Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 446. page

>>18638083
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation

Up until my fourth year of university (last semester, actually), I never made a single friend in university. I've had social anxiety all my life. Didn't really have any friends from before uni, either.

I still have SA, but last semester, I made an effort to push out of my comfort zone and make friends. I've always kind of wondered just how the hell people make friends. How does one go from small talk to spending time together regularly?

You know what I've learnt? Making friends in university works the exact same way as making friends in grade 2. You pretty much just go up to somebody and ask, "you wanna be my friend?" and most people are pretty down for that. Go up to somebody in your class. Make pointless, uninteresting small talk about pretty much anything. Course content, assignments, movies, food, etc. Maybe you'll get into common interests of experiences (doesn't have to be anything profound, you could talk about how being a poor student sucks). Ask for their number and tell them you'd like to hang out sometime.

A lot of people in uni are in your boat of having few friends, and will be relieved that you did most of the work for them. Others have friends they can introduce you to.

It's not an overnight cure for shyness. You'll still feel anxious and struggle to make conversation at times. But it'll get more comfortable with time, and you will actually have the option of hanging out with somebody on a Friday night instead of posting on 4chan. It's a really good feeling.

>>18638166
now I'm just jealous
4th year is really different than 1st year though

Bump pls

clean the apartment and take photos of the space. Make sure you do this during the day, and open up all the blinds and such so light spills in. use lower angles and play with your camera settings to get the best looking photos. lower angles make it all look big, but if the space is REALLY small try standing on top of something in the corner adn pointing the camera more downward. same effect, can make it look bigger.

then you just get on CL post the pictures, post how much it costs a month, and start to list whats good about it.

in my case it was shit like
>home in the heart of hollywood
>close to numerous restaurants (list em here)
>near the 2 line, the 4 line, and the metro red line
>one free parking space
>ample street parking (a lie)

then you list a little info about hwo he will be living iwth and what they expect out of a roommate. dont be angry or judgemental in everything

>they're just a couple of young artists looking for a new roomie who doesn't party too late in the house

then you post a wrap up wtih the final move in costs. then you post it.

>>18638209
Thanks, man. I don't know how to sell this because my current roommate is a shitty messy asshole. No doubt he'll want the bigger room that I currently have.

>>18638011
>yet I really hsould be resting
Why should you be resting?

>>18638016
Bone injury, I quit my part time job for anxiety and stress, afterwards got a bad injury, I said I'd get a college or trade training as soon as I'm healed... But days go by and I cant walk long, gotta stay in bed to heal.

If I strt studying something, it'd be limited to computer stuff.

>>18638027
Maybe learn to code?

>>18638003
Seems like you suffer from inferiority complex.
Might wanna get that checked.

It's your friend. Accept their flaws or tell them to fuck off. They are who they are

>>18638006

What is that?

>>18638002
Does it have to be your own apartment? You can usually save half the price by finding a roommate on craigslist or dedicated roommate websites.

>>18638002
I look on places like zillow, rent.com, and craigslist (however craigslist gets iffy, I really research the place before calling and make sure I get the name of the apartment complex).

After searching through rental sites, I pick my favorites and look up their reviews. Weigh out what people complain about and what they like about the place. Anything rated 3/5 or under, I stay away from. Especially places with lots of car break-ins or constant reviews of poor management.

A month's rent is the typical down payment unless you have good credit.

Always go in and scope the apartment out. I rely more on the people's word than the person trying to sell me the place.

>>18638009
Be on the look out for things like this, while they're not all bad. My sister was scammed into renting a room out of a condo, came home one day with a note for forclosure on the door and the place completely emptied out, the owner literally just took off. It really sucked.

>>18637963
Quietest least pain inducing way to go? OD on an opioid. Fetanyl is all the craze now.

Most reliable way to go? A gunshot up from the mouth to the brain.

OP but I recommend doing a bunch of crazy shit before figuratively pulling the trigger. I was suicidal at one point but no longer giving a fuck and going out to spend what I thought were my last dollars gave me renewed interest for now.

>>18637963
Die of old age after you struggle through life.
Fly to africa or a jungle then start walking and see how long you can survive on your own.

>>18637981
Don't have a gun and it's pretty difficult to get one, not going to use fetanyl. One because I can't get it and two because I don't want to fuck up and become an addict instead. I know people will assume I don't actually want to die because I'm being picky on the method that I use but I do.
>>18637987
I don't want to go into explaining why I want to die, but I just don't see myself living that long, I'm more scared of living till I'm 60 than I am of dying.

Lol talk to me and ask me a question and let's see if I make that face. Because to be honest I think people are fucking with you and making that shit eating face when you try to say something.

But it's totally possible that you perceive things that aren't there if you have enough brain damage. Have you seen any Jigglypuffs walking around? They're about two feet off the floor. If you're hallucinating you probably have some high class brain damage. But then again if you had it that bad I don't see how you could use a computer so I would just wager people are fucking with you.

>>18637956
Kind of for you to figure out and i dont think a bunch of 16 year olds on adv can help.

