Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 737. page

Endure it, bro...

She is passing through a hard time, it seems. She seems to like you, too.
What I can tell from what you said is that time will settle things.

It's a pain in the ass to hear "wait and hang in there", but I do think this is the case.

>>18589011
she will most likely fuck someone at that wedding, she's in the perfect mental status to fall for some meme talk and getting fucked in the ass, a good ol pump and dump

also, whos that semen demon

>>18589075
This honestly, she's in a delicate time of her life. Some dude will definitely try and initiate something with her and with her current state of mind it's very plausible she'll give in to it.
But all this is just thinking in a what if scenario though it has a high possibility of happening. The real advice is to just really expect the worse and hope nothing bad happens OP

tl;dr: depressed gf had to come abroad with me, stayed because of broken hand, seems growing distant, promises to come. Feel absolutely wrecked, help

Shift the focus to her, bro...
I mean, it's clear to me the focus is on you. You want her attention, you want her love... Meanwhile, she's in the hospital, with a broken hand and a smothering mother.
You travelled to a shit job for a few time.

Did you notice the difference there? She BROKE HER FUCKIN HAND man... She is depressed with a smothing mother... She is the one in need of support.

Sorry to throw it like that, if it hurt you. I have best wishes though!

What I think you should do is go there visit her. Surprise or not, your call. Bring her something that shows you like her and is there for her, even if you are afar.
You presence alone will help her, will support her. And that will most likely bring her to realize you love her, and you want her good. At least on this episode you'll be very helpful to her, a great boyfriend.

>>18589001
nice get
If she's recovering, she has a lot of time to sit and think. If she's prone to abandonment anxiety, or any anxiety, this is when it will be strongest. Being operated on can also be traumatic for some people. Do not smother her. Do not worry, do not be desperate. Be kind to her and be patient. Show that you are a strong, dependable person who will be there for her. Note that I said "show". Don't talk about it, don't promise this or that. No one wants to depend on a person who freaks out.

Going back in two weeks is almost september. Did you two make a mutual goal to stay in this country? Then stay and do what you can to prepare for her arrival. Chill out, occupy your time.

>>18588989
I mean, legally it is yours and she should keep that in mind. You've given her everything extremely fast. Your love, your place, your financial support, I think that makes you uninteresting

That's sad to read, anon.
Still, it's an early relationship in your life, you have a lot ahead, so don't feel so imprisioned on it, although you like her a lot. You are not giving up on her qualities and liking her if you break up, you can still admire her.

About what she said, yes, the unconcious usually is way more honest. In any case, when you are in anger and fighting, the emotional rush in your body will make you overstep your boundaries.

The unconcious mind has no time, it doesn't understand it (that's why we still act the same we did when kids if confronted by a traumatic experience again), so it doesn't matter what you feel for her, but the moment, and in the moment you felt anger and wanted to assert your domain.

Still, we're not just unconciousness, and concious minds do have a saying and should be heard...
ABout the time without sex, that has a way to change our emotions... Make us edgy... I think you guys lost intimacy a long time ago, but it's not too late to recover it.

Do you have defined roles in the house? If you pay for everything, does she cook/clean/laundry or do other things? Are the fights caused by you making her job harder leaving everything up to her since you pay everything?
There's a lot of possible explanations, if she contributes nothing but still pick fights she probably isn't ready for the stress of living together and you should probably rethink your relationship.

>>18588984
Honesty is not the best route that just something people say so its easier to manipulate the naive. You shouldve kept it to yourself and never did it again now youre causing problems for your friends marriage and losing a friend yourself stop thinking with your feelings and when making a decision think abiut what you have to gain or lose from the possible outcomes rather than how youll feel

Give him time, give him space...

Anger is something that only times diminishes, and sometimes even time needs some help to do it.

Still, only time, again, will tone down his anger.

Just to note out: I do think honesty is the right way, but messing with his girl was wrong enough already, so why turn right after that?...

>>18588984
Flirting like how. Just fun banter or were you guys getting into specifics? Also, why did you tell him when his wife didn't and what has she said to you about this?

>>18588877
No

>>18588877
Get anxiety medication. Then look for 6/10 to start off

>>18588880
Im in the Uk i doubt i can go to the doc and ask for meds because i cant talk to girls. Drinking helps a lot.
>>18588879
how do i start getting over it? my lack of experience is really starting to bug me

Have you met in real life?

