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Im a complete and utter beta faggot but what ive been wondering for a while is how the fuck did this happen to me? I didnt wake up one morning and decide that i feel like my self confidence should just go kill itself. Anyone know how people usually get to this point?
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Anonymous
choosing between love and happiness 2017-07-20 12:25:17 Post No.18536339
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choosing between love and happiness 2017-07-20 12:25:17 Post No.18536339
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choosing between love and happiness
Anonymous
2017-07-20 12:25:17
Post No. 18536339
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Okay so I've kinda found myself between a rock and a hard place, I'm very much in love with my boyfriend and things are rather serious, we've discussed marriage and buying a house together, you know, shit like that.
But the catch here is that I absolutely hate, like completely detest the city we live in.
I'm not from here, I'm a bit of a nomad and have lived all across my country (Canada, so I've lived quite a few different places) and I've never felt so much despair because of where I live.
I'm not just being a whiny cunt, I actually just can't find any redeeming qualities about this place, everywhere I've ever lived I've been able to find at least a few friends and stuff I enjoy but here I can't find shit.
I've lived here for about 2.5 years and I have no friends, I've had countless dead end jobs that I end up leaving because they're all owned by stingy immigrants who don't follow labour laws, I've almost been homeless here countless times, this is THE most expensive city to live in (in Canada) which causes me a great deal of stress all the time because I usually have to choose between rent and food, I've been raped here, assaulted here, I'm an independent person and I feel trapped because I don't feel safe enough here to go outside most of the time, I've been hospitalized because of my poor mental condition due to anxiety and stress and having a complete emotional break down about a year ago after attempting suicide.
The problem here is, my boyfriend's from here and doesn't plan on moving any time soon. I've brought it up before and all the times I have the conversation goes from "us" to "me"
I really don't know what to do, everyday is a battle for me because the only thing keeping me here is him, but by staying here I'm loosing my sanity and fear I'm not going to make it out of here alive.
this is a long shot but, any advice? Even if it's just how to endure something you hate, I just don't know what to do.
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>>18536339
Make it clear he is going to have to choose between you or living there, and link him this thread so he knows how bad it is for you.
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>>18536355
see I don't want to put him in that situation since that's pretty much how I ended up here in the first place and I resent the person I came here with a little bit because they pretty much threw me out in the when they made it and I couldn't integrate.
He has friends here, he has a good job here and stuff, granted things aren't like amazing for him either and I'm sure one day he'll realize this city isn't that great either bit I guess it's harder for him to understand since that's all he knows and I actually have experiences to compare it to.
I also think the idea kinda scares him and I don't want him to feel like he made a bad decision because of me
I also don't think he really understands what I'm going through though, he thinks he can make me feel better if he loves me enough; but I isolate myself constantly and I'm about to be hospitalized again in about a week because of my major depressive episodes.
He tries to help me fit in and gets upset when I turn down every invitation to go out with him and his friends; I've tried to explain to him that I'm a recovering alcoholic that goes through withdrawal every time I drink (it also launches me into a sever depressive episode) and I turn him down because all him and his friends ever do when they get together is drink and when I'm around it I just want to drink too. He finally got that I'm not just blowing him off or not trying to help myself get better, I genuinely have a problem. But the rest is still kind of hard for him to understand I guess.
I don't blame him though, if you've never lived this then it's hard to understand but, I just don't know what to do. :(
Anonymous
She doesn't love me back 2017-07-20 12:00:18 Post No.18536232
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I'm deeply in love with someone who doesn't love me back. She isn't interested in anyone else, she just a doesn't want any sort of relationship. I can't stop thinking about her and I'm running out of people to spend time with. I feel like I need a relationship soon but she doesn't want to do anythong with me. How do I deal with this?
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Distance yourself from her for a while. Eventually it'll die out and you'll find someone new.
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>>18536422
And replace her with who? There's no where to find anyone else
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Hello, /adv/. Any advice for socially uncomfortable faggot? I don't handle strangers well and unconsciously I try to keep interactions as brief as possible by just laughing instead of saying something to continue the conversation. I feel like my mind goes blank when people talk to me so I usually just smile and laugh instead of offering a thought out response. I get super uncomfortable when people are watching me so that is probably the core of my problem. I know it makes me such a bland fuck and it's honestly killing me inside. I could really use some help. And yes, I do at least go out and try to better myself (and have for years--I'm 25) but I'm so sick of this being who I am.
Tl;dr: how to normalfag
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Find some gay guy to talk to op
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>>18536227
> I get super uncomfortable when people are watching me so that is probably the core of my problem.
Actually, no. That's not the problem at all.
> I'm so sick of this being who I am.
> how to normalfag
That's the problem!
Normal is such an overused word. People use it in just about every situation to describe people they think are better.
Just be yourself. You will only stress yourself out more if you try to hold yourself to the expectations you think others want.
