I have a crush on a girl from my Uni. She's older than me by 5 years because she was dropped out once and started all over again. We meet at some classes, but it's rarely something other than "hi" and "how are you doing". But when we actually talk, I love the way she discusses music and tells about books or just how she behaves. I also find her very pretty and I love how her face is shaped.
I really want to be with her, at least I think I do. How do I approach her?
Pic related is her, on the left. Picture is about 5 years old, but she looks the same now.
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really weird how you would post her actual picture but whatever
>We meet at some classes, but it's rarely something other than "hi" and "how are you doing". But when we actually talk, I love the way she discusses music and tells about books or just how she behaves
you need to create more situations where you two actually talk. do you sit near or next to her in class? you seem to have multiple classes with her as well or is your uni so small that this is common?
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>>18575382
Catch her before or after class. Mention some book or music you've talked about before. Chat a bit and then say "We can't talk here. Class is starting. Wanna meet for coffee/Coke later?"
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what about being older thingie
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I used to go outside with a small group of friends. 2 girls, one guy and me. I got togheter with one of the girls. 2 months passed. The first month - heaven on earth. She talked to me every single day, texting me first 99% of the time, our texts would start with "Good morning!!" and end with "Good night". During the second month, she started to distance herself from me and I started to become more and more depressed,clingy and needy because of it. I started to get somewhat passive agressive. I asked her if she was happy with the relationship. She said that she thinks it's a dead end, that we aren't going anywhere and that she doesn't love me anymore. Then we broke up.
Now, I'd like to get her back, but I'm not sure how to go about this. I'm going to be in another country for pretty much all of august and whilst I'm there I'm going to try and find another one and try to move on. During this time I'm also going to try my best to improve myself (Working out, paying more attention to grooming, the way I dress, social skills, personality, becoming the person she fell in love with originally), however, I still have no idea what I did for us to break up. She didn't really tell me anything, just that she doesn't love me anymore. She didn't even tell me when she started to feel this way. I think it's because of the way I reacted to her distancing herself, but again, I have no idea. I'm pretty fucking autistic and as a kid I didn't really get along with others and that fucked my social skills. This was also my first relationship (hers too) and we're in HS.
Before we broke up I started distancing myself from her as well, but I realized that is pretty childish. But durings this period I could see that she was starting to worry a lot and wanted to get back in contact with me really badly.
It's been a little over a week since the break up and she hasn't texted me anything. Will she move on or will she break and text me? Does she even miss me?
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If it doesn't work out, should I still stay friends? I would hate to lose that group of friends because of her.
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>>18575291
that sucks anon, went through a similar thing last week. other /adv/ posters told me to not contact her again and I understand why. what you want from her is the same comfort you got at the start of your relationship applied to your breakup.
If you stay friends with her eventually you'll have to meet her new boyfriend at which point it will be as painful as the day you left. I would just try to let her go.
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>>18575881
>what you want from her is the same comfort you got at the start of your relationship applied to your breakup.
pretty much, but there's more to it than just that. She's so different from others that I honestly doubt I'll ever meet someone like her.
>If you stay friends with her eventually you'll have to meet her new boyfriend at which point it will be as painful as the day you left.
I know but I still really like this group of friends, everyone is great and they're the only ones I actually like hanging out with.
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So as someone who's borderline socially autistic / intense social anxiety how do I go about making friends? Where do I go about to meet some new people? How do I overcome this anxiety?
I'm not in education or have a job at the moment so I'm pretty much NEET and hardly have many friends. I'm in Melbourne as well if that helps much.
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>>18575261
>socially autistic
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First you have to realize that socially autistic isn't a thing and just a construct of the internet.
Second the only way to overcome your anxiety is to subject yourself to social situations. Take it easy at first and just go somewhere there are a people. You don't have to talk to anyone but be around people. Then you move onto a bigger crowd. Once your are comfortable with that then you try talking to someone.
I would recommend going to a coffeeshop or something. Not a chain like starbucks that has 500 customers every day but a quiet little mom and pop place. After you have been there and seen these same people a dozen time then start talking to one of them. Its easier than some random person you have never seen before.
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>>18575261
get some internet friends first
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is there anything morally wrong with offering a legitimate service but lying about it? imagine i come to you offering to fix your leaky sink. i call in a friend of mine who fixes your leaky sink and i pocket half the cash. you are none the wiser that i had someone else fix the leaky sink.
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>>18575190
Why are you exploiting your friend, OP?
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>18575190
>Is there something morally wrong with being a contractor?
No.
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>>18575190
It's called running a company and hiring people.