On the one hand ill say as a black man you should understand how silly it is to say "she likes escalades therefore she acts this way." Youre black, what are you doing studying medicine? Same line of thinking bruv.

Shes definitely into an archetype of behaviour and interests and black men is probably included in that, but that doesnt mean she doesnt love you and you cant have a great relationship together.

If i were you id tell her to stop treating you like a trophy though. When i started dating my wife i had long hair and a beard (all well kept) and she had a group of friends that were all about that type of dude and she did the same shit to me.

I hated it. Anyways, shaved clean and chopped it all off and shes still here and were married so once again, just because shes acting in some way and into some set of things, doesnt mean she doesnt care.

>>18637956
The trophy thing is the biggest red flag of them all. I would definitely try to find a way out of the relationship and take it ASAP.

>>18637956
Doesn't seem like white trash, I think this is much more ignorant basic bitch tier.

If you see red flags, don't hesitate to get out. Can't count how many times I have ignored red flags and got hurt.

>>18637949
Tell him to stick it out. I was a holdover due to the amount of how overcrowded it was at both basic and AIT.. and my AIT was 28 weeks long. He can deal with it as many others have before him. Sounds like he's just trying to pussy out, most people don't have sympathy for that type, especially the guys in charge. I would suggest you remind him that it's not forever and that it gets a lot better once he goes to his regular unit. He's not thinking clearly as he is not supposed to while in this type of environment. Stick it out. And if they suspect or anyone else does that he will do something stupid he will just make it worse for himself, as in, they will send him to psychiatric facility in the local training area that is completely secured and he will be held there for a very long time. Just complete the training, in almost all cases it's going to be easier to just complete the training and get out than to try and find another way to skip out. They did that on purpose as he is wasting a lot of tax payer money trying to get out early.

>>18637949
Man fuck you for trying to pull him away from this. He'll be fine in the army and your constant nagging is not helping him.

>>18637949
There is no bailing out of the military after you sign the paperwork. If they start to believe he is trying to bullshit his way out that's going to make things worse.

I suggest you do what it seems you've been doing and be as supportive as you can be and encourage him to tough it out. If you freak out and cry it's not going to help him as he's likely to feel partly responsible for that.

>>18637940
bumppp

Go to /fit/. Read the sticky.

>>18637937
>how much lower
Not a single calorie lower. If you want to speed up your fat loss, do sport, cardio. Swimming?

You dont want your body to enter starvation survival mode where it preserves fat at all cost and eat muscles instead.

And >>18638033 this.

>>18637937
Depends on your body fat percentage.

You can safely lose ~2.5lbs/week if over 30% bodyfat. ~2lbs if between 20%-30%. 1.25-1.5lbs if 15%-20%. 1-1.25lbs if 12%-15% etc.

Keep the protein range in 1.1-1.4g/lbs of lean body mass, which is your total mass - the body fat mass.

This advice is correct, but make sure to double check the numbers.

Shameless self bump

>>18637931

>I'm unsure of how much long term potential the relationship has

Good. Even if you found Mr. Perfect, he could die from a freak heart attack the next day.

Women constantly fantasies about other men while in a relationship. I'm not even /r9k/...

File: 1287028343613.jpg (14KB, 110x170px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 110x170px

emotional-territorial circuit
>If the audience knew what they needed, they'd be the artist, not the audience.
>You can't please everyone.
>I'm under no obligation to make sense to you.
>The lower self is where all the real decisions are made.
>Only weasels try to hide their dirty laundry.
>I don't treat people badly. I treat them accordingly.
>Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
>Better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
>Be blunt and assume the results are the best possible under the circumstances.
>I deserve answers that satisfy me.
>I can't believe in things that don't believe in me.
>If you love me, you'll accept who and what I am.
>Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
>More money, more problems.
>No authority is perfect.
>Beware people who rationalize why they don't have to show respect.
>Bravery is mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
>If you don't terrify people a little bit, what's the point?
>Only a fool considers wealth a matter of currency.
>Collect assets, strangle liabilities.
>You'll know a man's weakness from observing the means he uses to attack you.
>Emotions are to be processed, not repressed.
>Whoever holds their frame the longest and the strongest wins.
>If the service is free, you're the product.
>Fear is no excuse for foolishness.
>Playing it safe is riskier than giving up what you love.
>Make decisions first, then make them right.
>The bottom dog is the most vicious.
>You can't buy your way to individuality.
>What do you do for its own sake?
>If you're just "following orders", you're liable to do something stupid. Break social norms if necessary.
>The mind likes to create win states from whatever materials happen to be available.
>I don't have a welcome mat at my door because I am not a liar.
>You are more confident when you don't know the odds.
>A bad vibe tells you what your values really are.

Most of your tidbits seem reasonable, anon. Whatever works for you, I guess.

>>18637881

Mine are better.
Fight me faggot.

Bad habits are easy to form and hard to live with. Good habits are hard to form and easy to live with.
Either you have plans for your life or others do. And what do they have for you? Not much.
Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.
The greatest value in life is not what you get, the greatest value in life is who you become.

>>18637874
Yeast infection?

>>18637874
Vaginosis

>>18637878
Yeast infections don't smell...