Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2821. page

Can you ask his parents?

>>17949003
i told him that we would have to ask them first, but i feel like they would be too "polite" to say no if it would bother them. so i'm trying to hear as many opinions as possible to find out if the general consensus leans to one side.

i find it retarded
why would you want to be reminded of your dead baby sister each time you yell out your daughters name
your husband is stupid or smt?

If you tell him he'll be against it or even break up with you if you persist.

If you're going to settle for a beta provider at least look for a white one.

>>17948937
I know this sounds mercenary, but then what? I'm nearly 27. Can I actually find a decent white boyfriend at my age? I feel like I've just got to accept it at this point otherwise.

you're on the right track for realizing the problem is you. keep going.

>>17948899
I have the same problem. But I'm pretty sure my issue is that I'm uninteresting, always anxious, and just not very smart. I think me being boring is the main thing, though. So maybe that's your issue?

>if you make the awkward guy feel like an outcast and a weirdo, maybe he'll turn normal

normie logic is terrific

>>17948897
I've suffered a lot of things way worse than browsing through gore and rekt threads, how the fuck are people so sensitive and yet not sensitive? how do people go through life, i don't understand

>>17948897
It's just gore, it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

>>17948908
I have a lot of other things going on in me that I and therapists can't help. What I saw was shovel dog (dog being beaten by a shovel) and two men being chainsawed. Sure it's not too bad but it's the last straw for me.

>>17948872
Suck his dick

>>17948874
Yeah we have sex and I suck his dick. We also watch movies and tv series and read books. He wants to do something else. He doesn't know what.

>>17948876
museum
aquarium
road trip
concert
hot air baloon ride
car show
play
shopping
sports ball game
hike

>>17948871
Alot of ugly bitches that are so ugly you'll want to chop off your dick. Ching chong~

Whereabouts are you going?

I've heard from alot of people that white guys can easily get laid there, esp. in the big cities. My own experience in a "small" city was only very little like that, and the vast majority of chicks had boyfriends/husbands.

You'll find life in that and all other aspects waaaay easier if you can speak some Chinese btw.

>>17948965
Guiling, Guangxi

Uh if he's friends with your other friend then it's a tight squeeze, could try to get him to fess up to the boyfriend if so... Or confront the girl and force her to fess up saying you'll do it anyway with proof if she doesn't. Bro route is usually what I'd take but things can be tricky when you can be affected too somehow

>>17948885
D and T have never been really friendly toward each other and since she lied/fessed up the first time any kind of communication between them is impossible now. But the proof of her lies does shift the power more to where I could make sure he knows the whole truth. I'm just not sure how he'd react to the news. He's never been a very physical guy but if he were to react that way, he's twice my size and I'd be pretty useless at stopping him.

>>17948902
It's his decision to do whatever with the information, but you're just the one doing him a deed. I'd rather beat the shit out of a friend who'd keep something like that from me, and if I got that information for a friend I'd tell them in a heartbeat. I've broken up relationships because of shit like this and I don't give a single fuck, people have looked down on me for "spilling the beans" but it's just not right. I wouldn't want to be in that situation. But that's just me

>>17948856
why cant you return it? how the fuck did you spend 600 for a coat you cant even wear

Well dude looks like you are totally fucked. All that is left is to post about it on a anonymous message board designed for fans of chinese cartoons. How are you failing so hard to deal with selling a coat dude?

>>17948901
I bought them years ago obviously, you fucking idiot.
Do you think somebody would just buy clothes 2 sizes up just for the fuck of it?
Holy shit you're fucking dumb get of /adv/ you're not fit to give advice.

>>17948826
Get stupidly drunk and express your feelings to her in song form.

>>17948826
Kiss her when she looks at your mouth and you two are alone.

Same thing that happens when you go out with any girl.

>>17948829
many thanks anon, record it and post to sound cloud?
>>17948835

>>17948749
Smoke weed and get over the fear of it.

>>17948769
I'm really uncomfortable with that. But for curiosities sake what is it like? How do I get it?

>>17948776
It's a small dopamine rush, you think differently, your body tingles, things are more colorful. Movies that are mediocre seem absolutely retarded which is why stoners laugh at everything. Dialog especially comes off as terrible. You may feel music with other senses like touch and sight. You may visualize it if you close your eyes. You may want to learn things. Things that you take for granted may seem more profound. You will make mental connections between ideas that you would normally not.

When I was a stoner I played Dota 2 and watched every documentary on the PBS website and netflix.