Anonymous
Ex is trying to add me on Facebook 2017-07-31 07:41:05 Post No.18575186
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Ex is trying to add me on Facebook 2017-07-31 07:41:05 Post No.18575186
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Ex is trying to add me on Facebook
Anonymous
2017-07-31 07:41:05
Post No. 18575186
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>4 years ago
>be 20
>dating an 18 year old asian
>she could be a crazy bitch sometimes
>but we had a nice connection
>cooked for me and had a lot of sex
>I made it clear we could never get married because she was a far-left atheist Asian
>she went haywire, started talking to other guys, we broke up
>she kept sending me long insane messages while she was dating a new guy
>I eventually told her to fuck off because her messages were getting really nasty
>4 years later
>we've both graduated college and she moved back to our town
>she just tried to add me on Facebook
I had to be honest with myself and admit that I miss her a little bit. I would never want to date her again, but I miss our friendship and I want to know how she is doing.
I am afraid that she will want to date again and I will have to reject her, then she'll go nuts again.
I just want to talk to her and see how she's doing because I still care about her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings and have her go nuts on me again like last time we broke up.
Should I accept her friend request?
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Forgot to add that we dated for a little over a year
We traveled a bit and saw each other almost every day during that time
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>Should I accept her friend request?
No.
I understand the temptation but it will just lead to more drama.
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>>18575186
Cut ties and move on. I don't see what's good in trying to save something with an ex.
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Has therapy ever helped you? I've suffered 2 sever concussions as a child and now at 21 I feel like I I may have natural form of depression. It's really difficult for me to talk to anyone close about how awful I feel, but I'm always second guessing that I'm just overreacting. I'm constantly flip-flopping over how badly I need a therapist vs. How much money I have (I know they're not cheap)
Any help?
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One shameless selfbump
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>>18575181
I find it helpful to talk to a therapist.
it's nice to have somebody to talk too.
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I suffered from psychosomatism for about a year before i went to a psychiatrist. After about 6 sessions of cognitive behavioural theraphy (i.e. talking), I was as good as new. However, theraphy only works if you are committed. The doctor cannot fix you, you have to fix you. The doctor just knows the best way to do it. Plus, it can feel quite liberating to talk to someone on the outside, someone objective and who tries their best to understand you. These are my two cents. Worth it, if you ask me.
So it's my birthday again and all I want to do is kill myself again. I'm now 25 and I still live my my parents, I'm unathletic, not especially smart, no useful skills or talents in any form art, a kissless virgin, and all of my friends and acquaintances (including the younger ones) have already gotten their undergrad degrees while I'm still struggling with one or two years left. And the vast majority of those friends I'm not even in contact with anymore. Only about 3 respond anymore, and I can at best see them in-person maybe once a month. I'm completely alone now and it seems like I'll be spending the next decade trying to just catch up. Is there something left I have to look forward to? Because nearly every single thing in my life that I ever wanted to get or experience is now gone. Why should I not just kill myself at this point? What should I be working for? Getting a job? Because I've never met a single human being that has ever enjoyed their job their whole life, so I see no reason to look forward to that no matter how nice it might be at first. What am I waiting for now? Because I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every time I have a birthday.
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>>18575148
You should tell me more about your life. Have you seriously never had anything in your life you've been passionate about?
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>>18575148
cuz instead of being edgy, you could try to be happy.
>still live iwth my parents
move out
>im unathletic
play some sports that interest you. jog.
>not especially smart
neither are most people.
>no useful skills or talents
go develop some.
>a kissless virgin
that ones rough at 25, but you can invest elsewhere.
>everyones ahead of me
not really a thing. they got their degrees but that doesn't mean you life is suddenly over. in one or two years you'll have your degree and you'll be living your life just fine. stop worrying about what other people are doing and focus on what you want to do.
>they dont respond
say 'pls respond' .or make more friends. no bull shit here, life is not some big sitcom where you have the same 5 friend sfor life. that is rare, more so now that traveling for work is such a big thing. you will always need to make new friends in life, start now.
>is there something left i have to look forward to
your first kiss, your first sex, your first look at your new abs, your first college degree, your first post college job, your first birthday where you actually throw a party instead of waiting for it to come and then acting all uppity when no one went out of their way to plan one for you.
I have a great birthday every year because i say 'hey guys, its myb irthday next friday, lets go play some lasertags.
>i have never met a single human being who has enjoyed their job in my entire life
i love my job so much, the only part i dont like is once a year i need to transcribe a book but its like 45 minutes a day for a month so its not that bad. everything else is fucking great. im actually excited to go into work tomorrow and finish planning my big summer events.
that being said, you dont need to look forward to a job. look forward to job security and then using your disposable income to enjoy life. the only thing i like more than my job is coming home and working on my movies.
