What is the proper way for me to message a girl on online dating?
I'm aware that "ayy bb" or "want sum fuk" are improper (not that I'd say such a thing), so that's not where the confusion sets in.
I'm a 20 year-old depressed virgin whose life isn't very interesting at the moment. I feel like the girls who post "hehe, I have no life and watch netflix all day with my cats" are exaggerating and not actually as sad and pathetic as I am.
I'm apathetic about media, so I can't really spark a conversation off of that. Playing video games and watching tv honestly feels like a huge waste of time to me these days.
I know some people will say "you gotta work on yourself first", but I don't want to wait a few years just to get a date. I'm severely lonely, I don't know how much longer I can take it. I crave intimacy and love, yet I haven't even held a girl's hand before. When I think about things like this, I honestly feel all chocked up inside and worthless as a human being. And the last thing I want is to come off as desperate and needy, I somehow have a some semblance of self-respect left in me.
I've gotten most dates with "hi how's it going" Yeah it's boring but I'm not one to copy and paste cheesy lines. Just let them know I want to take them out and get to know them and they seem to appreciate that. I'm well adjusted and good looking tho, so that's probably a big part of it.
>I want to not be so lonely
>Okay anon, so how do you relate to people?
>I don't. I share no interests with anyone.
Well Jesus fucking Christ anon, maybe you should delve into something that will actually interest or impress or amaze a girl before you expect them to lay down their affection on you. For what reason should you have self-respect? You earn that by doing something with your life. I hate to be that guy, but being a bump on a log isn't going to get you the things you seek.
When I was younger, I used to be really into art and wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I practiced and practiced, but I was never satisfied with my drawings. I felt like improving was impossible, kids younger than me were already drawing better than I had back then. In high school I gave it up entirely out of frustration and the reality that artists struggle to make ends meet (even if they're good). I'm not good enough to say that I'm an artist or that I draw.
I can't really relate to happy, normal people. I don't have intense passions like they do. I feel like everyone is connected with some other individual, but I'm left unplugged, detached from everyone and everything. I don't know what I want from life, but do I know that I want to do it with someone else. I get it that it's not enough to be caring and human, you need something extra.
At this point I feel like an alien who is forced to act asexual. My only friend (who happens to be gay) once said "huh, I forgot that you have a dick." as a way to say that I don't appear as a sexual being. It's as if I'm forbidden to participate in anything intimate. It's as if society is saying "Oh my god, it's so good! Oh no, this isn't for you though". I'm not allowed to have joy in my life, nor am I allowed to feel accepted. Instead I drift through life miserably, alone. I just want someone to get me out of my head and back into reality.
Why should I feel like I should be accepted? I don't really. I only think that because I'd otherwise kill myself. I think about offing myself daily and I don't see anything changing anytime soon.
So truly, being unloved is a symptom of something much more severe: being generally detached from life.
You won't improve that by "I'm such a screw up, geez, if only I had a girlfriend, ah, but it's all hopeless because I'm such a screw up." Instead, you should, like any functioning human being, find something you enjoy, large or small, and do it. Cooking? Going for walks? Dungeons & Dragons? Caring for a pet bird? A pet dog? Music? Drawing, no matter what your skill level? Writing? Reading (this would probably be very useful in your case)? These don't have to be ends, although they can be. Instead, they're a set of steps to remind you of how it feels to be human. Girls like dating humans, because humans know how to make them feel. A girl, like you, just wants to feel something.
I've been planning to learn the piano and eventually take a stab making music for fun. I've already bought a midi keyboard for it. I admit that I'm not well-versed in music theory, so I have a lot to learn. I used to go for walks and go biking during the warm months, but it's -20c outside during winter months.
Would my next logical step be to go see a mental health professional and to stop checking my okcupid? Just put the thought of a relationship happening out of the picture altogether and figure out how to fix myself? Though being already "old" to be a dateless virgin, I'm not sure how I could come out the other end feeling normal and accepted.
Trust dude, shitty jokes or awful one liners also work a treat. You just gotta imagine how messages she's gonna be getting saying just "hi" you do something different and you stand out right from the get go. 60% of the time, it works... everytime.
Then gl struggling to say hello to someone you've never met over the internet mr barrels of fun
Fetty's music is good on its own merits anyway fuck outta here with "meme culture"
Everything's fucking meme culture
The way you structured that reply is a meme you inherited from somewhere else too
No worries anon, at least you aint a stick in the mud like him
On topic: Like others have said, stick out from the crowd
This might be a tough pill to swallow, but you have to accept that to attract someone you have to be attractive
And on a dating website that means being unique charismatic charming and witty over text
So you gotta catch her attention with the first impression and draw her into a convo with you