Anonymous
I'm conflicted at my own actions toward this girl. 2017-08-20 05:24:18 Post No.18640793
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I'm conflicted at my own actions toward this girl. 2017-08-20 05:24:18 Post No.18640793
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I'm conflicted at my own actions toward this girl.
Anonymous
2017-08-20 05:24:18
Post No. 18640793
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I have this girl that I've known since high school. I don't particularly find her physically attractive, but she'd always been around. I know basically how she thinks, with having a friendship with her spamming 4-5 years. She'd been chasing me, sort of like an "Amy rose" fashion. I don't go after attractive girls, just because of the work and headgame shit they pull, not from a lack of ability or confidence.
I've kind of ignored her for a while, but I'm thinking of marrying her so I can have a good marriage. I'm in the service, so finances and healthcare won't be an issue, and my retirement will be intact in the event of a divorce. Put simply, I have a higher level of security than I would otherwise.
Does /adv/ think this is a good idea? What kind of risks could this relationship have as opposed to others?
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>>18640793
It depends on what you mean with 'not physically attractive'.
Does she pass the dick test? Is she uglier than your past gfs? Can she do anything to become attractive?
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Do it anon, she'll divorce you anyway in 12 years when she finds you in the bed with another man.
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>>18641294
She's a little hefty, but that's about it. I think I could slim her down and hey, I'd fuck her anyway.
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How the fuck do I quit playing vidya for good?
Ever since I can remember I've wasted my time on this bullshit. I don't legitimately care about anything else. When I'm at work I just want to get home and the only thing I do at home is play video games. I nearly failed highschool like 2 times just because it deterred me from doing homework, and I wouldn't have passed had it not been for my parents threatening to kick me out. I think it's the main reason why I've never really had any long-standing relationships with anyone outside of my family, and I don't even mean that as in girlfriends or whatever, just absolutely no friends at all other than the guys I played video games with.
People tell me just to get no hobbies but it's never that easy. What else would I do? Read? Nigga that shits boring. Watch TV/Movies? That's literally just the same thing with a different paint job. This is probably just some form of addiction to stimulation or whatever which will go away with detox but you get my point.
Any suggestions?
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>>18640789
What do you want to achieve in life?
If you are able to pay bills and all you want is to play games, i see 0 reason to try force yourself to not play them. Just make sure you arent morbidly obese and have a shower from time to time and clean clothes when you go to job.
In time you will grow bored of it and decide for yourself what to do with your life. No need to hurry. And now the real question:
>what games do you play?
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I'm not sure how useful this will be to you, but a big motivator for me to do work and stay away from the vidya is to listen to music. Once I start, I keep going for hours and forget about everything else. I guess it acts as a distraction from the distraction.
Maybe you could do the same. Find something you enjoy doing more than playing, something that focuses you on what is important. I'm just about the same as you right now and it is difficult to stop wasting time as much as I currently do.
I hope this helps, anon.
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I recently quit vidya permanently so I'm in a similar situation.
T b h I think unless you have sincere feelings about quitting and don't have thoughts similar to "I know it's bad but I love playing them so much" then I don't think you'll be able to quit.
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Hi I'm trying nofap to get rid of some unhealthy sexual behaviors I have been getting into (courtesy of porn) what is the recommended amount of time I should try nofap to improve overall mental and sexual health?
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I don't think it's an exact science in any way and other responses will no doubt come in. But I can really really recommend getting into fantasizing to get off. Masturbating itself is healthy and natural.
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>>18640787
However long you want, but I think no fap is a meme.
No porn is what will lead you to actually fixing your mind.
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>>18640835
are camwhores still pornography?
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What do I do when somebody in my social circle is holding a grudge on me and is spreading rumors about me?
Basically
>he was making fun of me in front of other people implying I was a coward
>making the implication that I would not show up to a planned event
>this pissed me off
>asked him to stop nicely because I didn't want to get into a shit flinging fight with him
>he declined
>learned of an insecurity that would really piss him off if I irritated it
>had a bunch of people do it
>he got more pissed than I could have imagined
>told him I'm sorry but don't try to publicly ridicule me anymore when I ask nicely to stop
>he said "fine, just don't do that to me"
>meet him at pre-planned thing
>hes super friendly and chummy
>later find out hes talking shit about me
>passive aggressively comments on all my stuff online
This would not be a problem if this person wasn't both older than me and more popular than me in a social circle we share (we are both adults), so what should I do?
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Also
>he denies still being mad at me
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>>18640769
Take a serious look at what belonging to this social circle does for you. If this guy is one of its prominent members then the social circle isn't one you should want to belong. The only way this guy will stop is when someone else starts hovering around and he directs his aggression towards them. The actual cowards are all those in the social group that are permissive of this guys behavior.