I do not always enjoy it socially but if you do talk and say witty things it make a conversation seem incredibly pleasurable as you actively think about the topic and what the other people are saying.

If you smoke it with a girl you talk a lot more openly about your past and feelings and always end up fucking. Having a stoner gf was very nice.

Downside is it makes you lazy. It makes you eat more. Your sleep quality is reduced. You feel foggy the next day. I am normally a very quick speaker and when I'm weed hungover as it were I get tongue tied and cannot think of words as easily.

I'm not a stoner anymore but I do enjoy writing music while slightly high sometimes. I have to keep sober from it and from alcohol this semester because I'm working and going to school full time and also need time and energy to work out and hang out with my fwb.

Weed isn't really a big deal, just don't get lazy on your life goals or let it interfere with anything.

>>17948740
I think a lot of us feel this way for a while in our lives. It still doesn't invalidate your pain though. I am guessing you are pretty young. You are going to try to fill this hole with anything that you can to feel something for a loooonnnngggg time. I think it just gets easier to deal with over time. I know it seems far away, but eventually I think you just make peace with it. Appreciate it, I know it's a bit crazy to say, but appreciate that hunger. Keep it fed but not full so that you don't forget it is there, so it doesn't hit you full blast when you come down from any high you felt. Take in those days that you feel something that tames the void just a little. Life, to me, is about soaking in the world so it can trickle through my empty vessel and I can know joy if only for a split second. Life is for those tiny drops of feeling. You were made empty so you can fill yourself up, with what is up to you.

>>17949033
Yeah, I'm only 18. I guess what you're saying make sense. I don't know, it's just that the uncertainty of life has really been wearing me down ever since I graduated highschool but if it's something everyone has to cope with, that kinda makes me feel better. At least I'm not alone. I'll try to deal with life one day at a time I guess

You're feeling unsatisfied because you went through a godawful school system. Fun fact about highschool. In a few years, you will forget 90% of everything you learned in all those 12 years of highschool.

And even when you go to college, most of what you learn will be forgotten and you'll only use what little is required to do your job. The educational sytem is such a waste of time. They put you through all these different subjects in school. Science. Math. Social studies. Are you going to become a scientist? No? Then why the FUCK were they trying to teach you science? Are you going to be a mathematician or do any college degree that requires math? Then why the FUCK were they teaching math beyond a 5th grade level? Does anyone even use the basic equations they teach in 7th grade in their everyday life? NO! They fucking don't!
Language arts? Again a completely pointless skill. All those chapter reviews over the books you were going over in class were pointless because all you need is basic reading comprehension to understand what was going on. You don't need a test over what happened in a particular chapter. And all these technical terms you were learning to see in how the story was constructed and written will be completely forgotten when you stop studying this and go back to reading books normally.

You were absolutely right when you were sitting in school all these years thinking it was a waste of time. You were absolutely right when you felt that the teachers were fucking retarded for being unable to teach their subjects in a way that wasn't fun and interesting and instead more boring than watching paint dry.

School is a fucking joke. It is a FUCKING joke.

>>17948675
>work is difficult and stressfull

This can be a legitimate thing. But the rest...

You guys either:

very likely have other major issues, and this is a red flag that the relationship has things at it's core that are making it massively dissatisfying.

Or he's got some other major shit going on in his life that's knocking him down a peg.

hes cheating. that or hes on drugs and his dick dont work

>>17948686
>have other major issues
see that's the thing, I can't point to anything that really is such a major issue. I definitely would have brought it up if I knew.

>other major shit going on
that's what worries me. is he not telling me things? it's been four years at this point if it is this I almost feel worse that he doesnt want to trust me.

>>17948668
Hello OP. I've researched this a bit.

From what I've gathered you make a pretty coin, definitely more than the average person, but nothing worth bragging about with your fellow doctors/actuaries/statisticians.

Well first off to do any actual math you need a PhD which means your BS plus another five or more years of school. And once you have your PhD it is very competitive to get a job, and very competitive to go from a crappy low paying postdoc position to a professor, and very competitive to go from an assistant professor with crap benefits and mediocre pay, to a full tenure track professor. So it's really, really hard to be a full time mathematician.

As far as the pay, you will be piss poor the entire time you are doing your PhD, middle class but not well off while doing postdocs, and not until you get a full professorship that your pay increases to respectable middle class income that you can raise a family on. But compared to something like being an actuary with just a bachelors, or getting a masters and doing finance, you would make much less money, it is not a lucrative career path.

