>gf gets into metal
> awesome at first
>take her to see a local band Ive loved for years
>gf starts following one guitarist on facebook, twitter, instagram, wants to go to all their shows
>don't mind because I really like them
>meet guitarist after show, he's pretty cool
>Introduce gf to pretend I'm not insecure about it
>make joke later that she owes me for introducing her to her boyfriend
>few days later tells me she wants to message him to buy me a shirt but is too nervous
>mfw I don't want a shirt and I could easily buy one at a show
>start noticing shit is obviously getting weird
>check messages, texts, find nothing
>few days later its Xmas, shes drunk and I overhear her talking to a friend about how attractive he is and just going on and on about how much she wants to fuck him (implied, of course)
>mfw xmas is ruined
>mfw I no longer like the band
>mfw she wants to go to one of their shows next week and I really fucking don't want to.
Bleh. I know I'm being insecure and childish but the whole thing just ruined a lot of things for me.
Talked to her about it and she apologized, seemed like she legit felt bad. Eventually we agreed to pretend it never happened but I still can't get over it.
Just kind of sucks because this is the first time in 3 years she's shown signs on being a skank. Kinda made me respect her a fuckload less as a person and made me contemplate doing the same to her.
Sorry for the rant, it's just been bugging me a lot. Part of me thinks I'm overreacting but my gut tells me this whole situation is bullshit
Women are horny, and rock stars are sexy. Just accept the facts as they are, we're just ordinary people after all.
Nothing you can do about it pal, but after all she's still fucking you, so you got no reason to be upset. Tbh I would fuck Sophia from Obscure Sphinx any day.
There isn't anything wrong with feeling an attraction to someone when you're in a relationship, but it's really inconsiderate of your feelings for her to talk about him like that, and to be constantly trying to contact him.
>She's shown signs on being a skank
But then again, since you're so willing to call her a skank, and talk shit about her on an online forum, what does that say about you as a bf?
Think about it this way. Have you ever said to a bro that you wanted to fuck a specific celeb? I've done it a millions times. Does this mean I will fuck this celeb with the risk of losing my relationship hell no.
If she got a crush (this happens in any relationship) its probally because you hypes the band to her as fuck.
hahahahahahaha you faggot. All this bullshit that's about "insecurity" is actually the faggots in this site talking. It's an illogical myth that keeps getting propagated that absolutely makes no sense.
>Guy slaps gf's ass, gives a little finger and you get mad
>OP YOU MUST BE INSECURE
>Guy grabs your ass at club, gives a little finger and you get mad
>OP YOU MUST BE GAY AND INSECURE ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY
>Man anally penetrates both you and your girlfriend at the same time
>OP YOU MUST BE INSECURE
See how it works? You fucked up the moment you served up your bitch in a silver platter. No heterosexual man would've passed up that opportunity. Quit being a cuck and start to respect yourself a little bit more, man.
Yea man, this should be a valuable lesson to you. Women have no loyalty. They're loyal to whoever is more interesting, confident, attractive. Its also been known for years that guitar like a nice car, is a pussy magnet...doubly-so id you are in a band.
Dont think for one minute she wouldn't cheat on you if this guy made a pass at her in private.
Based on her behaviour, I would end the relationship and look for someone else.
Anon you are kind of retarded. The rocker guy has not touched his girlfriend. All that happened was she told her friend how hot she thinks he is. And now OP is panicking and thinking she's a skank for *le gasp* being a human being. Those are completely different situations.
Project much anon? Attraction =/= action. You're seriously telling me that while in a relationship, you've never found another human attractive, ever? Bullshit. Just because you think the girl who made your coffee is hot doesn't mean you're going to excuse yourself from your date to fuck the barista in the bathroom.
>check messages, texts, find nothing
If you didn't find anything, there's probably a good chance nothing has happened and the dude just happens to make her underwear wet. Usually when people begin to cheat, they don't cover their tracks extremely well, because they rationalize to themselves that they haven't done anything wrong.
I would maybe suggest just distancing yourselves from this band for a while. Explain your feelings to her, which it sounds like you already did, and focus on the two of you to get your mind off it. What did she say when she apologized? Did you or her mention what was said when she was drunk?
Of course, as a guy I notice attractive women all the time in day to day life, as do women with good looking dudes. The difference is I dont start tracking them down through social media solely based on attraction. I also dont openly, drunkenly talk about how hot the starbucks girl is, (that i tracked down on facebook), and how I want to slam my dick into her.
This is what this girl did. It isn't as innocent as you people are letting on. Its not like she seen the dude and made a mental note "wow...good looking guy" and went about her business. No, it went further than that. Also, I take it youve never been to a show before? I used to play in a band as a guitar player and I have been to tons of shows. Anybody can access the band after the show. Its a fucking bar with an easily accessible VIP area. You dont think girls that found us attractive wouldn't try and get in the back to party with us? You dont think we wanted that to happen? Its one of the perks about being in a band. OP said himself he took her straight to the guitar player so now they are on friendly terms. What do you think she is going to do when she goes with her single girlfriend and they get a bit liquored up? Temptation of the flesh is the biggest temptation of them all. The next is money. Dont be so fucking naive people.
