Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 448. page

This girl and I have liked each other since we were young (like 11 years old). We've never lived near each other and I only see her because our parents are friends and meet once or twice a year. I recently confessed how I feel to her and she said she's felt from a young age that we'd get married one day and she still feels that way. I view her as the only girl that's right for me, and it's led me to reject many other girls that most of my friends would've said yes to. She views me of more of a guy she thinks about sometimes and has a cute crush on when we see each other but hopes to one day marry me. We decided that since we've both always liked each other despite being sometimes thousands of miles apart, we should get married when we're finished with college. Her college will be 8 hours away from mine. She's had multiple boyfriends already throughout all of high school. Should i really invest myself into her for the sake of a future which may not happen? Even though we both have liked each other for a long time, i feel like I love her way more than she loves me. Will she break her promise to me? I sure won't, because I find it hard to like anyone else

Sorry for the long question

>>18637810
Talk to her about it. You do not mention how much more time will pass before you can be together. I would think very carefully about putting your life on hold for her. Not just because it might not be worth it but because it might actively endanger what you are trying to start, as there will be a lot of pressure on the relationship to "make up" for all of your sacrifices. Similarly, it could very easily create resentment that she's dated and you haven't.

I would either look into being together more quickly or talk to her about it and see if she understands the idea of finding each other after college without other promises for the time being.

Last time I wore latex gloves, parts of the skin on my hands became inflamed. Does that mean latex will do the same thing to my dick?

>>18637727
https://www.healthcare.gov/2016-exemptions/

>>18637712
Stop storing goldfish in bottles, theyll get claustrophobia

>>18637712
that's as stupid as saying you have an addiction to riding your bike or driving your car.

>>18637912
Well I personally find it toxic.

>>18637708
Flirt and then leave so she'll stay thinking about you and return when her shift is ending and pickup the conversation, just remember to keep your chest straight so your voice can sound deep and be confident, if she turns you down it's no big deal

>>18637708
Order the tacos and when she hands you the bag out the pickup window say "you must have misheard me, it's your taco I want" and then make kissy lips at her.

>>18637739
>did you happen to surgically remove your vaginal cavity? Because that is what I meant when I ordered a taco

I attend college with this girl.

>>18637683
>They say cheaters will cheat
You both match each other then u fucking cuck

Masturbate and whoever you still have feelings for, choose

>>18637700

Is it a dumb idea to secretly date both?

Don't go for the easy option
Go for the one you like

>>18637674
Learn C, Its a fucking mess of a language which will make tackling other languages in the future a breeze

>>18637657
Wear clothes that fit properly, get a nice haircut, say fuck it and accept who you are, keep good posture and watch videos on body language

>>18637657
Accomplishments.

If you sit on a computer all day and work you cant possibly be confident because you dont do anything that merits it.

Notice confident people also do a lot of shit. Whether theyre social masters (kind of a born and raised thing as you mentioned. Some people click well with it in their development) or theyre black belts, or athletes, or hobbyists and create art or practical things, or they volunteer for charities and give their time to the less fortunate, whatever, they have a tangible thing to which to tie their value and their self worth.

As a bonus like minded people flock to the same shit so they will have a full social circle that is similar to them to affirm them in the process.

>social confidence

If youre a nerd youre a nerd. If you try to hang with the bar and club folk you will feel awkward. End of story. Same way if any of them came to a larp meet theyd feel awkward and out of place, would have no idea how to talk to anyone, and probably make asstards of themselves and ultimately find themselves rejected from the group. Think very very hard about that.

Because honestly as i get older im noticing the most "socially retarded" people arent sociall retarded at all. They just hunger for acceptance from a group they do not and never will belong to. And thats perfectly ok. You cant please everyone.

>>18637673
Not the OP here.

I agree with almost everything you wrote except the last bit. Most "socially retarded" people are not so tone deaf that they think they can fit into the dudebro and bar/club culture - I'm sure most of them are just looking for a social circle that have the same or similar interests to them, whether that be video games, anime, or whatever and for some reason (probably awkwardness) they have trouble even finding that.

A patchy beard is better than no beard.

How old are you? 20? 21? If you're older than this then you should look into taking supplements. If not then just wait a bit longer.

Also no employer or lecturer gives a fuck if you have facial hair. If they say something, you can just accuse them of prejudice or bigotry, and therefore benefit from PC culture for a change.

>>18637690
I'm 21, having to wait years before I can try to grow a beard is bad

Not sure what sort of magical instant solution I'm waiting for though, maybe I'm just doomed to look like I'm a teenager until much later on.

>>18637656
Being able to grow a full beard puts you in the minority.

Most people have some patchy spots. If you just trim it to stubble every day/other day that's fine.

