Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 721. page

>>18593918
pop it with a heroin needle

Usually you go to a doctor who has the jopb to know it and ask him for help. Going to the internet with health problems isn't a good idea if you cannot know who tells you the information.

>>18593918
That probably needs incision and drainage with antibiotics. I would go to the doctor- fucking with an abscess can cause it to be worse.

if she's cool tell her. If not don't.

>>18593934
Oh thanks m8

Is she the kind of person that would leave you if she does not reciprocate your feelings? I was in a pretty similar situation few months ago, but the girl was one of my best friends, not just good. We went to a cinema and then for beer, our usual routine. While casually talking the topic kinda drifted towards relationship, so at one point I said: "Hey, I've got to tell you two things. One, no matter what happens we're still friends. No matter what. Second, I've been crushing on you for the better half of the year."

She was obviously surprised, but it was all light-hearted. She wasn't feeling this way about me, and even apologised, but I reminded her about what was the first thing I told her. The rest of the evening was amazing, finally talking about some topics I avoided previously, laughing at how some situations were completely different to me because I had feelings for her, and so on. We became even better friends. We can talk openly about literally anything. And I quickly learnt to appreciate our friendship for what it is. I still love her. She's still awesome. But I'm more happy that she's close to me than I'm sad that she's not even closer. It all depends on the person, anon. If, when rejected, you don't become an edgy dick or stick around just in hopes of her changing her mind there's literally no reason for you to stop being friends. If she's not dumb she should understand that and not run away just because you though about something more. Don't make it awkward for her and she'll have no reason to leave.

>>18593908
Why can't you move together with your boyfriend AND go for bachelor's degree?
Also what's the worst thing that can happen if you come out to your parents?

>>18593908
even though you are a faggot you're also a man. move in with your bf and get your degree. don't come out if you don't see an immediate net benefit

the biggest potential issue here is the 1-bedroom thing, it gets psychologically cramped

>>18594739
That's what I'm planning on doing. I just fear that eventually things are going to add up. I don't want to just end up being "the gay son" for my whole life.
>>18594745
You and the guy above you are right. I really do need to just do it once I am able. My plan is to get a warehouse job somewhere around Indianapolis and coast off the money until I can find something better.

>>18593905
She's trying to reach out for you for comfort and empathy. By dismissing her pain or making her feel like her problem and emotions are stupid, you're showing her that it's not safe to open up or get close to you. She may start to withdraw and distance herself if she feels she can't rely on you and you don't have her back

>>18593923
Okay, but why are they retarded?

>>18593923
this guy speaks truth.

do your eyerolling after she is gone. I can't handle when my gf does that shit either, but I just play the game.

Yes, definitely

>>18593903
Yeah, and if you survive it you'll have turned gay.

>>18593903
100 strokes, with a firm hairbrush, every evening

any weeb who is serious about the 2D thing is not worth your time

are you desperate or something?

Damn, a guy actually made good on the 2D > 3D thing by telling a women off. You know these are dark times when things like that happen.

So, why do you think 2D women are better than 3D women in men's eyes? Real women come with baggage and such. Maybe try improving yourself mentally and physically?

>>18593899
if you're being serious, describe yourself in more detail
it's possible he only said that because he wanted to let you down gently because he finds something about you that's repulsive rather than actually believing 2d > 3d.

>>18593890
You don't "need" one. Portfolio is more important. All the material they'd provide you with at some paid course is most likely ripped off from some free online source anyway. If you get a programming job, you'll spend most of your time teaching yourself anyway. It's a good idea to consider what you want to specialized in, since "programming" is such a broad field.

If you want to have a shot at getting a job, but can't be bothered with actually learning the subject, then you should probably focus on getting a degree.

>>18593925
I actually am interested in learning, not sure if I should stick with python though.

You need exp in a paid work env. People will tell you volunteer work will do but it will not (at least not that alone). You can teach yourself but be aware most places youll like apply will expect exp in the frameworks they use (usually 1 year or more). The problem becomes which framework to choose? Knowing the language is less important today than ever because, imo, anyone can learn basic syntax from a few dozen sites. The market is filled with code campers and reactor haxors... Point is places can be picky about who they want and hold out or be man bun fucktards who feel only people who were naturally attracted to their specific tooling config are worthy of thei non-gmo workplace. No one wants jr devs anymore either (at least not most of North America). With ALL of that said get the degree; not because you need it but because each year you can intern and hopefully by year 3 or 4 you get paid for your work and can put it on your resume as an actual job(ask the boss whrn the time comes). You could do all that without chasing the degree but you might as well since youll be living the lifestyle for a while. Good luck!

>>18593876

Their true nature is to be dominating and cruel. Treat each and everyone they knew like a normal person but me as barely human, especially when we were alone. Very few people other than my family know about their true nature.

