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Hey annons
Just out for some advice.
When I was 13 I met this amazing girl and we ended up getting together for just a short time. I was the one who broke it off because I found her sending love messages to another guy.
She tried to get in contact with me at a later point in life but I turned her down.
Ever since I turned her down we have have been speaking to each other through texts various times and met up a couple of times. Very rarely tho that we spoke through texts, but when we did, we did it hours on end.
A good while after I turned her down I realized that I want her. Ive always thought of her as the one for me.. Her body.. Her voice.. and all good stuff. she is amazing and Ive dreamt so many times of her.
I never even got to know her. I was with about 5 other girls in my teens and none of them make me feel like this. Ive felt like this for years.
After I turned her down she got a boyfriend that she was with for like 4 years. Now she has a new boyfriend.
Were both 22 at the moment and I want to try.
I know I should just try and get it over with, but im not sure how to do it. Like I have no problem telling her but you know theres a voice in my head saying I need to do it perfect so I dont miss whatever <chance> my head is making me think I have. I also think if I go now and fuck it up I will ruin chances in the future. <i realize this is stupid but i still feel it.
some reality for me would be appreciated. Do you think it\s a good idea to ask her to hang out. Have a great time with her and when I leave i ask for another meeting and make it clear I cannot be her friend. If she doesnt want to I honestly want her to turn me down badly so i just can forget about her.
Also I want to wait until she doesnt have a boyfriend, but i thought the same with her last boyfriend, just wait, and suddenly she had a new one.
thank you
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Hello /adv/
I'm not on the board often but I hope you'll help me with this:
I met a girl 10 days ago and it's the first time a girl is ok with going out with me. The thing is that she's responding to my texts almost 2 or 3 hours after I send them and doesn't seem to care about me that much (even if she just says she's too lazy to answer any text from anyone). Today I did not text her and she asked me if anything was wrong for the first time so I'm struggling to see if she really cares or not.
What should I do ? It's driving me crazy.
TL;DR A girl doesn't seem to care about me even if she says she does and I'm freaking out.
>INB4 sorry for the bad English it's not my first language.
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>>18601991
have you tried calling her instead of texting? why do you think she should drop everything and keep her phone in her hand at all times to respond to you?
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>>18601998
I've tried but she's busy most of the time and she always reading the texts but not responding (that's what's upsetting me)
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I know how you feel, I also overthink everything and tend to get anxious over how people feel about me. But you need to realize that acting clingy and needy is a red flag and a turn off for most people, especially if you don't know them well. If a good friend started texting me all the time and bugging me about not answering fast enough I'd just give them more attention and assure them that I care, but if someone I barely know did that, I'd probably be creeped out and take distance. You only just met her, give it time. You can stress all you want, but stop bothering her with it. You can be upset that she's not answering you instantly, but don't go whine at her about it. She still responds to your texts, 2-3 hours is nothing. Who cares if it takes a while. She has a life. Don't blow your chances by being way too clingy and seeming like you have no life besides her. Don't act like the kind of person who will eventually create drama about every little thing she does and gets jealous daily. If you've already talked about this and she said everything is fine then stop obsessing.
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Help me /adv/, why don't I have any interest in pursuing a relationship? Lots of guys asked me out over the years and I just have no interest to go out with them or become more than friends. It's not even that they're bad or something, most of them are really nice guys. The problem is 100% on my part and I can't figure out why I don't have any desire to date when everyone around me is in a relationship or married.
What the fuck's wrong with me? Am I just a sociopath that has no interest in human contact?
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I don't think you are. I am a guy and I have the same problem of your. I don't have a solution but I think I'm waiting for the right one, not saying the right one to marry. I'm saying the right one who give me that sparkle that take me to trust. Conventional dating is not an option. It is like going to the supermarket. It would be great to take the time to know somebody and develop naturally some feelings. For me it is so bad that I cannot have one night stand neither.
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what are the best ways to fix a sleep problem?
I am now regularly waking up at 2-3pm and going to sleep at 5-6am.
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Sleep deprivation works, you just power through till the next 10pm and them go to sleep. apart from that medicinal sleep aids can be used short term to try and reset it to normal patterns.
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>>18601954
if I can't stay up that long, will caffeine hinder my ability to sleep when I want to if I take it early in the day?
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>>18601962
If it's like 6 hours before hand then no. You could try going to bed earlier and earlier. Pushing it to 5 then 4 and so on.
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How to experiment with your friends
I'd say I'm straight but I would like to do some experimenting just to see what it's like. Me and one of my best friends always make gay innuendo jokes to each other saying shit like "if you don't shut up I'll suck your dick", I know he has a pretty big one I've seen it before. Anyway to make this shit a reality? Don't wanna experiment with a stranger.
