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How do I become less impulsive with emotional decisions? I recently fell in love after a long time and I've stopped rationalizing a lot of my decisions. Any tips?
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So I started talking to this girl recently through a dating website, and I ended up getting her number. I've been out of the dating game for a long time, due to getting out of a long term relationship recently, so I'm quite lost.
How often should I be texting her if we haven't met in person yet? We're supposed to go out together next weekend. She's said that she doesn't text much since she doesnt really talk a lot, but she doesn't mind it when I text her.
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Text her as often as you have something worthwhile to say, which is probably very infrequently if you haven't met.
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>>18580573
What would honestly count as worthwhile? My ex and I texted each other about everything, from how work was to how we were doing, so that's what I'm used to.
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I am in therapy for a depression, suicidal plans etc.
Psychologist says he can't do much for me if I don't want to socialise with other people.
I have always been a bit of a loner and the depression certainly didn't help. But I like my life this way. I have literally 0 friends but I have also 0 interest in other people. I don't hate other people, I just don't care for them. I get really tired from talking and listening to people.
Is it really the only way? Even if you're fine with being alone?
My only friend is my dog which sounds weird but he is the only one who I like to hang out with.
Pic is my dog.
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>>18619220
That's such a beautiful dog
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>>18619220
I'm like that too, I guess you have to force yourself until it sticks, maybe?
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>>18619220
That's a nice looking dog?
What kind is it?
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How do I deal with stress?
I've just turned 18 and I've never really handled stress well, and I'm going into the armed forces, and there are added stresses to my life.
I need the secret to being able to handle stressful situations and not letting them haunt over me.
All I do currently is listen ELO to feel better
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>>18580519
>ELO
I wanted to like them, I really did, but I listened to two albums and hated both
As far as your question, deep breathing and meditation. Put difficult situations in perspective and they become easy to handle.
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>>18580525
I don't know if I can take the advice of a man who doesn't like ELO
Thanks though, I don't think I can do medication. Perhaps it age, but I just can't do it seriously.
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>Want to change
>Feel inspired to change
>Remeber all the time I've wasted
>Feel like shit
What do?
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change of course
Anonymous
What should kind of present should i get for my guitar teacher? 2017-08-02 12:48:52 Post No.18580448
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What should kind of present should i get for my guitar teacher? 2017-08-02 12:48:52 Post No.18580448
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What should kind of present should i get for my guitar teacher?
Anonymous
2017-08-02 12:48:52
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Im going to uni in 20 days, and i have 2 more lessons with my guitar teacher of 9 years. I feel like i should get him something good because he has been a great guy, but i really dont know what to get him. Im not too sure what his favorite band is, and i would feel like an ass asking him at this point. Please, i really need some advice
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>>18580448
What else do you know about him? Something not guitar or music might be better, because it shows that you recognize he has a life outside of it (assuming that he does)
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>>18580456
Unfortunately, i really dont know. I feel like such a goddamn asshole because i really cant think of anything.
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>>18580448
Dress as a guitar and let him fiddle your string.
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Advice on mediating or where to begin with it?
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Not too big on meditation, but check out an artist called MRM Team, They make great meditation and relaxation music.
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http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books/Ven_Vimalaramsi_The_Bare-Bones_Instructions_to_Anapanasati.pdf
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go to a zen center
Help me brainstorm this shit adv.
Im thinking about starting a small bussiness that I could handle without employees or atleast not more than 2-3 people. I have some money to start it so it shouldnt be a problem but I dont know how to approach it.
I live in an small very touristic Island with a population of 170K so it has cons as in less potential coustumers (low resident population but a lot of tourist if I target them) and pros as surely theres stuff missing here that I could copy from somewhere in the world and bring in.
Some info about me so we can guess where I should focus:
>Im used to work hard, as in physical work but Im not bad at learning
>Know to code a bit but not enough to work as developer (some .NET stuff) and dont like it that much to learn more
>I know to set up a good looking simple web along with the artistic part needed (logos, banners, etc)
>Decent managing money and budgets thanks to previous jobs
I know its a lot of shit, just wondering if I should approach as in looking for what its needed whatever it is and chasing it or go for something that may be already here but more in line with my own skills.
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kinda go in between both and split the difference. what needs or wants do the people have that aren't currently being met? or could be met better (ie higher quality and/or more efficiently)? the stuff that falls in line with your own skills and abilities will naturally jump out at you first. those are the ones to focus on and investigate further.
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How to cope with the fact I'm a bottom 5% male? All my friends are smarter, taller and better looking than me. Same for most people I have contact with.
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>>18619108
Focus on shit you can work on or change. You can learn confidence, and that'll get you far.
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>>18619129
confidence is a meme
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Give up
Also don't ask that shit on /adv/ because people here unironically believe that hard work can 100% compensate for everything else
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Can fapping to charge a sigil be considered blood magick because I'm giving sperm?
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HAHA WHOOPS that was meant for /x/
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>>18580356
You made this thread there yesterday, faggot.
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>>18580351
Now i know what i will do tommorow.
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OK, so I am a pretty legit arachnophobe - not the modern "ew a spider, creepy" but close to absolute terror of the things. I try really fucking hard to keep them all as far away as possible through all these insnse and home remedy type things. I just spent a good half hour trying to deal with one under my fucking bed at 1 am that was big enough I could hear it moving. I need help, how the fuck can I keep spider away and in the inevitable situation that one makes it in - how do you quickly deal with them. And I'd appricate it if this advice is phobe friendly - I won't be charging them and putting glasses over them any time soon. Thanks
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I think you're in bad luck then. Spiders are everywhere and the more you kill the better they become at hiding. Try going to a shrink to help you with your phobia.
