in common and he wants to grow with me. he'd never just leave me hanging.
i don't even want to think about my ex, but i always fall back onto it, and then i keep looking at their pics on social media. it pisses me off, but i can't stop it so far, although it's been a year. i really love my boyfriend, but i don't understand my behavior.
would you be interested in texting via skype?
>>
>>16647775
Was in a similar situation, for me it was part morbid curiosity and partly because my ex hurt me badly and after we broke up he ruined his life and mine has been a dream, I know it's immature but it feels like second-hand revenge and it makes me happy.
>>
>>16647788
i gotcha. last year was great, i met tons of other guys but none of them were special to me. it's just when you feel you click with that one person it's something special. maybe that's just an illusion, maybe it's kinda wishful thinking, cause at the end of the day that person didn't feel the same. i always wonder what'd happen if he just realized what a good girl i am and tried to get me back. we often talked about how well we clicked, and it was sincere, that's why i'm still crazy about how he left in the blink of an eye. i'd been disappointed dozen of times and it seemed like he was that one guy i deserved. in the end, he was the worst of them all giving me the ultimate heartbreak.
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>>16647802
I'm sure the chemistry or whatever you want to call it was real but flaking like that shows some deep character flaws, nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Be optimistic, don't settle for someone who's seems like the proper choice but who you don't click but don't ignore how somebody treats you just because you click.

I don't really believe in soulmates and ~one true love~ so I do think you didn't miss your only chance at love.
>>
>>16647775
Stop lying to yourself.
You girls are obsessed with them cause they've hurt you, and that's something that sticks with you for very long, you become obsessed with them.

Just block and stop looking at them, it'll go away with time if you LET IT GO.

And stop saying 'I love my bf very much', that's what everybody says as an excuse when they're obsessed with someone else.
>>
>>16647802
>what a good girl i am and tried to get me back.

>>16647756 here again. This hits way too close to home. I held onto that hope for so long but we really need to take our happiness into our own hands and gain some self-respect. It's cliche and stupid but it's literally their loss.
Eventually I realized I can't keep holding on and putting my life on hold just because he MIGHT come back one day. It hurts but it's done and we need to respect ourselves more. All we can do is hope that some day when they have screwed their lives up by being assholes they will think back on what they had with us and regret it.
You should block him on any chat apps and social media sites, tell yourself you absolutely can't lift the ban and try to focus on the good in your life and you new relationship.

As for Skype, would love to but I don't really have a 4chan one. Any in any case I think we'd just keep each other dwelling on the bad situation haha. I should take my own advice too and forget he ever existed.
>>
>>16647802
>>16647834
Sorry my wording and grammar are so weird, I'm not a native English speaker and I'm tired
>>
>>16647802

Don't know how I can put this in more gentle terms, but you should really man the fuck up.

I felt a really strong connection for a woman but she rejected me, and it fucking sucked...but I also understand that feelings can be a one-way street. If someone doesn't feel that way about me there's nothing I can do about that, just like with all the other "average" guys you dated there was probably a few of them that were really into you but you dropped them like a rock.

The guy you're thinking about pretty much did the same thing to you, it's a shitty deal but it happens.
>>
>>16647843
It's one thing to be rejected but another to be in a relationship and dropped so suddenly.
>>
>>16647850

Not really.

What was the saying? Girls can fake sex, but guys can fake an entire relationship.

The dude didn't give two shits about you, you were just side-pussy. Like really, a break? I wouldn't leave my current gf for anything, that's how strongly I feel about her. "Suddenly" dropping a relationship is just a guy getting bored and not worth the effort because the sex isn't doing it or whatever.
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>>16647834
you're right. i need to hear that.
>>16647835
thank you. i needed to hear that. and it's not like i'm obsessed with him and can't focus on my boyfriend. i really appreciate him and feel bad when i look through the other guy's social media. it sucks and i know that. i need to get my sshh together and let it go, you are completely right.
>>16647837
yeah, true. just need to let it go and know i'm much more worth than that. it's weird because i don't even know why i always get back to thinking how i hope we will be friends one day. i just don't understand why he behaved like that. if i look at his current "girlfriend" (im not sure of that, its the girl whose name he called out and when he called me, told me they were still just friends) i am surprised. i always think its just the fact he needs that celebrity status.
and i agree, you should take your own advice. i know its either to give it to others than to do the same thing.
>>16647843
yeah now that you mention it i did reject two guys. but thats not comparable really because i didnt meet up for them for 2 months straight just to leave them again. i think he mightve used me to get over his ex but that doesnt explain why he wants to keep my stuff and meet me in the future.
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>>16647863
What's your point exactly? There's no way of knowing what the other person turns out to be in the end.

