Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 391. page

I don't think you should put to much value in diagnoses, but that's just because I personally never saw any benefit. It doesn't change who you are just because a current set of perceived character traits matches to symptoms. People change, which is the main thing I want to tell you.

I've had my deal of betrayal from almost everyone I once held dear. I don't give them any attention, they're out of my life, I'm out of theirs. Maybe I'm weak for taking such drastic measures, and not being able to see through how they mistreated me in the past. Though the only mistake was allowing them near me, and I learn from mistakes. It wasn't me who asked for them to hurt me. And though I am still shaken sometimes, with disgust and pain, I have every comfort knowing I will not deal with them again and am fully capable of building my own fortune, and proving my worth. Don't let anyone define you anon. You're worth more. Others see this. And they will respect you if you treat yourself with the respect that you want from others. If people don't respect you, and you let them, you don't respect yourself. So, don't hurt yourself by letting others hurt you.

And change that comes is also letting go of negativity. It will go naturally when you're busy living your life. I'm too busy to be ashamed of the past. Start wondering what you need to make your life better. I think you need that.

>>18647764
To be more specific: your troubling thoughts are part of the process of letting go. In my dream I've beaten people to death, and still have those type of visions, of drawing blood from those who hurt me and my dignity.

It helped me heal, in some inexplicable way, and process what I've been through. Hatred is normal. It's just a human emotion. And if people now call me a psychopath, they have no idea what they're talking about, and have no way of knowing.

These negative images and thoughts will reduce over time since it's part of the process of accepting. Be angry now anon, so that you don't have to be later. Nobody will be angry for you.

How much are we talking? If you're not desperate for that money I'd explain the situation to them and try if you can figure it out together. If it were to later turn out you lied it means there is a way to determine this now.

>>18647925
I'm not desperate for money, but it's a check for $450 and it wouldn't hurt.

>If it were to later turn out you lied it means there is a way to determine this now.
What? You mean this thread?

>>18647689
>dating someone this degenerate
Dump her and find a girl who weren't diddled as a kid.

>>18647696
>im a degenerate too
I don't know if she was. I don't want to ask too soon. But I will eventually.

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So does she want you to act like her dad or does she just like calling you daddy? Because every girl I've been with liked doing that and the fact that I was older than her

You have to quit nicotine, not smoking. Cold turkey is the only way.
Withdrawls only last about 3 days. Keep your blood sugar up as it will plummet.

>>18647677
Go see a different therapist? What do you expect to happen? Your therapist is clearly booked and has no interest or no ability to be flexible and you need better times.

That or stop seeing them for a while and try to book months ahead and see if you can get what you want then.

Or don't be a bitch and learn to confront your problems on your own. I guess I might understand if you got gangraped by your immediate family when young or something.

What? Is the that ugly?

>>18647678
Some people aren't used to hearing compliments, especially well worded long ones. Doesn't matter if the person giving them was ugly or not.

If she is already your friend, and she likes you, is there a good reason to NOT date her?

If your goal is marriage, then you're looking for someone to be a life-long friend.

Decide what you want, and tell her; make a decision. You'll have to apologize for being tongue-tied (just tell her the truth, in-person if possible), but it will most likely be OK if you apologize today (that is, ASAP). She wants you to like her, too - and if you do, that is more important than any hurt you may have caused initially. If not, then I would still tell her why her friendship is important to you.

Socially, I've found it helps to realize other people are much like me: if I spend about 30 minutes trying to put myself in someone else's position, considering all the possibilities (including what they don't know), I can often come to see things from their point of view. It really helps when trying to respond helpfully to other people.

I hope that was helpful

it means they read your text, got bored, found a chad and fucked for 24-48 hours straight, then decided to text you back

>>18647663
It honestly just depends, texting can be very long or short and immediate or dead in the water, if anything you might just end up waiting or not it's hard go tell

>>18647814
well the person in question has been in a relationship for a decade, so don't think that happened

>>18647822
should I be trying to end each response with something they can respond with easily?

usually I just answer their question

Does jerking off make you feel bad in any way?
>no
Then don't fall for the nofap meme
>yes
Then don't fap

Moderation is key
Completely stopping is retarded

>>18647661
How would I know if nofap made me feel better unless I tried?
>>18647666
Moderation is hard to achieve because I have a masturbation addiction.

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Learn to spell business first.

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>>18647618
Replace the shitty food in your house with decent food.

Sugar cereals -> Shredded wheat
Sugar candy -> Dried fruit/nuts
Soybean oil -> Olive/Coconut oil

Start cooking for yourself.
Do 30 pushups every day and increase by 10 each week.
Get a reverse osmosis filter and quit drinking gay frog water.
Soda and food in a can is soaking in gay frog plastic (BPA)

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>>18647618
Pic related will help you avoid become a nu-male soyboy.

Are you actually serious about getting your shit together, OP or are you just here to bitch about how weak you are?

>>18647611
There is absolutely no getting away from office politics, not even remote work.

Freelancing will require you to suck up to stingy retards of various political stripes and social niches to keep enough work flowing to feed yourself.

>>18647612
So I should just kill myself right now?

>>18647613
What no anon. Have you though about teaching math?

Just continue hanging out with her. She'll open up the more she knows you. You can't force something like this.

>>18647601
...is that a genderbent Demi-Fiend dressed up as a Manikin?

Oh right on topic over time she'll get more comfortable with you but maybe not now but in a little while you can bring it up. Now you don't want to come across as putting her in the wrong so you'll probably want to say something to the effect of
>Hey I noticed you seem a little uncomfortable when touching/physical contact is involved and I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to make you feel relaxed
Or something.

>>18648431
Also she's low on hp so I don't know why she's smiling.

>>18647578
you find friends that you don't have to force yourself to like. That'll be $5 please.

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>>18647579
I don't have any money, maybe I could repay you some other way...

>>18647578
do you mean their conversations, or their personalities, same thing?
do you not feel like you fit in your friend group?
elaborate anon

at my school anything below a B is a fail in grad school so you would need to retake the class lol.
it depends on your employer, most places it wont ever come up as they don't generally look at your transcript. if they do, if your grades are good otherwise then it doesn't really matter. if a one off bad grade is that important to them then it's probably not somewhere you want to work desu

I don't know what kind of area of study that is but don't you have work experience in that field ? Normally you would get a masters in a field you have been working in for a few years. At that point Gpa won't mean crap. I wouldn't work for any employer who asked me for my Gpa after I had work experience greater than a year. My Gpa is fine as well over 3.0 but still who the fuck is asking this

Ignore me if you're trying to get a phd then yes Gpa up

I don't think employers care about your grades?

Even you shouldn't care about your grades, just make sure you are learning all you need to know.

Record a large amount of evidence on your phone, then either go to HR, or a higher up who seems like a trustworthy individual. If you have enough evidence of him abusing you and others, you might be able to get him fired.

>>18647567

This person is the highest up. Next level would be county or goverment, or I could join a union and hope they can help me. But I bet that would turn into a real word against word shitshow. Im not that amazing at manipulating.

I will start documenting however, that might come in handy either way.

What about yoga? Meditation? Is there a way I can behave to make them less scary?

>>18647551
quit and work somewhere else. Sounds like he owns the company so you're shit out of luck. If you can get him on video emotionally abusing you then you could go to a lawyer and see about suing him, you'd lose your job for sure but you might get damages for emotional distress and backed pay, you'll also burn your reputation in your industry and no one will hire you once word gets around about what you did.