why is it wrong for a girl (who is in a relationship) to be friend

It's not as long as you put him in his place.

>>14666798
for the same reason it is wrong for a man to be friends with a girl who said has romantic feelings for him. This isn't a gender issue and if you alone don't see what's wrong with it I don't think anyone on this board will be able to make you see why it is.

>>14666798
It's not. You might make your partner feel uncomfortable, though. If you don't care about that or you can make him say he doesn't mind, even though he does (I mean, in case he mentioned it once, then he probably does). Then it's okay. It can lead to a bunch of problems though, depending on the guy.

>>14666808
Not OP, but.
what's wrong if they aren't going to sleep together?

>>14666826
>>14666815
This.

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>>14666826
because it makes the boyfriend uncomfortable, like that guy is a backup incase their relationship goes sour.
OP is the worst

>>14666798
Because its not fair to the guy who has feelings for her.

The way you posed this question is interesting. The answer is dependent on why the girl is hanging out with the guy. If it is for an ego boost and because the guy liking her makes her feel good, this is a circumstance with potential for cheating. If its just to hang out, there is nothing wrong. This of course hinges upon the "terms" of your relationship. Whether your s.o. Is okay with you hanging out with them, alone or in a group, etc. It is after all up to both of you what your okay with from your partner. These things need to be clear cut, defined, and agreed upon by both of you.

>>14666798
If you think it's not wrong, then I assume you have no problem with him hanging around a whorehouse all day? I mean, after all, he's not going to do anything is he?

Same thing, this dude is just waiting to stick his dick in you, and if you think that makes for a good friendship, you're a fucking idiot.

OP here, actually I am a girls s.o.
and I dont feel comfortable with it, and I know it's wrong, I am just not sure how to communicate that to her.
it all ends up with
>you should trust me and you should know me better, I would never do that.

>>14666994
Nothing you can do if she feels it's not a problem. I'd honestly just find someone else, and make sure you're clear about friendship boundaries with them i.e. what you expect from them and what they feel is important from you.

it's pretty disrespectful because MOST of the time the girl is doing one of two things.

1) keeping the guy on a leash just in case her current boyfriend fucks up
2) is/has plans of cheating on her boyfriend with him

inb4 but what if they aren't gonna sleep together

there are ALWAYS exceptions, but 98% of the time it's up there.

plus the guy is trying to ruin her boyfriend's happiness by taking her away.

>>14666798
>>14666798
Because he will always be trying to fuck her, end her relationship, etc... and will inevitably cause drama; this may be intentional, or on a subconscious level.

>>14667035
holy fuck man, I love you. made everything so clear.

As the other guy, for his sake don't allow it. That was a big mistake.

The chance for emotional cheating is highest.

>>14667031
Would this be acceptable though?
In my case, one of my friends told me he "had" a crush on me, but when I broke up with my bf, he instantly broke up with his gf too. So that's suspicious.
However:
>I think it's pretty obvious I don't want him
>he never straight out said he had a crush and isn't being a creep either
>we only meet a few times a year.

>>14666836
Not op but with your logic should it go like this?
>have a good guy friend who has feelings for you
>get a boyfriend
>tell the good guy friend that you two can't be friends anymore at all because you have a boyfriend so you two can't even have a platonic friendship and he should have shut his autist mouth or else you two could still be friends
With this logic, if I were a guy and wanted to be sure I could keep a girl as a friend, I would literally never tell them if I had feelings for them because I wouldn't want to be thrown to the side and have my friendship abandoned over such stupid shit

Is every topic on /adv/ just bait these days?

>>14666833
only insecure people think like this, nice dubs by the way

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>>14666826
>>14666833
>>14666798
because regardless of what the guy/girl says they WILL try to sleep with the committed partner if the opportunity arises unless they're like the 1% of moralfags.

"my bf just called me dumb!!11, will you let me cry on your shoulder? I know you love me, maybe you can help me through this"

it's not hard to imagine, it also happens the other way if the GF pisses the guy off.

sure it takes two to make infidelity happen, but jesus christ is it common for this kind of thing to happen.

so no, it's not wrong morally, but circumstantially it will probably not end well, and will likely torture the infatuated orbiter.

>>14667448
bait tastes good sometimes anon

it has a salty aftertaste

if you don't know why it is wrong you are not mentally mature enough to be in a committed sexual relationship and should probably continue to let your mommy drive you to the mall to meet boys in the hot topic store.

