Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 438. page

>>18639501
You would be fucked if college isnt craming everybody in the same place at the same time with tons of common things you have to do alone or seek help from others. Its not like meeting new person everyday you go to lectures amirite? Jeez

>>18639506
Fair enough, I am just kinda throwing myself a pity party. Im not the most approachable person in the world but I could try harder. Thanks

>>18639501
Three real friends - what someone called "wake then at 3 AM to come bail you out friends" - is actually a very good accomplishment.

How id you get these? First they were acquaintances, someone you met casually because you were in the same class or on the same line or something. You hit it off and became casual friends. You undoubtedly had more of those, but some never graduated into close friends and others did.

That's how it happens. Start saying Hi to people at work or school, build up a collection of new acquaintances and then let the friends arise from the pack.

>>18639494
OK OP, it's a rather long story so it'll greentext it

>

Thanks for the fucking reminder.

>>18639502
Good to know I'm not alone.

Anyhow, I know there's still plenty of people on 4chan who have girlfriends and boyfriends and I really want to know their story.

>>18639494
How delusional you are to think everybody started it same, or in somekind of same way ?
Someone met on b-day party, someone in high school class, someone walking dog every morning, someone going to clubs etc etc.

All i know for sure, it starts with looks.You give her, she gives you a look and in that moment you know you have something inbetween, what you do from there is up to you.

>>18639492
>I honestly haven't seen a single clue that she likes me back
Always act as if she already likes you = confidence
>Talk about a lot of very personal subjects like dating experiences, our problems, tell her about all my insecurities and what not since we talk so well together
Nothing makes a girl wet like hearing about a guy's insecurity. kek, nah faggot, she's not into you

>>18639585
Congrats fag, I already stated that pretty much.

Still open to feedback...

By the way picture is not me

>>18639491
First of all, don't rush in and declare your love. Make friends with her. Hang out before and after classes. Explain up front that your parents are kind of strict and don't give you much opportunity outside of school. That may not scare her off.

Meanwhile, look for activities - like school shows, school team games, and the like that your parents wouldn't object to and see her at them. Eventually you will approach your parents with "I have a friend-who-is-a-girl and would like to go to [something] with her"

>>18639459
I bet you drive a RAV4

Don't rely on others and improve yourself as an individual. They will come to you, but if your self improvement is successful you may not even want them to, having become self reliant. That self reliance only attracts people more.

I am in the same boat OP...

I have a fullfilling life with job and tons of interesting hobbies, but I feel kind of empty having no one to share my joy with, Its like something is always missing.

Join em and get your dick wet.

>>18639452
Call the police and say you just left there and they're having sex with underage children in the backyard

>>18639454
That would be my plan if I didn't have work at 6

>>18639443
>How do I get over seeing myself as ugly?

It's pretty normal to be extremely hard on yourself and to obsess over flaws that no normal person is going to pay attention to.

Post a pic tho IMO

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>>18639456
I feel like I'm always looking for a mirror to examine myself. Is it really that normal?

>Post a pic tho IMO
Best I can do is post a youngish TC. We have the same jaw, eyebrows, nose, but I have slightly bigger lips.

>>18639443
Same. I'm a cross between young David Lee Roth and Jim Morrison and my confidence is in the gutter.

I'm turning over a new leaf though. I've beaten myself up for so long for being a drag on the people around me because of my negativity, and now I've taken to fighting those negative thoughts. About twice a month I'll have days where I feel so low that I want to suicide, and I believe that this fixation on negativity is the root cause of my anxiety and panic disorder and my shitty self image. I would encourage you to do the same.

>>18639432
Jesus christ you creep
Just let her be happy you miserable cunt

I was in your situation pretty much.
Oh sure you can "wait it out"
bit, how long will it be? months? years?
Seems like she'll never like you.


Cutting contact with her will her real bad for a few days. But, in the long term it will be better.

Basically a man should never be a women's second option.

Be a man not a back-up plan.

Cutting contact with her will her real bad for a few days

She changed her mind. Lots of people have a hard time making time for their friends let alone people they haven't spoken to for 20 years.

>>18639430

It wouldn't get to me so much if she just let me know that she was busy, if that is selfish thinking. I have another friend who would respond back all the time when she couldn't make plans. I was thinking of continuing to try and pursue this but I don't want to come off as super desperate.

>>18639446

*even if that is selfish thinking

I don't know. I'm 19 and I've always felt alone too. My parents are still alive but sometimes I just wish they weren't....
My mom has abused me and and just plain made fun of me since I was 10, calling me weird and having no personality because I was quiet, and my dad was just apathetic about everything, only really caring about money
My brother is a jerk that abuses drugs and alcohol, and also calls me a bitch for being the quiet type.
I break down crying sometimes about it too.