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Get drunk together and be really touchy, start doing things like grabbing his dick jokingly. Keep pushing the jokes and flirting until the line between joking and not joking starts to blurr. Again getting drunk together really eases the tension of everything, and if they decide to chicken out just play it off as a joke. I've seduced 3 of my "straight" friends by doing this and I've been getting better at it
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>>18601888
Ecstasy
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i had a date from online. 1st went great then went to to hell on 2nd for dumb reasons.
im sad and i want to meet another girl
getting no bites on okcupid
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>>18601884
It's just a matter of having good social proof (decent enough clothes, marginal approval by those around you), and being in the right place at the right time (where the 'single' girls actually are). This can be hard to do at some stages of life, and I think that's a big reason people who aren't having the traditional college experience (and even some people who are) tend to hate their early 20's.
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>>18601897
Thanks. I just don't know where to go.
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>>18601999
If you are poly, or monogamous but a non-committal sort of person (not sure I'd recommend that latter), then try going places that are really active and "hip" so to speak. Try optimizing your way of dealing people, in the same way you should be optimizing your dating profile. Marketing yourself is not the same as being a mask-face narcissist. Marketing yourself is just necessary to get noticed - people have been doing it in liberal societies for all of history. It's nothing new. Making cool college friends is also very a good way to get laid. It was always a lot easier for me to get casual sex dealing with the high school and college population.
If you are looking for a wife or that sort of thing, you can probably get an average wife now, or a smart wife at the peak of your career. Make sure that, whichever you go for, they're as minimally crazy as possible. You'll probably improve your chances at getting a good wife by having your life in order. Better life, better wife? You don't need to be *as social* if you're just looking for one person to settle down with. I don't really know how to meet a wife, since I'm only 22. I think it becomes easier when dating women in their late 20's and early 30's. I dated a few people who liked the idea of a nuclear family, and they seemed possible to propose to.
Sorry for the ranting. I hope this autismal ranting was helpful to you in some way. There have been periods where I'm swarmed by women, and then dry spells that lasted years for me. My level of success seemed to have very little to do with how much money I had and what my appearance was. I think that's a pretty good indicator that it's about location and strategy. Get dressed up all nice, just to go to the cafe and then go home - what's the fucking point? Also, be wary of those who are perpetually single and not actively pursuing career goals, asking yourself, "Why are they so single? What is causing men to run away from them?"
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I want to live in the country homesteading with my wife, I need money for that, and I'm currently working on a bachelors in biology (I'm 25). What is the best way to make money in rural settings, without a degree?
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>>18601876
Oil industry, trucking, maybe farming/agro research with your background
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I'm pretty lonely boys, I start uni at the end of this month so it won't be a problem to make friends while in there but for now it's getting to a crushing point. I have hobbies,I go to the gym, all that good stuff but i dont even want to do any of them because of how lonely I feel. The gf just left after 2 years saying she was mentally unhealthy and too emotionally dependent on me which is fine with me, I'm sad but not devastated but she was my only real friend so now I'm by myself. Wat do to at least make the time pass quickly till school starts
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Also does having sex with other people really help you move on from previous relationships?
Anonymous
How to spot a sarcastic comment. 2017-08-08 07:24:00 Post No.18601858
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How to spot a sarcastic comment. 2017-08-08 07:24:00 Post No.18601858
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How to spot a sarcastic comment.
Anonymous
2017-08-08 07:24:00
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Please help me stop taking everything seriously.
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This is just a social intelligence thing. The answer is probably socializing more, and being more aware of your social difficulties. If you're anything like me, these social slip-ups are just from not being mindful of what you're thinking and saying. People actually think it's refreshing when you stop to think before saying things to them, so I expect you'll really benefit from following this advice.
Anonymous
I think im about to be a douchebag 2017-08-08 07:22:15 Post No.18601855
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I think im about to be a douchebag 2017-08-08 07:22:15 Post No.18601855
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I think im about to be a douchebag
Anonymous
2017-08-08 07:22:15
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Here's the thing. Back in middle/high school i had this debilitating crush on my friend. So i dated a friend of hers. Then we graduated and went separate ways, loosely kept in touch. Then she got married. But he's dead now. I'm now with someone (for a good while). Anyways the crush never died and for the last many years she would creep in and out of my thoughts, every time it happens i kick myself for being stupid.
My question to you: should i throw my current life away and go for it?
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>>18601855
Are you happy with your current partner?
Has your crush ever shown any reciprocal feelings to you?
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Yes, well even if not happy, i am very comfortable with her. And yes i found out the crush has been mutual. I know its not all that simple. But would like sime thoughts.
We all have our own purpose of life, whether we know what it is or not.
