Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2805. page

just whisper in his ear that you want him to fuck you. being a girl is that easy

>>17954399
>>17954399
I might do that on his last day at work.

Also, any insight as to why young men become attracted to older women?

>>17954414
Oh I dunno...because they have a vagina?

I just flipped out my mom. Never swore at her before, until just now.

File: rasengan.jpg (8KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 259x194px

Are you a wind style user? If so, then blast him with a Rasengan.

Why do you avoid your father?

>>17954376
I'm so autistic i don't even use urinals cause of the same fear you have i just go for stalls

I'm shit with urinals because I have/had phimosis. It was worse when I was younger to the point where they wanted to circumcise me, but I never got it done. When I got a little older I DIY stretched it and it is no longer much more than a minor issue.

When I was younger though my piss would shoot out like a spray so I got used to sitting down. Now I kind of have to aim a bit and adjust my foreskin to get a straight stream and I get paranoid that people are going to think I'm whacking off or something or I'm going to spray out piss all over myself or the floor or something like before so I just use a stall and the issue never really gets much better.

Only when they are crowded though, I'm not bothered using them or pissing standing up any other time. Stick the whole thing out dude, get your whole cock out and point it at the urinal. You don't expose just the tip or anything crazy.

On the subject of urinals I've had more drama in toilets than I believe I should have had. People trying to talk to me, shit like that, what the hell. If I'm drunk I sort of get it and talk back, like "nice piss" or something or "does conversation help with your flow or something?" but a couple of times I've kicked off at people for putting me off and ranted about how I can't piss now they've broken the unwritten rules and I'm just stood with my dick out and I hope they are very pleased with themselves for putting me off my piss.

>>17954376
i just pull it all out and just put my hand around it so it's not really visible

>>17954361
Sounds like you can speak spanish. Good job bagging your first tinder ho.

>>17954364
She completely stopped replying after this though. I asked her what part of the city she lived in so I could choose a place, and nothing...

This is the exact thing that happens whenever I ask a girl out. They say yes, then either stop replying or flake without exception. And I don't follow up because I don't want to look desperate.

I came here expecting crappy Spanish and I'm disappointed

>>17954323

What kind of help are you asking for? Also, I'm pretty sure she wasn't looking for a mid-afternoon fucking with the out-of-shape guy that gave her a rather dull conversation.

cont'd

She comes over to my place. I do not make any conversation. I just set a movie playing and sit at the edge of my bed. She lays back and makes a sighing sound. We started making out, and taking our clothes off. HOWEVER, she did not take her panties off EVEN THOUGH I WAS COMPLETELY NAKED. We made out for a couple hours. I even tried making some sex talk (im so hard right now, I want to fuck you so bad)... Again, I may be slightly autistic and this was shit I read online. I even tried reaching down between her legs, but she said "No". At the end, she gave me a blow job (and swallowed).

A week later, I called her and said I loved her, and asked if she wanted to have dinner, but she was busy. She said she just wanted to be friends over text the next day. I said, "kk peace peace sign emoji"

Fast forward to this year, and my dad past away in September. My grades are not that good and I am on academic probation. I am depressed as fuck and many of my bad habits started coming back.

The girl from last year is my lab partner in 2 classes, along with another buff guy in one of them.I make a few awkward attempts at small talk, but for the most part I am just focusing on doing the lab work, or sitting quietly. I knew any actual conversation would lead to either her not wanting to have sex with me, or my dad dieing. Thats all that was on my mind, and didnt want to sound like I was trying to get pity points. Sympathy is not how I want to ever start any kind of relationship.

3 weeks into the semester, and after just returning from my fathers funeral, I was feeling particularly shitty. The girl and the guy started OBVIOUSLY flirting, and they skip the next class. At this point I am in the worst mood of my life. Its the worst possible combination of jealously and grief. I fucking hate it, even more so because I know I shouldnt feel jealous, and I will never let it show, but its there.

For the rest of the semester, I honestly cant tell if cont'd

what she's doing. She makes a lot of innuendo about the other lab partner WHILE IM RIGHT FUCKING THERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A few times she made some inside jokes about the blowjob, and putting her head down on my bookbag, while staring at me (it was weird, ok), or touching my hand while I was operating a separation column.

I am in a better mindset this semester, now I want to know how I should act in the lab. I want to have sex with this girl, but not do it in a way where I am doing it purely for my ego, or trying to break them up, but honestly, being in that lab with the two of them makes me sick to my stomach. I want to get with this girl, but not sure what to say. I can always fall back on something like " I thought she wasnt interested last year" so thats why I didnt care, but in any case what should I do around her in the lab? Are they any subtle flirty things I can say or do? How can I come out of this without being a complete jealous beta cuck bitch?

Cult of personality

Those people tend to be a bit narcissistic yes
Just use it for good like jobs and not like manson

>There was also a ton of drugs and alcohol. Every night we'd be drunk and high on substances and people simultaneously.

Really is a damn shame how you casually talk about having a serious drug problem. You have absolutely no idea how serious your situation is to be doing drugs like this. Get off of drugs before they ruin your life. Stay away from people who do drugs too.

Like damn that is sad OP. That is way bigger of a problem than what you were talking about.

