Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 514. page

Gauge* not gage

those are probably just obligated compliments just to be polite. dont take those to heart, but just be cool that they're being polite.

>>18633103
Possibly because......
Those girls complimenting you are just being nice people, hopefully at least wanting to be acquaintances with you for whatever reason. Nearly every girl in my city is like that
And
The guys in your area are too beta to compliment you in fear of the fact that they think they'll come off as creeps

Stay away from them

>>18633657
fpbp

Don't listen to women about what women wants. They don't know. I say this as someone who absolutely loves women.

You don't have to share all the same interests with a significant other.

"Vain and bland" absolutely is a judgement. It's a very negative judgement.

You seem pretty negative in general ,my guy. Focus on things you like, try to be more positive. Instead of finding reasons why girls on dating sites are uninteresting, find reasons why they are interesting. Instead of focusing on what you don't have in common, focus on what you do.

It kind of sounds like you don't even like yourself so much. Stop calling yourself a pathetic loser and start thinking of yourself more positively, I promise it will help you to change your world view and be happier.

>>18632737
Yeah i knew i was being rude i didn't want to sound "superior" or anything but those words seemed to fit perfectly.

I literally can't find anything positive about them. Their interests are literally corny stuff like "dancing" and "good movies". Like, who the hell doesn't like Good movies? Are there girls into Bad movies? I don't think so.

Well i used to be more positive but you know after 20 years of complete loneliness, you start to ask yourself where the problem is since you can't just blame it on the whole world.

Actually talk to the girls you see as vain and bland, who knows maybe they might be interesting. Everyone likes to get drunk.

>>18632477
>Should I add this barista on Facebook?
Sure, that's not creepy at all.

>>18632477
UNLESS she gave you her name, it might come across as creepy that you secludedly stared at her name tag long enough to remember it

>>18632485
I'm sure someone would do some research on social media if they got my name as well. We know that people stalk people.
>>18632487
Well I've been there forever is it weird that I remember the name?

File: images (2).jpg (6KB, 262x192px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 262x192px

>>18632474
Turn to Allah

There has to be a limit to how long you allow yourself to brood on something. The purpose of thoughts is to come to something actionable. If you think about something too long all you are doing is thinking of ways your plan will fail. And there will always be plenty of those because the unknown is vast. Tell yourself "okay this is as good an action as any i can do I will do this and not think about it further"

Then hoist your balls over your shoulder and do it

>>18632474

Keys to witnessing reality:

1. Don't be afraid to have thoughts and opinions that are uncomfortable or even painful, especially to yourself.
2. Eliminate all expectations in life.
3. Stop thinking about what things should be, and instead focus on what they are.

Random entrepreneur advice I have heard:

1. To your advantage, choose what you think about optimistically, and what you think about pessimistically.
2. Those who are not wealthy should stay away from payment plans.
3. Your thoughts should always be on saving money, even if you aren't saving any at the moment.

I haven't but it only gives you a couple of inches and is excruciatingly painful.

>>18632211
Being a man has nothing to do with your height. Unlike women, who are primarily valued on their looks, men have lots of other things that they can do that makes them attractive to women. Income, stability, gym, etc. Focus on things you can change instead of things that you can't. Or in this case, things that will fuck your body up irreparably

>>18632213
You're a big guy.

Personally, no.

Yes black girls are hot as hell idgaf

>>18631787
>>18631792
I just wanted to confirm that Black females are fetish, like "BBW".

>>18631696

You can't force anyone on you ...
Just be happy that you get a puss puss

You are for your self and no one will be there for you ... sorry to say that but it's life

Unless you get a true love

File: tuck.jpg (42KB, 495x636px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 495x636px

>>18631696
24 year old virgin here.

I've accepted that I'm basically thanks to my shitty personality, shitty poorfag lifestyle, and other general quirks. Whoever said being yourself was the key to finding love has clearly never met me, because I'm basically incompatible with and unattractive to anyone I meet. Not a MGTOW fag or anything, but I've basically just given up on finding someone and resigned myself to a life of loneliness because I've proven time and time again that I'm incapable of changing. And to be honest, I like myself so I'm not even sure I'd want to. Any relationship formed that way would be founded on bullshit, and tear me up inside. My standards arn't even really that high, as a matter of fact they're lower than they've ever been after I made the confidence crushing mistake of trying online dating. At the end of the day I'd settle for any girl that "gets" me.