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>>18575148
You get a job for money not so you can enjoy it. You want to move out of your parents place then you gotta get a job. Don't wanna be a kissless virgin? Gonna be a lot easier to fix if you don't live in your parents place.
Your life is shit because you don't have one. Get a job, move out, and start your own life.
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I can't just relax and stop caring about everything. I am anxious and insecure about everything. I am on a camp rn and everybody around is really nice and shit but I can't still relax. I brought a friend here and inside I am panicing that he doesn't like it, tho he says everything is fine. My roomates are all chill. I know that I should't care and enjoy myself but I can't ffs. I feel like dying.
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>>18575141
sounds like you are still in your teens, OP
I can assure you, I'd take little bit of anxiety over a crushing loneliness and depression any fucking time. You really are fine, just do some deep breathing exercise or meditation.
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>>18575163
Obv I am in my teens but even tho I do all this things I am on the edge of crying most of the time. And I blame myself for not having fun. It is as stupid as it sounds.
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>>18575251
Sounds like you are holding your emotions back too much. You need a release. Take a pillow and punch it. Go to a forest and scream for 5 seconds. Try to physically exhaust yourself. Even if you need to cry, go ahead and just do that in a safe place.
Anonymous
Living with female roommates 2017-07-31 07:18:34 Post No.18575119
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Living with female roommates
Anonymous
2017-07-31 07:18:34
Post No. 18575119
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Alright so I have two friends. They are both college aged girls and are graduating soon.
We were discussing moving in together while I finish up school(I'm starting my first semester rn). I really want to do it, for a couple reasons:
1) My major is hard and I currently share a room with my loud 15 yr old brother. There's too many distraction and my work ethic sucks as it is
2) One of them is graduating with her degree with the same major so she could help me with classes and books.
3) As a 22yr old living at home still, my only freedom is going out, I can never bring girls or even friends over.
Now I have some concerns as well:
1) I think one of them might be into me, but idk. I like her and the other friend has said that we would make a good couple. But both of us are mature enough to where if one rejected the other, we could be friends no problem(Like we are now).
2) Living with females. How is it? What about when I bring women over? What about when they're on their periods? These are all questions I need help with from those with experience.
Have a doggo
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I live with two female flatmates due to an administrative mistake by the student dorm. It's pretty chill, they are not messy and I didn'ylt have any problems.
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>>18575119
>What about when they're on their periods?
What? How is this any of your concern unless you're banging them both?
Anyhow, I at one point shared a five bedroom house house with two girls and two guys. The girls were very easy to live with, they were rarely home and when they were they were quiet and clean and always polite.
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>>18575223
I asked them and they said they're not that bad, just really emotional.
But idk I've never lived with females before so I'm new to this.
I'm also worried about how they might act with girls I bring over. You know how women will be unnecessarily bitchy to other girls for no reason? Is it gonna be like that
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What should I do with my life? 28 years old, almost (finally) finished my AA but don't know where to go from here. I took several years off and basically did 1 or 2 classes at a time while I worked full time. All the fields that pay well have very intensive programs (engineering, medical stuff, etc.) so at this point it feels like it will never end. Should I just get a bullshit bachelors (history) or actually try to do a more intensive field of study?
Tl;dr - please halp
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>>18575082
Depends on how motivated you are. If you are low-energy kind of person, getting good at a bullshit major to the point where you can start teaching in this field seems like a way to go. If you are high-energy, get your shit together and aim for more intensive field.
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>>18575101
I also think my other issue is not being able to dedicate myself full time. I worry about taking on shitloads of debt (live with my girlfriend and don't want her to have to finance my ass while I go thru school) in order to be able to focus on school 100% of the time.
Do people generally just saddle themselves with debt so they don't have to work while in school full time?
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>>18575115
Yup, people either get into large student loan debts or if they come from rich family, they'll be on a trust fund.
I have found that if you do neither of the above, the school faculty will never understand why are you not focused on the study, so they start giving you shit for it. Best solution is to pick some sort of e-course or part-time course where you can work and study at alternating days.
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could posting a picture of myself holding a gun on an anonymous forum and a vocaroo saying I'm going to find one of the users be incriminating? my face isn't visible or anything, just my hand and a gun.
like obviously it's a joke but I'm unsure how well some of the other people took it
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>>18575053
It only goes against the law when you mention full name, dates, times, real life locations or other identifiable information. Otherwise, making vague transaggressive statements/jokes cannot get you into legal trouble.
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>>18575053
It's called making a terroristic threat. Refer to global rule #1 while you enjoy your ban.
Little hint: never pull a gun as a joke. It's a good way to wind up dead.
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>>18575053
If you're not being specific or targeting certain individuals, it's actually protected free speech laws.