Your hilarious attempts at insults are delicious, please feed me more.
OP is overreacting and any sane person can see that. And you still haven't answered my question about whether or not your attraction to others turned 100% off when you were in a relationship. Did it?
I mean, don't you think there are smokeshow girls out there?
If you met your favorite Instagram model, wouldn't you want to bang her?
If she's not doing anything, its fine. If she is, then leave.
Women and men follow celebrities whom they find attractive on social media all the time. That's not far off from this. I know this will sound crazy, but people do, in fact, have self control and can separate feelings from actions.
Come on you are being disingenuous, OP's situation is different. It is human nature to find random people attractive sure, but the fact that she has had contact with this guy, and is able to contact him in the future makes it a bit more than say, finding a random person while scrolling through images attractive as a fleeting thought. She seems to be obsessed and OP has every right to feel bad over this.
Talking from a guy who already played guitar in a band.
pussy was easy as fuck and your gf might fuck him next time if you aren't with her, metal groupies are most of the time sluts.
Yes, thats really dar off this because celebrities are the most famous people in our country. You have a better chance fucking a unicorn up the ass than ever getting a date with a C-tier actress.
This is some fucking indie metal band. They arent celebrities. Far from it. They are stinky metal dudes that drink, toke and go to regular day jobs. They are regular guys that just happen to have a hobby they are good at that entertains people. Indie music is all about the music, but in the end we look forward to rocking the publics socks off and partying hard. If you think a metal band isnt a mini-frat you really are clueless. Their band practices are like a fucking hockey dressing room. "So you guys know that girk Samantha from our last show? I fucked her up the ass yesterday honhonhon" *band laughs* "good one bro". Like what the fuck do you think this is?
Have you completely ignored what this Anon said? she has contact with him, she has been in contact with him before, this isn't the same as finding some A-list celebrity attractive, she is able to engage him just like any other person.
The fact that she was talking about wanting to fuck him is a massive red flag.
>(implied, of course)
So she didn't actually say it? And she was drunk?
You're definitely an insecure pussy and you're probably overreacting. Do you have a favourite pornstar? Because that would be worse than what she's doing.
What part of she can engage him do you not fucking get? she can literally fuck him if she wants to. My god these people are delusional. Get your false equivalence shit outta here.
It's not, you faggot. Do you know how hard it is to fuck a famous pornstar? Not only will they not fuck normies, but you have to pay a ridiculous amount of money.
Do you fucking know how easy it is for OP's girlfriend to fuck the main guitarist? She just has to attend the next show with her legs open.
>if she wants to
And there's no reason to believe that she does. It's irrelevant if it's easy or not. It's easy for any attractive woman to fuck most men.
>Do you know how hard it is to fuck a famous pornstar?
Makes no fucking difference. Having a favourite pornstar means that you jerk off to her and spend time on the internet looking for her content. OP's girlfriend is a fangirl who think a guy is hot. Big fucking deal. Do you think that women with boyfriend don't talk about hot men with their friends? Are you mental?
i wouldn't stay with someone who talks about how attractive someone else is. more out of respect for me than anything else. i wouldnt talk about a girl in front of or behind my gfs back.
Have you had a girlfriend? Not trying to be insulting but this sounds pretty naive and unrealistic. It's not disrespectful find other people attractive, it's called being a human. You just have confidence that you are number one in his/her eyes, because that's what mature adults do.
No, I totally agree with you on this, that this particular girl's actions were way out of line and completely inconsiderate when it came to OP's feelings.
I said that you were bitter because you said that all girls are cheaters and lack the capacity to be loyal, which is untrue. Your post made you sound bitter. I guess you've been cheated on, anon?
Uh, yeah. I can absolutely fucking guarantee my fiancee would never, ever brag drunkenly to a friend about how much she wanted to fuck some other dude. I wouldn't either. I'd fully expect her to leave me if I did. You know why? Because that shit is inappropriate behavior for somebody in a relationship. It's humiliating to your SO, and communicates disrespect for them and disrespect for the relationship to anyone who happens to be in earshot.
I mean, I'm sure she WANTS to fuck lots of other people. I want to fuck a couple friends of mine and the girl who works at the smoothie shop. And yet if she ever heard me openly SAYING that, she'd be fully justified in considering it a major red flag, and also in being pretty fucking pissed off at the comment itself.
Girl here. I definitely don't tell my boyfriend "Omg x is so cute, I would do so many things to him." Because it would hurt his feelings and make him feel inadequate. That's how I'd feel.
In a relationship, it's okay to feel attraction to other people, but acting on it, or lingering on the thought is harmful to the relationship.
Words are a kind of action. Your thoughts are your business, your actions affect others.