My purpose of life, is to find «the one» who i can share my life with. To spend all the time i can with. Waking up next to every day, sharing meals with, travelling and adventure together with. And eventually giving the gift of life, to a newborn, so they can also experience the same.
My problem is that i am certain i have found «the one».
But this person is not into me the same way, because she only see me as a good friend. So how am i supposed to stay motivated to make a living? Most people would say that «there is plenty of fish in the sea». And that i will eventually find someone.
But i have a limited time of my life. And i want to spend as long time as i can with this person. The longer i have to wait, the less time i get to share with her.
I am in a really dark place right now, because my purpose of life has been denied. What am i supposed to do? I don't feel like doing anything, bacause anything i do, i have to do it alone.
How am i supposed to complete any education, without this motivation? Some days i feel serious about running away into the nature, and start living like a caveman. Because i like the nature, and it seems like the only logical thing left for me to do.
Although i don't dare to, because my family would report me missing, and searching teams would find me, and bring me back to society. This also denies my freedom. Because i am forced to live after this recipe, to make an education, and find a job. If not, you will be looked at like a psychopath. Just because i have other values.
I have told «the one» how i feel about her. Because the only thing i can do, is to open the door, and hope she will one day walk through it. But i am in that dark room alone. And she have not walked through the door yet. She have already walked through someone elses door. And i am left alone, in my own dark room.
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You need help, like by a therapist. That kind of attitude is the doorway to a lifetime of codependency and depression. Leaning on someone to be your reason to live is harmful to you and borderline abusive to them.
Finding a special someone can't be the sole purpose of your life. You need to make a great life for yourself and then want to share that with your special someone. Relationships are about sharing happiness, not desperately trying to extract it from another person.
And if a girl isn't into you, she's not into you. Move on.
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Also, there is no such thing as "the one." That doesn't happen. People are capable of falling in love with any number of people. Love isn't discovered; it is grown, it is nurtured, it is created collaboratively. It happens over a period of time, after you spend enough time with a person you can develop a loving relationship.
The idea that there is one single person out there who you can partner up with is bullshit.
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For the sake of being anon I'll be a little vague in my description. I'm American but was born in Africa and raised by my American expat parents who can't go back to the states because of legal issues. I'm in my senior year of HS, and want to go to college / uni in the U.S, which state should I go to?
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Anonymous
How do I stop being a complete failure at each and everything I do? 2017-08-08 06:54:57 Post No.18601762
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How do I stop being a complete failure at each and everything I do? 2017-08-08 06:54:57 Post No.18601762
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How do I stop being a complete failure at each and everything I do?
Anonymous
2017-08-08 06:54:57
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> Be me
> average student throughout my whole life, always got Cs and never was much into sports
> finally decide to turn my life around and become a better human as wellget good grades to make my parents happy
> Parents are poor so difficult for them to keep paying for my education
> Start to work my ass off, progress is slow but things gradually get better
> Start getting great grades and teachers start noticing, praise me in front of my parents
> Finally feel confident in myself and on exam day do pretty gud, tally the answers, most are correct easily in the A range
> Result day, turns out I got mediocre grades , my friends got way better, feel sad but cheer up thinking ego got in the way
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> Anyways vow to do better and get admission into a better school
> Parents and teachers confident in my ability to do well in A-levels
> Work even more harder and try different methods for studying and become aware of the mistakes I did the past
> Last chance so better make it count, exam season approaches, do quite well and even get better marks the my contemporaries
> Give exams and feel great, find out answers match with others
> Results come in, I failed again
This is honestly becoming laughable, I'm just tired of working hard and not recieving even an ounce of happiness, my peers often work less harder than I do and get astounding grades and this makes me feel even shittier. Parents are too disappointed in me and shocked even more. Teachers are also pretty shocked and I don't know what to do anymore
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I'm 31
Been taking care of my grandma since I was 18 and now she died. While I have a couple friends, we were basically all we had and I was okay with it but now I'm alone.
What do?
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>>18601743
Be proud mofo... You loved her and took care of her, now grieve and be happy and proud of the time you and your granma spent together. You'll be okay
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>>18601743
Get a job and befriend co-workers or go to college. You should be proud of yourself for taking care of her, but she's gone now OP, go back and reclaim your life buddy.
Do whatever the fuck you want to do, go backpack Europe, college, work, whatever is going to make you, happy.
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>>18601743
>>18601743
What about the inheritance? It's not the same being all alone with nuthin than all alone with over half a million bucks. I know, feels and all that, but it's not the same.
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Does anyone here know of stationary jobs I can do with limited experience in customer service? I have an injury, and I don't want to exacerbate it. I'm going to check a temp agency, but I don't know if they would like that I have to take three days a week off for school.
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>>18602149
Telemarketing