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>>18640797
>Take a serious look at what belonging to this social circle does for you
its given me a lot of very good things but this drama is ridiculous
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>>18621977
I deleted the earlier one but I thought I'd give it a go again.
This thread is about the above thread(link above) where I retracted my position at the end and said I wouldn't do it.
I am here to say that I would do it. I would talk to my family at some point or so and then go outside the city and cool off and relax and then come back and attack them. Like my parents and my younger brother. So yeah.. that is my goal.
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Screw you all who were saying it wsan't a good idea. It is a good idea and I am going ahead with the plan so yeah.. screw you
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So I joined a weight loss group that you bet money on losing a certain amount of weight. I was doing great and I fucked up this weekend and put on a few pounds by binging on shit. My weigh in date is Thursday. And I need to lose 6 pounds by then.
I know this is terrible of me and I probably deserve to lose. But I don't want to lose my money without a fight.
How can I quickly lose the weight? I don't want to do this because I have some sick disorder, it's purely because I don't want to lose the money I put in, I'll go back to healthy methods after.
Should I take a laxative? Fast? What will make me shed 6 pounds in 5 days?
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Diuretics like Lasix or dyazide, Swiss Kriss or Senakot laxative, and lots of running.
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Intermittent fasting along side intense workouts.
I.E working yourself to death.
Work out in the mornings before eating to burn fat and then have soemthing small untill 12pm.
Have your dinner around 6-8pm and repeat.
Thats how I lost 30lbs last year. Thats jus me doe
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>>18640760
>What will make me shed 6 pounds in 5 days?
Chemotherapy should do the trick.
Hey /adv/ I need you to share some experiences, so I can find out if I have made the worst decision in my life. This is will be quiet some text and I will be really thankful for any advice.
I had my first girlfriend for the last 4 years and last November I finally broke up. I did this several times before. First time after 2 years, and a second time after 3 years. She always took me back.
Yes, yes, I know: "Your are an idiot for breaking up several times, and she did wrong in taking you back. Bla bla bla..."
It is a bit more complex, since we both have a weird story to tell.
>she had an abusive boyfriend who beat her before we got together
>she admired me way too much, putting me on a pedestal all the time
>she is intelligent, but only in a social way (she is bad at maths and physics, but can give some really good advice on life)
>she is overweight, and super self conscious
>when we got together I was overweight too, had acne and bad looks (typical basement dweller)
>told her:"All I wanted was someone to love me unconditionally. Someone I can be strong with, so we can both overcome any problem.
>she told me how much she loved me everyday, and made clear: "it is you and noone else with whom I want to have kids and grow old together"
>she adapted my hobbies: gaming, IT, anime etc
>she pushed my ego to the maximum, and soon I began to do sports and started to eat healthier
>always wanted her to join in and said "lets do it together and improve"
>she never did, or when she did, she quit after one or two weeks
>I got fit, active and actually some sort of attractive for the first time in my life
>I started to love sports, traveling, and exploring new stuff
>she admires me even more now
>I more and more got annoyed by her lethargic lifestyle
>she watches stupid sitcoms, stupid youtube make-up videos, and got really active on facebook and instagram, fully immersing into this social media shit
>she goes to bed at 9 pm and is tired all day, everyday
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>>18640741
cont.
So, now my actual question:
To what extend do you guys, who have had long term relationships, accept and get along with the habtis and quirks of your girl- or boyfriends?
Is this some stuff one can deal with? Am I an idiot for always breaking up?
Will I be able to find real, genuine loyalty and life-long unconditional love with some girl who loves me, is interested in me, is not lethargic, loves sports, but also loves gaming, likes traveling, but also wants kids some day, etc etc etc. Are my standards too high?
I am also stuck in the mindset, that a pretty, active and fun girl won't be loyal. I will get cheated on by such a person, because they don't know true loyalty.
I really can't fucking tell because I never ever had another girlfriend!
Please help me. Sorry for the long read!
PS: She still wants me back, but she is super sceptical because of the last 2 times I broke up.
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>>18640741
>pic related is pretty much how she looks btw
>>18640746
>pic related is what I admire now
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>>18640746
I've been in a long term relationship and we're a little similar in the sense that my bf and I were both overweight and we did lose it. I lost it first, then he lost weight too. I took some of his interests, but he took some of mine too.
I have adapted to his quirks and he has mine too, and overall we are working just fine. We have had doubts a few years ago, and talked about breaking up, but instead we fixed it. Been together 7 years, that talk was about 4 years ago.
However when I read your post it really seems like you are heading in different directions. The whole not taking care of herself and you are seems to be the big red flag here. That doesn't seem to be her quirk, but it seems to be some kind of motivation she is lacking. If you find that you want better, go look for better. Being wishy washy is worse than staying together. It will hurt her, but maybe it's a catalyst you both need.
