You guys are gonna get a kick outta this one
>meet 18 yr old at work
>help her register for classes n shit
>invite her to pizza
>she likes MGS3
>invite her to my house
>we talk alot
>tell each other secrets
>instantly become in a relatinship
>we have no experience in being bf/gf
>she helps me with homework, morale support, etc. more than what my mom ever did
>I just kiss her and say im sorry idk how to make it up to you
>its fine you dont have to (I learned that this was BULLSHIT far too late)
1 week later
>I break up with her
>I deemed myself unworthy of being her boyfriend
>she can find someone better
>she doesn't understand
>I regret my decision
>she needs time apart
1 month later
>I text her
>try each day for 3 days
>she replies "meet me at the staircase"
>"your not being honest. fuck off"
>send her one final text "i dont know what I did, but im sorry. I appreciate everything you did for me. I'll miss you. Sincerely"
I thought that if I threw away my only source of happiness, I would be able to find something else and not abuse her kindness that she offers everyday. Since this semester started, she's transformed into a total bitch and won't tell me what I did wrong. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like killing myself. I just don't have the balls.
/adv/, how do I move on from this situation? I know I fucked up, and now I'm feeling the pain she felt last year, but I seriously didn't want any bad blood between us. Every time I see her, she goes from happily talking to her friends to complete sadness/browsing through her phone. Now I'm forced to work with her and attend a 3 hour class with her every Friday.
So far, I've only come up with one potential solution: FUCKING BITCH SHE WON'T TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG WE SHARED EVERYTHING BETWEEN US
There's also the possibility that she just wants to put me through what I put her through, but I doubt it.
Help pls. I know I'm pathetic.
I mean, you broke up with her, dude. That's what you did wrong, and I guarantee she took it as a slap in the face instead of the declaration of self-loathing and inadequacy you apparently intended it to be. You don't really have any chance with this girl, she's allowed herself to become completely cold towards you at this point. Just harden your heart and move on, Anon. And don't do that next time.
Yeah, you fuck up but at least you seem to realize your level of idiocy. You chickened out of being there for her due to your own fear of inadequacy rather than focus on making yourself better. You gave up. Hopefully you won't make that mistake with someone else.
If she refuses to talk to you after you actively make attempts to talk to her, there's nothing you can do. Your relationship is over. Move on.
Dude, how old are you? You sound like you're under 17 years old. You need to chill, smoke some weed, play some video games, guitar, whatever you're into. Get your mind off of this shit. Girls don't like it when you obsess over them, back off. It's harder than it sounds, but trust me it will work. And if not, then you will meet someone else. You can't force people to feel shit, they either do or they don't.
Good luck, but seriously chill.
The solution I meant to say was to become hostile towards her as well. Might make me feel better actually. However, if there's even some miniscule piece of me insider her, I really don't want to become hostile. We told each other EVERYTHING. I honestly think we said too much. We texted almost 24/7 during the time we were together. She met my parents and I was planning to meet her parents as well.
It's just .. I know I fucked up. But I want to fix the situation and she's not cooperating for an unknown reason. I sure as hell didn't cheat on her. I only disrespect her in a playful manner and she does the same to me as well. She's well aware of my anxiety issues involving people in general, and she still agreed in becoming my girlfriend.
idk man I'm just really fucking depressed its hard to breathe. Hell, its hard to play video games.
You literally posted exactly what you did wrong and you can't see it. But I'll make it easy for you.
She connected with you, shared secrets and completely opened up to you. She went out with you and prob was enjoying it to. But your own self confidence problems caused you to toss her to the side of the street like garbage and she feels betrayed.
You ruined it all yourself buddy, not easy way to put it.
Go see a psychiatrist before you end up on the news
She is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay way way way waaay waaaaaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way better off without you.
Honestly I didn't know what I was doing half the time. I'm telling u man, suicide is my only way out. No one has ever done this before. And I shouldn't have done it to someone as pure as her.
did you get a kick out of it?
I guess posting on /adv/ was a mistake. I'm desperate trying to find someone on my side since it feels like the world is against me now. I can't stop thinking about just taking my life away. My grades aren't that great and I fade into the walls with people not even being able to remember my name after a week or so.
I feel lonely. There's no way to recover from this.
You just need to relax, you fucked up take the experience and hopefully you learned your lesson so that you don't do it again.
People dump people for all types of reasons, you're making this out to be way more of a problem than it is. In fact the problem is so minuscule I legit can't fathom how this could even provoke suicidal thoughts (and this is coming from kissless no gf fag)
These next few years are gonna suck.
For the record, she is already aware that I regret my decision. I let her know I made an impulsive decision and I shouldn't have done that to her. She then request some time alone and I guess over the vacation she found someone else or completely got over me.
Either way, I can't calm down. I've had 2 and 1/2 cups of water throughout the whole day. I don't even feel hungry. I don't want to sleep. I just want to go back in time and fix my mistakes. Sadly reality sucks. I suck. I hope someone on /adv/ got a good laugh out of this. I always make people smile even if I do fail academically or being socially awkward.
Just... sigh. I might set up a /b/ meeting so they can record me jumping off the GW bridge. Or the Highline down at 20th street.
Dude she has a good chance of killing herself to if she thinks she made you jump of a bridge. At the very least she'll be a wreck,
You'll be dead however so you won't be able to care.
I did. Thanks.
I would say I'm autistic, but if there's at least one good quality about me, its my honesty. I know I fucked up. I won't deny it. But it's getting to the point where it's unbearable.