And it blew my mind. I was feeling very high on myself at that point. I developed a sort of God complex and started getting really Shakespearean and barking commands at people and just generally being super theatrical. It was pretty funny. But the lines blurred. I carried it too far and a friend of mine who was also tripping tried to choke me out and we were separated from each other.
But people kept on recording the things I'd say. And I felt like they had to be wrong so I made sure I took it too far. I got mean. I ended the positivity that night. And eventually it got somewhat back to normal but not really.
After that I'd be tripping every other weekend and they'd still be writing down things I said. The group would get smaller though. People stopped texting me back. I started feeling pretty alone again. They got on with their real lives and I didn't. I still hung out constantly with those who didn't leave.
I really like these people. And over the last few weeks the situation has dramatically improved. But I still feel like my ego is at risk. I feel like a narcissist around them. And those who are still around encourage it. And sometimes I fall back into feeling that way.
This is such a weird thing but I'd really appreciate any input. There's also way more to it but I feel like I'm just rambling.

>>17954275

I should add she was talking to this guy for about roughly 2 months not even.

Placing blame and declaring someone crazy are not helpful things to do in this situation. As far as actual helpful advice goes, get out of your living situation ASAFuckingP. Either move out or get her to. You can ask her to meet up with him only at his place until your living arrangement situation is worked out, but it probably won't be well received if you ask her not to date him at all, even temporarily.

Yes it's wrong and inconsiderate, but so is cultivating a new relationship behind your back while she is sleeping next to you every night.

Tell the cunt to meet him outside the house.

You seem well adjusted and non revolting. Seems like you just lack self confidence. I mean, you've even dated before but you don't feel confident enough to talk to a woman. How did you get pussy before? Just do that again.

Bump, the feedback is useful

Cold approach. Trust me, it's a legit remedy for anxiety, awkwardness, and confidence.

There's no such thing as "normal" when it comes to sex. There is, however, such a thing as compatibility. He may just have a lower sex drive than you, which is certainly a thing that happens. Speaking for myself, masturbation fills a very different need than sex does; it isn't a replacement, it's a complement (NOT a compliment! Different things!).

Asking him not to watch porn isn't a helpful or reasonable request, I think. You've asked him to stop watching porn because you want to have sex more often. Why don't you just say explicitly that you want to have sex more often? How about you start initiating sex instead of waiting for him to do it?

I think once a month for an unmarried couple that doesn't live together and isn't trying for a baby is a perfectly normal amount of sex and nothing to be alarmed about.

If you want more then sit down with him and talk about it.

I can't speak for other relationships but I've lived with my boyfriend a couple years now and we have sex even less than that. It's not because we're not attracted to eachother, some people just aren't as big on sex as others. I used to be in a relationship in which the guy would call me up wanting sex almost exactly once a month for a while, which I remembered and made note of because it would always land right on my period.

Biologically, I figured around once a month would make the most sense since that's how often women ovulate.

You have a shitty unhealthy sex life, and since apparently you have an unsolvable problem with it, you should split up and look for someone capable of giving proper dick

>>17954231

You can't be sure. You just have to give it your best shot.

>>17954234
/thread. Dating, and life in general, is about striving to be the best you can possibly be in that moment. Nothing is guaranteed, but that will give you the best odds for success.

You can't.

>>17954204
I agree that it's the stigma of playing vidya. Despite all you do for yourself, your insecurity is preventing you from enjoying what you like.

The truth is that, if you have every other part of your life together, people won't really care if you play vidya. Stop judging yourself, you're being harder than actual society would be

Are you paying due to weak mindedness (ie. pay to win, ego items, skinners box etc). Or are you paying a membership fee? If it's the latter, does your game feel like a waste of time and when your game goes under will you wish you had done abstractly MMRPG-like things in real life instead?

>>17954266
Membership fee, skins are gay and p2w is cancer imo. The game itself doesn't feel like a waste of time since i really like to play when i've time, i do other things in real life like i said before so... I don't think so, i've switched from one MMORPG to another over the years. I already deal with people and responsibilitys at work university and 0 friends so no again.

>>17954187

If you have to ask the answer is pretty obvious.

>>17954187
Is the pleasure of one night of sex greater than the shame of betraying your principles? The shame of betraying the things you believe in can last years, and sticking to principles when it isn't easy creates self-esteem.

Otherwise fucking go for it. You have one life, maximize the pleasure and good times before you age and die.

kys

In my experience, all of those college "deadlines" are just what they put down on paper so the entire student body doesn't try and switch courses like, halfway through the semester. It's not like there's something in the computer system that BLOCKS you switching courses after a certain date; as long as you convince some human being to switch it, it can be done.

Do you have an advisor? I'd email them (like right now, though maybe they won't get to it over the weekend). In all likelihood, they'll take care of it for you.

>>17954210
>Do you have an advisor?
I have no idea. I've spoken to counsellors at the college to sign up for my courses, but I don't know of anyone's name or anyone's role being an advisor.

If it's any help, I go to a state college that was a community college until a year or two ago.

>>17954183
Generally the smaller and less bureaucratic the school, the better chance you have of convincing someone to let you drop it. Show up first thing on Tuesday. Even if you can't convince the person you need to, you won't have lost anything.

order the job, wait a few days for it to be shipped.

I guess you live near one, just go ask the receptionist.

>>17954136
Search it up on a site like SimplyHired or Indeed. I've seen Amazon gigs pop up a bunch of times.

>>17954134

By becoming someone you can love. Some do this earlier on in life and are more satisfied, but it's never too late really. Make a concrete list of what your ideal self would be like and then step by step work up to that person.

>>17954134

Why do you hate yourself?

I don't even get how it's possible for somebody to hate themselves

I have almost no friends
I live at my moms house
I have a mental illness

And even I don't hate myself
The fuck you gotta do to hate yourself? Rape somebody and regret doing it later? Like fuck I never got this