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In one week I find out if my family and I have been accepted to immigrate to the uk.
I've lived in South Africa my whole life and I'm really afraid of change due to my crippling anxiety. How am I supposed to not kill myself knowing that:
I'm leaving behind a fantastic relationship with my s/o.
I know nothing about how to cope with immigrating
I'm really fucking scared. Has anyone here immigrated before ?
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You won't be robbed and murdered by South African blacks anymore
Now they'll be syrians
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How come when ugly people go gay they get to date the best looking people of their respective gender? Like say a midget janitor can't get a 10/10 girl but he could get a 10/10 gay dude.
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The fuck are you talking about, OP? The gay dating scene is notorious for being focused on youth and looks (including height).
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>>18640740
Regardless they seem more accepting of men who repulse women
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>>18640733
I think you have some misconceptions. It's a metric fuck ton easier to get laid as a gay man but the people you're fucking probably won't be all that good looking.
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>made new friends recently online, i had mutuals with one of them
>i live near them
>decide to meet up with them the next day
>sitting at maccas eatin some nuggies
>the one i have mutuals with asks about my bf
>replying that it was alright but i was having struggles and that i'm not getting laid
>he asks how long we've been together
>2 years
>he says that his friend recently got out of a relationship with him and she hasn't even been in the country that long
>start panicking
>we talk about it and he starts messaging her and she sends screenshots then shows me
>i'm mortified
>was meant to meet up with bf today and take him home
>going to confront him
>so i confront him about the girl
>denies it
>shows screenshots
>still denies it
>made him show me his phone
>recently trying to root another girl
>denies it
>i leave and he doesn't stop following me
>i push him away and he finally stops, walks away and starts crying
>go back to my friends
>can't go home in such a condition
>they let me stay the night
>didn't do much but drink and watch anime
>i cry myself to sleep later on
>next day i find out that he was also fooling around with a guy
>bf texting me begging for forgiveness and finally admitting to cheating
>this is the only person i've ever been intimate with
>i want to die
>i want to die so badly
>i seriously want to die
>out of everything that's happened in my life
>I'm seriously considering suicide
>also pic related, it me.
>in reply to the other girl he dated when she asked if he thinks about me/wants to have sex with me he said:
>"I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater and cum into a small kitten or use a grater as a dildo and have my family watch than fuck her"
>it's nice to finally know how disgusting i am.
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I'm really sorry to happened to you op, no one deserves that bullshit. People like him should be euthanized.
He's upset that he got caught, not because he regrets what he did.
He's not your boyfriend anymore either
Turn your emotions into conviction, use it to improve yourself and become a better person, that is the only way you will ever really get back at him.
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He's garbage. You're not garbage, so this is for the best. You have trimmed your fat and you're rid of a dipshit that would have caused trouble for you later on, anyway. Return to calm at your leisure, and enjoy the improvement.
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>>18640785
Also, break up music really does help.
My "stupid fucking asshole abused and cheated on me" playlist was
The Cardigans - Lovefool
The Cardigans - Sick and Tired
Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive (of course)
And I'd just listen to it over and over, and it really helped me. Of course each person is different, make your own playlist
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Hey /adv/
Any of you got any cheating experiences? Good or bad or indifferent.
There's a milf that has been working on me for a long time and I think I might cave....need /ad/
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Never cheat
Never encourage such behavior
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I cheated once with a girl I met at a bar and we exchanged numbers, It was a cool experience, she and I agreed it was just sex for fun as friends, because she didn't have a boyfriend and my girlfriend was out for the whole week, so just went on with it. Don't regret it, but wouldn't ever let my girlfriend know.
Anonymous
Converting to Christianity 2017-08-20 04:54:25 Post No.18640699
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Converting to Christianity 2017-08-20 04:54:25 Post No.18640699
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Converting to Christianity
Anonymous
2017-08-20 04:54:25
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I was raised a Protestant (Methodist) as a child, but as I got older, my church became less willing to help with questions about the faith. (My father was the local pastor) I fell into apostasy As questions were met with increasingly hesitant and eventually with nothing but "I don't know". By high school o was an Atheist, though I am now an agnostic. I have since also become incredibly nihilistic and depressed for years. I have a "voice" in my head at all hours that I will die and, as there is only oblivion, everything is doomed/worthless happiness doesn't matter as a good life only matters if you can reflect upon it.
All my Christian friends seem so happy and comfy in their faith, and I've tried praying about it/keeping an open mind, but it just seems like bullshit to me. There are individual aspects that I feel have perfectly fine defenses but as a whole it falls apart. What do I do?
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>>18640699
>What do I do?
Just become an atheist
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>>18640718
I'm not a full atheist because I consider the possibility of a supernatural origin to the universe.