>>14667201
Yeah, I get what your saying, I tried every way imaginable to make her comprehend that its just not even fair for that guy either (however much asshole he is), but it seems like her "wants" get in the way of her doing the right thing. "oh I told him I am not interested it's his own fault if he keeps hoping for something"
>>14667377
No, because as long as you are friend with a guy he thinks he still has a chance.
it's not really just limited to a situation like in my OP.
If you have a guy in a friendzone and you do care about him you should cut off all contact, it would be better for him, cause for as long as you are still maintain contact with him he cherishes the chance of you two getting together.
>>14667448
dude what? it's a real situation, I just needed someone to help me word out the wrong of the situation.

>>14667494
see
>>14666994

>>14666798
The guys will eventually try and fuck things up for you and your gf. He'll deny it if you ever bring it up (unless he is a cunt) and your girlfriend will get listed if you do.

I 100% assure you if you allow them to be friends it will end poorly. It's exactly what happened to me. He waited until me girlfriend was mad at me and followed her to a club. He acted nice and flirty then when she was drunk he made a move and she cheated on me with him.

I'd made it.clear he was trouble and I didn't like him, but all I ever got was 'dont you trust me?'. The problem isn't trusting your girlfriend, it's the other guys who don't give a fuck about you and will prey on her when she is emotionally vulnerable.

>>14666798
>>14667537
And really, why would your girlfriend even want male friends? Would.she.be pissed at you if you spent time with other girls alone? She absolutely would. Fuck women, they're all shit

>>14667537
the answer to that I get
>I would NEVER cheat, you should know me better etc etc.
I am going to try and go with
>I am not comfortable with you being friends with someone who will constantly will try to put our relationship at risk.

My friends are my friends. Some of them happen to be guys. If you're so insecure about our relationship and you don't trust me enough to be okay with this, it's your loss. I don't have a problem with you having female friends, I don't expect you to have a problem with my male friends.

>>14667249
repeating this post
>>14667035

>>14666826


>I-I swear I didn't know he/she was like that!! We've been friends for so long and he/she knows about you, he/she just leaned in so fast and kissed me while we were hanging out! I'm so sorry and it won't happen again, I promise!

Fuck you and all the people like you who willingly test your relationship by purposely hanging out with people who have feelings for you while your significant other is not present.
90% of you tend to be manipulative cunts who would flip shit if the situation was reversed.

>>14667548
>but he would never do that and I'd never allow it! Stop being a jealous, insecure asshole :(:(:(

There's no way to win. Tell her its him or you.

>>14667548
>>14667560
For the record, I went through the exact same thing, I told her all this stuff too. I know it's all anecdotal but it's still valid.

>>14667554
That's not the situation, the situation is if one of those friends likes you. You would be ok with your significant other hanging out with a girl who you know has a crush on him one-on-one?

>>14667542
so far they are only spending time together at work and he calls her at her cell.
if she ever met him on her free time I'd probably end this relationship. (not just because of just that, there is some other stuff too, but it's mostly minor child shit that can be worked out, this would be the straw that broke the camel's back)

>>14667570
Work is fine, why is he calling her cell for? Does she know your uncomfortable with their friendship?

>dating girl for 2+yrs
>insert beta orbiter
>instantly he's trying to win her over and badmouth me
>I bring this up to her
>get the typical oh he's harmless you know you can trust me
>bite my lip because hey she's right I should trust her since she's never done anything before
>fast forward 2 months
>we get into a huge fight because of a huge misunderstanding on her end over a situation at a party *later found out she was wrong thanks to a friend having a video of what happened and I wasnt even there*
>she goes out to a party and gets shit faced
>a couple of guys prey on her upset with me
>beta orbiter is one of them
>she ends up hate fucking 3 guys because she thought I cheated on her at a party *mentioned*
>she finds out next day thru our mutual friends I didnt and saw the video
>she starts acting cool again
>find out thru beta orbiter she cheated on me with him and his 2 friends at party because he sent me a vid and outted her
>forward her the video and go for a run over to beta boys house
>beat the dog shit out of him in front of his 2 friends who do nothing but cower in the corners
>he goes to the hospital and I get arrested
>get out 4 days later and have court
>still havent said a word to my ex *havent broke up yet*
she knows what I did to her beta orbiter friend
>she's scared im going to do the same to her
>bump into her with friends
>tell her we're done and I want nothing to do with her and tell her I was right about you and him being friends and he did in fact cost us a relationship that had zero problems for 2+yrs til she let him in her life
>she starts crying in front of everyone begging for forgiveness and wants me back
>walk off without saying a word
>she cuts all contact with beta orbiter
>she still 3 yrs later shows up randomly in my life to win me back
>still blow her off and treat her like she doesnt exist
what you do with this story is up to you op but I will never allow another situation like this in my life again,

>>14667574
Did you go to jail faggot?