If you just want to do math in school and have a good job, look into being an actuary, it is pretty difficult to get into the field, and you need to continue studying and passing really hard tests for most of your career to keep advancing, but it's an easy job and very high pay.

>>17948668
>theoretical mathematician

forget this because you would already know if you have enough talent for that ie, you'd have been doing calculus back in grade school

otherwise this
>>17948691

>dating a cheater
>moving in together before you're sure you'll be spending your lives together

Nigga why

>>17948646
>So my question is once a cheater always a cheater
In the absolute sense? No. Generally speaking, and as to the spirit of your question? Yes.

Cheating is a user behavior. Let me ask you this, why cheat? Why not just leave the person you're with if you're unhappy? Why sneak around?

Because the person is still a source of emotional and financial support. Your girlfriend uses people, and most likely categorizes people as either resources or obstacles. It's possible she doesn't do this consciously, it's actually very likely.

>how do you know that your SO isn't into you.
When they stop wanting to fuck you is generally a big red flag.

OP I'm guessing you're no older than 22?

>>17948648
Because until lately our relationship has been great, she told me her other dude was crap in bed and never finished her.

>>17948616

Ughh... Man... I've got no idea what to tell you...I'll just drop my story and see where it goes, hopefully you get something from it

I've been in a somewhat similar situation with a my best friend... (big differences: only known her since college, she's gay).

With my friend, it was a pretty platonic relationship to start, but at some point we got drunk one night and started hooking up (both just horny, both single for a stretch, and VERY drunk) and continue on random drunk nights

Fast forward a while, she's been dropping these jokes about "what if when we're 40 and if still alone, we get married" or "It's kind of funny, I think my moms secretly hoping you turn me straight" and a bunch of shit like that.

I don't really think much of it because for one, her sense of humor has always been pretty warped and that's the kind of stuff she'd say anyway, and two, she's gay... (as for the sex, She's kind of that type of person anyway)

One day though, we're both pretty drunk and she starts being pretty intimate, and she drops a bombshell on me about: what if we started over, what if we pretended we never knew each other and tried to do things for real.

For context, I think at the time we'd both had pretty crappy luck with our last few relationships, and we were both, I want to say about 26? 27? So I guess an impending sense that the clock is ticking was just kicking in...

I pretty much mentally just said fuuuuuuck.

I'm pretty drunk and kind of shrugged it off that night... But the next morning I tried to talk to her about it and she pretended it was all just a big joke, and tried to change the subject.

A week or two later I was pretty pissed at her--because that night, we were hanging out because I was pretty much venting and getting drunk because i'd JUST been broken up with, and I felt like I get jerked around with by someone being incredibly wishy-washy about what they wanted... and then she basically did the same shit that same night...

>continued

>>17948673

but I thought it through and connected the dots about her being truly lonely, about how in the past she'd once mentioned how the one thing she never had but always was a truly close friend, about how she was always struggling to fit in because her mother never fully accepted her, how she'd been lonely since she lost her dad as a kid, and how the future was looking scarier and scarier the close i got, and it kind of all clicked for me, and I got why it all happened.

So when I talked to her again, I kind of called her on her shit. She's the type of person that runs away when things get TOO real so I basically had to pin her down under the threat that, if this talk doesn't happen, this friendship will never be the same, and I will never be able to see her the same way again.

I told her it kind of completely fucking unfair of her to drop that kind of bomshell on me RIGHT AFTER I was clearly kind of fucked up about getting jerked around. But more that that, I told her that I loved her, but the only way i'd ever consider anything like that was that if it was something truly genuine, but that I didn't think that that was going on. That I'd be there for her, but I wouldn't be someone to be used by her to try and get over other shit. And deep down, this wasn't something that would make her happy anyway.

I basically unloaded everything I'd had on my mind, because I felt that was the only way we'd be able to move forward.

And it worked. Things were for the week or two leading up to that, but after, it went back to normal and it's like we were better friends than before.

Fast forward a few years, we're still friends, and we both are in long term relationships that are the happiest we've ever been.

I don't know how much of that is useful to you but that's my story. For me, confronting her and bringing a reality check was what apparently worked, but I have no idea what it would do for your friend.

This shit's messy man. You got my sympathies. Good luck.

If you don't love her and just wanna keep it as friends, just be her support, help her back I'm her feet and give her the advice you clearly want to give.

If you do love her, well, you know what to do.

Ultimately this is the simplest way I can put it, your lives are probably are lot more complex than what's given so bare that in mind.

Side question, what's the last relationship you had?