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BPD friend
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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I have a best friend with BPD latched onto me like a leech..
She threatens that if I find a partner/live with a male that she'll kill herself (she's a man-hating lesbian who believes she can't love anyone more than me)
I want to move out of home and study in a city 2hrs away though (Chem degree isn't locally available). And I am offered a room with a guy there. She's not gonna tolerate it. She'll harangue over how I'll fall in love with him or he'll rape me or w/e.
How's the best way to break it to her? I don't want to be any part responsible for her death.
jesus. does she elaborate why she wouldnt tolerate you living with a male?
Women suck at killing themselves, just like the word rape they use it for malicious behaviour. Just more the fuck away. How is it your fault if she decides to kill herself? I mean you don't even get to fuck her, why should you give up your life for hers?
She doesn't trust them. Got raped as a kid by different guys for a few years at different times, dad left mum as a baby and doesn't visit her/care for her, in highschool one guy friend broke her trust etc.
Pretty common emotional-disorder story. But on top of this, being non-stop obsessive over me to the point she stays with her unhygeinic trailer trash sister just to stay in the same city as me (I ONLY DO THIS FOR YOU ANON) instead of stay home with her mum..

I pray on that statistic every day. She lives pretty miserably even now though
>you don't even get to fuck her
Dunno what you mean by this, sorry. I'm a straight grill
what the fucking fuck. this is a toxic friendship. are you sure she doesnt have a romantic interest in you?
Oh I know. She tells me it daily. I made it clear to her I only want her friendship, she's a great friend since before she came out.
I dunno if its her disorder that makes her love me this much and unable to just take it platonically. I was in love with someone once for years, got rejected but are still friends?

If I break our friendship though, she also has no one. She only has friends on an online forum, cant make friends at her uni.
you cannot stay in the friendship out of guilt, it is not healthy for you. however, if she is a person you want to keep in your life i think you should sit her down and let her cry and throw things and whatever the fuck she wants to do, but stand your ground. reassure her its not going to affect your friendship.
being reassured constantly is something that might help. but i mean constantly. i have an anxiety disorder and it helps, even if its annoying for other people, it is way better than to listen to my irrational whinings
>I'm a straight girl
Exactly. What do you get out of this abusive friendship? Nothing. Also it's not real friendship if you have to keep her at arms length so she doesnt slip her hands up your shirt.
She guilt trips me pretty bad even now just for having lunch with a guy... she only chilled out when I told her he's a gay man. Ffs.

I dont want to say she's manipulative because she justifies this somehow? I'm not seeing it from her perspective am I?.. she's broken, distrustful, has little hope in life? All her external forces and decisions are based on me?
When i was in psych for ASPD i met a BPD chick they get real fucking obsessed and their favourite thing is pretensing to kill themselves to control people if you let yourself be controlled you'll be the fool so i would tell her straight to fuck herself dont worry bout her not having friends just leave her
Yeah, it's because of the illness.
Ok.... its hard, I've had to do the sit-and-let-her-scream thing before too! One time she even slapped me on the face in her let-go sessions lol. But I don't think she'll ever do it again.

She's my best friend, I get her friendship... we go for hikes together, travel places, go look at thrift stores, fun stuff not any of our other friends enjoyed. Also the longest friendship I had.

She's not that perverted to touch me inappropriatly though thankfully. Treat her like my other female friends.

Ahh... yeah this type is manipulative.. Did she ever attempt though?
Good I guess.. if there was a cure for this shit I'd have been able to keep my friend.
well from personal experience people who tell you they would die without you usually spend a few days sad and then move on. but this might not be the case, even if its only her illness speaking, it still poses a danger
I dont know how to reply directly but to the guy who asked me if she attempted...yes she did but it was only in little ways that she knew wouldent kill her just to get people to feel so bad well i never did but most fall for that shit now im serious to the guy on the this thread just get rid of her if your stupid and stay than fine but honestly its not worth the effort with some people let her fall intp lonely depression and she might pluck the courage to kill herself
Have you experienced this kind of person before?
She has attempted before by the way, for a smaller matter (lied about where I was just so I could hang out with friends that included some guys) and had the police come check in on her. Just thinking this will be bigger and she will actually do a decent attempt?

Just click on the post number, a number with arrows will pop up, just type below it

So if you were put in my situation, you would not feel responsible if she died.. I'd have trouble accepting it haha
>>16646612 ok i know how now also no i wouldent feel bad if she died
i have, but she never attempted. it was a long distance friendship, so my situation was a little different from yours.
those who have attempted it before are more likely to try again
I dont see any other options you have desu it just makes sense to me that you should remove her whether she likes it or not
Ahh I understand.
And I think I read about that. And that 1 in 10 BPD sufferers commit suicide successfully.
I don't honestly care if she doesn't like it!
She could cry, scream, or spend her days slandering that I'm a crack whore sucking dick for cash. I wouldn't care what she does, except that I want to wish her the best in life, to finish her degree and not kill herself on problems millions will experience worldwide. Makes me wonder how the heck so many can survive heartache but this girl can't!
Thats why they exist in mental hospitals(bit hypocritical i suppose but im different the point is you probly arnt 'qualified' to deal with 'personality disorders' as they are known)
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