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How do you break up with someone if you still love them?
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Bump, please help.
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That sounds like the best possible reason never to break up with someone, to be perfectly honest.
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>>17978856
I know you may have reasons, but I think you should prevent at all cost that type of hard, direct solution if you got problems. Talk before, think before, think again before.
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Can you ever recover from this shit.
My therapist said to me that depression can be something that sticks to you for your whole life, and that you just need to learn how to cope with it.
I am tired.
So fucking tired.
I can't deal with this shit if the rest of my fucking life is going to be a daily struggle of trying to find a reason to just live.
I hate myself, and I want to fucking die, but I don't want to kill myself because it would hurt my family, the only people who have ever cared about me.
If my parents were dead, I'd probably off myself immediately. The only thing that stops me from suiciding is the feelings of obligation I have towards my parents. I don't want to let them down.
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>>17978842
>Can you ever recover from this shit.
Kind of. I have clinical depression and been through some really fucked up shite a long time ago. All I wished for was death it didn't matter if it was painful or not, all I wanted was for my life to end, I wanted to lose consciousness so much I used to envy those in a comma. But I was able to recover from that.
If you are eventually able to "beat" this horrible state of constant pain you'll feel so much better that just the idea of getting in that dreadful mood again will scare you like a bitch. So I for once try to avoid anything that might pull me back in into that suicidal state, because I fucking know how horrible it can be. Don't get me wrong it's not easy as it sounds, I feel like there's always a ghost haunting me just waiting for the first chance it has to fuck me up again. But honestly it's so much worth it mate, although I'm not as happy as the people around me just being able to enjoy things again from time to time is just so much better than what it was in the past.
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>>17978842
>If my parents were dead, I'd probably off myself immediately
Same. I have one left.
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>>17978911
> I feel like there's always a ghost haunting me just waiting for the first chance it has to fuck me up again.
I know that feeling. It is like a constant, black abyss hiding within your own head, ready to swallow you up again, and you have to constantly fight to keep it at bay.
Some days, are easier, when I can distract myself, or spend time with people that make me happy, hell, some days I actually feel generally ok and well, but then there are days like these, when my anxiety and depression roll back in full force, making me want to hurt myself and die.
The most common question I ask to myself is "what am I going to do?"
I am so fucking lost in my life. Last year was a small refuge of stability, where I got to a one year course and actually moved on with my life a bit, but after it ended, I don't know what the fuck to do, and that uncertainty is fueling my self destructive feelings.
I am so fucking tired of all of this.
The idea that by killing myself, I could put an end to all my troubles, is something that I cannot get out of my head. I know, the whole "permanent solution to a temporary problem" but the problem is that depression is not temporary. It is fucking permanent facet of my being, and it has ruined my life.
I turn 24 this year, and I got nothing going on in my life. I am a jobbles, educationless loser who is dependent on his parents money completely. I am a fucking disgrace and I do not deserve this life.
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>I want to study computer science/engineering (in Europe, in English)
>I pretty much bombed high school (3.5 gpa)
what are my options?
backstory:
I have worked as a software developer for a few years, my coworkers always have an holier than thou attitude when they speak with me because I don't have a degree.
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>>17978777
Apply for scholarship with your work experience?
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>>17978803
>Apply for scholarship with your work experience?
There are scholarships based on work experience? How does this work? What countries is this an option?
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>>17978777
>(in Europe, in English)
You want to study CS in the UK or Ireland then. Virtually no Bachelor programs that are taught only in English.
>>17978810
You won't be finding stipends or scholarships in Germany.
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>Scrolling thru job postings online...
>HOW
>FUCKING
>BORING
I do not want a job like that.. general labor, construction, cashier.. how fucking boring man
What do I do? I live in an expensive coastal city on the west coast of the USA and only have 6K in savings... also I am currently homeless and trying to get my life together since i do not want to waste another year doing NOTHING. help me help myself.
In an ideal reality, I would find a proper camper van and live out of that but thats not really an option with the money I have. I would also ideally love to get an apartment but also cannot afford that.. where the fuck do I start? I have a skilled trade btw but have to work towards my license - which will not happen immediately.
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>>17978773
You care more about being bored than being homeless. Lol wtf suck it up.
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ask bill gates for some money, the media always says that hes so generous
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>>17978782
I just do not know how to embrace society, why should I have to spend my days working for someone else and get paid min wage.. I need some ideas!
Anonymous
How Do I Lower My Standards / Stop Being A Prick 2017-01-21 07:50:33 Post No.17978761
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How Do I Lower My Standards / Stop Being A Prick 2017-01-21 07:50:33 Post No.17978761
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How Do I Lower My Standards / Stop Being A Prick
Anonymous
2017-01-21 07:50:33
Post No. 17978761
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This girl who's into me is literally perfect except for the fact that I'm not all that attracted to her actual face.
I want to be with her, but I can't get rid of this nagging thought about her slight unnatractive-ness and worrying about what others would think too. It's not like repulsive or anything, but just a little off(?), weird.