How are you not getting this? Do you not have a social filter? Do you constantly say every stupid or hurtful little thing that pops into your head? If your girlfriend's sister is being kind of a bitch, do you say, "sweetie, your sister is a fucking bitch" or do you keep it to yourself, or at least soften the blow a little bit? When you're fighting, do you say every hurtful thing that pops into your head, because everybody knows you think terrible shit when you're angry, or do you stay in control like an adult?
There's certain things you just don't say, because they can and do hurt. If you DO say them, it communicates something. Perhaps that you're lingering far too much on the thought (to the extent that you "had to get it out"), perhaps that you're losing respect for your partner and the relationship and you no longer care if you hurt them. Or any of several other things. Either way, it's unacceptable.
Here's what you do, OP.
Ditch your girlfriend for behaving like some sort of a skanky groupie.
If it was someone famous like grohl or some shit, I'd say you're over-reacting.
But this is a local guy and she's all but throwing her pants at him. Stalking him on facebook, wanting reasons to message him. She's testing the waters as much as possible. Why is she doing that? Because you're letting her with your beta attitude. If she gets half a chance and the dude finds her attractive enough, she will fuck him without a seconds hesitation.
Ditch her, and say specifically you're not interested in a skank that will drop her pants at the first sign of some local metal dude. Tell her you're not interested in excuses, or her trying to flip it back on you, and not to contact you again.
Next time, don't cuck yourself. This was your doing because you wanted to show that you're the "secure man". If you give ANY woman some sort of power in that sort of context, any inch, they will take a mile. ALL the time. The "insecure" bullshit is a buzzword people throw about because they want to go into greyish zones and eventually the red zone and it's a magic word that transfers that responsibility onto the other person.
Maybe because we aren't talking and simply reading wuick tidbits it came across as bitter. I believe in realism. For the most part, women want a man that is confident, interesting and attractive. If a women has a chance to upgrade she may fall down that road. It happens all the time. There are girls out there that are completely in love and loyal to their men but really...young women have a tendancy to upgrade if the chance provides itself. All it takes is a better looking guy and a charismatic smile or a talent like guitar playing. These characteristics also happen with men, but men are dogs and dogs are loyal. Women are cats, and generally cats only care about their own desire. I strongly believe that because ive seen it, ive heard stories and ive read stories about it.
this is correct. OP you are fucking retarded.
sure its okay to feel attraction to someone outside your relationship, but its not okay to ACTUALLY PURSUE THAT PERSON WHICH IS WHAT SHE IS DOING.
Nothing will keep her from fucking this guy if the opportunity arises or he responds to the messages shes been sending him. Nothing.
>And there's no reason to believe that she does.
Apart from when she practically said she wants to. I would think that gives a fucking reason to believe.
>Makes no fucking difference.
But it does if she has been in contact with the guy, and can contact him in the future. False equivalence yet again.
All these mental gymnastics man, it's astounding.
OP here, laughing my ass off at some of these these replies.
Thought about it some more and still think what she did was fucked up. As many a wise anon have said ITT having a crush on a celeb is one thing, but going out of your way to follow an obtainable guy when you're in a relationship is totally fucked.
Even explained to her that if I did what she did she'd be just as butthurt at me if not more, and she agreed
Anyway with that being said, my gf never goes anywhere without me and won't even make phone calls due to social anxiety, I'm positive she's not going to bang anyone. I just want to know if I'm ever going to actually get over this or if I should bring it up again
Chances are, you're not going to get over it. Her attitude has been beyond disrespectful. It's not too far away from skank status. Having someone around like that is going to unsettle you. Trust has been broken.
The way you handle things is wrong though. You come across very weak with the way you want to talk about it. The message you are sending is "It hurts, you shouldn't be doing that". The message you want to send across is "If I disrespect my boyfriend and the relationship, he will drop me quicker than molten lava". It should be one where you show that you don't take shit and are more than capable of ending a relationship over her crap behaviour. The message you're sending right now is just one of being whiny about her behaviour.
I was in a situation like this once and I can tell you how I got over it.
My GF was lusting after this guy who worked at the gym we usually go to. Basically I felt I had lost my position of dominance in the relationship to him and had to reestablish it, so I downloaded a bunch of still frames from BDSM porn, cuckold shit, you know what I'm talking about. I cut out the faces in Photoshop and replaced them pictures of him and my girlfriend, always with me in the dominant position. Me fucking my GF while he watched, me pissing on my GF who was pissing on him, stuff like that. I figured her attraction couldn't possibly survive seeing him in that kind of condition. Then I printed them out and pasted them all over the walls of her room, set one as her desktop background, etc. She broke up with me, but the whole thing made me feel pretty alpha so I got over it quick.
Now, I'm not saying you should necessarily do that, but what I am saying is that if you did, it'd probably be really easy to find pictures of him to do it with, you know? Him being semi-famous and all. Whereas I had to create a fake Facebook profile of some chick just to get a good picture of his face. Maybe you should listen to what the universe is telling you.