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>>18640699
Sorry OP you can't go back from the truth
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My new girlfriend is 23yo and she told me she is sitll a virgin because she doesn't want to waste it until now. Plus she says she thinks of herself like a whore if she did it with the guys who she had a relationship before me. We are together for 4 months now.
Fapping doesn't do it while having a 10/10 gf.
What can I do to make her more comfortable about sex?
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marry her
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The fact of the matter is that sex is a part of your life already, even if it is not a part of hers. It's something that you want to do plenty of, and going without it will end up causing problems.
Ask her to let you play the field while she's making her mind up, or break up with her. Either that or give her an ultimatum, she can keep you, or keep her hymen.
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Try to ease her into it the best you can. Do you have long make out sessions, touching? How far does she let you go? What does she say if you ask her what her ideal time line is, whether she wants to wait for marriage etc?
Also just a warning. Tread very carefully. The ideas she expresses about sex are pretty extreme and chances are that she isn't suddenly going to be relaxed and easy about sex after losing her virginity. Absolutely do not marry her before ever having had sex.
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I can not fuck my gf without hurting her. She is so tightly built, even a finger hurts her. We are both virgins
Help.
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You do know there's a thing called the hymen, right?
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Kek, she just doesn't want *you* to fuck her because you don't arouse her and that's why she's so tight and tense
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>>18640669
No, that's not the problem. A hymen is a thin ring of tissue around the outside and stretches to accommodate.
OP, it's likely she has what's called vaginismus. Vaginismus is a condition where penetrative acts cause an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles, similar to your eye blinking when someone pokes at it. Vaginismus is usually psychosomatic, meaning it's the mind and the mental state that cause it. She might be nervous because she's inexperienced. She might feel like sex is shameful because of an anti-sex upbringing. It can also be caused by trauma. There's all sorts of things that can cause it, but the point is that she needs to develop a healthy mental relationship with sex.
First things first - STOP TRYING TO PENETRATE. BY forcing penetration, you cause pain. This creates a feedback loop where penetration is associated with pain, which causes more clamping and more tightness and then even more pain. It's a vicious cycle that just makes everything worse.
Stop it at the source, stop penetration. Instead, explore other sex acts. Oral, fingering, toys, anything. Do this for a while until she's completely comfortable. Then, slowly reintroduce penetration. Use lube, and stop immediately if it hurts or even gets close to hurting. You don't want to restart the cycle by causing pain, so you have to take it very, very slow. But with time and work, she'll be able to reduce the bad mental associations and be totally fine.
Girl from work flirty with me
Think we are hitting it of good
She asks me out for some drinks
Cool
She ends up spending most the evening talking about her ex and manages to beeline any attempt of mine to change the topic, back to her ex
Confused as fuck I just end up going home
Next days at work back to being extremely flirty and basically glued to my side to the point where I am being asked (barely jokingly) if we are engaged or so.
Go out with her several more times, some of the times she is completely eneamored with me, other times I wonder if she even realizes I am there
The fuck is this woman doing with me, I can't tell if she wants a serious relationship with me, a fling, or a long lasting friendship BFF sort of thing.
We click immensely well, seemingly able to read each other's mind and compliment each other's traits and quirks.
Usually I would just straight up make a move or confront. But then usually if the answer is "not interested in you in that way" I can just leave it at that and walk away. In my current situation I would still have to work with her, which would become extremely awkward if all she wants is a friend and I misread that and try to romance it.
I have never had anyone fuck with my head this much.
Need outsider's insight. Will answer any questions you lot have about me/the "situation"
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>>18640648
She seems to be using you as emotional tampons for her problems since she's keep talking about her ex to you.
Do not shit where you eat.
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>>18640665
The ex thing was once and wasn't all that emotional at all, just pretty boring. Seemed more like she didn't know what to talk about. In hindsight I should have just asked if we could talk about anything but exes.
My confused state stems from the fact that she genuinely seems very much into me. Heck I have had relationships with women who weren't half as (seemingly) interested in, or taken by me as this current girl. But then every so often she tramples all over that with a comment or action, and I can't tell if it is her nerves or some other reason making her say dumb shit, or if she is just not interested in me.
One week I asked her out for dinner, she was over the moon, and we had a fantastic evening.
The next week I ask her out to go stargazing after she wouldn't shut up about it for nearly a week and I got turned down so hard I thought I must have misunderstood what she meant by stargazing. Then the next morning she phones me and tells me how sorry she is, and how she would have loved to come etc. so I just put the whole episode down to PMSing.
I am honestly starting to wonder if I am dealing with a bipolar person here. Still though, none of this changes the way I feel about her, and I am worried I am going to end up misreading the whole thing and fucking self destruct on it like a fucking retard.