They somehow want to own me and see the act of me shutting them out as overtaking 'their' property. I am forced to meet them whenever there are family gatherings, when we do meet, they regularly demean and degrade me.

They constantly try to turn my parents against me and barge into my life with the pretense of 'helping' me. I dont even ask for their help. Its almost amusing because they then proceed to try and control each and every little thing, its like they want to live through me. In the end, all the helping does is give them an excuse to barge into my life and continue their toxic behavior.

How do I deal with this? Another thing about this person is that you can never hold a normal conversation without it turning into a fight. It seems, especially with me, they HAVE to put me down every time. So I can either let up ( which I usually do because figting them means a full on screaming match) or have a nice public screaming match with them, which is shit.
They are highly manipulative to the point of sociopathy. In the near future, I'll be forced to interact with them a lot and even negotiate with them. This person has never respected me as family nor as a human being but takes every chance to barge into my life. They are also trying to convince my parents about how I should let them into my life always but as my whole life has taught me, that is plain wrong.

How do I deal with such a person?

>>18593876
Probably dealing with a lot of insecurities and shit and is generally afraid of people and gets shit on a lot. But has a huge amount of comfort with you so all the pain comes out as an assault to affirm his/herself. My big clue is the fact you mentioned theyre cool around everyone but you and seeks to dominate you.

They got a lot to deal with and probably needs a doctor.

Im not a fan at all of freudian or jungian psychology as its unscientific and relies on observation based on no test models, and applies blanket solutions to unique individuals.. ill make that clear, even though thats exactly what im doing now...


But ive met people like this enough in my life and this has generally been the pattern. People need to feel in control of their lives and they need to feel affirmed.

If everyone around them misunderstands them or treats them like filth, theyre usually going to try and dominate someone around whom they feel most comfortable.

It isnt a conscious decision, so dont thinm your family member is driving home going "ima get anon to feel better nyahhh". Its more subconscious than that. But id bet all my pogs thats exactly whats happening here...

>>18593876

I reckon you need to get proof of their vile rotting corpse of a character, and show it to the rest of your family.

For example, in >>61734697 this thread over on /g/, one guy explains how he uses a special voice recording program on an old smartphone to record people.

You could do something like that, and then record some private interactions between you and your siblings that really show their two-faced nature and how they really treat you when no one's watching.

Once you out them to the family, their influence in the family could fall out under them, and they could lose the organizational power they have to impose onto your life.

Its a shame about them trying to control you of top of treating you like shit. I hope you don't let them, one millimeter. This sort of thing usually takes a long time to gain a handle on. For example in my family, I'm the youngest but have the strongest will. I don't impose on anyone at all. But, if any of my family ever thought of controlling my life, they'd shit their pants. I did this through years of social engineering, right from childhood; It took a long time.

>>18593867
I had a similar situation. I was celibate for 4 years and when I finally met someone and tried to be intimate I would go soft after fucking for a bit and I would never cum.

I ended up buying some Viagra/Cialis. It kept me hard enough to finish the job and after using it for a while I was able to stop. It was all mental. I just had to get back in it and I was fine. I didn't use anything for the remainder of our relationship.

>>18593878
I was hard earlier in the night but when we got to the bedroom it just wouldn't stay.
I'm just glad she wasn't too bothered and is still interested.

Had a lot of trouble ages 18-21. Most likely candidate in the beginning was death grip. When I got my first blowjob my immediate first reaction was "that's it?"

I didn't realize that a big part of sexual enjoyment is mental. I also got extremely paranoid about not staying hard, which would stress me out, which would make me not relax, and then I'd lose my erection. Which would then feed my paranoia for the next time it happened.

I used to bring it up with new women and then just try to relax and if it worked out great, if not then oh well. Eventually I was doing great.

Now I don't bother to tell women I meet because I do fine now. I realize it's about just enjoying it, if you don't stay hard then oh well. Hard to get into that mentality without it being a self-lie, though.

Still can't handle long-term teasing. If my dick gets played with lightly for 15+ minutes it eventually thinks it isn't getting laid and even if the girl is suddenly "oh let's do penetration now" it just won't work. I hate extended foreplay.

>>18593864
What do you mean by ending up psycotic

File: 1403487701936.jpg (21KB, 193x182px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 193x182px

>>18593864
>leave rehab
>stay sober for 2.5 months
>suicidal thoughts again 24/7
>back to using again

>try going to a psychiatrist
>she tells me that I can't stop using, tells me that I should be in a psych ward or in a long-term rehab program

>literally everyone tells me the only hope of an addict is the 12 step program
>I'm an edgy atheist robot

>try going to Narcotics Anonymous (NA) through the course of 2017
>can't stay the whole meetings because being surrounded by Chads and Stacies makes me want to puke
>I go yesterday, a literal 21 year old spoiled Stacy crying about her vagina
>I instantly leave

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't have the balls to kill myself, being a drug addict is a slow and painful death. I hate everyone and going to NA is hard because I literally hate everyone. I'm not going back to the psych ward again because nothing is fucking optional, if you're getting injected shit every 6 hours for 3 days and being tied up nothing will fucking change that.