I don't even care about the sex part so much, if it was just a matter of losing my virginity I'd get a prostitute. In the borderline ghetto I live in it wouldn't be too hard.

I just don't want to be alone anymore, and meet a girl who understands and appreciates me. But like I said, that's probably never going to happen because there isn't a whole lot for the average person to like/appreciate about me. So instead, I embrace the abyss unless on the off chance I meet someone special. I'm done going out of my way trying though. All it's done has made me more depressed and miserable.

Sorry for venting.

>>18631696
Nah I haven't given up. I'm trying to be content and happy with myself, then I won't need others to be happy. Sure, breakups and such will still suck, but hopefully I won't be too worked up about it

>>18631601

Yeah, time to break up. Even if there was nothing romantic/sexual going on between them (though, there sorta is, they're going on goddamn dates), her disregard for your concern on the matter is not okay. A good relationship is ultimately a partnership in which the terms must be something you both agree to. Since she's completely ignoring your side of things, it indicates a lack of respect for you and for your relationship. That will fuck your relationship up in the long run, even if this situation gets resolved.

>>18631601
Sounds like she's doesn't respect you in the relationship, get your heart out of this op

>>18631615
>>18631616
Sadly, this is what I am afraid is the right choice. I know her well enough to think she doesn't realize how stupid her behavior is, but I have pointed it out in length, trying to make her see.

The sad thing is that she probably feels like she's in the right to do whatever she wants as she isn't doing anything intimate with him and her boyfriend "forbidding" her to go somewhere with a friend is controlling and oppressive. I feel like I am not being controlling, and generally I try to not intervene with her activities with male friends. This is different, considering he has explicitely stated his interest and she has been at least secretive if not directly dishonest about their relationship to me (in particular him telling her he is in love with her).

For reference, and that's the saddest part: She's 22, I'm 27, he's fucking 35 or something. From what I know I could kill him in a heartbeat, I am better looking and in better shape, but she doesn't care much about appearances. It might just be his status and maturity in terms of how he lives compared to me, although he isn't particularly wealthy.

I really love her... it hurts so much...

Stop watching porn, go outside.

>>18631433
You arent gay. You are just a pervert. Have you every thought about sucking dick when you werent horny?

STOP WATCHING PORN
NO FAP A COUPLE OF WEEKS
DONT TOUCH YOUR ASS ANYMORE

>graduate school
>women
Lol, that's even rare in some soft science departments.

>>18631337
So where should I look then? I don't want a dumb wife because my kids would follow suit. I care more about a family than a woman.

File: 38b.jpg (154KB, 1400x1000px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 1400x1000px

>>18631338
>So where should I look then?
2D

>>18631123
No. Parents are the worst. They never stop treating you like a kid. Move out if you can. Suffer if you can't.

>>18631136
So I can't just tell her to mind her own fucking business? Let me guess, because I am her business. Why do parents have such a hard time not being annoying as fuck?

I hate this notion that because I am related to someone we have to be friends. I am forced to come to family reunions and talk to boring people who have nothing in common with me.

>>18631172
I don't know. I'm stuck living with my parents and they drive me crazy. They drag me on their vacations and make me miss work. I'm seriously considering living in my car so I don't have to put up with them.

File: 1461282868838.jpg (397KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

397KB, 1920x1080px

>>18630889
Make peace with her, OP. From the information you provide it's clear she was far from perfect. I think the fact that you're even having this inner turmoil speaks a lot to your character. A lot of people would have shut their mother out and wouldn't have cared how she spent her last days. I think you know it's the right thing to do. The last thing you want is for this to haunt you for the rest of your life if you choose to not see her. I wish you the best.

>>18630889
Know how you feel OP. If you can make peace before she dies do. Soon she won't be able to hurt you anymore, though if she didn't die she would. Dying a slow painful death gotta be hell.