How do I stop these shitty thoughts? She has a perfect perfect personality, cute style, hot body, etc.
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>>17978761
Don't bother,
I went down this road with someone and when you leave that initial feeling of "they're perfect in other ways" u start realize you're still more attracted to others, even with their flaws. It'll make for alot of insecurities in the relationship and u will eventually fall for someone you're actually attracted to.
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If you don't find yourself attracted to her now, you will probably feel even less attracted as the years go by. You need to weight the benefits against that.
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you have to fuck her hardcore, so that her tears cover her ugly face
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My boyfriend of two months keeps pushing me to sleep over all the time. He told me he loved me before our first date, we had sex on the second and the first two weekends after I slept over for the whole weekend.
I feel like the relationship has moved too quickly, and while I am serious about him I want to slow things down. I am supposed to go out with him today after not seeing him much in the last two weeks and he is pressuring me to sleep over again tonight. I feel bad and have a hard time saying no, and I feel like I got swept up into this relationship faster than I was ready for. I don't know how to tell him that I don't want to sleepover because of the moving too fast thing and his other bad habits, and I also feel bad for trying to slow things down since it is very easy to make me feel guilty. I don't see this relationship moving in a healthy direction if everything is on his terms. He want's to know why I don't want to sleep over but I don't know a gentle way to tell him why I don't.
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>>17978755
>gentle way to tell him why I don't
Tell him you really like him and things are moving too fast and you're not ready and want to take a break.
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>>17978755
Lol he wants to fuck you some more.
Your not down to fuck, let him know, hey anon i don't want to be your fleshlight.
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>>17978772
The thing is that he sleeps really long the day after. We can fuck three of four times before I even call a cab to get home. Also it seems like he really rushed the relationship to the next level almost immediately.
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There's no way to make this sound ok so:
Tldr; brothers girlfriend cheated on him with me, what do
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>>17978728
Tell him. Or steal her. Which do you value more?
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Nice dude. Close with your brother?Set up a 3 way and spit roast her.
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>>17978728
Ask your brother forgiveness for being such a shitty person, having a family member do that to you would be the worst thing ever. It's definitely also her fault but you as a trusted family member should be ashamed
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I live by the idea that I should never text first. The main reason is that I may seem clingy or obnoxious.
Is this a good rule to live by?
When should I make exceptions?
Also, general communication thread.
Pic unrelated, a BSOD.
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>>17978705
Are you guy or a girl?
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>>17978705
As long as it's something like "hi how are you" and not on a daily basis, you're ok.
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I think texting habits cant be rules to live by, no matter how good they are. And yours is stupid, it pretty much makes it impossible for you to initialize contact. Might as well never talk to people, what if they think you're clingy and obnoxious? If you feel like texting someone do it, if they see you as clingy or obnoxious because of it too bad, move on.
Yesterday my 19 year old cousin got engaged to another woman. That side of the family is very traditional and Christian. They know, besides my grandma, but all assumed it was a "phase." Her dad killed himself last year, and she's been latching on to my dad as a father figure... And he's uncomfortable with it.
Anyways, my point is that grandma doesn't know at all, and she's suffering from some bit of dementia and memory loss. She's a hugely conservative Deep South traditional woman, and being told her only biological granddaughter is "going gay" might kill her on the spot... Or will be something she'll need to be reminded of frequently, only to melt down again and again.
I personally would keep this kind of thing quiet to grandma, but I get that she wants to feel empowered.
How can I best support my cousin and dad as she drops this bombshell on the rest of the family, especially grandma? I'm the only liberal one of the whole family besides her.
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>>17978691
has she taken dicks before?
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>>17978695
Tell her she can call me Daddy
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Wait, your cousin wants to come out to your sick grandma?
No wonder she doesn't like dick, she is one. Fucking feminist seeking for "empowerment" at the cost of others well being
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I get very easily annoyed by other people in public. I don't know how to stop it from bothering me. It wears me down to be around them.
Especially fat people, who are depressing in every way.
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>>17978687
You're a judgemental narcissist; probably because you have no prospects yourself. Anybody that you might see as slightly under yourself you chastise even further below you.
Solution: do volunteer work, realize the gratification gained by helping another human being in dire need. It will allow to gain perspective.
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>>17978848
You didn't learn enough to call me a name. Bonus irony points for 'judgemental.'
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>>17978879
Not him but what you gave is an enormous symptom of narcissism and getting especially annoyed by fat people shows that you're judgmental of them.
His advice is pretty solid as well.
Anonymous
How do I begin socializing? 2017-01-21 06:56:33 Post No.17978603
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How do I begin socializing? 2017-01-21 06:56:33 Post No.17978603
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How do I begin socializing?