>>18588872
No

>>18588864
LDRs are a meme, but it's nice to mic chat / flirt with qts from all around the world.

Feeling the affection is really invigorating even if both parties know deep down that you'll never meet.

>>18588852
A friend of mine had this issue the doctor told him it was bc when he did fap he gripped hard for maximum feeling and that destroyed the nerves on his dick so he cant actually enjoy real sex bc no pussy is that tight id say stop touching your dick completely and hope you get some feeling back but as far as i lnow theres no way to regrow nerves without stem cell therapy

>>18588867
>>18588852
It's called Death Grip Syndrome.

http://www.curedeathgrip.com/plan-a.html

>>18588852
Time to do no fap until you will be so horny you will cum. It can take weeks.

>>18588919
This.

>>18588827
>this whole story
You're just as dumb as your father and his gf

>>18588827
>I was drunk, in a very fucking bad emotional state and she's kind of hot in this trashy way so I decided to go with it. As far as I remember there was no condom.
At this point you are no better than your father.
Congrats on being a monkey and taking over your fathers role.

>>18588835
In retrospect, yeah no shit.

>>18588839
Is this a church? I know I fucked up and I regret that I did.

Help a man out here.

>>18588823
Tumblr
Lmao

>>18588824
>a girl, that despises services like tinder and facebook
This includes tumblr, imgu, etc.
No attention-whoring services at all.

A graveyard

>>18588809
>won't blow you
>won't do anal
>won't fight thru the discomfort and let you fuck

shit tier. drop this dumb bitch. Sex is important and healthy and you deserve someone who can provide it.

>>18588809
How long are you together? How long will the sores be there? If she's virgin waiting half a year and more is nothing special. Deal with ir instead of using her like a whore.

>>18588809
Since youre so interested in having a gf who iant a whore youre going to have to go without sex its literally what youre asking for

Literally stop being a faggot

>>18588807
What is it that turns you on about watching gay porn?
Is it another man getting fucked? If so, you could ask your girl for pegging.

>>18588829
NO. DON'T DO THAT OP.

Your girlfriend, even if sexually open, will not see you as a complete male after that. I'm not kidding. I'm a switcher myself and had a real great thing going on with a great guy. He asked me if we could try pegging, I said sure, why not. It even was fun for me. But weeks have gone by and I began to realize that my behaviour towards him has changed. I couln't make it unseen, that he has freely kneed down and let a woman fuck him. Even though I didn't realise it on the spot, after reading about it on fetlife and how other females have seen the same happen to them I have seen it on myself. From that point on I knew that the relationship was over, because I simply deep inside could not respect him anymore. Again, I am not prude, on the contrary but deep inside my biology has taken the wheel. No rationalization helped.

Don't do it to yourself, anon. Getting fucked is not worth loosing your gf over it. Because she will fall out of respect and love and look for a stronger man. That's a hart pill to swallow but that's just how it is.

If you really can't cease this degeneracy, just fap to it and get a dildo. Don't make your gf go through this.

>>18588795
Elaborate significantly how are they ruining your life? What is this prank? How old are you? why dont you have a job?

Not enough details... But I'd keep using them until you can support yourself, maybe don't abandon them if it's unnecessary (more support is better for you)

>>18588798
>>18588799

Long story short the last two years of my life have revolved around securing a student loan and going away to school so I can be a full time student and avoid graduating when I'm 29+ like I will at the current pace I've been doing.

So every semester, my parents have come up with an excuse that they can't co-sign a student loan for me. And they always tell me that right after insisting that it'll happen.

"Teehee anon of course I'll co-sign your loan, spend hundreds of dollars applying to all these schools!"

Only to literally laugh at me once when I asked for a loan, and then turn around and look at me like I've never spoken about it twice.

The fucked up part is I have a little brother that also attends college and he basically asked my parents once for a loan and he got his within a week. You judge that situation for yourself. I'm too old not have a definite life plan and it feels like my parents are messing with me in the most malicious way. I don't have any other options but enlisting in the military really. My family keeps lying to me and has wasted the last two years of my life. If I knew there was no way for me to secure money for college I could've navigated my life into something of a better situation.