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electronic parts cleaner will kill any bug you can get a good shot off at. fast too. cockroaches scare me the worst i think. fuckers are too big and too quick. but electronic parts cleaner = the little faggot scurrying full speed ahead won't make it even 12 inches away from ground zero before flipping over and croaking. iirc spiders p much die on the spot but i discovered this one right around the same time i stopped being afraid of spiders so maybe still be on your toes and ready to run away screaming like a little bitch like i still do if the bug turns out to be anything but a spider lmao. fucking hell. phobias are weird. spiders are great though. dave knocks over everything that makes me scream and doesn't afraid of anything :D
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>>18580365
Fuckkk man, if I could afford a shirnk for fixing a phobia I'd just have bought a flamethrower by now
>>18580457
Laughed p hard at your post - imagining the bug Armageddon. Is it like a spray, something I can pick up online?
Anonymous
How to deal with people who won't confront communication problems? 2017-08-01 11:57:51 Post No.18580282
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How to deal with people who won't confront communication problems? 2017-08-01 11:57:51 Post No.18580282
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How to deal with people who won't confront communication problems?
Anonymous
2017-08-01 11:57:51
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Good afternoon, /adv/!
>friend and i live in opposite timezones now
>talk to friend every day either on the phone or texting
>comfortable enough to talk about nearly anything
>observant and focused on me when we're actually speaking or physically around one another
>sparse, distracted conversation at all other times
>vocalized my concerns twice, no changes in behavior
>decide this doesn't make me happy, try to cut back on talking
>friend gets really angry at me for trying to distance myself
>i tell them i'm unhappy with how things are
>makes accusation that withholding my affection doesn't help, ignores other issues
>go to bed annoyed, wakes up like nothing is wrong
>never brings up the issues again
>repeat
We talk constantly and I get frustrated with boring "filler" replies for hours to days at a time. We have no trouble with long meaningful conversations when we're speaking in person, this is only an issue online/when we text. I don't want to lose my friend but his unwillingness to address the issue makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. To reiterate, my problem is when he does this over long periods of time.
Are my expectations unrealistic? Am I just being strung around for entertainment? What can I do to fix things?
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I don't have much for you other than that opposite timezone relationships (in your case friendship) are difficult and require both parties to be dedicated in order to survive
are you female?
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bump for help
>>18580637
i am, was it easy to guess by my reaction?
it has been difficult, i'm not sure what to do if he won't compromise. thanks for the note though
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I've always sought long term, meaningful relationships. I've always wanted to love and be loved, to see someone as the most amazing and beautiful person on the planet.
>Hanging with my sister, she invites her friend over
>sister heads to bed, her friend and I stay up for 8 hours talking
>we exchange contact info, start hanging out frequently
>been talking for just short of 2 weeks, she stays the night and we fool around a little
>I know she doesn't want to have kids, or get married, hasn't had a relationship longer than 3 months
>Despite this, I like her but I'm concerned I'll wind up falling for someone who isn't emotionally available
I'm really tired of being alone, but I don't want to break myself because of it. Any thoughts?
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Anyone else for much experienced with anxiety?
Basically I've been offered a job I'm really looking forward to, but I'm so anxious that something is gonna screw up before it starts that will make me lose the opportunity.
It's making me sleep less and I barely have an appetite.
Anyone have some non-medicated methods for calming myself down?
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>>18580244
I have Anxiety like that
Remember that you deserve good thing. Drink some beer.
Meditate
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>>18580244
>Anyone else for much experienced with anxiety?
Sorry I totally flubbed the whole coherent sentence thing there.
I have anger issues, and I've had them since childhood. I would say it began when my older brother incessantly teased to the point where I would get uncontrollably angry almost every day. Thankfully, I'm not violent at all, but I am self-destructive when I'm angry but my heart begins to palpitate, my breathing becomes rapid and shallow, and I lash out at others. I'm concerned I'm putting my health in jeopardy (24 years old). Understandably, some people within my social circle have become scared/uneasy around me.
I don't have the money to afford a therapist, but would like to take control of my issue. I'm willing to listen to any advice that can be given.
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Same, Ive had moments of thinking I should act violent but instead I just wait. Just keep yourself at bay, its not helpful advice but its what I always do. Honestly just distance yourself from people, but thats really autistic. I did that and I've rarely had instances where I feel like I'll sperg out and act violent BUT you will become and outcast so be careful not to distance yourself too much
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>>18580195
I've had anger issues as a kid. I didn't talk much so I developed a speech impediment so my mom couldn't understand me growing up somtimes. I would get so angry that I would bang my head against the stairs and leave bruises on my forehead. People even called out my rents for child abuse in public places (pretty fucked up)
I quickly got over my speech impediment when I was younger and don't have any issues with that sort of thing but I'll still get uncontrollable anger sometimes now in college.
Solutions:
>1. practice a mindset where you just really don't give much of a fuck about things in a sense where things don't bother you
>2. If i find my self in a situation where I'm extremely pissed like at my roommates, I'll just go lock myself in my room or leave and be by myself for a while to cool off.
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>>18581596
Also the harm self inflicted I described happened way young like when I was preschool. And anger isn't always a bad thing. I helps me in certain situations when I just become absolutely fearless and helps in cases like fights.