My dog died recently too but I don't really feel like he's gone. I've still got good memories of him, so I guess I think you should just hold on to your good memories of your parents. I don't think I have any good memories of my parents. I'm a loner too.

I'm sorry if I wasn't much help but I pretty much have the same problem of not really having a family.
I know it sucks but maybe try thinking about smaller things that make you a bit more happy

>>18639438
I would give anything to talk to my dad one more time and ask him things, but it's too late. I don't even know my grandparents' names. I never asked either of them. My family is gone forever, I'll never know them now. I want to hold my mom one more time. It was such a shock seeing her with cancer, she was so skinny, so light. She used to carry me around. The week before she died she asked if she could move closer to the window and I picked her up, she was as light as a feather, it scared me. When she died (she died at her house) she was alone and I came home and found her. I called 911 but they just sent a coroner's office person. I carried her out to the car and her body was so light. Wrapped in her floral sheets she had on her bed. It just felt like a husk of a person. I feel like I'm empty too.

You do things that will let you build connections with other people like hobbies, clubs, movements, anything you can think of. Don't be afraid to express yourself, you should have opened up to your boss about your situation IMO. Even if she didn't sympathise it would have at least let you get it off your chest and help her to understabd you a little better.

As someone who was in a very similar situation last year, I have some advice that helped me. First off, stop giving a shit about social judgement in the event of being awkward. Colleges are home to thousands of people, and many of them are just as awkward as you, possibly even worse. Worst case scenario, you completely fail at interacting with a person, but that's okay because you'll never have to see them again anyway.
Second, you have to go to events to meet people. Step out of your comfort zone. You can stay home when there isn't something going on, but it there is, go. Talk to people. It'll be hard, but you need to do it. Join a club or two that interests you, and talk to people before and after class. Play to your strengths. If you're a dork, be an endearing dork. Be the best version of yourself you can be, and friends will follow.

>>18639416
You're not going to make friends without feeling nervous so just forget about that idea.

>>18639441

This is good advice. If you freeze and don't know what to say, train yourself to say that you're nervous and don't know what to say. Just don't walk away from the situation because you panic.

>>18639416
Are you currently living in a dorm?

If you are, here's some advice: Always leave your door open as much as possible. Also, walk around your floor and try to start conversations with other people who are also leaving their door open who are doing something you find interesting.

>>18639407
The voiceover field is virtually closed to amateurs and beginners. Established stars do animated films and major commercials, and there is a whole subgroup of experienced professional actors who specialize in radio, cartoons, commercials, talking books and the rest. They have separate agents just to get them this work, and it is as close to a closed shop as you are ever likely to find.

You might be able to get occasional non-paying jobs on student and beginner films

The fact that you have the luxury of picking a job based on this tells me that you have nothing to offer women.

>>18639387
i have nothing to offer to woman?! I'm not qualified for any job, just asking. give some ideas pls.

>>18639389
>I'm not qualified for any job
Which is why you have nothing to offer a woman. You're 24 years old and not going anywhere in life.

>>18639368
Fellow physics major here. Dude, you need to get involved in research and try to find your spark again. And take it from me, it's okay to fail calc 2 and 3 once, especially calc 2. Talk to your advisor about how you're feeling and that you're in a rut but you want to get motivated again. You just don't know where to start. The best advice I can give you is to stop jumping around and feeling around. Ground yourself and commit yourself to something. Your entire post is about how everything just sucks. Well yeah it does.
If you need a break, drop out for a semester, get a job as a lab tech and make some decent money while you get your mind straight. Stop trying to desperately find something that doesn't suck. I just recently had a friend get awarded her PhD in organic chem and even though she loves her field IT SUCKS, but you have to push through. Pull your balls out from your asshole and stick something out

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>>18639368
Just get a job and seek meaning elsewhere

>>18639383
Is it that simple to get a job as a lab tech? I spent two years in film school and gen ed, and then another 2 years trying to catch up with pre-reqs for physics, and I'm STILL not done.

its over man. or rather, it never really started. She never wanted to marry you. you arent really married. you just have a document glueing you together.

end it now instead of later. later will cost your more in alimony.

>>18639357
Yeah. Just end it anon. If you really love her you'll let her go. She doesn't want this relationship and you can't offer her what she wants anyways.

>her family forced her to marry me cuz of my job

Wait what? Is this some arrange marriage shit? How the fuck does any family force a girl to marry someone because of the guy's job/income?