Anonymous
Finding a Secret Instagram Account 2017-07-19 11:47:53 Post No.18536182
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Finding a Secret Instagram Account
Anonymous
2017-07-19 11:47:53
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I have been tasked with finding a secret Instagram account. I know the person's main account, but I would like to find the secret one. Any suggestions on how this may been done?
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Anonymous
Socializing without alcohol? 2017-07-19 11:36:51 Post No.18536142
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Socializing without alcohol?
Anonymous
2017-07-19 11:36:51
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I just entered grad school and a lot of my classmates are starting to create get-togethers at bars. I just turned 21 and I'm really not that big into drinking, but I don't want to be a lone owl like I was in undergrad. I feel weird at bars and I usually only go to them to see live shows.
It's honestly not a huge deal, cause I will probably look for school clubs to hang out with people outside of bars, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels/has felt the same and if they have any advice to give
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I genuinely believe I am a 2/10 no matter what therapists and people tell me.
This causes me great distress. You can see it on my face--I don't smile often and the muscles aren't strong, so sometimes I can't help but frown. It feels bad being in public.
Calling myself handsome or beautiful doesn't help, nor does being reassured otherwise.
However, I think it may go beyond simply looks and how I connect to the world itself, or how tense and and on edge I feel--I externalize it. I feel, think ugly, so I see ugly. And not any garden variety ugliness. And it really doesn't help that I feel worn out and I feel it in my face.
On one hand, I need to come into terms with being ugly--so what if I am?
On the other, I need to fucking relax. My soul seems unwell. Not that I believe in souls. Just...that deeper sense of being in me seems terrified and tense.
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I think I'm well above average. Got a lot of attention on tinder and lots of compliments from people on /soc/ - and yet I can connect to you. I'm very insecure. And even though I think I look good I live or die on every reaction from (especially attractive) girls - if they don't seem to like me, I instantly wonder what's wrong with me, am I not looking good enough. Doesn't help when your friend is an easy 8/10 and you see some woman respond well to him. Rationally I'm not jealous and I'm happy with my looks. In practice, I can't help myself to overanalyse shit.
I'm also really tense.
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>>18536139
Compliments on tinder? Damn, that's saying a lot considering you're a dude.
Part of me knows it's really stupid to focus on looks...Jesus, when I was a teen I didn't even partake in all the shallow image politics or obsessions, I just didn't judge people based off of it, nor did I do so to myself. Strange how adulthood can fuck with you.
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>>18536403
Well I meant more on /soc/
I also know how to take good photos...
>Jesus, when I was a teen I didn't even partake in all the shallow image politics or obsessions, I just didn't judge people based off of it, nor did I do so to myself. Strange how adulthood can fuck with you.
Yeah, I used to feel that way too. I didn't think looks mattered.
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Just moved into a new town for vacation with some cousins, how do I find a trustworthy drug dealer?
Just looking for weed and I'm in a urban middle class part of town any tips?
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>>18536091
Hang out as a gas station, if you see someone buying Swisher, make an approach.
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How to have normal human relationships and find a gf? I go out to meet people but almost every time I come back more distressed and depressed, because I can't be myself and open up with people, feel disliked and rejected. No, alcohol doesn't help.
Should I talk to my therapist about this? I sometimes wonder where did it go wrong, how and when have I missed the chance to become a normal part of the society (well I graduated and doing all that shit but I'm talking about the social side of things).
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>because I can't be myself and open up with people
Sounds like you are an introvert. Just keep meeting up with these same people (preferable 1 on 1 or a small group of 2-4) and eventually you will be comfortable enough with them to open up and be yourself. Might take a long time, maybe even months but eventually you will get there.
It only took me 8 months to get close enough to another human being to talk about my emotions.
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>>18536175
The problem lies not only in them, it lies in myself. Everything in my life is pretty fine (well, I've never had a gf I guess), but I can't stop feeling insecure and distressed. I can't chill up, I don't trust people, I feel no connection to anyone or rather even when I feel it, I cannot express it.
I'm meeting a therapist and he's been helping me with my direction in life but I think I need something more. Maybe group therapy...
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>>18536194
>I can't chill up, I don't trust people, I feel no connection to anyone or rather even when I feel it, I cannot express it.
Like I said, time is the answer. You sound pretty much like me. My only friends are the ones from work because I was forced into a room with them day in and day out until I could start trusting them. Until then I was completely closed off and had very little to say.
How old are you? I am 29 and have only just gotten this shit figured out in the last couple years.
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do they work? is there a best way to do them or whatever? experience with them? limitations?