Anonymous
2017-01-21 06:56:33
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Never saw any of my friends outside school as a kid. Was in a special class for the autistic kids from P4 onwards, and avoided neurotypes like the plague. At the age of 12, discovered social media. Started talking to friends outside school on facebook, but nowhere else. Left/finished School over a year, and a half ago. Went to College. Instantly alienated everyone there, except one friend. With whom I have since lost contact. I've been isolated for over half a year now, (failed the course, so no job prospects), and my only socialization happens on Facebook, where I talk with exactly nine people, or with my mother, who is the only person I talk to in real life. On top of all that, I have an anxiety disorder, that causes me to vomit, stutter, and/or lose control of my right hand, (it starts shaking uncontrollably) if I get too stressed, which, thanks to my autism, and undersocialisation, happens at basically every social function.
My FB friends are all perpetually busy/not in Scotland, so I don't get to meet up with any of them more than once every couple of months.
I used to really like being alone, but it's ruining my job prospects, and being in isolation is fucking destroying my mental health. I'm an insomniac, I'm paranoid, I'm losing all perception of time, and my anxiety is only getting worse.
I go outside a lot, but just to go on walks to burn off energy. I don't socialize with people while I'm out.
My question is this: How do I start socializing with people? Where do I find people IRL who will want to talk to me?
I tried striking up random conversation with people on the street, but females just assume I'm a pervert, and the one guy I tried to talk to fucking decked me.
So, yeah.... I'm out of ideas. You got any?
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It's simple. You're a pitiful loser. I don't mean to offend, but we both know it's true. No one wants to approach an unlikable uninteresting autist unless they're being purely sympathetic. You have to work on yourself first before working on how to connect with others.
Social anxiety is a sure sign of a weak minded individual, but there still could be a slim chance to alter your conditioning and mental attitude. So first tell me, what do you think makes you, you?
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>>17978603
Just start by touching them. Works very well for me.
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>>17978671
Why are you even here? What help do you think you can provide to anyone?
Anonymous
Taking someone back after cheating 2017-01-21 06:53:27 Post No.17978593
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Taking someone back after cheating 2017-01-21 06:53:27 Post No.17978593
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Taking someone back after cheating
Anonymous
2017-01-21 06:53:27
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So I'm not gonna go into the whole thing, but is it a no no to get back with someone after they "cheated"?
I put cheated in quotes because she fucked a couple other guys while we were talking, and I ended it there.
I feel weird, bc while we have no obligation to be faithful to each other, that shit still hurt. I can understand where she was coming from, that we weren't exclusive and free to date other people since we were only talking. But I want her back, is it a dumb move?
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>>17978593
Lol wtf did i just read. You did not get chrated on, you just some guy she didn't like enough to fuck.
Move on that chick does not want you.
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>>17978593
You have no idea how badly I want to hear this from somebody I know. I made a mistake and fucked up my chances with him.
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>couple other guy
dude, have a little more self respect.
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I'm going to my first professional massage soon. I had a few questions:
It's an Asian massage parlor, which I know are infamous for happy endings. Is this common? The place is small but professional looking, has all five star reviews, and charges 60$ an hour. The website describes it as being an "intimate" massage.
If they do, do happy endings, how do I get in on that?
Also can I tell them I want a female masseuse? I don't know if men work there but I don't want a guy massaging me. Also can I pick the most attractive one?
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>>17978583
professional looking ones are less likely to do that in my experience
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They will if you show them a wad of cash, pretend like you droped your wallet and that kind of stuff. Also tell them you are not a cop
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>>17978583
>tfw nowhere to learn massage because dumbass massage classes are for professionals and cost literally $60,000 and require you to take half a year of introductory bs before starting practical
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now and moved in together a year ago. It's been great except that I wake up early for classes and he bartender and gets home from work at 4:30am-5. We've talked about how I hate waking up alone or getting woken up from him coming home. I feel like I'm loosing my mind I don't want to break up with him over something that I know we can solve but unless he quits his job or I drop out of school idk how we can be on the same sleep schedule.
WHAT DO?!?
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>>17978571
Go to bed earlier and wake up at 5 when he gets home.
Spend a bit of time with him, then work out, shower and go out.
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>>17978579
But if he goes to sleep at 5am right when he comes home? Otherwise thats not a terrible idea
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I sleep 11pm-7am normally he sleeps 5am-2pm normally.
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Ghosted my ex years ago.
She still finds excuses to contact me every 6 months or so despite having been in a relationship since. Will send me an invite to connect of LinkedIn of text me 'happy holidays' or tell me she's in town.
Why is she persisting in this for so long when I have never answered her or given any indication that I want anything to do with her?
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She's delusional and not over you. This isn't normal behavior.
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>>17978625
Summed up pretty nicely. OP you didn't need to make a whole thread about this lol
/thread
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>>17978625
>>17978640
>not over you
Well I figure that she obviously wants something from me from the mere fact that she's contacting me, but it just doesn't seem like she's particularly out to get back together or anything.
Seems more like she just wants to know I'm available to her and that I don't get to cut her out of my life.