Without a real pic to judge this is all guessing though. If you are azn status then it might be hopeless anon.

regular depression my man

File: Heh.jpg (15KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 400x300px

It's called depression and most people go through that at some point and almost always get over it

Don't get me wrong, I'm not underestimating depression, it's one of the worst things you can feel, but the killing potential is very low, you will probably get over it

You might be failing now, but imagine if someone else - say, a friend - was failing too, what would you tell them? "Wew lad you shouldn't even exist what a miserable failure"? No, you'd probably tell them "everyone commits some mistakes every now and then, but it's still not too late, you can still do it". So tell that to yourself. Improve yourself and pay off their efforts if you want that so badly. Accept your flaws instead of blaming yourself for them.

>>18637666

Don't get me wrong, "just do it" is a great short. But if I was capable of it, don't you think I'd have done so already?

I'm 29 and haven't finished my studies, working a senseless unrelated sidejob that does not earn enough money to support myself. I'm living off other people and I doubt that after I finish my studies, I'll find something I can do enough to actually re-earn what was spent on me.

Don't you think at some point you should cut costs for your family and people arround you and admit that "you win some, you lose some" also applies to people?

>>18637637
Pneuro Program Yourself to rest if sleeping it's out of the table for now. This can be done with sleep calculators and shit. How you'll do this: every night i want your last thought would be a direct order for what you want to change. Keep doing this perhaps for a couple sleep cycles and then plan ahead a day you can keep yourself awake for far longer than 16hrs and your circadian cycle should fix itself and reset out of exhaustion. Buy a fan, cold pretty much help you sleep naturally and the sound of wind will keep your ill thoughts numb

>>18637637

No computer screen usage. The blue light fools your brain into thinking "it's daytime". There are programs that gradually turn your screen orange but I find it annoying.

You need physical exercise. Get tired muscles, not a tired mind.

Yoga helps too. Better than drugs.

Watch your caffeine intake. You probably "need" a coffee to wake up, a energy drink in the afternoon and another coffee to study, etc.

Watch your sugar intake too.

At bedtime, try gradual relaxation: relax your feet, then your legs. "Loosen" your body muscles from your toes to your head. Relax your facial muscles; your jaw, your brow, your cheeks.

>>18637740
Good advice

>my load is too small
Pahahahaha deal with being a beta virgin weeaboo. Accept that your life is just a failure.

>>18637634
It is quite true i tested it but then i realize the volume of my cum has always been thick and if i stayed on NoFap (which i think it's ridiculous but i was just too busy to masturbate) it grew thicker. Harvest your loads buddy stop masturbating so much

>>18637680
>>18637718
How's about you answer the man's question or stfu. Do. They. Fucking. Work.?

>>18637620
My girlfriend had the operation done.

Any specific questions?

I can tell you right now that I recommend doing ANYTHING else to lose weight. I love her to death but there's so many changes she had to make that I don't feel it's worth it.

>>18637626
Please tell me what changed to drastically?

I did my surgery on August 3rd, I lost 12 pounds and everything stopped. I feel frustrated and weighting myself everyday. It feels like all for nothing.

>>18637636
Essentially she has to eat tiny bites over time. There is no enjoying a meal in one sitting. It's eaten over the course of half a day. I'll finish a meal in a normal 10-20 minutes and she will have to graze something the same size over 3-4 hours. If she eats too quickly she gets nauseous and vomits.

Not to mention she can't touch anything carbonated or has to be very careful with it. Sodas with meals end up upsetting her stomach to the point where she vomits even after only eating lightly. Champagne has to be drunk by itself - no food and again slowly.

Basically she is limited severely on how many calories she can take in a day because it takes so long to eat it...which is the point of a gastric sleeve. She could get fat if she wanted by eating garbage or literally eating all day but her eating is kept in check by the fact that she's full after a few bites. She ends up only eating the proper calorie amount per day because doing any more than that is real effort.

> did my surgery on August 3rd, I lost 12 pounds and everything stopped.

I'm assuming you're female. I don't know your height/weight but as a girl losing 12 lbs is like a guy dropping 20-25 which is significant in my book. I will admit by her account the effects with nausea/vomiting were a bit more severe than is normal.

I'm not sure if you have experienced any of the side effects but she lost a ton of weight because sustaining it was literally impossible as she would throw up.

>>18637617
>>/diy/

>>18637602
>I just wanted to have a girl with me

Stop wanting


>. but I have not had any opportunity until today.
You either wait for things to happen or you make them happen. What have you been doing?

> And the funny thing is that every time I think about it sadder and more incapable of trying I seem to be.

Yes, wanting to have a girlfriend is getting in the way of you getting a girlfriend. It's an old Zen thing... those that we try to grasp with our hands either break or slip out of our fingers.

>>18637602
>I realized that I do not open myself much to the people I like, is this the problem? For it is man's duty to go after the woman

Nobody is going to go looking for you. Nobody knows that you're a virgin or single. Grow some balls and talk to someone.

>>18637602
There are people like you, but both them and you don't know that.
Because you don't know them, and they don't know you.

I'm in the same boat. Not in a position to give advice.
Myself have no idea how to get to know new people. Seems an impossible endeavor.

Lurking anyway just in case.