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>19 years old, overachiever
>got a free comp. sci. course after passing a government program involving a 180 questions test all areas of knowledge seen in school
>first job - internship in software company inside university
>startup
>have difficulties (acceptable if I may add), but I get the ropes
>me and another intern
>also has difficulties but my employers (company of 4 business associates) seem to like him way more than me and sometimes treat me like ass
>I go out of my way to be humble and likeable. I even avoid contesting my boss even when I KNOW he's wrong. Sometimes he points out ridiculous things in my work, realizes they're not my fault and apologizes
>fast forward 3 months (6 months contract)
>I have even solved things they couldn't (2 experienced programmers) - one was a shitty problem with the timezone in an advanced search system and the other was with model definitions in the API
>the 4 guys have gone on a trip to another state to get a business award
>they stay there for 3 straight weeks. Since I'm the first to get to the company everyday I get to open it, open the windows and all that
>my intern colleague begins to act really gay towards me. I realize he IS gay/bi whatever, but ignore it and act like he's joking
>sometimes I request assistance from these guys over Slack and they answer after 4 hours (design choices, system definitions, etc.), for the how-tos I basically use Google and StackOverflow
>when I basically finish a task and report to them they tell me to change a lot of things and I take even longer
>my production drops. Sometimes I even catch myself browsing the web randomly as I wait for an answer
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OP here. Cont.:
>one day I get to the company and one of the guys is back
>asks me to sit down, tells me in a slow and low voice (he usually speaks very loudly) that I have been dismissed from the company since they'll be travelling a lot, won't be able to teach me properly since no one's going to be around, etc.
>okay. Gives me some papers, guides me to the door, tells me to come back to sign an university recision document and wishes me good luck on my professional career
>few weeks later
>go back to the company to sign shit
>enter the office: the other intern is still there and gives me a weird grin. There's an older guy sitting in my desk - they all came back from their trip
>greet everyone normally
>my ex boss spergs out trying to sign the papers, signs on the wrong field
>have to wait for him to print another one and sign it
>tells me he doesn't have his stamp around, so once he gets it back he'll stamp the papers and deliver them to the university for me
>takes me to the door, I say bye to everyone and go home
Now, I'm not worried about money since I basically spent all I earned with my dinner and transport from and to work. What bothers me is that my family was really proud of me for getting a job (they thought it was the best thing in the world) and now I have been kicked out and replaced in less than a month.
Maybe I just suck and should go full NEET.
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Sounds like you unfortunately ran into a joke outfit, and honestly, it's probably for the better that you were dismissed. Find another company with more earnest and likeable people that aren't treating their work like a secret club. You also shouldn't be ashamed about telling your family that it didn't work out, because it sounds as though it was more their problem than yours.
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>>18536079
Okay, I don't mean to be a dick here, but it's really unlikely that only several months into your first programming job you'll know what you're doing, especially more so than someone who has been doing it for many years, even if they're genuinely retarded.
>when I basically finish a task and report to them they tell me to change a lot of things and I take even longer
Changes like what? Asking someone to make changes is pretty reasonable and to be expected, especially if they're just starting out.
Also, what were you working on? I'm gonna guess some web java/c# from what you've said so far.
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I cant delete, pause, change, or alter my patreon pledges in anyway with all of my pledges. This is a problem because its just taking money from my bank account and not letting me do anything.
Every time I try to alter my pledges this dumbass message pops up and makes me want to castrate myself. I only made it worse by messing with my account somehow and instead of saying "card ending in card number/year" it just ends in a bunch of nonsense numbers and letters.
It might have to do with the fact I just gave it my debt card number to give the creator money, and never made a real paypal account since the of course the basic fucking website couldn't let me make an account on that.
I don't want to delete my account because I don't even remember or saved my password and I want to continue using the account anyway.
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I'm pretty sure you can stop your bank from letting someone else draw money from your account. You should do that and e-mail Patreon explaining the situation.
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Déso pas déso
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How do you deal with people laughing at you among your acquaintances? Like you did or said something awkward and people laugh at you, multiple times during a single night.
Or with being disliked? I have a feeling that people, even the people that I hang out with, dislike me. Then again, maybe it's just my insecurity speaking.
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If they're hanging out with you they probably don't dislike you.
Get over your idiosyncrasies and work on your social behavior. Maybe behavioral therapy is for you, anon.
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>>18536059
I don't even know what a behavioural therapy is. Is it group therapy?
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>>18536076
It can be. It can be one on one as well. I recommend speaking with a therapist(no shame in this) and finding the best course of action for you.
Anonymous
Trying for a GED, some help would be appreciated 2017-07-19 10:55:29 Post No.18535980
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Trying for a GED, some help would be appreciated 2017-07-19 10:55:29 Post No.18535980
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Trying for a GED, some help would be appreciated
Anonymous
2017-07-19 10:55:29
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So i only went to i think the 9th or 10th grade but never had a chance to finish high school.
I retained literally nothing over these years (Age 23)
What does anyone recommend to study with and learn everything over again? Well i know simple multiplying and subtraction just nothing super fancy, anymore.
Should i just head on over to my local library?
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