Anonymous
How do I make friends? 2017-07-31 06:51:51 Post No.18575037
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How do I make friends? 2017-07-31 06:51:51 Post No.18575037
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I'm 18, and in my final year of high school. I don't have any friends, to speak of, and past attempts kind of put me off of it. I was bullied/frozen out of a girl group in year 8, and have since then struggled making connections to people my own age.
I find the conversation tedious, as people seem to gravitate to gossip and partying (which is now legal, for the bulk of my year level) and hooking up, and as I don't really do or enjoy those things, I'm often at a loss for talking points.
I'm a naturally introverted and shy person, but I'm also very, very lonely.
Does anyone know how to make friends, or at least try?
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>>18575037
Go to college and make for a new start. Try to do stuff like working out over the summer to get fit and when you enter college, try to free up some of your free time in your schedule solely to put towards getting to know people around the campus. Even something as little as sitting in the hall, being on smartphone while people around you play ping-pong or something is a good start.
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>>18575050
I would advice against that mentality of "oh I will start being social and approaching strangers once I'm in college". Gain experience and train yourself right now instead. Join a club, join a group relating to one of your hobbies and talk to new people. There are actually a lot of people in high school who think exactly like you OP. It's just that they are introverts and not outgoing so you won't notice and find them as easily as the people you complained about. But the way you make friends doesn't change or gets easier when you get older. So just approach people and get involved in different social circles until you find people you genuinely like.
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>>18575066
>Join a club, join a group relating to one of your hobbies and talk to new people.
That's a bit hard, where I live.
>here are actually a lot of people in high school who think exactly like you OP. It's just that they are introverts and not outgoing so you won't notice and find them as easily as the people you complained about
I haven't noticed any. Even nerdy kids have a group together, and are so "men only" I wouldn't think of joining them.
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Does this board help? I have a lot of stuff I could use helpful advice on…
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>>18575016
Depends on what you need help regarding. If it's a medical issue, just go to the doctor. Other questions may or may not have someone knowledgeable on the subject.
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I'v all ready went to the doctor for antidepressants, I just have life questions and the like nothing I need to go to therapy or anything just some issues I could use some help on
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>>18575016
I can help you OP, just try to be concise and clearly state the question.
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im 19 and my father and i have the weirdest relationship, and through a bunch of strange family rumors and secrets he may or may not even be my father. But he was a good father he always treated me right no abuse we had fun we did daddy daughter stuff all the time. My mother left for "bigger things" after my 11th birthday. But recently, as in 2 and half weeks ago, i was making cookies and my father came up behind me grabbing my hips and complimenting me. It then escalated to kisses on my neck which was strange but he i so large and scary i thought he may kill me if i struggle or cry out. This was the weird part he then came into my room after giving up trying to fuck me and asked me "do you have a boyfriend" with the response of no he went into a Speech about how much he loves me and how good of a boyfriend he would be. But then i realized 2 things
1) this guy might not be my dad
2) he sounds like the best boyfriend i could ever have and in MY bed He leans in for the kiss and i kiss him back realizing he is great kisser but i realized that he tastes of beer and that maybe he is just drunk and if i go along with it ill wake up in the morning and he'll either apologize of forget.
but he didn't the next day he woke up and took me on a date a real fr date that was expensive and he was so sweet and kind and complimented me and touched my hair. Home from dinner i decided to see where it would go we make out on his bed and he gropes my butt and boobs and then he pulls down and pulls out this massive errection he told us on the second date its 7 inches soft! but id had sex with 8 guys before him and he was the best fuck ive ever had he treated me the way i wanteed and understood every single kink and fetish i have without me even vocalizing.
So heres the issue
Do i stay with the man who treats me wonderful and gives me the greatest cock and spankings ive ever had but maybe he is my dad
or leave him not knowing if the chances are on my side.
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>>18575007
The point is, do you want?
I can understand his point of view (don't judge me, please), and the first thing you would like to know is if he only want a physical relationship, or, on the contrary, he's deep into you. A normal person would say "don't do it, that's incest and it's bad, hurr durr he's a criminal". I'll just say, if that makes you happy do it, but if you feel uncomfortable don't, also you're over 18 and there's no legal issues (well, depends on the country).
Allow me to ask something. How old is he? Do you see yourself in a long-term relationship with him?
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>>18575007
>pulls out this massive erection he told us on the second date its 7 inches soft
Since you write fantasy sexcapades add an inch or two to his penis you killed this story
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Let's keep it alive because I'm curious,
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Please give me one good reason why I shouldn't just end my suffering right now.
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Just do it
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>>18575002
Someone will have to clean up the mess. Even if nobody gives a shit about you, you will be giving people work to do without paying for it.
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>>18575017
So? What do I care, I’ll be dead. And I’m pretty sure police departments already budget for suicide cleanup anyway.