>I thought that if I threw away my only source of happiness, I would be able to find something else and not abuse her kindness that she offers everyday.
You cannot comprehend how little sense this makes to me. Are you on the spectrum? This is not me trying to call you an autist, I'm genuinely wondering how you came to make this decision. A cognitive psychologist could have a field day with your internal sentences.
BTW, don't kill yourself, other people will come along
Then we can get married in heaven with heavenly mandingo cocks. My life isn't that important. I'm like a homestuck whos trying really hard to become someone important in the real world. I wasn't aware it would be this difficult. Hit me like a truck yo.
Dont an hero. I fucked up bad with a fwb i fell in love with, i kind of did the same thing as you. Its been two weeks with no contact from each side. I was thinking about her every fucking second the first week, was miserable. Its getting better now, im thinking about her slightly less each day.
Chalk it up as a learning experience and keep it moving.
You're just sad, not feeling hungry etc. is once again completely normal. If you actually put your mind to it and started making yourself do shit you'll prob get over her faster than you expect. She doesn't even seem that great of chick tbh, especially not worth killing yourself imho.
You're only limited by yourself.
I got an hour late to one of our dates, and she wasn't mad. At all. Slap me, punch me, punish me someway somehow, she refused and said its ok because I like you. This went on multiple times. She's saving her virginity for marriage, and she's really scared about doing anything sexual, yet, when I played with her pussy with my dick, she said its ok I don't really know whats happening.
I couldn't take it anymore. I was falling in love with a slave.
Op, I had a 2000 character response posted and 4chan ate it.
The short and simple is, you probable have histrionic personality disorder.
What you did was shitty, whether you meant to "save her" as some sort of "dark knight" or not. It was really about you inadequacy and fear of being discovered to be fake that puts you into the position of being a giant asshole, and whether you really are deep down or not, actions are what count, and people become who they're pretending to be.
Do some homework in "Writing your way to happiness". Get that article and do it for the next 10 days repeatedly. Actually do it. Don't keep having the same thought patterns and behaviors come up without actually figuring them out and creating solutions.
Get into therapy, and prime your clinician to let them know you're HPD, otherwise they'll be misled by your ability to "fake being good" for a while, and when they figure it out finally and try to actually really help you instead of enable you, you'll be pissed and leave, because noone likes a relationship where the rules change. Thats why HPDs fail in therapy. They're the most insecure and thus need to have the right environment to help them from the start.
She thinks you're an asshole trying to fuck her vagina again by saying sorry and you know what you did, being dishonest while saying she's the liar. Drop her. Work on yourself. Happiness doesn't come from others. It can't, because people die, opinions change, and so on. It can only come from one place.
OK, I can accept that reasoning. But that just makes it more important not to kill yourself. If she's like you say, this will destroy her.
I was recently in a similar position to you - massive regret, lying in bed wanting to die, hyperventilating some of the time, even. But it passed, like everything does. You're 20, dude. If this is the worst thing to happen in your life you're lucky compared to a lot of people. You've got decades to get over this, don't throw your life away.
I have to write a proper reply to this. I always did base my life on supporting people from the shadows. She was ok with it for a while, but 2 days ago she texted me, "if you want to talk to me, come out of the shadows. Stop texting like a coward"
I did come out of the shadows. I worked with her. However, all of my efforts were shutdown since she instantly looked down at her phone as I opened my mouth. I became the class clown along with the teacher today. It was a fun time. After class ended, I tried talking to her in person, no more texting. And she didn't want any part of me being near her. I gave up, sent the final text, and now I'm here.
The gym does help me clear my thoughts. It is kind of hard to balance gym,work, and school all at once.
I look into therapy as a last resort. I'll do the "Write my way to happiness" thing in the mean time.
Cowardice is the ancient rhetoric to shame or enrage people into acting, mostly so she could get a shot to shove it in your face by ignoring you.
If this is what really happened in the situation, you know to leave it alone. Make sure that's really how it happened and you haven't altered the narrative.
A fucking idiot like yourself should just kill yourself. You'll never be happy because you'll just keep doing awkward stuff like this because you hate yourself. Whenever you get intimate with another you'll push her away by showing your inadequacies and it'll prove to yourself what I'm telling you. Kill yourself and spare yourself the trouble of living this life.
What the fuck do you mean you dont know what you did wrong? You fucking admitting to psychologically sabotaging yourself CONCIOUSLY.
You broke up your relationship actively creating an unstable environment for a relationship and acrively DOING THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU WISHED YOU COULD HAVE DONE which was providing repayment for her kindness i stead offering penance in confusions.
I'm not sure what you mean .. I really do want her back, but I mean, I really want to have sex as well. I guess I am lieing to myself in some way.
Her morale and academic support will surely help me in the long run, but I doubt I'll be able to resist from trying to have sex with her. This is what I mean. I don't deserve her. I'll just drag her down with my drama and sexual tendencies.
HPDs and BPDs are notorious sex hounds wther a guy or a girl.
Not that there's anything wrong with being horny and needing some, but if its a compulsion that ruins relationships, there's something wrong with that.
She's still salty I broke up with her? Well guess what, I'm pretty fuckin broken down as well. I admit my mistakes, I regret my decision, and now I've made myself to be her plaything by becoming a cold arrogant bitch. I have done EVERYTHING in my power to fix the situation, too bad emotions are too difficult to comprehend for me.
Maybe she thinks the more I try to reason with her, the more these invisible chains wrap around her. How the fuck should I know what's going on in her head when she requests for things and still doesn't want to speak to me?
Makes me furious. I'll just move on.