>>14667560
problem is he already did somewhat try so she won't be able to say that.
so I will definitely try it, I think it might work. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, the whole "well with me it will be different", but hey no hard trying, eh?
and yeah if nothing else will work I am prepared to force her to choose.
though about just being an asshole and stop considering this relationship as a serious one and just going with it, but it doesn't feel right or just.

>>14667573
just to talk.
yes she knows I am. she says I am restricting her and being to controlling

>>14667574
damn what the hell? 3 guys like as in a foursome? What a ho.

Sorry that happened bro. My gf of 4 years cheated on me recently. I wanted to slap her til she was unconscious but I did not want to go to jail. Fucking whores man. Never again.

And contrary to popular belief, I really do believe that guys who prey on girls in relationships and fuck with their emotions are the most beta faggots ever.

>>14667574
>beta orbiter
>fucked your girlfriend
I don't think you know what a beta orbiter is.

>>14667574
Good on you for how u handled that. Sorry about the insecure immature whore. Hope u didnt go to jail dude

What do if your the guy on the outside?

>>14667682
don't try to steal other people's girlfriends?

>>14666798
Because you're a whore.

>>14667692
it takes 2 to tango

lets not let the stupid sluts get away with it as if they are helpless mindless creatures easily stolen, they love the thrill of it and being the "bad" girl

>>14667701
woman being a whore doesn't justify a man having no honor and being a sleezebag.

>>14667715
I didn't fuck her. I just sort of fell her. Told her I liked her and she said she did back but had a boyfriend then left the country and have been talking to her since. I'm thinking of stopping now and would have but she's coming back in a few months.

>>14667735
well if you laid your cards out and she decided to stay with her boyfriend then you should stop.
if she thinks that you are the person for her, she should be with you.
if she doesn't and stays with her boyfriend you should fuck off, for everyone's sake (yours included, like for example imagine this, they break it off for some reason, you end up together, would it feel good to know that she wanted him more, but ended up with you not because you are her "one true love" but because of other reasons?)

>>14667765
not to mention how she could do the same with another guy and leave him

im only about those faithful bitches
dont be a homewrecker op lolol

On a related note
how would you guys feel about a girl still talking to a guy whom she had a crush when she was 14 or so and dated briefly when she was 14-15, and then kissed when she was about 20 when she was in a relationship with another guy. she is now 23 and the guy seems to be interested in another girl

>>14667765
>>14667770
Thankyou guys. I've decided that I'm going to leave. We are/were talking nightly so should I just go or say goodbye some how? Also should I bother with her when she comes back? It won't be till July and I won't be able to avoid her cause she'll be at my school and in some of my classes.

>>14666798
She's not really being a good friend, because that's not in the best interests of the guy.

Also how is her boyfriend supposed to feel about entrusting her to someone that likes her?

>>14667792
move on son, do you really want to deprive the single pringle bitches of the D?

>>14667798
also if you are pursuing this girl cause you cant get any other grls, i cant really help you that much as far as talking to them. However i will suggest learning as much about being awesome at sex as you can. Nothing gives me more confidence with a girl than knowing i can fuck her better than anyone else i know

>>14667792
I wouldnt. Just be like later bitch lol. For realz though just say goodbye and dont talk to her or some shit. I would forget about her, then again that's how i do

>>14667799
Sounds like a good plan. I can get other girls, she was just the best quality in a long time and was interested back. So should I be like goodbye or just dissappear?

>>14667806
>>14667792
something along the lines of
"if we can't be together, we shouldn't continue this"

>>14666876
I like you.

>>14667809
YEah sure. Especially if you still have feelings for her. She will obviously protest, but you could just go the slowly ignore route. I always like disappearing but that probably isnt the best way to handle it lol. I would just say goodbye. If we are going to be friends my feelings for you are going to persist, and i dont want that causing any unwarranted drama in my life. Now if you dont have feelings for her then keep being friends, unless she has feeling for you, in which case you tell her that it isnt going to end well then grab your jetpack and fly off

It's not wrong, per se. But unless this other guy has managed to friendzone you since telling you about his (former) feelings, it's going to drive him insane, quite possibly literally. That just happens to people who stick around those they want but can't have. To do that to someone knowingly is cruel.

>>14668087
>To do that to someone knowingly is cruel.
you know what really grinds my gears about this?
if you try to explain that to a girl she just goes
>it's his own fault, I told him nothing will happen.
I am fine with them being a selfish cunts, but at least own up to it

Guy here, and I think this is somewhat unfair.

There's a girl I have romantic feelings for but we're not together, and I still value her friendship greatly. If she were in a relationship with another guy the last thing I'd want to do is interfere with that

>>14668359
huh, an honorable man. a rare sight this days