Thanks for not killing me in my sleep.

Thanks for tolerating me.

Thanks for being adequate.

Out of those I'd maybe go with 3, there's something about 4 that doesn't really fit well, maybe it's the sentence order. Maybe "Ever since I met you, I wake up with a smile" might be better

>>18588784
Yeah there's something that just doesn't sound right with these but I can't word them better.

I took it for 16 years. Kept my depression 'at bay' (how much better could life have been if I'd dealt with the real problem sooner. It's usually a symptom of something deeper. It eventually Made things worse. Started with depression, ended up with ptsd and Bi polar diagnosis. Got off it 18 mos ago. Had to go to health recovery center in Minn. much better. But, Still depressed. Now, I have to find the cause and deal with it. Wasted time and in worse shape to fight. Dig into yourself and find the cause. I used traditional yoga and ayurveda. Not just postures, the philosophy, psychology, self inquiry, meditation and lifestyle. Check out Patanjalis Yoga Sutras or anything on Vedanta, Yoga philosophy. Placebo is about is effective as meds. Gl bro/sis.

>>18588709
yeah i have been looking into and just causualy looking up general shit about philosophy and psychology. basically what your doing except the yoga.

but yeah it defiantly doesn't solve anything but helps keep it more manageable. I mean i kinda know all the underlying issues( I was kinda molested by proxy(kid was molested by uncle and became hyper sexualized and didn't know anybetter) by the son of a baby sitter(same age and friend both boys) i had when i was like in pre-school that i have never told anyone about even my therapists. it wasn't like forced or anything i was just confused and naive like any kid that age should be cause this isn't really normal. he told me to like try to stick my penis in his ass cause he played this one game before with his uncle then when that didn't work cause i couldn't get hard/am straight we fondled each others twig and berries. the trauma is more from just like actually having grown up and developed a brain that was more self aware and being like wtf why did that happen and why did i let it happen. don't hold anything against the kid cause he was just as innocent as me. also my mother comes from a home that had alcoholic domestic violence and was also molested with a screwdriver handle at about the same age as me. and my dad grew up as the youngest in a blue collar family cause he was an accident so his siblings were much older. his father, my grandfather (rip to both my fathers parents) kinda had serious undiagnosed adhd and was constantly working and would give my dad chores that had no purpose to try to keep him busy/teach him work ethic. when my dad was like in 2nd or 3rd grade he made his dad an invitation to his birthday and he got it back with something basically saying he had to work so he could support them but really it's one of those things as a father that you drop everything for cause it's not like one day off is gonna get him fired from his job at a quarry in a small town. just shit like that.

>>18588709
but yeah my parents have become pretty successful and more mental sound given their circumstances with some hard work, but their experiences still kinda influence how im raised so its kinda like im just one factor removed from ground zero most of the time. and depression just runs down my entire moms side of the family cause every male on that side has been an alcoholic or drug addict in recent generations.

Ive been on welbutrin since like late October 2015
because i decided to do this dual enrollment running start program for my junior year of hs where i took all my classes at a community college where i was separaterated from my friends who have basically since 7th grade have really been at max acquaintances cause i had basically this one best friend who was more of a baseball bro who always wore oakleys and a flat brimmed hat if you kinda get what im saying. id know him since kindergarten and been freinds since like3rd grade but i was more of a nerd but not a complete neckbeard cause i was decent at sports but eventually one time we were hanging out at a hockey game and i pointed out his other friend a couple of sections away and he went over there didnt tell me if he was coming back. went over there to see whats up and he plays it off like he wasnt with me and they kinda kek like wtf are you here. i end up walking the concourse sick to my stomach for like 30mins. since then i havent really been able to invest emotionally in a friendship to have one cause i dont want to lose anything i guess. but yeah im trying to set myself up to where im put in social situations alot more in college and actually am able to have and maintain a freindship. i mean you probably arent on this thread anymore but it feels good to get this out anonymously even though this is fucking /pol/ and not necessarily a fucking therapy session.

I actually posted this word for word a few days ago, so here's an update. I'm still a complete wreck. I stopped cutting, and it's driving me insane. Nothing really changed over all. I'm still miserable. I'm still just, bleh.

discord?