>>18593871
Psychosic episode, being detached from reality, hallucinations, irrational thoughts that don't make sense, being disoriented, being confused, being scared.

>>18593817
Use a better camera and ask /an/ they will know

>>18593817
Dry ice is a neat idea. Making a little kill box. Should work in principle.

>>18593844
Their so tiny :( that's the best camera I have. It's on a moto z cell phone. The fact it's taking pics even at this quality is amazing. The front glass protecting the lens is shattered ever since I broke it. Their very small reddish black ants. The picture was taken on college ruled lined paper for scale.

>>18593753
Don't overdue it at first, if you wanna be sarcastic; do it to where its obvious but playful. If you see she's more comfortable with it in the future, then I guess you can be more sarcastic as your relationship with the girl goes.
>I have a hard time finding responses and opening a conversation because I'm constantly overthinking.
As for this, I can only suggest you try not to overcompensate on things, and just go with whatever's happening in the situations, maybe have some nice small talk's here and there if you're having trouble finding stuff to talk about.

>>18593753
Sarcasm and irony are very, very VERY hard to communicate in print. Save them for in-person conversation where you can signal your intent by facial expression (and even then be prepared to be misunderstood)

My sense of humor is dry as fuck but I use emojis when I say something I feel might go over someones head as humor. For people who really know me, I don't need to do that but I do it when I'm worried someone might just think I'm being a dick because the text doesn't convey the humor in the way it would if said out loud.

>>18593746
Possibilities:
1. In her relationships with close loved ones (parents, siblings, peers), there wasn't a lot of love, and she often felt neglected and began to withdraw her emotions and deny her need for emotional connection to protect herself from future pain
2. Her relationships (parents, past relationships, current relationship) have been more directly harmful, hurting her or scaring her into believing emotionally close relationships are dangerous.
3. Options I'm not currently thinking of.

When we're children, we rely on our parent. We depend on them for comfort, bonding, security. Babies that have been neglected will choose a squishy blanket over food, even if they're really hungry. This dependence on others carries over into adulthood, and as we get older we have the potential for more relationships--for better and for worse. Someone with an emotionally healthy childhood can be ruined by a traumatic event where their friends ridiculed them and they learned to shut themselves off and not let people get too close. Other people learn that as soon as they're old enough to have thoughts.

Good thing is that you can retrain your brain and open yourself up to being more emotionally expressive. It's hard work, though. It's scary as fuck letting people in.

Tell her how you feel and ask her.

>>18593760
>>18593746

Option 4. She just doesn't express love in those ways. People have different ways they express affection. My ex usually wasn't that much of a kisser, but over time got used to it because this
is how I expressed it. But it took a few months. Tell her that her behaviour makes you feel rejected and ask her why she does not like this. Be supportive and curious instead of accusing and demanding. After all you're learning more about your love to help your relationship grow further. Make sure she knows that. She should feel more comfortable. Maybe she'll "let you in", maybe you'll find another way of showing love that you both really like. Talk. A lot. It really helps in relationships.

dont get married

only get married for religious purposes
And besides: women who have had more than one sexual partner are way more likely to divorce than women who have only had one

>>18593669
Talk to her about this. Tell her how this incident makes you feel.

Cheating doesn't have to spell the end of a relationship. I'm in a relationship where my partner cheated on me. We worked through our issues, and now our bond is stronger than ever. I fully believe they won't do it again because now we have the communication skills to discuss when we have issues that need to be worked on instead of looking for a solution outside of the relationship.

>>18593669
I dunno man, even if she did fuck him, you guys had only been on one date. Talking about being a "couple" after one date is artificial because neither of you knew each other well enough and weren't emotionally involved or attached enough to really be a couple yet. Now, I hate women, but this one sounds alright honestly. If you can marry a girl that's only had ONE other sex partner, that's a fucking miracle in this day and age. She doesn't sound like the type to cheat.

>>18593608
All the lazy eyed people I've met were more social than me.

>>18593608
A kid I went to school with had a lazy eye and I found it really off putting. She was out there so she would've got bullied anyway, but the lazy eye was the icing on an ugly cake.

Get surgery if you can. If not, I'd wear an eyepatch. At least that would be a conversation starter.

>>18593627
I am young so I don't think I can afford it yet. Should the surgery be a priority?