Also not her.
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>>16647863
well the thing is i wanted him to be really honest with me, he said he just needed some time off and would eventually message me again.
he's in a difficult situation, he didn't put effort into decent studies or training yet, he is pretty much a wanderer, makes his money by waiting at hotels and shows, and tattooing in his freetime. he's really into a lot of the same things and our mindset goes into the same direction, it's just that he clearly didn't want me for a relationship. i've grown so much since then and i wish we could talk about it, but why bother if he doesn't care?
>>
>>16647877

There are a LOT of guys who date women for the sole express purpose of sex. They will fake all the relationship stuff just to get a fuck, those are typically the relationships that peter out after a few months before the fun of fucking is over.

This sounds exactly like what's going down, but the girl is hoping he's gonna come back like an angel...just trying to give a reality check here.
>>
>>16647884
>>16647863
and i didnt mean to say that im as much of a wanderer as he is. i'm really focused now and getting my education right, and at the point where we "dated" i was as lost as him and think i dragged him down. i think him meeting the girl with celebrity status mightve been a push.

tell me why did he call me?
>>
An asshole, through and through, however, at least he had he decency to admit and seem to be polite about it. Which, incidentally, I find funny, because I imagine him bearing multiple forms of evidence and exposition.
>>
>>16647892
Sure but I think everyone things their man isn't like that and it hurts when trust is broken. Say what you will about grills but they can be very naive.
>>
>>16647893

>tell me why did he call me?

Back-up plan.

I know a douchebag who called up his ex only because his current gf caught up to his shit and broke up with him, he would have NEVER called his ex if his current gf didn't leave him.

Some guys are shit, sorry.
>>
>>16647868
>>16647884
I have a feeling that
a) you don't actually have a need to talk to him, you just want to show how much you've grown and changed because you fantasize he would fall in love again and see his mistakes and all that romance novel crap

b) you're the type of person who agrees with advice and then goes on to forget it and go back to doing what got you into trouble hours later

If I'm right, you're hurting yourself more than he did with leaving
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>>16647898
i swear it was so unexpected. i mean in the last 1 week i felt something was different, when he celebrated his birthday prior to me being at his house, with all his male friends, and then talked to me how "he would only celebrate with people who are close to him". that fckin hurt. he was always so nice, polite, and really a gentleman, great and sweet, but i shouldve realised much earlier it was just his way to get over his ex.
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>>16647908
i'm shocked you kinda figured it out. actually yeah, me wanting to show how much i've grown is the main force behind me wanting to talk to him, it's like, deep down i want his attention, i guess so. but i just want it to end really, like i said, i wanna focus on the new guy. i was just thinking about venting in a letter and sending it to him, but that could be too much. maybe just swallowing my pride and ignoring him is easier than that.
yeah i'm one to hurt myself very easily and stupidly, you are right. i want that to stop.
>>
>>16647927
It takes a lot of time to change how you behave and think but it's definitely possible and you're on the right path if you're aware of what you're doing. Accept that you're flawed and stupid in some ways like everybody else and just make a decision not to act on it, with time the bad habits will die off.
You might be completely honest with yourself that you don't actually want to get back together but feeling the need for your ex's attention is unfair to your boyfriend who seems like a good guy
>>
>>16647927
You're never gong to get a 100% all loose ends tied situation, it's better in this situation to let go. At this point you're just trying to impress a stranger so you would be the overall winner but most likely he wouldn't react like you hoped and you'd be worse off
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>>16647938
do i need to block him? i feel the urge to do that, just to make sure he can't get on my profile, and to make sure i don't want that attention. just to validate the impossibility.
>>16647951
right. that's very true. i need to cut him off.
it's just so weird, i never met a person like him. interest wise. y'all tell me let him go, it doesn't make sense, but i fell so hard for him, it's really hard to let go. i will be strong though and realise how stupid it is.
>>
>>16647995
Block and delete sister.
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Opinion on what? Why is this board filled with inane women who don't actually want advice and just attention today?
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>>16647726
You have a very rich fantasy.
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>>16647995
I was hung up on a friend who led me on for a long time. I was sure he's irreplaceable, and he is such a incredible human being that he is very hard to replace. Still, he was a piece of shit for leading me on for so long and using me. Some time later I can see how much of him I romanticized and how flawed he was. Not a nice guy.
>>
>>16648018
what do u mean?
>>16648024
it took strenght to realize that i'm sure. i'm glad i've only known him for 2-3 months, and that he wasn't in my circle of friends
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>>16647726

Someone might seem perfect for you, doesn't mean you're perfect for them.
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>>16648057
/thread

Also, emphasis on "might seem"
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>>16648057
yeah..true....
i just blocked him on all kinds of social media.
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>>16647726
>he calls out another name, tells me it's a girl he's become friends with
>become friends
is that what the kids are calling fucking these days? I ask because they were fucking.
Thread replies: 35
Thread images: 1
Thread DB ID: 378339



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