File: IMG_20170507_042243.jpg (121KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 1280x960px

>>18630916
I'm thinking I'm going to go see her, yeah.
At the very least, I owe it to who she used to be and it would no doubt haunt me.

I tried to shut her out and not care, because that would've been easier on me, but I just can't.
Before she goes, I want to tell her that I forgive her and I love her.

And oddly enough I really mean it. I've carried the burden of what was done to me my entire life since then, and I've been bitter about it but I just can't bring myself to be angry anymore

>>18630923
>if she didn't die she would.
My mom has always been incredibly childish so that's true

It's so sad how some people have to be on deaths door to get a wake up call, often too late

>>18630852
Stop jerking off completely and take cold showers. Not jerking off should be self explanatory and cold showers boost testosterone production in males.

File: bed animal.jpg (315KB, 650x854px) Image search: [Google]

315KB, 650x854px

>>18630852
Death grip syndrome combined with excessive porn consumption and anxiety.

>death grip
Fap once per week by GENTLY slow up and down movements while laying on bed with eyes closed. If it isnt enough for you to cum, you lose your right for orgasm until the next fap session.

>porn
The more you watch, you the bigger kinks you need to get off. Sooner or later average girl wont be enough stimulantion for your brain to even get boner.
https://yourbrainonporn.com/

>anxiety
Practice makes perfect. Sex is like playing with your toys for adults. Only this time she is your toy. If it is fun for both of parties, nobody cares about performance. Experiment and dont be afraid to fail. Also you dont need boner to make her cum. What is foreplay, cuddling and tongue?

Bonus advice: never go to /b/ ever again. Your brain will thank you later.

>>18630864
Cold showers? I haven't heard about that one, nice. I shower at night, does it still work or should I shower in the morning?

>>18630571

>Especially in my case, where all my moods and thoughts just pop up out of pure random. Never with any warning sides. Never with any consistent or logical pattern. Just out of the blue when they want to.

It doesn't seem like moving on is a choice.

Sounds like you don't have a choice because you're not really in control of your own mind if stuff just does what it wants whenever it wants.

Or maybe I should say you don't try to exert control over your own mind, and then you run into all these issues. There are no guaranteed, 100%, will work on anyone tactics to do anything. Most people advise other to move on because we only have one side we are provided, and we can only tell the poster what to do - we can't fix their boyfriend/girlfriend for them, and we try to determine if they've made any attempts or progress towards trying to communicate, dealing with the problems and who the problem is actually caused by.

So moving on is simplest because it's easy to tell a person to extract themselves from something dangerous. It's also an easy way to get the poster to look at the pros and cons of moving on. Immediately posing the question gets the OP to think about what life would be like leaving him/her, and if it would actually be worth it.

File: 1475647221703.jpg (447KB, 1317x2000px) Image search: [Google]

447KB, 1317x2000px

>>18630571
I agree that just saying "move on" isn't always the most helpful due to how vague it is; however, I truly believe that is the best piece of advice. What else is there really to say? In the end, what helps people get over the loss of someone is generally the passage of time. This time frame varies considerably depending on the individual but many times it is a conscious effort. With time the mentality of opening a new chapter happens naturally for many and for some the process can be expedited through experiences or stimulus.

Distractions never work because they don't address the core issue. Reflecting on yourself does work if you take it a step further and develop a plan that will help you execute your goal. Thinking about how you're going to make money means nothing if you don't take action.

Ultimately we are always in control of ourselves. You may not want random thought to remind you of her but you are in control of how you respond to those thoughts. I know it's hard to dismiss the thoughts but it is entirely possible.

>>18630571
Lets see, not one or two times but you always and from everyone hear the same advise, move on, but everyone is wrong.

People don't get into the detail because its exhausting to get pulled into a particular situation, however, no matter the situation the only recourse is to eventually is to move on, you know, let shit go and not let it control you.
You reject letting it go because you don't want to let it go and if 50 of us were to delve into your particular situation you will defend staying right where you are even if we point out its irrationality. Is there pain in moving on, is there a sense of loss, does it pop into your mind occasionally, all yes and you carry a scar, but you get better, it doesn't control your life and you live with it.

Or to be more blunt stop crying over something you cannot do a goddamn thing about and move on.